Question

I have a seven year old nephew who reacts with very strong aggression and grief when faced with Dukkha. Example, when he doesn't get what he wants, he starts yelling and destroying things, or even tries to beat his mother. When I'm around I have quite mixed feelings, like compassion, anger, grief and fear about being helpless as he doesn't listen when we try to talk to him. What if he gets too big and strong to just hold him. Sometimes his mother even hits him out of feeling helpless and being overwhelmed by anger. How can I help here?

Answer

I think before he gets too big, I would suggest that you get some help for this family. This situation needs help, especially with learning to control or lessen the aggressions of this child, because this child is in danger, and so is his mother. I would suggest that you encourage the family to see some counselors so they can try to help the child and perhaps help the mother in the situation, especially if it's so bad that he starts to hit his mother and his mother can't control the child. They need counseling. Unless the child can learn how to have some control and the mother can learn how to deal with this type of child, it could be that this conditioning will go on and on until such time as an abusive relationship develops and suffering for the child on the way. Learning how to help these people is very difficult, especially if you don't really want to become involved, so if you feel you can't help then it's probably better to turn to people who have some experience in these kinds of situations and then you can get some help.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.