We asked the question because we can often understand the person's conditioning a bit more easily, and may be able to help more easily. Certainly our relationship with our parents is an influencing factor in our conditioning. By understanding what type of relationship you have with your parents, this may give us more of a clue of how we may be able to help you with particular techniques from the Buddhist tradition. So it was mainly to understand your conditioning so we may be of more help to you in your life and your Dhamma practice.
The next part of the question, "Is there any link in your minds with the work of psychologists?" Most of our understanding of human psychology has been gained through Dhamma practice. I haven't read much about psychology, and from what I understand, Western psychology is learning a lot from the Buddha. In fact we do have a lot of psychologists coming here to learn the Dhamma to help them be better psychotherapists.
When you look at the Four Foundations of Mindfulness - if you want to understand the mind - it's life transforming. As you become more aware of your body, you become more aware of the Hindrances, more aware of the eight worldly dhammas, and all that the Buddha taught. We come to understand our mind very intimately; understanding Dukkha, the cause of it, and the way out of it. As we walk the Noble Eightfold Path. we understand Dukkha, and how to let it go.
I feel the Buddha is "the great physician", he was able to understand Dukkha, and find the way out of it.
Taking the next question, "Do you think a healthy, balanced mind is reliant on having a specific relationship to one's parents/early carers?
Having a healthy, balanced mind is reliant on developing unselfish emotions towards anyone in this world, but particularly to our parents. They gave us the human life. Whether we can have a good relationship or not may be limited to how much we get along with our parents. However, whether we get along with them or not, we certainly can begin to understand them as a human being who gave us a lot, brought us up. They gave us the human life, and even though they may have done difficult things to us, perhaps, in our early life, we realize that if we hold on to aversion or other negative emotions towards them, it prevents us from finding inner peace.
If they have done difficult things, it is important to be able to let go of the idea of them as "your parents", to try to see them as another human being who is clouded by ignorance, the Five Hindrances, and try to understand their "humanness".
So in order to have a healthy, balanced mind, it's important to learn Forgiveness for everybody; Compassion/Lovingkindness for everybody, including ourselves, because if we don't learn how to let go, then we're not having enough compassion and lovingkindness for ourselves. Holding on to any grudges or these types of things harms ourselves, so we need to have enough compassion for ourselves to try and let them go.
Certainly, if you can develop a good relationship with your parents, you are fortunate, but that is often not so easy for some people.