It depends on how you are relating to the other people around you. From my experience, recently with my niece, no-one thought I was cold and unemotional, even though I didn't cry because I was too busy trying to be of comfort to those around me. And when I gave her a short eulogy, I asked everybody to have a minute of silence to reflect on her good qualities and talked about how she approached her illness. At that time, people were inspired by that and came up to me afterwards and expressed how it made them feel better. So it really depends on how you manifest your understanding of death reflection. It doesn't mean we have to express ourselves in a cold way or that we have to join in the tears of others. If we are more interested in how we are relating to the people around us, trying to be of comfort to them, they're not going to criticize us at all.
From my understanding, it is the function of spiritual people to help in times of difficulty, and many people will see that strength and they will expect you to help in times of difficulty. I have seen that also in some of our assistants, where big Dukkha hit in the family, the family turned to them because they expected that they knew more about dealing with those situations. The same with the death of my father, I don't think I cried at the funeral, but I didn't criticize others who were crying. In fact, a lot of them actually asked me for answers about why this could happen, and I was trying to be aware of the present, and how to deal with the present effectively, be of comfort to those around me.
So oftentimes by being more aware of the truth of life, we can be able to know what is of more comfort to others, and say appropriate things that may help to ease their suffering. And perhaps that's why my other niece, after her sister's death, was able to approach me and tell me what she felt, so that she didn't feel people were going to judge her for not crying.