To give advice to people who don't want it, is always taking a risk. So giving unsolicited, or not wanted advice, may prove beneficial on occasion, and often prove unbeneficial on other occasions. Like in the example that we give in the regular retreat, of the mediator going home telling everyone, "Come on. Do it, do it, do it! You got to do it, do it, do it, go on a retreat!", and then if people don't want their advice, they're going to create a bigger problem instead. You have to be careful when people actually don't want your advice.
As to situations when, it seems, people would like to have advice and guidance, for me personally, if they are brand new people, not one of our students, I am very hesitant. In particular, I am very slow to give people advice in the West. I am very slow because I have seen so often people would ask me a question about meditation, and it seems like they're interested in learning, but no, that is not the case. They often ask me questions in order to actually find a hole in what I am saying, so they can speak negatively about it. What I have also found is another group of people who would like to talk a lot about it and say things like, "Oh, very interesting, very interesting. Oh, I'd like to have a book, I'd like to do a retreat, I'd like to do this, I'd like to do that", and then nothing comes of it.
This happened with a relative of mine. I spent almost two hours once, at some family occasion, talking with this relative who is also a psychologist. We have lots of psychologists among our students, they are often very interested, because a lot of it is similar to their Psychology background. This relative was super keen to talk about meditation, super keen to discuss it, and said they would get in touch with me later... and that was about ten years ago. I have never seen that relative since. So I'm hesitant because I recognize that most people actually don't want my advice and guidance.
However, if a person really does want your help - fine! Take it a little slow and find out if they're actually determined, keen and they really want it. Now, there may come a point, where you think to yourself, "Hey wait a minute, this person really doesn't want to go further."
For example, one of our students was approached by someone who had noticed that the student had changed and grown during a retreat here. The other person became very interested. They said our student, "How did it happen?" and so on. And our student told them a bit, the person became interested and went off and did a retreat -- somewhere else. They came back and found they were not getting the same results as our student has. They chatted a bit with them again and then went to do another retreat -- not with us. They did two, three, I do not know how many retreats with other teachers. They wanted the same results that our student had received from us, but all the time they kept asking our students for more guidance, for more help, and as much as our student said, "Why don't you go practice with Steve and Rosemary?", they still have never been here. Now, that doesn't make much sense, does it? If you actually want the fruits that you see in one student who received it from a particular teacher, wouldn't you like to go to the same teacher and get the same fruits? Of course!
You have to judge for yourself. If people ask for your guidance or help, are they really, really sincere? If you give them the advice, do they take the advice? Do they actually follow through with it? Some people may come to you and ask you for advice over and over. You may tell them the same thing over and over. We have told you the same thing over and over. I am seeing some red faces all over the hall. You do not always do what we tell you to do over and over. And every once in a while, maybe every second year, or second retreat, suddenly it goes "Bing! Oh, is that what they meant?"
So as far as giving the advice goes, the pitfalls, the benefits. The benefits come, of course, if they really want it, if they really follow your advice, great! But the pitfalls come if they actually don't want it, then you could be wasting a lot of time, you could get frustrated, and then get angry at them, whatever. And they could just be talking to you and listening without actually doing anything with it. And of course you would like to see results come of it, in the sense that they do something with all the advice you have given. So you could get frustrated and waste a lot of time.
From our experience, you know, with thousands of students. If we didn't see results, would we continue? If not a single student came back for a second retreat, quite frankly, we wouldn't be doing this one, would we? But by in large, because people come back, that's why we keep giving. If people did not come back, what would be the point, right?
So judge for yourself whether the person is taking your advice and doing something with it, and if you see some results, great, wonderful!