Question

Is it important to confess unwise actions to others or is it enough to confess them inside ourselves?

Answer

Buddhism talks about the basic act of confession, and uses it, in particular, with a type of Forgiveness Reflection, Forgiveness ceremony which monks and nuns do. And I believe Rosemary will been talking about it to you later in the retreat. At times it can be good to confess, but you better be careful to whom you confess things to. In some religions, when confessing to a priest or minister or whatever, that person will guarantee not to be telling other people about it. That person will try to help you in some way with some advice, though sometimes they may not have advice. So being careful who you confess to, would be very important.

Whether you confess to anyone else or not, or confess within yourself, it is important that you have the Moral Shame to acknowledge that you did something wrong. But you don't want to stop with Moral Shame. I don't think we have talked about that yet, Moral Shame is grouped together with another pair of words, Moral Dread. In Pali, they are called the "Lokapala Dhamma," two virtues that protect the world.

So if we only have Moral Shame we are looking at the past and we see what we did which was unskillful. We acknowledge it, but that doesn't change things in the present or the future, that's where Moral Dread comes in. Moral Dread acknowledges in this moment, uses the wisdom which Moral Shame has seen, uses the understanding Moral Shame acknowledges, and in this moment, says, "Oh, I don't want to do that again because I'm afraid of having the same Dukkha again. I don't want to do it in the future either, I'm afraid of having that Dukkha again." So Moral Shame looks into the past and Moral Dread is the work we do in the present and in the future. So even if you don't confess to others, acknowledge it in yourself, and work towards not doing it again.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.