Question

Please advise how often we should use guided meditations, how to judge if we are balanced. Can one do too much forgiveness?

Answer

Similar to Sympathetic Joy meditation you can't do Forgiveness meditation as often as you can do Compassion/Lovingkindness. Compassion/Lovingkindness can be done every day, every day, every day, you can do it twice a day. It is not a problem, you can do it regularly. The breath awareness you can do regularly, that is no problem at all. But some of the other reflections cannot be used as often such as Sympathetic Joy, as there are not so many people on the planet that we can do Sympathetic Joy for. We can do Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation for everyone but not Sympathetic Joy for everyone. So you have a limited amount of people and therefore you actually can't do it every day. Forgiveness meditation is something that is a little tied to Compassion/Lovingkindness but it really involves people who have harmed us or have harmed our loved ones in some way. So again, it is a limited amount of people we can direct our meditation towards.

Now with the other reflections, like death reflection, you don't want to do it every day, twice a day, it is too much. Dukkha reflection twice a day, it is too much. Impermanence, as well, these are reflections to sober your mind, to bring you down to earth. Dukkha, death and impermanence, you don't want to do them every single day over and over, because they get you too heavy. You have to balance them. We are talking about balance here, what are some ways to balance the heavy reflections? The reflections that bring more confidence and joy, like Sympathetic Joy is one, how fortunate you are is another, reflecting on your good past Kamma is another, reflection on the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha are more, these are reflections that help stimulate more joy. So if you are using death, Dukkha and impermanence reflections too much, you may feel a bit depressed. Swing over and do the more confidence inspiring, light type of meditations.

Now, something like how fortunate you are, when I say "do it every morning when you wake up", yes, do a short form regularly. Every morning when you wake up, throughout the day sometimes, remind yourself of it. But to do a long form of how fortunate you are, you don't have to do it that often hopefully, because after a while you realize the same things you are fortunate for, and if you believe it - there is a little catch here - if you believe it, you don't have to do the reflections that often, because it will become part of you throughout the day. If you don't believe it, you have to do it more often. If you get down to the dumps and you think life is not treating you so nice, get the how fortunate reflection in there. But if you actually have it as a solid base in your practice, you won't have to do it so much, because it will be with you all the time, you are going to know you are fortunate.

In this way the balancing act is like tuning a string instrument. A guitar has 6 strings, some have 12, maybe they have invented fancier ones, a piano has over 200 strings. Try tuning a piano. A guitar was hard enough for me, it really was. I learned to play the guitar and eventually I learned how to tune it. That was a guitar with only 6 strings. But what about a piano with over 200? Now, that is hard, but that is easy compared to the strings we have inside, which might be a 2,000 or 2,000,000! We have a lot more strings inside. So the balancing is all part of the practice.

If you find yourself getting down in the dumps, bring up reflections that are lightening ones. If you find yourself getting too high, carried away, thinking everything is great, time to bring in death and Dukkha a bit. These are ways to balance. With Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, if you focus on the Compassion side too much it becomes heavy, if you focus on the Lovingkindness side too much, it gets too light. There is a balance in there, too. So, this is important, finding a balance.

Our apologies if there are any errors in the above text. If anything seems to be wrong or confusing in any way, please feel free to contact the teachers for further clarification.