Special Retreat Germany September 2003 | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Old Students' Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Each entry has a unique reference, which can be used to find entries quickly.
To learn more about this, go to the "About the Reference Codes" page.

At present there are 44 entries in this list.

Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Steve
3
1
While reading the last newsletter thoughts came up that perhaps I don't practice in the right way. There were deep doubts about what and how I am doing my work and so on. What can I do?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.01
Written answer
Steve
3
2
Is it possible to develop generosity giving to beggars even if I know or assume that they are drug addicts or alcoholics? How much do we have to consider the receiver as well, and how does Right View and Intention apply here?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.02
Written answer
Steve
3
3
What is the best reaction, what shall I do, if somebody I like and respect a lot gets lost in aggressive speech and thoughts? Is it ok to tell them how I feel, that I get afraid and angry too, and ask them to stop? Or should I just leave them alone and not judge their behavior?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.03
Written answer
Steve
3
4
When we die, and if rebirth is true, what part of us is actually reborn?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.04
Written answer
Steve
3
5
In our normal lives, is it advisable to do Wise Reflection in informal situations where we can't necessarily get into a formal meditation posture; car, bus, train, waiting in line, etc.? Also what do you think about including the people around us in the reflections?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.05
Written answer
- Outward Meditation
- Wise reflection
Steve
3
6
Usually it takes some time to understand the necessity of rules and requirements that protect Morality and other Buddhist principles in a community, in other words selflessness. But sometimes it is also necessary to break or relax a certain rule or precept to avoid greater damage or harm, as is illustrated in the story of the two monks who came to a ford where one decides to carry an elder woman to the other side because she couldn't cross the river by herself. Question, could you please give some advice how I can decide whether it is appropriate to follow a rule or relax it? Does the fetter "attachment to rites and rituals" also mean attachment to blind obedience of rules and requirements?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.06
Written answer
Steve
3
7
Do you recommend your students to eat no meat? What did the Buddha teach about this?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.07
Written answer
Steve
3
8
Sometimes I find it difficult to have Compassion and Determination present at the same time. Can you please give some advice how to develop them so that they can balance each other and they can work more together in the same situation?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.08
Written answer
Steve
3
9
Could you please explain the concept of preference in Buddhism?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.09
Written answer
Steve
4
1
Could you please tell us something about the relationship between Citta, heartmind, and the Five Aggregates.
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.01
Written answer
Steve
4
2
I have a mentor at work, he is about 60 years old. He taught me a lot, and he was always very kind. Then I found out he is not kind to most other people, and after years he also turned against me. Intrigues, power, fighting, some also physical. I tried to establish a distance, but he will not allow this. What can I do besides Compassion/Lovingkindness? This is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.02
Written answer
Steve
4
3
Do you think insight is possible without suffering? I don't feel I have aversion and I don't suffer very much. Even when there is pain, I don't really suffer. Do I avoid suffering?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.03
Written answer
Steve
4
4
Steve's answer about the question regarding relaxing the rules and his advice "when in doubt keep the rule or ask other people", from the women's liberation movement I can tell a lot of examples where it is very important not to keep rules and to fight for a change. In other words, until the late 1960s in Germany, a wife needed the signature of her husband to allow her to go working. To be politically active for women's rights is very important in my life, not thinkable without changing rules or laws, and doubt about rules and laws is very important. So what is a wise dealing with doubts about rules and laws?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.04
Written answer
Steve
4
5
Why are your retreats absolutely identical, I mean your talks?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.05
Written answer
- Change
- Retreats
Steve
4
6
What are some methods we can use for dealing with feelings of self-righteousness?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.06
Written answer
Steve
5
1
How can I react wisely when I discover that friends don't take the initiative to keep in touch with me and hardly ever reply to my emails? They all have fairly busy lives, some are Dhamma friends, one from times of high school. Even by working with the eight worldly dhammas and reflecting on death it's hard to keep equanimous after some time.
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.01
Written answer
- Friends
- Friendship
Steve
5
2
My partner and I are trying to make up our mind whether to try to have children or not. Different ideas and thoughts arise. Shall we better spend our money or time for meditation, or will we deepen our compassion when having a child? Shall we give another being the chance to grow up with the Dhamma, or better to help those who are already alive? Maybe work at a meditation center or a Buddhist orphanage?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.02
Written answer
Steve
5
3
If I have the choice between making one retreat in winter at Wat Kow Tahm and one at Waldhaus next year or making the 20-day retreat next year what would you recommend?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.03
Written answer
- 20-day retreat
Steve
5
4
Please tell the story about The Keeper of Patience.
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.04
Written answer
Steve
5
5
Yesterday you talked about the Five Aggregates and how Dukkha arises at the point where Mental Formations are "born". At which point is our Kamma made? Is it the mental formations also? If so can we have more analytic thoughts without making, causing, Kamma? In other words, say when we try to understand how something works like a process, a machine?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.05
Written answer
- Kamma
- Mental formations
Steve
5
6
If Dukkha may manifest at any moment, (and it does for sure) how can I be responsible of my own Dukkha?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.06
Written answer
Steve
5
7
Please explain in more detail how the mind process works when we try to increase beneficial qualities and try to decrease unbeneficial ones? How does sense contact, thought, work in-between? Are beneficial qualities processed in-between right thinking and some wise reactions and mental formations? Is consciousness just guiding this process?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.07
Written answer
Steve
5
8
Please speak about Stream-Entry, the conditions for it and the effects of it. What are the steps on the way and how do you recognize that you have achieved stream-entry? How possible is it for lay people in the West to become a Stream-Enterer?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.08
Written answer
Rosemary
6
1
Could you please talk about Renunciation and how to practice it in daily life?
Ref: 2003.09.x.06.01
Written answer
Rosemary
6
2
Could you please explain in a little more detail how the second precept, not taking what is not given can be refined in order to do some deepening in the formal practice and in every day life.
Ref: 2003.09.x.06.02
Written answer
Rosemary
6
3
I try to understand what Vedana is. I try to bring it together with my knowledge about emotion, theories and brain. If Vedana comes before the labeling process perception, it is a response, it knows what is smelling, tasting. Is it maybe a response that is very much connected to the neurons?
Ref: 2003.09.x.06.03
Written answer
- Vedana
Rosemary
6
4
Did the Buddha give different talks or advice for men and women?
Ref: 2003.09.x.06.04
Written answer
- Buddha
- Dhamma
Rosemary
6
5
I have a seven year old nephew who reacts with very strong aggression and grief when faced with Dukkha. Example, when he doesn't get what he wants, he starts yelling and destroying things, or even tries to beat his mother. When I'm around I have quite mixed feelings, like compassion, anger, grief and fear about being helpless as he doesn't listen when we try to talk to him. What if he gets too big and strong to just hold him. Sometimes his mother even hits him out of feeling helpless and being overwhelmed by anger. How can I help here?
Ref: 2003.09.x.06.05
Written answer
- Child
- Counselors
Rosemary
6
6
What is an unpleasant spiritual feeling? Meditation pain? I guess Moral Shame? Could you please talk more about it?
Ref: 2003.09.x.06.06
Written answer
Rosemary
7
1
Of the few stories I've heard about the Buddha's previous lives as different Bodhisattvas, I don't remember hearing a story about a female Bodhisattva. Was he always male? In Vietnam I saw some statues of a Buddha who looked like a woman. Do you know more about that?
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.01
Written answer
- Bodhisattva
Rosemary
7
2
When I was in Thai Buddhist monasteries or public temples, the Thai people often asked me to pray. What did they mean? Thank you.
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.02
Written answer
- Chant
- Prayer
Rosemary
7
3
What do you mean by prevent, the Effort to Prevent?
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.03
Written answer
Rosemary
7
4
I have a meditator friend. She is a Catholic religion teacher in school, and well-experienced in Zen meditation. When I taught her Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation she asked me if the meditation will only influence her own mind or also affect the person for whom it is done for, like Christians care for the health of someone. I answered no, it's just for your own mind, and will influence the other person through your behavior. What would you answer?
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.04
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
Rosemary
7
5
Does Kamma belong to me? Am I not the owner of my Kamma? How can I understand this compared to the statement that "nothing belongs to me"?
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.05
Written answer
Rosemary
7
6
A Buddhist monk once advised me if I have the choice between telling the truth and hurting someone with my answer, it is better to say nothing, to keep silence. I've tried it very often, and until now there were no good results. If someone asked me a question, I have to say something, I cannot just keep silent. And when I try to say I don't want to answer, that was not any more successful. People normally start to push me more to answer, so what is your advice?
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.06
Written answer
Rosemary
7
7
Being with difficult people often causes aversion and separation for me. I can see that I am mostly reacting to their needing when my own needing has no chance to be fulfilled. Understanding and Compassion/Lovingkindness is growing but I don't expect that next contacts with these people will be totally fulfilling because of my limited capacity to give more. What can I do more? I can see that it's a challenge to let go of the attachment of being a separate being. Can you give me some advice please? After a while the thought comes up, well it might be reflecting on moral shame and moral dread that could help with the arising of beneficial qualities.
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.07
Written answer
Rosemary
7
8
Could you spend some more words about renunciation?
Ref: 2003.09.x.07.08
Written answer
Steve
8
1
Please talk about the Dedication of Merits, what happens in doing so, does our good Kamma flow over to others like good energy? Or do we only use this as a technique for our own determination? Do my parents automatically share my good Kamma even though they might not agree with my way of living?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.01
Written answer
Steve
8
2
I read in a book that you can "grow into" the virtues which are included in the Five Precepts. It was described that if you start feeling resistance within, to break any of them gradually. Is this comparable to Moral Dread?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.02
Written answer
Steve
8
3
Can you please talk about the Salt in the Water and the Wif word?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.03
Written answer
Steve
8
4
Can you say something about the letting go of the Ego?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.04
Written answer
- Ego
- Happiness
Steve
8
5
When using the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish in daily life, I realized the wish is coming sometimes without the warmth and heart feeling. What to do so that the wish is not just a phrase?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.05
Written answer
Steve
8
6
What did Yasodhara do with her life after Siddhattha left her?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.06
Written answer
Steve
8
7
Could you talk about Right Speech, and how it is supported by body awareness. And also how do we practice Right Speech when giving information and giving directions, as well as in our humor?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.07
Written answer