I like to get away from the word "meditation" with a lot of people if I can and get more to the fact that what we are doing is developing our mind in a beneficial way. We do practice what we call formal meditation, but we also practice in everyday life. I try to show them that we are trying to be more calm, more compassionate. We are trying to let go of anger, let go of fear, and that we are really trying to be a more kind, loving being. That's the type of meditation we practice.
I also hesitate on giving too much information to people in the beginning, because in the West generally most people don't feel comfortable being around someone who meditates, especially a Buddhist. We are talking about the West, which is basically a Judao/Christian society. Buddhism is a very small minority. For a lot of people in the West, Buddhism is a bit threatening. Many in the West believe that the "King of Buddhism" is the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama is an important person in Buddhism, but actually he is the leader of the smallest group of the four basic divisions of Buddhism which are: Theravadin, Tibetan, Chinese, and Zen. So a lot of people are confused with their understanding of Buddhism, and in the confusion that they have, sometimes there is a bit of fear.
So I am hesitant. I don't say much in the very beginning, because I want to make sure that they actually have the interest. In the early years, the early year, I should say, I learned pretty quickly, but I made similar mistakes that many brand-new meditators make. You know, "do it, do it, do it!" - yeah. We bought little Wheel Publications pamphlet books like our "Wise Reflection" pamphlet book that we sell. They're made by a publisher in Sri Lanka: Wheel Publications, Buddhist Publications Society. We found some really neat ones on Death, and on Compassion/Lovingkindness, and on Dukkha; and we thought, "Great let's give those to our relatives, they need it". And we blew it. We made mistakes. That's why I give this teaching in the regular retreat so that, hopefully, others will not make the same mistakes.
Nowadays we are very reserved, we don't say very much, and we try to make sure that they really want it. And even then we only give a little bit at a time, because by-in-large they don't really want it. So we might be wasting time. Occasionally their intention is to get some information that they can try to twist, so that they can argue with you. I am sure that some of you have had experience with some of those kind of people whom you have to be careful with, if you try to explain Buddhism in the West.