In order for us to protect compassion from falling into aversion, we have to support it with equanimity. In order to do that, we need insight into Dukkha and the true cause of Dukkha. This is so that we can first accept that Dukkha exists, and begin to understand what the true cause of it is. In order to be able to investigate, we have to have a certain amount of equanimity in order to steady the mind. In order to have that equanimity and steadiness of mind, we need to have some practice in observing the hindrances within ourselves, seeing the results of them within ourselves, understanding this Law of Cause and Effect, having compassion for the suffering, understanding that the true cause of suffering is our ignorance of this Law, and learning how to let it go.
If we've had some practice in this, then when we contemplate others, and other people's actions, we can investigate the hindrances externally. In the scriptures, the Buddha talked about investigating the hindrances internally and investigating them externally. When we're considering a person, if we have the same hindrances arising within ourselves, we can try to look more deeply, what is the hindrance behind this person's action? What would have caused them to do such an action? And we can try to recognize whether there was a hindrance, was their hindrance aversion? If they're aggressive, usually there's aversion. If there's agitation, confusion, maybe there's doubt; they did an action through confusion and doubt, etc. So we try to recognize the hindrances in them. If we do that, we can drop below the personality of that person to see the true cause of the Dukkha and that helps compassion to arise.
To prevent compassion from falling into aversion, we have to remember that we don't have the power to take all their hindrances away. That is balancing our compassion with knowing what is our responsibility and what is not - they are the owner of their own Kamma. That helps to prevent our compassion from falling into aversion; understanding that our responsibility is just to feel with them, understand them, let go of our own aversion; we can't change this other person.
Steve talked about separating the person from the actions. It's much easier to prevent compassion from falling into aversion, if we can put the action over here and the person over there, and understand that the person who does that sort of unskillful action usually has ignorance. If we've seen that ignorance present in ourselves, then it's much easier to have compassion for ourselves and others and support it with wisdom; understanding how strong ignorance is at times, how strong these hindrances are, and how difficult it is to let go of them sometimes.
A certain amount of truthfulness and humility to ourselves brings forth a capacity to not expect too much from people. That's another thing, idealism, because these hindrances are basically Dukkha within ourselves and within others, they're also unpleasant when they're directed towards us from other people. So this idealism, this rejection of Dukkha, is very difficult to see more deeply. Learning how to accept the suffering that comes from it and by understanding our own humanness, how we get caught in it so easily due to our own ignorance, helps us to be less idealistic towards others. Understanding their humanness and how difficult it may be for them; remembering also that it's difficult for us, even when we have some understanding about this and have some techniques to let it go; let alone people who may not have the same opportunities that we may have had. We have some teachings about where to look for the causes of Dukkha and how to let them go which can help to bring forth more patience.