This ties in with the earlier question. Yes, if we have increasing decay and disease and haven't developed the mind capacities to deal with it, then there is a great deal of loss, a great deal of suffering, without the capacity to deal with the increased unpleasant feelings. With all of these health problems, there is decreased ability to enjoy worldly happiness. So not only is there a loss of health, but there is a loss of capacity to enjoy sense contacts.
When we are confronted with loss, we may get depressed and think life is no longer worth living, because we haven't experienced any other form of happiness. Without this experience, it is hard to see the opportunities that these situations present to us.
Oftentimes, if there is a lack of spiritual practice, there is also the view that fuels the idea of wanting to end suffering by killing oneself. This view is supported by the view that death is the end of it all and then the ending of suffering. But if we look at death, all we can truthfully say is we don't know what happens. But unfortunately the materialistic world has helped to condition people to believe that death is the end of it all and they reject all religious ideas about an after life. Not realizing that this view, that death is the end of suffering, is also a belief and they don't really know either. This is really just wishful thinking that, "I will end my suffering by killing myself," but again, that is just a belief as much as any other religious belief.
So because of a wrong view people think that, "this suffering is too much, I want to end it." And so they want non-existence, this is the craving for non-existence.
With regards to speaking to others, especially non-Buddhists, it depends on whether they are open or not. I remember Steve and I were talking with one of our relatives some time ago and this person was a scientist. They believed in the theory of cause and effect and were interested in the Buddhist idea of Kamma. They had been born Catholic and were open to religious ideas, so we started to discuss it. However another relative was present and started getting very agitated while we were talking about this. They kept cutting in and said, "It's obvious, you die when you die, that's it". At that point there was no capacity for us to actually discuss the issue because this person had a very definite idea about it. However the other relative was open to discussion.
Whether you can help that person in that situation depends on the abilities and the openness of the person. Sometimes, by showing your caring, your love and getting them talking about some of the nice things that they have done in their life, may get their mind off their physical suffering and their depression. This may help them be able to remember that there are other things beside their physical suffering. Maybe they need more care and attention at these times. By showing that care and attention, perhaps trying outings and things, maybe they will get a little bit more interested in living, despite their handicaps and physical problems.
Sometimes people talk like this because they are seeking compassion from somebody. Maybe they don't actually mean what they are saying, but it is a cry for help. One way that we can respond, is by acknowledging it as a cry for help and seeing that they maybe getting into a bit of self-pity but they are actually showing they are having problems dealing with life. However, if you can show your compassion, show that you care, perhaps that is all they are seeking at that time. Maybe you can help them have a fun time, a pleasant worldly time, they might feel a little uplifted and that it's worth being there. But I said, it really does depend on how much the person is open.
As far as the Buddhist view, it certainly is wrong view and we don't encourage wrong view in Buddhism neither do we encourage the belief that you can end Dukkha by killing yourself. Perhaps also, this lady needs some confidence in herself by reminding her of her strengths. By recalling her strengths and good qualities, she will have more believe in herself and her capacity to deal with the increasing problems and challenges of the physical difficulties. Sometimes the more a person is appreciated and their cries of help are responded to with a bit of attention from those people supporting them, it can encourage them. Rather than the caregiver pulling back because they think the person is negative, then they may feel valued and this often lifts the mood of the depressed person, and when they are in a better mood, perhaps that also helps their health as well.
Sometimes if they have a lot of physical problems and they are on a lot of medication, it can be good to review the combination of drugs that they are taking. Often there can be additional problems caused through the interactions of the different types of medication. I know that last season Mae Chee Ahmon had a lot of health problems, however she went to a different doctor who changed her medication and now she is a lot happier and her health is better.
We also have an old student in Germany whose father was in a very similar position where he was in a hospital and the son went over and looked into his medication, had his medication changed, he started to get better. So perhaps you need to look into what the doctor is doing and you may need to change her doctor.
Certainly never encourage anybody with thoughts directed towards killing themselves.