Well, I don't think "the gap" is called self-hatred, but our reaction to it could be, our reaction of self-hatred, and that depends on whether we're actually reacting in a wise way to see who we are in the present and our deepest ideals. I'd prefer to call it idealism, idealistic practice. Unbalanced idealism leads to self-hatred.
Self-hatred often comes from idealistic practice and not recognizing perfectionism, idealism, and realism. We don't want to let go of all of our ideals because they inspire us to try to practice in order to close that gap between who we are today and what we would like to be - to recognize our fullest potential. But, perfectionism and idealism tends to be like a too stern teacher to the person who has not yet realized that and says, "Well you know you should have realized your potential already, you know about it intellectually, therefore you should be able to do it!"
But we wouldn't treat a child like that, would we? We have to actually be realistic and understand who we are today and try to have compassion for our insufficiencies or inadequacies, have compassion for them and see the pain they bring in order to transform that unbalanced idealism into a more realistic view of who we are now. Have compassion for the ignorance that causes us to do things which stop us from being able to live up to our ideals, and then bring up some determination to try to put more effort into the practice of transformation, yet not expecting the results so fast.
Patience helps as well as understanding our particular tendencies and bringing up the effort to prevent ourselves from putting ourselves in positions that make it difficult to live up to our ideals. So there's a certain amount of humbleness necessary to understand who we are and what we need in order to live closer to our ideals and bring up the determination and compassion to ourselves; to try to bring up the effort to prevent. Objective awareness helps so that we're not judging everything that's arising. We understand that if we're more objective we can transform these things, and that this is the means to transformation. A lot of it is just craving for the result and getting upset that we're not there yet.
Self-respect; a lot of this comes from being able to follow through with our resolutions and not making our resolutions so high and out of our grasp that we can't possibly live up to them. It's trying to walk a more middle way and make smaller goals - like the next five breaths, the next five steps - rather than wanting to be the result of practice right now. Self-respect means being truthful to ourselves and taking joy with what we can do and building on that, encouraging the good in ourselves so that we can follow through with these things in a gradual way. Often renunciation not balanced with compassion can cause this particular tendency. If we focus on renunciation and will-power rather than the compassionate intention towards ourselves, we may not understand the means for transformation enough.
However if we don't practice the effort to prevent, it's very difficult to have self-respect, especially if we're always putting ourselves in situations where we continually fall down on our resolutions. Self-respect also comes from understanding that at least we're trying, and not many people are even trying to transform themselves, and that it's difficult. It's not an easy thing to do. So respecting oneself that one is even trying to transform the mind, respecting one's good qualities, and learning how to take joy with them. Being more content with gradual growths.