We have to set some sort of rules. We don't want to be idealistic about the rules, and yet we do need a bit of idealism to push ourselves in the direction we want to go. If we had no idea of where we are heading, then we basically don't head anywhere. Unless we have an idea of how it would be like to be free of Dukkha, what it would be like to be free of anger, free of greed, free of delusion and so on, unless we had this ideal, then we actually won't work towards doing it, we won't work towards getting there. So we actually do need a bit of idealism in the our direction.
Sometimes we need to bring in rules for ourselves, we need to bring in guidelines, let's say resolutions, it is one of the Paramis, right? To make a resolution of where we want to go, how we want to do it. Take a person who is caught up with alcohol and wants to stop has an ideal. "I want to stop being an alcoholic, I want to stop totally, I want to be free from that, I know there is more happiness that way". So they have an ideal. Then they have to bring in certain rules to their lifestyle to make sure they can follow through with that ideal. We are talking about resolution, we are talking about determination, we are talking about bringing in energy to follow through with the rule or the determined resolution that we have made. So there is a very important aspect of making rules for ourselves. For a person who has quit alcohol, one of the number one rules is that you don't go into a bar. It is very simple, and they must stick to that rule, they must stick to it very strongly. So they have an ideal, they make a resolution and they stick to it, there is nothing wrong with that sort of action regarding setting up rules.
Now if it is unbalanced expectations, if it is really something that is too idealistic, then we are going to run into trouble, we are going to run into all sorts of troubles. If you are too idealistic and you won't be able to follow through with those rules and guidelines that you make, then it is just not going to work, you are going to have more Dukkha in the whole situation, you are going to end up with self hatred, doubt and so on. So be realistic with your ideals. Set your goals a bit in front of yourself. You may have an ideal of something way in front of you, well, we all do, right? Enlightenment is way in front of all of us. But that is not probably going to happen tonight. So today your resolution may be, can you let go of every angry thought that comes into your mind today? That would be nice. That is a very realistic goal that you can set yourself today. Can you let go of every single angry thought that is going to come up in your mind during the next 12 months? Uh, that is a bit harder. You may not be able to achieve that but today you can do it, or at least you can try to do it and see how well you achieve it.
To be realistic with your ideals is very important, then it won't be an unbalanced expectation which will hinder your development.