OK, your mental states are conditional. You have to always remember this. Your mental states are conditional. When you hang around good, nice people, that's going to encourage you in good, nice ways; and you are often going to have good, nice mental states when hanging around good, nice people. You hang around people that are not so good, your mental states will often go the other way.
So to consider they are always conditional. If this particular person is actually experiencing the fruits of their conditioning at the present time - good! - then they have to keep their conditioning going. Though, as I have been mentioning before with putting more good Kamma into the bank account, if you want more pleasant mental states in the future, you have to sow the conditions for them to arise. They are arising today, because of conditions in the past. For pleasant mental states to come again in the future, you have to make sure the conditions stay good in the present.
Now, how not to drift into pride? To be very, very aware - to be very, very, very aware - to be very, very, very, very aware - that spiritual pride is spiritual suicide. If you get a big head over your basic meditation practice, your little achievements, whatever they are, your little insights, whatever, you start thinking you are better than somebody else; then you are going backwards at that moment, if you develop the pride that this person is talking about.
Now, there are two different types of pride, but this person is talking about the negative type of pride, thoughts such as, "I am a good meditator! Oh, I can get good mental states." For those of you who have the 20 Suttas, I hope you have read the Dung Beetle Sutta. For those of you who don't have the 20 Suttas, send me an e-mail after this retreat, and be sure to read the Dung Beetle Sutta. It knocks this negative type of pride smack in the face. And that's what you have to do with it, because that type of pride is spiritual suicide.
Now, to have a type of pride that you are a good meditator, that you are developing into a good person, that you want to hang around good people - that's OK. But the minute you start to puff yourself up as being a great meditator and think, "I have so many nice states," and you get that type of pride, that's taking you backwards.
Now, what to do when they pass? And not to have grief or loss at their passing? It's all conditional. Mental states are conditional. They arise, they exist for awhile, and they pass away. The sun came up this morning. What do you think, is it within anybody's power to keep that sun shining all day? All night? Tomorrow? The next day? For five days in a row? Is it wise to think, "I am going to keep the sun shining"? No, it's totally impossible. The sun comes up, it exists for awhile, and it goes away. Our mental states come up, they exist for awhile, and they go away. You have to remember this.
In the regular retreat I talked about the shirt that gets dirty, stained, whatever. That's just a shirt. Some people keep becoming upset when this happens. Other people go, "Ok, yeah I had that shirt for four years. Now it's dirty. I cannot use it anymore. Fine," and they accept it.
We have to be more careful with our mental states. The trouble with a lot of these mental states is that, back to the pride business, if we are attaching to them and thinking, "Wow! Now I am a great meditator having all these great states;" then there will be a heck of a lot of grief that arises when they disappear. This is because all of a sudden the mental state that arises with thoughts of "'me' being a great meditator," disappeared.
Now, in many ways I am an ordinary person just like anybody else. Treat yourself as being more ordinary, even when those thoughts come up, and then you will not be so upset when they go away.
Self-condemnation at their passing? It is not considered beneficial to start hating yourself because the pleasant mental states have passed, meaning you think your a failure. Just try to keep in mind again that: it's all conditional. Your mental states, even the nicest mental states that come up, they will have a certain lifespan. They will all end at some point.
So as to hating yourself when the pleasant mental states end; you know, you might start to hate your shirt when you open the closet and you realize the moths have eaten half of it. But it just happens, it is part of life. Try to be more realistic, try to be more open to the reality of life, not to what you think life should be, but to the reality of life. It can help stop that self-condemnation.