Question

Of the Ten Paramis, Renunciation is the most easily forgotten for me. Please give advice on developing this quality.

Answer

Perhaps that's why Steve often will put Renunciation twice in the Ten Paramis. I don't know whether he told you that story, did he? During one 10 day retreat he told someone about the Paramis and they got very excited about it and then later wrote a note saying, "I think that these Paramis are a really good idea. Would you please write them down for me". So Steve wrote them down. And then in the next interview Steve had with this person the retreatant says, "Boy, you really know what I need". Apparently, instead of writing Resolution, Steve had written Renunciation again!

Yes, we often forget about Renunciation because it's not the most pleasant of all the Paramis, I believe. Giving up our comforts! The idea of giving up comforts may not be attractive to us at all. It's very helpful but not attractive.

So perhaps what you need to do, in order to help overcome any resistance towards remembering Renunciation is to reflect on when you were able to give up something and how you felt at that time, when you didn't need it anymore. Then you start to see the happiness that can come from Renunciation and the good feeling when we are able to give up something that we used to think was very important or that we thought we need. There is also a feeling of freedom to not need something anymore and learning how to appreciate our growth in that area. This helps us see the happiness of Renunciation and the feeling of freedom from craving, so it is good if we can try to remember those occasions.

I find the more Compassion increases, renunciation becomes easier. So perhaps strengthen the Compassion/Lovingkindness Parami and you may find that Renunciation doesn't seem so difficult to remember. It's all about letting go. Renunciation. But it's such a big word, it seems so ominous!

By reflecting on the joy that can come from it, it may not seem so difficult. Or even this word may not take on such a negative meaning to ourselves, even unconsciously. We can more equate it with freedom. It's all about changing our view, from one that believes happiness comes from gaining or getting to understanding that a greater happiness comes from giving. Transferring our happiness from the worldly happiness to the spiritual happiness.

The analogy I used the last time I was here was about giving up the tricycle for the bicycle. Now when we are 6 and we are offered the bicycle, often we want to keep our tricycle, we don't want to give it up. However, once we can ride the bike, do we want to keep the tricycle? Yet before we know how good the bicycle is, it seems impossible to give up what we had.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.