One of the biggest ways to grow in any of the Paramis is to remind yourself what happens if you're not growing in those, if you are going backwards. Just ask yourself, "What's going to happen if I do not follow my good resolutions?" Imagine on New Year's Eve - an alcoholic person says, "I don't want to drink alcohol any more," and they stop. So what happens if they do not keep to their resolution, and they drink alcohol again? Dukkha. The person who smokes and wants to stop but doesn't stop, they keep their Dukkha. Any time you make a resolution, we assume that you are making a decision to improve your life. If you do not keep to that resolution what's going to happen? Your life is not going to get improved and you might go backwards. So one significant way to make sure that you follow through with your resolutions is to reflect on the Dukkha that comes from not following through with it.
Now the Parami reflection that I gave the other day, there are five questions in there, do that from time to time. It's not something to do every day, but every so often do it. Ask yourself what is it you can really do to grow in resolution.
Resolution can become addictive. Yes, an addiction, but this time it is positive. When a person makes a resolution and keeps to it, they get a lot of strength. They get so much strength that then it is easier for them to make another resolution in the future. Thus it becomes addictive. A person then takes on a sense of pride, and this is a positive type of pride, that, "I am a person who makes a decision and sticks to it." There's a lot of self worth in this, there's a feeling of contentment, there's the personal strength to actually know that "I am a person who makes a resolution and then sticks to it." So combining that with considering what happens if you don't follow through with the resolution, then that can help encourage you to grow in resolution itself.
Now be careful about trying to accomplish something that is beyond your limit. You've heard me say that in a regular talk. When you're making a resolution be very honest with yourself, be very objective. "Is that something that I really think I can achieve?" There's no need to say that you're going to achieve something and you know it's impossible. So you want to be objective with what you are going to do. If you are objective with smaller resolutions and you follow through with them, and you try more and you follow through with those also, and so on, you build your resolution Parami on smaller resolutions, and then it is easier than to make a stronger one the next time.
But if you try to make a big resolution in the beginning and then you fail, well, it's going to deter you from making another resolution in the future because you are going to have this feeling that you are a failure. This happens to a lot of smokers who try to quit, and a lot of people who are overweight and try to diet. They will do it a little bit, they will quit smoking, they will stay on their diet for a while, they do pretty well. Then they blow it and they hate themselves because they couldn't keep to their resolution. That becomes a problem and then it just becomes a cycle that they feel that they can't do it and therefore they never will make another resolution in the future. Interesting. So rather than doing it that way, try achieving small amounts, making small resolutions. This can prove to be more valuable so then it gives you the energy, the encouragement and the type of positive addiction that, "Yes! I can do better next time, I can do more next time."