Often the reason people avoid visiting the injured, sick or dying is because they have not actually opened to the fact that they may also become injured, sick and ultimately die. When confronted with people who are experiencing the human condition of aging, sickness, disease or death often these people become afraid and in that fear they don't want to be there and don't know what to say.
When we go and visit people who are ill or injured, dying and such, we actually don't have to say that much, but being with them is something that is not often given, just that time to go and visit, the time to sit with them. Let them talk, you don't have to say anything. Ask them about their life, in particular, when someone is dying, we always encourage ask them about good things they have done. Try to stimulate their own thoughts of having Sympathetic Joy with their own good actions.
If you know something in particular, as an example my mother, she did 20 years of charity work, once a week four hours a week, every week for 20 years. She rarely missed a single week. She was always happy about that. When she was dying in the last few years, she lost her mind, but when we mentioned her charity work, she would perk up, she would smile, she would feel happy. So if you know something about the person, if you know some of their goodness in particular, try to bring it up. If you see them getting depressed, remind them of their good actions. Encouraging a cancer patient or someone who is dying to remember their good past actions is very beneficial and comforting.
The biggest factor that will allow you to actually want to go and visit people is that you have come to terms with the fact that you are going to die, you are going to get injured, ill and so on. And that it could happen to anybody. Something else that also helps especially with relatives is to remember them when they were not ill, remember things they did for you, especially for parents. When I visited my parents, in the last few years, there wasn't so much interaction going on, more of a matter of me repaying them for what they had done. My mother in particular, I'm not even sure about my last visit, if she even knew I was there. Her mind was gone. But the fact was I could remember her from when her mind was not gone, and that is what I was there for. To remember who the person was before that illness, before that stage in their life came. That also encourages you to go to visit.
So in specific as to suggestions on what to say and all, allow them to do most of the talking but encourage them to talk about the good things that they have done, and if you know them to mention how you feel, "Oh, it was so nice that you did that charity work, so nice that you did this, etc." Try to keep their mind centered around beneficial thoughts, because quite frankly for people who have not trained their mind, getting old, getting injured, going to die, is very depressing, and their mind will go towards depression. You might be able to help them come out of it a little bit.