Sometimes it is impossible and it is just absolutely impossible. To maintain our own equanimity when a lot of people around us are off in their emotions regarding the same situation, and they are all going in the same direction with their emotions, and they see that you are not going there, yes, they are not going to like it, they are not going to feel comfortable with you and you are going to feel you are being judged, and yes indeed, you are being judged by those people.
But that is okay, if you know equanimity is an appropriate, wise reaction at that time. Now you have to be careful that you don't turn off friends and family by being equanimity to the extent that you are going to be indifferent. You really have to be careful there. To understand how other people are going through something. To have compassion for their problems.
Say we have a situation, we have a lot of people reacting to a situation, you are one of them. You react to the situation with equanimity, these people are not reacting with equanimity, they may have grief or something, they don't feel comfortable that you are not sharing their grief. You have equanimity towards a situation, but what about the people? What is your relationship to the people? This is something different. Can you have compassion to the people? Can you identify more with what they are going through? Can you express that compassion to them, so they don't feel you are so cold just because your reactions to the same situation is different to theirs. This is interesting.
Every situation that you experience with another person involves a reaction to the situation and reactions to each other. This is important, you may have equanimity towards a situation, if you reflected on death a lot, and a loved one dies, you are going to have more equanimity than the other friends and family members it is just natural for anyone who has reflected on death more. In addition a person with strong religious beliefs such as a Christian who believes in God may reflect, "Well, this is God's will, this is want God wants, then it is okay and I accept what has happened". They may develop a type of equanimity in that situation. It may not be based in wisdom as we are trying to develop, but still it gives them a certain amount of equanimity. But a Christian or others who have equanimity and is around others who have a lot of grief, needs to express their compassion to the people full of grief, even though they have equanimity towards the situation causing the grief.
This is something to keep in mind, that even though you may have equanimity towards that situation, be careful that this does not overflow towards the other people around you, who actually need your help at that time, or at least could use your help at that time.