Picture a mountain, that's very much like a pyramid, comes up to a nice point, it's a circular cone, inverted cone. Put people every two meters on the mountain in a circle, every two meters going up. It's obvious, the higher you go on the mountain, the fewer people there are. Similarly, The more you develop in the Dhamma, there's fewer people of that level of development. It's just the same sort of principle.
So this person has a group of friends who they see and visit and call a Sangha. Yet they feel none of them have an equal or wiser practice than they have.
What is this person going to do? To a certain extent, we're back to loneliness, but in a different way.
Well, just to acknowledge that the higher we go up the mountain the less people there will be is valuable. Just acknowledging that it will, in a sense, get lonelier, the more we develop may help us not to have such high expectations and accept it more easily.
And it may encourage us to take every opportunity to stay in contact with others who have similar or higher level practice, even if we don't see them every day, or only once a year.
So this person might go to a sitting group once a week, and be surrounded by younger, inexperienced meditators, and they feel that they can't really talk to them on higher levels. OK, in those sitting evening groups, talk on any Dhamma level with them. Their level's lower, but just talk about it. It doesn't matter. Rosemary and I in interviews, do you think we always talk on a higher level? Of course not! We've got to go up and down and up and down, you name it!
So it's good to be experienced with that, to not be always wanting to talk on a higher level. However, it's important that you satisfy that as well, because you've got to keep growing and only by talking with people of equal or higher Dhamma levels are we actually going to grow. So typically you've got to make the effort to communicate with your teachers or other experienced people, but when you're with people who are a lower level of practice, don't get upset with that. Instead, consider, "How can I work with this situation?" One way is to not to be too greedy that you always want people of equal or higher level.
To be able to talk on different levels is actually a skill, it's part of Right Speech. It's very difficult at times, because if we forget the level of the other person or if we don't know the level of the other person, we might say something that's totally inappropriate. Why is it that Rosemary and I restrict this part of the retreat to old students who have done at least two retreats? Because the other people really aren't ready for some of this sort of dialogue, and if they were in the hall here, I wouldn't be able to explain it in the same way. Because I won't talk way over their heads even though that would satisfy the rest of you. Rosemary and I enjoying this type of retreat a lot, that we're able to put out a bit of a higher level Dhamma, and know that the people are able to receive that sort of level, at least the majority of you. That's actually very nice for us. When you're with people of a lower level, remember what level they're at, and take your speech there. It's a skill, it takes practice and it can be quite fun.
Also keep in mind the person who is lower in their practice level to you today, might be higher than you tomorrow. We don't know how quickly some people are going to grow. This is very important. Some people are naturals in any music, any sport, whatever, I remember one little six year old kid I had on the swimming team when I was professional coach. The very first day the father brings him in, he's 6 years old, I exclaim, "Good grief! Who taught him his stroke?" He had a perfect stroke at age 6 years old! The father says, "Well, a lifeguard at another pool." So when I started working with the kid he was just super, he ended up winning everything, he was a natural. I had another girl who was so sloppy she got often got disqualified in the butterfly as her feet would be apart. It took hard work, but eventually she was good enough to place fourth in the championships. But she had to work at it, whereas the other boy was a natural.
Now in the Dhamma, as much as me, Steve, is the teacher today, I don't know what you guys are going to be like in ten years or what I'm going to be like. I try to keep that thought in mind. My second original teacher is no longer a Theravadin Buddhist. When I met this teacher, they knew lots more than me about Theravadin Buddhism. But now the person is not even a Theravadin Buddhist and are into some things which are quite contrary to the practice. So to a certain extent one could say that person was way above me in this practice 27 years ago, and yet now seemingly I'm above them in the practice. So that's really important to keep in mind, not to look down on somebody just because they have a lower level practice at this particular time.