I don't use the words reactive and proactive, but I assume I understand what they mean. To have more interest in other people's wellbeing in a direct situation is maybe what this person is referring to. To actually let go of the "me" which we all walk around with. We all walk around with a big "me" behind the eyes. If we can let go of that, from time to time, when we deal with other people and see the other person and the other person's pain. Having Compassion for their pain and not having the "me" there, often allows us to understand how to do at least something to be more, I assume, proactive.
We need to balance that though. We have to balance that because a lot of people don't want our help no matter what we want to give to them. As I say every regular retreat on the seventh evening, we might have a perfect solution to a problem, we might have fixed it before many times, but if they are still not interested, they don't want it, then we can't possibly give it to them. We can't force it on them and that is where the balance with the Equanimity has to come in. But to a large extent, just even knowing or understanding when to try to help is important.
You have all had many interviews with me and Rosemary, as a minimum at least three, and some of you many more than that. You know that when we are answering your questions we're not so much trying to be somebody who is answering the question, but we are more listening to your question and churning in the brain and in the heart some sort of, "Where have I touched that before, what do I know that can maybe help find a solution?" We try to just bring it out, without the "me." This is an important part of the balance. Not being, not having a "me" there. Because the minute we have a "me" there then we have the wish, "I want to help them." We have already split into two people. And if they don't like what we want to give them, then we may feel, "Ah, they have rejected me" because we still have this "me" there. But when there is no "me" there, then there is just a problem to be solved. We see if there is some understanding we have to help the problem, and if it works well or if it doesn't work, OK, it is not a big slap on "me", it just didn't work that time. Maybe that helps.