We were standing with one of our students and her boyfriend. He had never done a retreat with us but he had practiced with some other teachers and they had both basically been meditators for many years. Somehow the topic came up about of the eight worldly conditions - the eight worldly dhammas, which we talk more about later in this retreat - and the fella started saying, "Oh yeah, yeah, I know all about that blah, blah, blah." His girlfriend turned to him and said, "Well, what do you know about it?" He was stuck. He didn't really even know what the eight were. I was just watching this. I recognized that he was just "blah, blah, blah," you know, but it was interesting for his own girlfriend to turn on him in that way and ask him. Now, I will say they hadn't been together that long, so maybe they're not together anymore. But questions to ask people to prove what their practice is can be very interesting. Where is their practice really coming from?
Asking if they know the Ten Paramis is a starting point. Our practice here is not focused on mindfulness and is not focused on concentration. Yes, they are tools we use, but for what reason? To develop the Paramis. To develop Compassion/Lovingkindness, Wisdom, Generosity. To develop these, that's our focus. Ask these other people if they actually know what the Ten Paramis are. Chances are that a lot of them won't, because their teachers don't teach it.
A lot of teachers in Theravadin Buddhism, teaching Vipassana, are stuck in mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness. We heard it many times in the early years. One fella was asking a Thai teacher a particular question. The teacher simply said to him, "You don't have enough mindfulness. With more mindfulness, that will be fixed." We personally asked another teacher who had a little more understanding a similar question. The teacher said, "You don't have enough Compassion for yourself." Interesting. How do they answer you? If they come back with the set answers of "mindfulness, mindfulness," then you might start doubting that it's the same practice as what we have here. But if they start talking about something that makes you feel warm and opens your heart, that's a little nicer.
Now, if it's the Paramis that you want to ask them about, ask them simply, what they feel the importance of Compassion is in the practice. That's a standard question I'll ask any teacher just to test their knowledge. Where are they coming from if they don't understand Compassion very well? I'm not going to stay there. I've personally heard one teacher say and read that another teacher has written, "You don't have to practice compassion; it will come naturally later." I don't know where they get that from. It's not going to come naturally for anyone. You're going to have to train it. It's just like anything else. It needs training. It needs training. Buddhism says people who were born with a lot of Compassion developed it in past lives. It's not something that automatically comes later, and these teachers were referring to the idea that if they did enough mindfulness training and enough concentration training, then Compassion and Wisdom and everything else will come later. It doesn't say that anywhere in the scriptures and it doesn't work that way. So ask them about the importance of Compassion.
You can ask them about the eight worldly dhammas. A lot of teachers don't know the eight worldly dhammas. In particular, they don't know the opposite of fame. Fame means we want attention, we want to be the center of attention. Anything will do: the dog, you walk past the dog and you want the dog to look at you so you can pet it and you feel you're alive. You feel something recognized you as a human being, or as a being. So that's fame. Obscurity is the opposite: the dog doesn't look at you, nobody looks at you, nobody cares about you. You're walking along and even the birds won't take any notice. It's like you're totally obscure. That's the opposite of fame. Almost every time I've read about the 8 worldly dhammas, many teachers, a dozen or more teachers, do not know the opposite of fame correctly. Interesting.
So, ask the teacher about the Ten Paramis, ask them about Compassion, ask them about the eight worldly dhammas. See if they're actually practicing something similar to you. Strangely enough, once, when I didn't know very much about the Zen practice and was getting confused with what was being discussed, I asked a Zen practitioner who seemed intelligent, "In your practice, in your tradition, don't you have the Four Noble Truths?" because they were talking as if they had nothing to do with it. He said, oh sure, but they're a minor practice. He could have knocked me over with a feather. I didn't want to talk to that guy anymore. That was enough. If he's going to treat the Four Noble Truths as a minor practice that isn't important to even know about, I didn't want to be anywhere near that person. Now granted, that was then, and hopefully no Theravadin Buddhist will ever say that about the Four Noble Truths. But you'll be surprised at how many times Theravadin Vipassana teachers will say something that you really don't want anything to do with. So it's better to find another teacher.