Self-pity is always looking at what we don't have, "I'm not handsome enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not rich enough." It's always looking at what we don't have. So we're actually looking at ourselves, aren't we? We're saying I don't like this person. There we go, self-hatred. It's a shade different to how we normally use self-hatred, "I'm a jerk, I'm a jerk." That's pointing directly at ourselves. Self-pity disguises itself by pointing outward. "I don't have that!" or "I'm not as good as him," or "I'm not as good as her." Self-pity is more pointing outward, but it's still actually saying, "I don't like this who I am." Self-pity is definitely a form of self-hatred.
Self-pity is also perhaps one of the most dangerous states of mind, because you don't go anywhere. You're always thinking about what you don't have. There's no effort to get what you don't have, because you're just thinking about what you don't have. There's a difference here. If you actually think to yourself, "Oh I'm not as healthy as I could be," and you look at some other people who are healthy and strong and you just sit there going, "I'm not healthy as I could be, I'm not healthy," this is self-pity. Yet, the same thought, "I'm not as healthy as I could be," could also motivate somebody to think, "Oh, I should exercise more. I should go for more walks. I should do this, I should eat better, etc." The same thought can start in two different people, "I'm not as healthy as I could be." One person goes into self-pity and doesn't do anything. The other person has that thought, and makes a resolution to start being more physical and training the body again and get healthy. So self-pity comes out of a thought, which itself, the original thought, might not be too bad. But when self-pity arises, there's no energy to change that situation.