Compassion for ourselves is the key. Most of the time people have aversion, thinking somehow it's going to solve something. They have the view that thinking in this way, and having it towards others, is solving the situation, because "they are the cause of my problem" or "What they are doing is the cause of my problem." This wrong view fuels the aversion. We become aware that aversion is painful, so we have to get rid of it in some way. Usually, the normal response is to throw it at that person, to try to get rid of this stress that we feel inside ourselves, but that only sows a cause for it to arise again. So it keeps on arising and passing, and arising and passing, and keeps coming and coming and coming. We have to understand the true cause of our Dukkha is ignorance of the Law of Cause and Effect. If we understand this more, then this ignites that Compassion for ourselves. By seeing mindfully that aversion is present, seeing its result, feeling it, opening to our suffering, then Compassion can arise for ourselves.
It's very common, that after we practice Compassion and Lovingkindness, we often forget ourselves. We think we have to give Compassion for the other person because we're having aversion for them. But aversion causes Dukkha for ourselves. So we need to have compassion for ourselves first before we can have compassion for them.
Detecting aversion sooner depends on increasing the power of our awareness throughout the day. The more we are aware of the body and what we're doing, the more aware we will become of our thoughts. Then we will be more aware of how we are reacting to the senses and other people.
We have to build the power of our awareness. One way to do this is to try to increase our body awareness throughout the day by putting more effort into our special mindfulness activities, learning how to integrate our formal practice into our normal life. This mindfulness is the basis for understanding a lot of other things. That's why the Four Foundations of Mindfulness is so revolutionary. When we found this little Wheel publication booklet of the Satipattana Sutta, it was like finding gold. This is the way out. Mindfulness of the Body, Mindfulness of Vedana (feeling), Mindfulness of States of Mind, and Mindfulness of Mind Objects.
Mindfulness of the body helps us be more aware in the present. A lot of the people are not here. They're in the past, the future, going round and round. Mindfulness of the body helps us to be more present.
We become more aware of the Hindrances arising in the mind, because we're trying to be more present and focused, so we become more aware of what takes our attention away from this focus.
It all has to be supported by Right View, because Right View is like the legs of a table. All our thoughts and how we react is like everything on top of the table. We can organize it all and organize it all, but if the legs are weak, eventually the table is going to collapse. So Right View comes first.
With Compassion for ourselves, unless we know the true cause of our Dukkha, we can't end it. We'll always be blaming everybody else for our own problems, and we'll never get to Right View. Compassion for ourselves acknowledges the Four Noble Truths, and the true cause of suffering.
So strengthening our understanding of the Four Noble Truths through Wise Reflection, and developing more awareness throughout our day is very helpful for bringing up Compassion to ourselves, because we're more aware. We're more aware of our Dukkha. We're more aware of where it comes from, and we're more aware of how to end it.