The loss of praise and fame that accompanies the ending of relationships. With the ending of relationships, there are two different ways that they end, right? You're happy it's over or you're unhappy it's over. That has a great deal of impact on whether we're worried about the loss of praise and fame. If we're actually happy that it's over, then we don't mind losing that praise and fame at all, so that loss would not be an issue. The other way a relationship can end is that you're unhappy. You didn't want the relationship to be over, and, all of a sudden, you've lost the number one person who praised you and who gave you fame.
Before you get into a relationship, and as often as you possibly can during that relationship, reflect that it may end. That's not even good enough. Reflect that it will end. It will end. We're going to die, right? That's definitely the end. Even a perfect relationship, a 70-year marriage, ends. They all end, but, as all of you probably know, the statistics show that 50% of all marriages are ending in divorce. And that's only the marriages that end in divorce. How many different relationships did people have with people they didn't get married to which also ended up splitting? Maybe if we're even conservative in our estimate, we might think that every time a couple gets together and stays together for at least a few months for a decent relationship to establish, 10% might end in marriage, just as a general rule. Let's say people have 9 or 10 boyfriends/girlfriend before they marry one. So maybe only 10% get married, then out of the 10% only half stay married.
The minute you like somebody, the minute you start going together, you only have a 5% chance of staying together for life. Boy, those aren't good odds, are they? Yet people start relationships all the time. They still want another and another and another. So it's important to reflect beforehand and to reflect during the relationship that it's going to end. The relationship is going to end. It would be lovely if everyone could meet their perfect match, their soul mate, the first time, have a 70-year marriage, and die peaceful and happy. It would be great, but it just doesn't happen.
So if you want to avoid Dukkha, in this case the loss of praise and fame, you have to reflect on it. You have to reflect that it is going to come. It is going to come. Now, in the case of those few people - the 5% who do get to marry and be happy "forever" - even inside those relationships there are times when you're not getting enough fame from your partner, you're not getting enough praise from your partner. You want more. Again, we still have to work with that, too, because that's a short-term loss. We're losing it for a little while, so, again, we have to reflect that it comes and goes. On top of all this, the whole practice is to develop more contentment in ourselves. If we're content in ourselves, we don't need the praise of others. We don't need to be famous in the eyes of others. The more content we are, the less we get upset by the loss of praise and fame.