Renunciation is a big one. Before I explain more, I'll explain more about why it's a big one. In one retreat, a person was having an interview with Rosemary, and somehow the Paramis came up. They were a brand new student, the Paramis came up, and they got interested. After their interview, they wrote a note, "Could you please write down the ten Paramis, I'd like to look at them more and see how they relate to my life." I happened to write back the note, but I made a mistake. Instead of writing resolution, I wrote Renunciation a second time. So, the person had an interview with me the next day, and they came in and they were very excited. They wanted to tell me how they felt when they got the list of the ten Paramis that they were very excited to get it, they wanted to see which ones they could develop and this and that. Fine. So they said they looked down the list, "Generosity, yep, I know I could do a lot more on that. Next one, Morality, yes, yes I need to do something there. Next one, Renunciation, I'm not sure about that one, I really like my comforts. Maybe the others are easier. Next, Wisdom, yep good one. Energy, yep very good. Patience, oh yes, yes, I could work more on Patience. Truthfulness, well, it's not as hard as Renunciation. Everything's kind of OK except Renunciation. Now what's next, Renunciation!? Again! Boy does Steve really know what I need!"
OK, Renunciation's a big one. But we have to actually look at it on lots of levels. Again, this is not black and white, and a lot of people getting into Buddhism get very black and white on Renunciation. Some things which helped me with not being black and white on Renunciation was being in some monasteries and seeing what the monks and nuns do. Seeing how many pairs of shoes some of them own and what they do regarding their food and their this and their that. That helped me a lot to see, "Oh, some people can renounce on certain material levels but then they're still attached on other material levels."
And then we've got the mental level, which is actually the more important part of Renunciation. Because as the teachings go within Theravadin Buddhism, they say that there are four levels of enlightenment. On the fourth level a person's 100% totally enlightened, but there's three lower levels in which people are partly enlightened. On the first two levels, people can still be married, can still be having kids. Even though they've experienced partial enlightenment, they still have attachments to the sensual desires and that's part of the first two levels.
There's a Buddhist story of a woman who was on the first level and had twenty kids. Somebody on that level understands reality more than some person who's taken on a whole lot of rules, become a monk or a nun, whatever, and yet has never penetrated deeper Wisdom level. So on the Wisdom level, the Renunciation of our anger, Renunciation of our jealousy, of our self-centered views and all these sorts of things, that's actually the more important part of Renunciation.
Too many lay people put very high ideals onto themselves for physical Renunciation which actually don't work, and then everything blows up. Because there's too much suppression, there's too much denial, there's too much conflict with our friends or relatives this or that. This is not to say we don't need some Renunciation in our normal life, to renounce excess entertainment, to renounce alcohol and drugs which confuse the mind. To renounce too many clothes and shoes and all this sort of stuff, to renounce excesses in that way, to be more Compassionate, that's a Compassionate kind of approach to the whole world.
If I only own two or so pairs of shoes instead of thirty pairs, I've saved the world some resources. But again, we can't be totally idealistic because some people in a particular job have to have a certain amount of clothes, etc. So that you have got to look at yourself on this, but Renunciation also includes the attachment to what we own. So it's not so much the fact of owning less, it includes the attachment to even what we own. A person who owns one pair of shoes, who becomes distraught, angry and mad if the shoelaces break or something, this is not as good as a person who has 3 or 4 pairs of shoes and when the shoelaces break down, well, they go get another one.
You have to look at your Renunciation of attachment to material items as well. But again as to Wisdom growth, the Renunciation of the fear, worry, and all this is the main thing. No matter what our outward form, whether we're a renunciant as to material things, to look at our mind states and try to renounce the negative ones.