Another quality necessary for a harmonious relationship is Equanimity, in the sense of understanding what we do have power over and what we don't. If some people go out wanting to change the other person, thinking that somehow they have the power to make them the woman or the man that will be their dream person, then they're starting off on the wrong path. We have to like the qualities of the other person and see whether we are, on a basic level, matched in Four Qualities.
Wisdom; this is important so one doesn't become the teacher of the other, or put them down too much, or take advantage of their lack of understanding.
Morality; of course, is essential in a relationship because if there's no Morality, then there's no trust and trust is the basis of love. It is very difficult to give our trust to anybody unless they deserve it, because it's a gift we give to others, not something anybody can demand.
Generosity; if one person is always giving and the other person is always taking, then it becomes lopsided and, again, that feeling of being unappreciated may arise. Generosity actually makes us happier. If we're more giving then we're happier. If we're feeling appreciation then we can express it, that's being generous, too; to take the occasion to express our appreciation for the other person.
Faith or confidence; if we're going in different directions, it's very difficult to have a shared path. In a relationship, they'll live very separate from one another, with separate goals, going in different directions. That may be satisfying for some people, but normally if you want a type of friend-friend relationship, that isn't very satisfying. That's because often if a person is going in a different direction then they may want to pull you in their direction to feel happy.
The Unselfish Emotions are also very important because there are so many phases in life, so many experiences in life, with all the different stages and ages couples go through in life. It's essential that we keep growing together if we are going to keep together. Compassion allows us to stick with each other during the difficult times, even if it means that we are the ones that have to grow, because we value the other person, we value that relationship, there is trust, there is love, and there's the ability to take joy with the other person's good qualities rather than compete with the other person.
Sometimes if there's a competition between each other, then one person may want to always be right rather than seeing that often there's a possibility for both of you to be right. One doesn't have to be wrong; it's just seeing things differently. Steve and I have a saying: not inferior, not superior, not equal, different. This helps us to be able to respect the other person's vision, and understand and value the way they see things so that we can listen to each other. If a person is trying to force their view on the other, then normally the other person is just going to resist, because one person sees things a little bit differently and the other sees things a little bit differently; but actually, if we can put it together then we often come up with a better view, a more full view.
Relationships; I could talk about them on and on and on.