Question

Is it beneficial to try to find a partner who's also a Buddhist meditator as opposed to being single?

Answer

A few years ago we started having many assistants here who were couples. Prior to that we rarely had a couple before. But a few years ago we started having many couples. Then for about the last three years, other than an odd person here and there, we were having nothing but couples! And we found ourselves having lots of relationship questions. And we have a lot of ideas for a relationship book!

However, as to this particular question: being in a relationship opposed to being single, now we can't say yes or no, it's just not possible. I think yesterday I was answering some of this stuff, celibacy and whatever. We can't really say one is going to be better than the other. It's going to be up to a person's personality. Their conditioning, their Parami make-up, their Kammic background. There are going to be a lot of other factors that dictate whether the person really does grow better and quicker alone, or whether they could grow better and quicker if they were together with someone who could support them.

Now having said that, let's change the word partner a little. I just referred to partner as being an intimate relationship. Don't forget that a Kalyanamitta (a good, kind, wise spiritual friend) is important for your practice to be 100%. So, in this sense, OK, a person can be single, but if they're totally alone, they never have any partner, any friend at all who can help them, they're not going to go far. So, in that sense, we still need somebody that we can communicate with who is also (as it says) a Buddhist meditator who will help us in our practice.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.