Okay, good deeds to depend upon. I think yesterday I mentioned about what can happen at the moment of death and if we've done a lot of good Kamma, if we've done a lot of good deeds in our life then we are going to be happier at the moment of death, we are going to have less regrets. If we've done a lot of negative things then that may come up at the moment of death, we will be swayed, overwhelmed by all of these thoughts of the negative things that we've done and the regret and such. We won't have anything to depend on that will give us more inner peace when we die.
We have told you to use the reflection "How fortunate you are" regularly. Do you believe it? Much of the time you may believe it, how about all of the time? Are there times when you are uncertain? Self-pity wants to attack, right? Okay, when we absolutely know 100% we are fortunate, self-pity won't get in there. When we actually know we've done lots and lots of goodness and we reflect about our abundant goodness lots and lots then we are going to be happy all the time.
I often use an example: You are looking at somebody who's never had alcohol in his life. Now when I was 19, 20, whatever I used to get drunk occasionally. But you are looking at somebody who's never had any alcohol in his life, okay. That's because the person I am identifying with, the person who I am right now has never had alcohol. The person I was 35 years ago, fine, like other normal young men at college I had alcohol occasionally. But that's not who I am. I've done heaps and heaps of goodness in my life in the last 20, 30 years that's who I look at, that's what I reflect upon. If I want to drive myself nuts, I go and reflect on who I was as a teenager. I could reflect on all of the negative things I did but that's not me. Who I am now is somebody who is nice and kind, and all those nice words. Feels good. I take happiness with that.
I don't have the regret. I've gone through all that already. I remembered every little candy bar I've stolen from the store, every last one, and you know, all my friends did it, too. They told me how to do it. So that's what little kids do, little kids. But I am not a little kid anymore. This is what it really means. If you've done lots and lots of goodness and reflect on that goodness, that will give you happiness, that will support you, that will be something you can depend upon at the moment of death.