Question

Do you have any advice for bringing up children with Right View, that will help them in later life to find more peace without expecting them to become Dhamma practitioners? For example still allowing them to be the willful people they are, testing their limits and having their natural rebellious stages.

Answer

The most important thing you can do if you have children if you have nephews and nieces, or if you help bring up children, the most important thing that you can do to help that child develop some Right View is for you to be an example for that child. Children learn from examples, it's as simple as that.

If you develop more Right View within yourself, if you are exemplifying that in your speech and in your actions, remember, the child is going to be watching you. The child likes to imitate adults because that's how they learn. That's how we learn anything, right?

If we are going to learn the piano, we have to watch somebody who can show us where the right keys are. They have to show us, then we do it. We copy. We train by copying. Children train and learn by copying. We go to school, we learn how to speak, write and read, do mathematics and everything else. It's always because we see it first then we copy it.

So if you want to help a child develop Right View, try to be an example for that child.

Specifically, there is the ability to teach small children little bits of meditation to help them in their own life. They don't have a very long concentration time span depending on their age. A little three year old for example can sit down, maybe look at a little flower or candle flame, think some nice thoughts that you tell them what to think, two or three minutes, five minutes max. Then they are up and they want to go, but they can actually do it. It's possible for a child as young as a three, to sit down for a few minutes and do some calming type meditation. Some nice Compassion/Lovingkindness type meditation, it's possible to do that.

As the child grows up, it's possible to teach them how to be more mindful, in the context of being more careful, trying not to make mistakes. You can also make games with kids. Like teaching them how to enjoy eating an apple, to be as mindful as possible eating an apple. There are lots of ways that an adult can bring more mindfulness into the child's life, so that the child is simply more careful. The child does not think they are going to become enlightened from it, but because they can actually enjoy the apple more, because they are tasting the apple instead of just eating it. Because they are thinking about what they are doing in the present moment, and not where they are going to go and run and play in the next half hour. So they can start to become mindful.

The ability to be more present is something that can be trained with little kids. The ability to do a little bit of meditation, be a little calmer, the ability to train some nice thinking thoughts, can be done. Parts of what we do here at Wat Kow Tahm, the meditation practice, can also be taught to children depending on their age.

As to the wisdom aspects, teaching death reflection and so on, that's more difficult and depends a lot on the relationship the parent has with the child and how mature the child is.

Now also bringing up a child with Right View, a parent wants to be careful with what they expose the child to. How much is that TV turned on for the child? What sort of friends do they associate with? Even, where do they live? What's their neighborhood like? A parent has to make a lot of choices if they want to help their child. They need to consider the environment the child will be in, what are they exposing the child to. These are some questions for the parents to consider.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.