Right, often we blow up with the little stuff but the big stuff we can handle quite well, we are quite composed. What is going on here? The big stuff brings out more of our goodness. Some people claim that war, famine, major disasters, like a tsunami, etc. often brings out the best in people. Not in everybody of course, but it definitely does stir up some people to change, to become better human beings. Oskar Schindler, of Schindler's List, is a classic example that many of you know about. So when something is very big, blatant in front of us, it is easier to put aside our selfish reactions and see the big picture. We are more able to respond in a compassionate way to heavy Dukkha.
All of you have heard the Day 9 morning talk about what it would be like if I got off the table and started yelling, kicking, screaming and hitting people. It would be very easy for most, if not all of you, to immediately get up, have compassion for me, and try to stop what I'm doing. You wouldn't be upset. But what if I just kind of got under your skin? I tell you that you have a pimple on your nose. Or you didn't comb your hair today. I just do any little annoying thing, and yeah, you wouldn't like that. But somehow if I go totally bonkers, that's all right.
This is our practice. Can you expect Dukkha every time you meet someone? Not only can you, do you? Most people don't. Most people when they meet somebody they expect that they'll be treated nicely by them. That's your right. You are there on the planet to be treated nicely by every other human being, right? No, wrong! We are here on this planet to get what we get. And most other human beings are here on the planet to get what they want. And everybody is trying to fulfill their needs and wants, so they will push around other people regularly. Ok, can we reflect on that? Can we expect it? Can we be ready for it when it comes? And then we're not going to get upset with all the little paper tigers.
So reflect on Dukkha, and if you haven't done it already, do it for a whole hour. We want you to take those Five Reflections, break them apart, and do each one for a whole hour. And do it more than one time. As far as your practice goes, reflect on Dukkha enough so that you are expecting it all the time. A little saying: expect for the worst, hope for the best. It is true, we do hope for the best, but you'd better prepare yourself for the worst because that is also what comes even when you want something better than that.
Reflect that people will get under your skin, if you allow them. It's as simple as that, isn't it? If you allow them. If you're not worried that your hair is not combed, then how can that get under your skin, if somebody says, "Hey, your hair is not combed!" If you're content with yourself, all that won't matter so much. Your compassion has to grow though for the other people. It's all a combination here. Learning to be content with yourself, and having compassion for the others.
We have to remind ourselves over and over that there are plenty of people who are irritating, in the sense that that's their nature. Why are they doing it? Why would anybody come up here and say, "Hey, your hair is not combed"? Why would somebody do that? I personally wouldn't do that, unless I'm going out to some fancy event, and I'm helping the person next to me get ready. Generally, I'm not going to pick on people. But why do people pick on others in little ways? Because they have a problem inside themselves. They are not feeling secure inside themselves. They are feeling inferior, they want to kick somebody else down. Can you open your heart for them? Can you have compassion for them? This is where we want to open up our hearts.
So many people don't open to others because they feel that person should not do that to "me." Me, me, me. Protecting me all the time. So let's think about them for a while. And if we think about them and that they have a problem, then we don't take it so personally either. Somebody wants to pick on you? Okay, they are in a bad mood. Stop, step back, watch them interact with somebody else. Are they going to do the same thing to the next person? Usually, yes. And they continue that train of thought, because that's their state of mind. It's their day to pick on people. Can you open with compassion to them, realizing it's nothing personal?
Expect Dukkha, expect it, over and over, it will come whether you like it or not. The Buddha got picked on, too. If you didn't know, read some biographies about the Buddha. He definitely got picked on. A Brahmin priest didn't like him, and a lot of other spiritual teachers didn't like him. His own cousin hated him so much that he tried to kill him three times. So the Buddha got picked on. Of course we will get picked on. But can you be ready for it? And can you open your heart for a person picking on you in their little ways? Realizing that they have a problem in there, and we don't have to create a new problem?
So now back on that taxi driver business. If they are greedy, that's their problem. If we get angry, that's our problem. Can we always expect the drivers to be greedy? It's not just on Koh Phangan island, it happened in New York City to me three times in 36 hours. I'm an American, and they are picking on me! But you know, I didn't speak the local accent. They knew I wasn't from New York. They knew I was a tourist. They knew I was fresh to the city. They knew I could be tested to see if they could rip me off in some way. And they tried three times in 36 hours. It is always our reaction to people, which is the key to our inner happiness. No matter which way you a look at things. And in the sense of the little things getting under our skin, can you open your heart for those people doing the irritating things, and also expect them to happen? Then the little stuff won't bother you so much.