Question

I have difficulty always thinking about how fortunate I am. I have been doing it all of my life. My sister was sick all her life. My brother is a 100% disabled war veteran. My daughter was sexually abused. My son has been fighting melanoma for fifteen years. I have no great misfortune. I'll work on my survivor guilt this retreat. Any suggestions beyond Lovingkindness for myself?

Answer

It would be very helpful to reflect on Kamma. That everybody is the owner of their own Kamma. Sometimes people don't like to do this because of the guilt. However, as we begin to look into our mind we start to see that we are the owner of our own Kamma. So by realizing that we are not responsible for everybody else's Kamma, we develop a bit more Equanimity. Then, instead of using our good fortune to develop feelings of guilt that tend to immobilize us, we can use our good fortune to be of service to ourselves and others. To go further in our mental development so that we can be of more help to others who may be trying to deal with such things as disease, ageing and death.

When we reflect on how fortunate we are, we are not just doing it to entertain ourselves but to give us energy. To then use that energy to work on ourselves and use the power of our good fortune to go further in mental development, so that we can be of more benefit to ourselves and others, so that we can maybe do something about all the suffering in the world. If we can find more understanding of the way out of suffering within ourselves, then we can be of more service to others.

So we're not just reflecting on how fortunate we are just to be happy in the present, which will help us to be more content, but it also to give us more energy to use our good fortune for the benefit of ourselves and others, to understand more clearly the causes of suffering in ourselves and be able to help others who are seeking the way out of suffering.

Because yes, there is disease, there is a lot of Dukkha that sometimes doesn't seem quite fair. Some people seem to be of no harm to others, but they are suffering. And yet there are some people in the world who do bad things, but they seem not to be suffering. However, according to the Buddha everyone is the owner of their own Kamma. "Not in the sky nor in a mountain cave is there any place on earth where one can escape the results of one's own evil deeds." That is a quote from the scriptures from the Buddha. Whether in this life, whether in the next life or any future life.

So the people who are suffering in this world are receiving the results of the seeds that they have sown. If we're going to have Compassion for ourselves now and in the future, and for other beings, we have to be very careful about what we do in the present and be careful and have the courage to deal with whatever Dukkha comes to us.

Now if one has a tendency to fall into guilt, it is helpful to make a resolution to use our good fortune as much as we can for the benefit of ourselves and others. A Dedication of Intention may help here so that we realize that we are not doing our practice just for ourselves but for the benefit of ourselves and all beings.

We do not have power to eliminate ageing, disease and death; this is the nature of human existence. We do not have the power to change this. The only thing we have the power to change is the path we take in our life and how we use the opportunities in our life. And perhaps if we can learn to accept ageing, disease, suffering and Dukkha within ourselves when it comes to us, and direct ourselves inward to a path which ends it rather than thinking that we can try to change the nature of human existence, perhaps we will be able to help others who are trying to find an inner direction as well.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.