Yes, this is a type of verbal abuse. Within Buddhism, it is a wrong view to think that you are the cause of somebody else's emotions. Sometimes you can point out that you are not the cause of their emotions, they have a choice to feel like that.
For example, suppose you are very busy having to do something and the other person feels under-appreciated or obscure at that time. There's a big difference between that partner coming to you and saying, "When you spend so much time on this, I feel under-appreciated", to saying "You don't appreciate me!"
Perhaps when that person says something like, "You are so such and such" try to look deeper and see what that person is needing or wanting from you at that time, that they think you are not giving to them, and then you can point it out. For instance, if a person comes out and says, "You don't appreciate me", you might say, "Does me spending so much time on such and such make you feel under-appreciated? I didn't realize that it would cause you to feel like that. I'll try to give you more attention." But, you still don't have to take responsibility for another person's feelings.
It's sometimes difficult to talk to people who continually blame you for being the cause of their problems and, depending on the level it gets to, sometimes you have to draw a line; because this can easily escalate into abuse on a mental and physical level. Some people justify being able to force you to make them happy somehow and may say things like, "If you weren't like that, then I wouldn't hit you." So you have to be careful about these types of people and see how much they are blaming you in their life and maybe just point it out to them , or sometimes you have to draw the line and say, "That's not so. If you feel unappreciated, okay; I can try to give you more time, etc., but you are responsible for your own feelings. Everybody is responsible for their own feelings." You don't have to take on somebody else's opinion of you.
Sometimes you have to see whether you are compatible with each other by using the Four Qualities that the Buddha gave us to see if we are compatible with our partner. The Four Qualities are generosity, morality, wisdom and faith/confidence. If there's a big difference in these you are going to have a lot of problems. If so, try to recognize where it is that you're incompatible and see whether it's going to work long-term.
We don't have to be continually apologizing for things that are not our responsibility.