Preference is a very odd word. We prefer something, I prefer a warm climate, I have this preference. Where does my preference come from? We are conditioned creatures, preference must come from our past. I have been conditioned in a certain way, therefore I prefer something. So, do we actually have a choice when we say we have a preference? To a certain extent, maybe not. It is already conditioned.
Preference is built up over many years. So is there actually a choice here or is it all past conditioning? Buddhism will say basically it is all past conditioning. Can we change preferences, can we actually change our past conditioning? When I was 18 years old I had a favorite candy. Came in a little box, it was little round suckers, and they were sweet and tart, sour, whatever. Very nice. They were hard. They're called Jaw Breakers. When I was 18, they broke a tooth. You are supposed to suck on them until they are small, then you can bite them. Waiting to bite, sometimes you know when you are 18, you don't wait. You rip them open and see what's inside.
Ok, when I broke a tooth on one of them when I was 18, my preference changed! I have never had one since. Now prior to breaking the tooth, when I saw them on the shelf, I would think "hmmm, I like it," I grab it. Right after I broke the tooth, when I saw them on the shelf, I thought they shouldn't be there, they are going to break someone else's tooth. Full of aversion. Over the years I have developed more equanimity, after all there are plenty of other things that break people's teeth.
So, preferences can change, and the biggest way they change is if we see Dukkha in our preference. I break a tooth, I have Dukkha, I don't want it any more. And that is the key to a lot of things. When you see Dukkha in your preference, you can turn away from it if you want, if you want to have compassion for yourself you turn away from it. However, what happens for so many people is that, sure they see the Dukkha but they still hold on to the opposite, what is called Sukkha, the happiness, and they won't acknowledge the Dukkha enough. So, then they get more Dukkha later from having that same preference, and they get more and they get more and it just continues in a cycle. What we want to do is have more Compassion for ourselves, and then if we see we have Dukkha coming from a preference, then let's change our preference. Let's reflect on that Dukkha more and then change so that we have more happiness.
Now it can be helpful to be aware of one other word called Wasana, it is a Thai word, I think it might also be a Pali word. Wasana is kind of like preference, but these are things that we are born with based on past lives.
I actually had the Wasana as a kid to like heat. It was just in me. After I finished high school and I had the chance to go to college, I only went south, friends of mine went north, I went south. I went to the heat. Living with Rosemary in Australia was easy, it was hotter there than where I grew up. Coming to Thailand was even easier. It was fine. I have that in me as a Wasana. And it is actually a very beneficial Wasana because it is easy for me to live in Theravadin Buddhist countries. And that is a benefit for me, I am close to the teachers, it is easy for me to stay there.
We have a number of students who have the preference of liking cold. They don't like to come to Thailand. So, they don't get the benefit of coming to Thailand, they don't get the benefit of doing our 20-Day retreat, which we have every 2 years, because it is in the middle of the summer. We have one student who's been with us for 10 years, likes the practice, comes regularly, will not come in the summer. So, they can never come for a 20-Day retreat. So, that Wasana, that type of preference is something that is not beneficial for them.
Something to think about.