Special Retreat Thailand January 2006 | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Old Students' Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

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Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Rosemary
2
1
Conventional society often speaks disapprovingly of escape from reality. Does such a reality exist in the mind? In what manner can one escape from it?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.01
Written answer
Rosemary
2
2
The three-phase walking meditation is for when you can focus longer on the footsteps. Does this mean more advanced meditators use three-phased most of the time? However, I also note that advanced meditators are walking fast. Is it normal to use the three-phase when walking faster?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.02
Written answer
- Three-phase walking
- Walking meditation
Rosemary
2
3
It is often said that hindsight is 20-20, and we often see a better away after we have done or said something, which can easily fall into self-aversion. How do we prevent and let go of aversions coming from thoughts such as "you should have done it this way"?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.03
Written answer
Rosemary
2
4
On the last day of the regular retreat you talk about using images of reflective thought to stimulate Compassion. Sometimes I can't think of any real images or stories, and so I create something I think is appropriate. Yet it feels false, because I know I made it up. Can you talk about this?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.04
Written answer
Rosemary
2
5
Sometimes when I reflect on the fact that my loved ones could die at any time instead of acceptance I feel fear, and not wanting, clinging even stronger to them, almost not wanting them out of my sight. Can you talk about how to balance this fear?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.05
Written answer
Rosemary
2
6
Can you please talk about jealousy and how we can work with this feeling?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.06
Written answer
Rosemary
2
7
Did the Buddha give instructions on how to work with dreams?
Ref: 2006.01.x.02.07
Written answer
Steve
3
1
What are some practical ways to develop generosity?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.01
Written answer
- Generosity
Steve
3
2
What do we do with our minds during the rest periods in the retreat or outside the retreat? Automatically the mind goes back to its old conditioning: things about the past, future, having desires, etc. Any tips for what to do when I'm just taking a break?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.02
Written answer
Steve
3
3
Could you please give some tips for staying awake during the evening guided meditations?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.03
Written answer
- Sleepiness
- Staying awake
Steve
3
4
Can there be right understanding and yet wrong action? For example: I understand that eating French fries after a meal is just an indulgence, and yet I still do it after struggling with the idea for some time. Or, many people understand that smoking is bad and yet they still do it. What kind of understanding is that? Intellectual understanding, or it may be it also has to do with intentions and mindfulness?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.04
Written answer
Steve
3
5
In a retreat many students are very serious about their practice. In one's more active life, how does one balance this when relating with people who do not share or understand the practice, and who even may disapprove or be threatened by it (for example by the silence during meals)? And how does one balance "light living" with serious practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.05
Written answer
Steve
3
6
How can I tell if a teacher is a good teacher or a bad teacher?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.06
Written answer
Steve
3
7
Is it necessary to believe that the Buddha attained perfect enlightenment? Who knows? Does it not create an unrealistic goal? Like the words of a god, for example Jesus if you are a Christian. Is it not easier just to think of watering the plants? How then, can we take refuge and feel part of a community of people who do believe that?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.07
Written answer
Steve
3
8
What are these 16 states of mind? Can you elaborate on them?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.08
Written answer
Steve
3
9
How can I cope with the self-aversion that I feel. When I can't think of any questions?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.09
Written answer
Steve
4
1
Do you think the Monk who set himself on fire in protest to the war in Vietnam showed Right Action? Did he balance Compassion and Equanimity?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.01
Written answer
Steve
4
2
Sometimes big paper tigers can't throw me off balance (for example falling into aversions) as easily as small paper tigers (for example if I meet a clearly mentally unwell person my compassion is strong and I don't take things personally). But if I meet the taxi driver who is being greedy today...
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.02
Written answer
Steve
4
3
What does D/D stand for?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.03
Written answer
- Defuse the bomb
- Defusing/Diffusing
Steve
4
4
How to practice patience, both formally and informally?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.04
Written answer
Steve
4
5
I have a good spiritual friend who has helped me over the last few years, and I grow stronger and more aware. I realize that I came to judge myself by his standards thereby seeking his approval for my actions. What should I do? How do I keep this friendship, yet grow in my own confidence. How does one develop confidence?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.05
Written answer
Steve
4
6
In the Satipattana Sutta (Four Foundations of Mindfulness) the Buddha talked about the "fetters" that arises from our sense contacts (eyes, ears, nose, etc.). Can you please explain what is meant with "fetters" and how we can use this teaching in our practice.
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.06
Written answer
- Fetters
- Sense doors
Steve
4
7
What is the cause or what are the causes of restlessness? What is the relationship between restlessness and impatience?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.07
Written answer
Steve
4
8
You have taught that if you want to have nice grass you must pull some weeds. The best conditions for pulling weeds are after a rain and before the weeds start to seed. With relationships, what is the best conditions for pulling weeds? How do we know which weeds to pull and which weeds to leave and not worry about?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.08
Written answer
Steve
4
9
I have heard you give a teaching about the aggregates in their relationships with others: the '5-10-20' teaching. I don't really understand it. Can you explain this process more deeply, breaking it down into how it works on the individual aggregates level?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.09
Written answer
Steve
4
10
What kind of meditation do you suggest for a when I am really tired, for instance, after coming home late at night after work, and all I want to do is sleep?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.10
Written answer
- Walking meditation
Steve
4
11
Is it possible that the Buddhist tradition of reincarnation has just been borrowed from the Hindu background that it was growing up in? It is one of the few ideas that doesn't sit comfortably with the verifiable experiential teachings for this life. Should we study the reincarnation via the Scriptures, or are just not bother?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.11
Written answer
- Moment-to-moment rebirth
- Rebirth
Steve
4
12
What balance of breathing awareness and reflection would you encourage in our sitting and standing meditation, assuming walking is not a time for reflection?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.12
Written answer
- Fifty-fifty
- Balance
Steve
5
1
Are your teachings also inspired by Jesus Christ? Your teachings seem the perfect middle way between Buddhism and Christianity in practice.
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.01
Written answer
- Christianity
- Jesus
Steve
5
2
Does laughter have a role in the practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.02
Written answer
Steve
5
3
How can we develop our energy for the practice, and how can we maintain that energy?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.03
Written answer
Steve
5
4
What questions do you ask of teachers when testing their abilities and wisdom?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.04
Written answer
- Questions
- Teachers
Steve
5
5
How important is it to have a partner who is also a serious Dhamma practitioner?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.05
Written answer
- Dhamma partners
- Partners
Steve
5
6
Could you please explain the difference between faith and devotion. And also what role they should play in our practice.
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.06
Written answer
Steve
5
7
After death is there still Dukkha for the one who died? If there is, is it something like the hell that is taught in Christianity?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Hell
Steve
5
8
Yesterday you talked about hoping for the best but expecting the worst in our relationships. If we deal a lot with difficult people, how do we guard against becoming jaded, just believing everyone is out to get us, or just cynical about people and their motivations in general?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.08
Written answer
- Kind people
- Relationships
Steve
5
9
The question yesterday about grass and weeds, asked about when is a good time when to pull the weeds, such as after rain. Could you please give some ideas on how we can determine when is the appropriate time to pull out the weeds in our relationships.
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.09
Written answer
Steve
5
10
In relationship to someone's feelings of increased contentment, morality and Samvega, I heard them say, "I feel a deep intuitive sense that seems to have come from more body awareness practice." What do you think about this quote?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.10
Written answer
Steve
5
11
Is there a special Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation for pregnant women and the baby in the womb?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- People who have died
Steve
5
12
Could you please tell us the story of the man wanting to learn fencing as an analogy to learn to always be on the guard for paper tigers?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.12
Written answer
Steve
5
13
Is the death reflection about future fears also Compassion/Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.13
Written answer
- Broong Dtang
- Combine reflections
Steve
5
14
Is all Dukkha meditation part of Compassion/Lovingkindness. Is a session of Dukkha reflection also one of Compassion/Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.14
Written answer
Steve
5
15
Is it ok to have one Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for all beings for one whole session?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.15
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness wish
Steve
5
16
How do we tighten the strings?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.16
Written answer
Steve
5
17
How do we loosen the strings?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.17
Written answer
Rosemary
6
1
Could you say a little about Renunciation and developing it? Same for Energy.
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.01
Written answer
Rosemary
6
2
Some days ago Steve said that Right Mindfulness is not that important, that is not one of the Ten Paramis, but when I think of how to increase my levels of each Parami, I realize I need a lot of mindfulness to do it. So is that correct?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.02
Written answer
Rosemary
6
3
I have a teacher who tells us to rest and relax more and to be less busy. Does this conflict with your instructions to do more?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.03
Written answer
Rosemary
6
4
How does one work with children and teens on the subject of respect, basic respect for each other? As a parent, teacher and an adult.
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.04
Written answer
Rosemary
6
5
Steve mentioned yesterday the 8 worldly conditions. Could you please explain Obscurity in more detail or even some other words that might fit to the opposite of Fame?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.05
Written answer
- Fame
- Obscurity
Rosemary
6
6
What can I do to become less of a worrier?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.06
Written answer
Rosemary
6
7
How to use the Dhamma when one is diagnosed with a serious disease, and when one lives in fear of such a diagnosis?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.07
Written answer
Rosemary
6
8
How does one purify their intentions more deeply so their actions, speech and thoughts are less motivated by wanting other's praise and fame?
Ref: 2006.01.x.06.08
Written answer
Rosemary
7
1
It seems quite arrogant and uncomfortable to wish the animals less Dukkha and peace of mind, and then having them on the plate and eat them. Please, do you have any suggestion on how to bend or change this attitude?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.01
Written answer
Rosemary
7
2
Is it necessary to have been ordained, at least once, to become a teacher? How to become a teacher? Who should become a teacher?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.02
Written answer
Rosemary
7
3
My partner is taking me for granted. What can I do?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.03
Written answer
Rosemary
7
4
Regarding children of Dhamma practitioners, what would be a good age to introduce them to formal practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.04
Written answer
- Children
- Teaching children
Rosemary
7
5
How can we qualify how much one has improved on the Ten Paramis? Renunciation, what should/can be renounced?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.05
Written answer
Rosemary
7
6
Could you please go through Energy, Wisdom and Resolution.
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.06
Written answer
Rosemary
7
7
How does one work to increase Wisdom?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.07
Written answer
Rosemary
7
8
Isn't the compassionate wish of wishing for the ending of all Dukkha unrealistic? Can we also wish for something that is easier to achieve? How do we tie this seemingly very far goal to our daily life practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.08
Written answer
Rosemary
7
9
Can you explain Mara a bit more? If one has desire and cannot resist it, is that called Mara?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.09
Written answer
- Desire
- Mara
Rosemary
7
10
When I receive constructive criticism or other types of blame I often turn towards a defensive attitude before listening fully to see whether their statement is true, and if it could help me in some ways. This causes unnecessary difficulties in my relationship. How does one avoid the defensive attitude?
Ref: 2006.01.x.07.10
Written answer
Steve
8
1
The word "aggregate", what does it mean? Can you explain some more about the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.01
Written answer
Steve
8
2
What is the relationship between energy and resolution? Does the increase in one necessarily mean an increase in the other?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.02
Written answer
- Energy
- Resolution
Steve
8
3
How can we open more to Dukkha in our daily, often speedy life in order to strengthen compassion for ourselves and others more?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.03
Written answer
Steve
8
4
Can you go over impermanence as a separate reflection and how not being open to it leads to Dukkha?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.04
Written answer
Steve
8
5
Do you have some suggestions for doing the Compassion/ Lovingkindness meditation before going to sleep? When doing this reflection I tend to fall asleep and then wake up remembering I meant to be reflecting, then fall asleep again, then wake up again. As a result it turns out to be quite unpleasant, because I am trying to reflect half asleep.
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.05
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Sleep
Steve
8
6
When in the meditation hall meditating before the big bell rings, and then the bell rings, what would you recommend us doing while the bell is ringing. Should I carry on with whatever mediation subject I am doing, or note "hearing, hearing', or listen to the bell and reflect on the impermanence of this sound as it arises and passes while it is ringing?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.06
Written answer
- Hearing
- Meditation
Steve
8
7
How does one learn to let go of wanting to hide one's imperfections?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.07
Written answer
Steve
8
8
On the extra requirements for old students is says the systems from A to Z of mental Dukkha, lists of professions, etc. Can this be used for Compassion/Lovingkindness? Can you give examples?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Systematic reflections
Steve
8
9
What is the Imposter Syndrome?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.09
Written answer
Steve
8
10
Is sex between consenting unmarried adults contrary to the precepts?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.10
Written answer
- Sex
Steve
8
11
Is the use of responsible modern forms of birth control and prevention contrary to the precepts?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.11
Written answer
- Abortion
- Birth control
Steve
8
12
What about prostitution?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.12
Written answer
- Compassion
- Prostitution
Steve
8
13
What is the Buddhist view on abortion?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.13
Written answer
- Abortion
Steve
8
14
How often do you recommend to do intensive death reflection on loved ones in a daily life?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.14
Written answer
- Death reflection
- Loved ones
Steve
8
15
Can you please talk more about forgiving oneself and others?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.15
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Forgiveness
Steve
8
16
How can we recognize the border between working with Unpleasant Physical Sensations and pushing pain? What is the danger of working with pushing pain?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.16
Written answer
Rosemary
9
1
Are there stories in the scriptures where the Buddha taught a type of D/D reflection? Can you please share with us these stories?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.01
Written answer
Rosemary
9
2
What is the difference between Ego and Mara?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.02
Written answer
- Ego
- Mara
Rosemary
9
3
How can we reflect on the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha, especially if one finds it hard to believe some of the incredible stories, or does not want to use some of the superlatives that are used so much in chantings. Are there any shorter phrases that are more down to earth?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.03
Written answer
Rosemary
9
4
If someone would ask you whom do you love more, the Buddha or your wife/husband, what would you answer?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.04
Written answer
- Dhamma
- Number one
Rosemary
9
5
If you feel desire when you see someone attractive is it ok to reflect that you have a partner already? They have good physical qualities - so have I, they have some less good physical qualities - so have I, they have some good mental qualities -so have I, they have some negative mental qualities - so have I, they were different before - so was I, they will change - so will I, they are subject to aging, disease and death - so am I, they experience mental and physical Dukkha - so do I, we are just two human beings…?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.05
Written answer
- Relationships
Rosemary
9
6
Please, if I'm not sure about having a baby and helping it to grow up, what questions can I ask myself?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.06
Written answer
- Babies
- Children
Rosemary
9
7
How can I tell when I am taking my partner for granted?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.07
Written answer
- Relationships
- Taking others for granted
Rosemary
9
8
Please what is your opinion on euthanasia, helping someone to die, if very ill, and also an old animal and/or injured animal?
Ref: 2006.01.x.09.08
Written answer