Special Retreat Thailand January 2008 | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Old Students' Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

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At present there are 76 entries in this list.

Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Rosemary
2
1
Could you please talk about which techniques to use when dealing with a headache?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.01
Written answer
Rosemary
2
2
I recently heard people judging me as being closed, even a little autistic, when I was just trying to feel inside and be aware of the situation. How can I deal with judgement?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.02
Written answer
Rosemary
2
3
Here, we seem not to put much importance on faith. Could you please explain a little more?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.03
Written answer
Rosemary
2
4
What is the antidote to anger and aversion, Compassion or Equanimity?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.04
Written answer
Rosemary
2
5
Could you please remind me how to dedicate the merits of meditation towards a loved one who has died?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.05
Written answer
Rosemary
2
6
Sometimes I find myself in problems trying to help someone else, but cannot give the help that is expected or even keep my own promise. What is best to do?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.06
Written answer
Rosemary
2
7
Could you please talk about the importance of developing the Unselfish Emotions in relation to the Wisdom practice?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.07
Written answer
Rosemary
2
8
As I recall, Steve has stated that if Moral Shame and Moral Dread are perfected, it could be the same as being enlightened. Could you please explain how the perfection or development of these two things lead to the necessary eradication of all desires, aversions and ignorance of reality that is necessary for enlightenment?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.08
Written answer
Steve
3
1
Could you please talk about reacting to noticing that one is wandering in the meditation? I find myself getting cross and thinking, "Ahh, not again!" etc. before remembering to just note "wandering, thinking" and trying to observe cause and effect.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.01
Written answer
Steve
3
2
There is a Buddhist story which talks about two acrobats. I can't remember the story exactly. It's about being mindful of one's own actions and how, in doing so, we can be in the best position to take care of others. Could you please talk a little about this in relation to the Kalyanamittas? For example, my partner and I have both noticed we could use this principle more. He's a nighttime person. I find myself saying, "I stayed up late last night because you did," instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and going to bed early. Or my partner says, "We didn't sit this morning because I waited for you." We also noticed that if we just do our own thing, then the other will follow in the good habit.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.02
Written answer
Steve
3
3
Yesterday, we got the special mindfulness activity to give a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish to all beings we will injure or kill during our walking meditation. I now struggle a bit with getting the motivation going to do walking meditation since it is not an activity that is essential. I understand it is kinda essential for developing mindfulness and my inner growth. But, still, it is a dilemma.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.03
Written answer
Steve
3
4
What is important to keep in mind when meeting meditation teachers?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.04
Written answer
Steve
3
5
I regularly, once in a while, feel that I experience short depressive periods and tendencies. How can I work with that?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.05
Written answer
Steve
3
6
Regarding reflecting, is it important to always use the same Compassion/Lovingkindness wish or format, as I've been using the two I know from the 10 day retreat? I usually use the same one for each person and not vary it for the whole session. Sometimes Steve's seems more appropriate than Rosemary's or vice versa to the Dukkha contemplated. Also I should like to start using the one from this retreat.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.06
Written answer
Steve
3
7
Regarding closing the eyes, I had another Vipassana teacher who taught it's fine to open the eyes during meditation and said "Most people don't really see with their eyes open anyway." I sometimes find it useful. Any comments? Why do you recommend closing the eyes all the time except in sleepiness?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.07
Written answer
Steve
3
8
How do I choose the meditation techniques which I use each day for sitting?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.08
Written answer
Steve
3
9
What is more important? To feel the Dukkha of the individual or to universalize afterwards?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.09
Written answer
- D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Dukkha
Steve
3
10
By the action of the human body, many living beings are hurt or get killed. Even if you're mindful, there seems no escape out of it. What is a wise reaction to it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.10
Written answer
Steve
3
11
When going back to the West, what is necessary for future growth?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.11
Written answer
Steve
4
1
Regarding moaning, could you please talk about moaning in Dhamma terms? How to skillfully deal with others who indulge in this as a pastime? And how to avoid joining in while remaining friendly with the person and not appearing uppity or condescending?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.01
Written answer
Steve
4
2
Rosemary mentioned on Day 2 that wise desire was called "Chanda" in Pali. What is wise aversion and could you please give some examples of it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.02
Written answer
Steve
4
3
Part of the death reflection wish on the board says: "May they use their precious opportunity to develop the mind." Does this refer to the moment of death? If so, how do we use the moment of death to develop our mind, particularly if death comes very suddenly or we are in a coma and unaware of anything?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.03
Written answer
Steve
4
4
The Four Great Efforts were mentioned recently. I think they are: to Prevent, to Let Go, to Develop and to Maintain. Could you talk a little about these, please?Perhaps give examples of how we can put them into our practice?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.04
Written answer
Steve
4
5
The Buddha mentioned the Four Qualities of Faith, Generosity, Wisdom and Morality concerning successful relationships. I can see how these and walking the same path are important. But how important are personality issues when faced with a decision to enter a relationship or not with someone? Are these as important as the qualities the Buddha spoke about? How much importance should we give to actually liking the person?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.05
Written answer
Steve
4
6
What is more important to do at a certain moment: reflecting or being in the moment?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.06
Written answer
Steve
4
7
Can you please explain two Pali words, Metta and Karuna, their meanings and significance, as it seems other Buddhists seem to use Metta to only mean Lovingkindness? I'm confused.
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.07
Written answer
Steve
4
8
I have heard the Thai expression "Tamachat" as an explanation. If you can, please explain this term and its effects on people's lives here, society, as a way of looking at life.
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.08
Written answer
- Nature of things
Steve
4
9
Could you please talk about the value and benefits of walking meditation?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.09
Written answer
Steve
4
10
When we meet a meditation practitioner, it's easy to assume they have a similar basis to our own if they're in a Vipassana group, especially when they have a Thai teacher in the Theravadin tradition. Could you please advise good questions to ask them to ascertain their understanding regarding intentions, level of practice, compassion, etc., while not appearing challenging or too personal?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.10
Written answer
Steve
5
1
Could you talk a bit about one of the Paramis: Energy? How does one develop Energy?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.01
Written answer
Steve
5
2
I notice I get much less irritated when I have to be with conditions I don't want to be with, am separated from what I want to be with, or don't get what I want. But, still, irritation does arise sometimes. Does this indicate I need to reflect even more on Dukkha, which I already do a lot? Or is it just idealism?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.02
Written answer
Steve
5
3
In the West, when I see old or disabled people, I try to remember the Buddha's heavenly messengers and think this could be right around the corner for me in order to get more Samvega. Could you please talk about the heavenly messengers including possible other examples besides disabled or old people?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.03
Written answer
Steve
5
4
When I have some minor Dukkha, I see the inclination to get more desperate about the Dukkha in the world, like I feel it is myself. Is there a connection?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.04
Written answer
- Compassion
- Dukkha
Steve
5
5
How to work on Moral Shame and Moral Dread?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.05
Written answer
Steve
5
6
What is the difference between wisdom and insight? The word "insight" sounds very deep and profound. Could you please talk about the different levels or types of insight? For example, if I watch a leaf fall and consider that everything is impermanent, is this insight?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.06
Written answer
Steve
5
7
After the "Waking Up in the Morning" meditation last night, it took me a long time to get to sleep thinking of more examples. How can I tell if or where the off-balance lies? Maybe not enough Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Off-balance
- Waking up meditation
Steve
5
8
Two days ago Steve said it is not necessarily a bad sit when the mind wanders off 40 times. One has 40 opportunities to react wisely. But what about when the mind wanders off only twice and stays lost for 20 minutes each time?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.08
Written answer
Steve
5
9
Could you please talk about dealing with the loss of praise and fame that accompanies the ending of relationships?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.09
Written answer
Steve
5
10
Yesterday, Steve spoke about the importance of having Equanimity with people who always complain. How can we grow in Equanimity? Is it just to expect it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.10
Written answer
Steve
5
11
What aspects should be considered if you think about starting a family?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Children
- Family
Rosemary
6
1
I read somewhere that the translation for Yonisomanasikara is "careful attention." What do you think about it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.01
Written answer
Rosemary
6
2
In the Satipattana Sutta, the Buddha said, "And how the hindrances do not arise in the future." For this we use Wise Reflection, right? Anything else?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.02
Written answer
Rosemary
6
3
Could you explain more why most of us like to hold onto self-pity type of thoughts?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.03
Written answer
Rosemary
6
4
Could you please talk about how we can develop our experiential understanding of Dependent Origination and Kamma?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.04
Written answer
Rosemary
6
5
Could you please talk about signs from our thoughts that we are off-balance with one of the Four Brahma Viharas? For example, when I have too many thoughts of, "Oh, there is so much Dukkha" and I'm having trouble wishing Lovingkindness, then is it a sign for me that I need more Sympathetic Joy to remember the way out, and maybe also Equanimity to bring more acceptance?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.05
Written answer
Rosemary
6
6
Please talk more about mental formations as part of the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.06
Written answer
Rosemary
6
7
Can you give me more hints on the achievement mind, please?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.07
Written answer
Rosemary
7
1
Could you please talk about dealing with restlessness, especially during the walking?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.01
Written answer
- Restlessness
- Walking meditation
Rosemary
7
2
Could you talk about the Seven Factors of Enlightenment, please? Do they need to be all the same strength and all be present at the same time for enlightenment? How can we strengthen these factors within ourselves?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.02
Written answer
Rosemary
7
3
How can I work on strengthening my confidence in the Buddha as a person I have never met and where I have to believe in what has been recorded?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.03
Written answer
Rosemary
7
4
How do we stay in the present moment when/if we wish to act compassionately for ourselves and others and have to look ahead for possible outcomes, likely results, etc.?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.04
Written answer
Rosemary
7
5
It took the Buddha six years to get enlightenment. What is our human potential?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.05
Written answer
Rosemary
7
6
I remember Rosemary once saying something like "loss increases as we age," in regard to our older relatives having trouble letting go of a house which is too big and too expensive for them to keep. Could you please talk about what we can do now to remind and prepare ourselves for the losses of aging?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.06
Written answer
Rosemary
7
7
How can we become less dependent on positive feedback, praise or fame from other people to motivate our inward growth?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.07
Written answer
Rosemary
7
8
Could you please define or give an example of self-pity? I am sure I have plenty of it, but sometimes when I hear you talk about it, it seems like every unwholesome thought could be self-pity. This seems a bit broad, so maybe I am missing something or maybe all my thoughts are self-pity.
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.08
Written answer
Rosemary
7
9
Is there a difference between altruism and unselfishness? If so, what is the difference?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.09
Written answer
Rosemary
7
10
Can you talk about the value and power of making aspirations regularly, for example, the daily aspiration to always have a connection to the Dhamma in this life and in the future lives?
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.10
Written answer
Steve
8
1
Can you relate to or explain "beauty" in Dhamma terms? For example, our feeling for it, and finding it in people or objects. Seeking it as art practice and in poetry, etc.
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.01
Written answer
Steve
8
2
If there is "no-self", then what is "it" that cycles around in various lives?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.02
Written answer
- Consciousness
- No-Self
Steve
8
3
I have a desire personality. In retreat I am quite good at balancing sense desires and bending them into wise desires, desires to learn and to grow. Out of retreat, where indulgence into sense desire is easier, I see myself struggling with this at times. Any suggestions?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.03
Written answer
Steve
8
4
Could you please give examples of confidence inspiring objects one might reflect on?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.04
Written answer
Steve
8
5
Is not getting swept away with emotion whether positive or negative, equal to having Equanimity? Is this the aim?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.05
Written answer
- Equanimity
Steve
8
6
Sometimes I feel that I don't have any expectations towards an experience. But when the experience happens, I find Dukkha arising and can only then see that, yes, I did actually have some expectations I wasn't conscious of. Is it realistic to have absolutely no expectations regarding a future experience?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.06
Written answer
Steve
8
7
Before starting meditation practice I used to watch movies and enjoy getting lost in the story. Empathizing with the characters, etc. Now I see how easy it was to "sit still" for one and a half hours.. Is it right to say, doing reflection meditation, visualizing situations could be like movies in the mind?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.07
Written answer
Steve
8
8
Do you recommend or have personal examples of using "mind movies".
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Reflection meditation
- Stories
Steve
8
9
Could you talk about the Five Spiritual Powers please?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.09
Written answer
Steve
8
10
Could you please talk about the difference between self-confidence in worldly things, and self-confidence based on Parami growth? Do you think having too much or too little confidence in worldly achievements can be a hindrance on the spiritual path?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.10
Written answer
- Parami development
- Self-confidence
Steve
8
11
Sometimes it seems to me that I am not progressing much and even stagnate at times. How can I judge others or my own personal growth in Dhamma.
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.11
Written answer
Steve
8
12
Refuge can be found within myself, does not necessarily mean outer Sangha does it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.12
Written answer
Steve
8
13
Watching them more and more closely I'd like to know more about the Five Khandas, which is also called the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.13
Written answer
Rosemary
9
1
Can you talk about the difference between pleasure that comes from the worldly dhammas, the Joy factor of enlightenment, and pleasure as the ending of Dukkha?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.01
Written answer
Rosemary
9
2
After the forgiveness meditation, I found I couldn't remember all of the steps you took us through when it came to extending the meditation on my own. What would you recommend as the most important parts of that meditation if we are to do a shorter version? Or is it better to go back and try to memorize the whole long form?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.02
Written answer
Rosemary
9
3
Please give some common examples of Equanimity falling into indifference and how to avoid this, especially in relationships with those close to us, family and work?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.03
Written answer
Rosemary
9
4
With the forgiveness meditation, I found it very difficult to say I forgive you to the Taliban militia in Afghanistan. However, later, when I had done a reflection on Equanimity, that they are the owner of their Kamma, etc., I was able to extend this forgiveness. Could you please talk about the role of Equanimity in forgiveness?
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.04
Written answer
Rosemary
9
5
Regarding forgetting, it can seem too much of a coincidence sometimes. I seem to forget just what I should be looking at in the mind most of all, missing out a section of the Seven Daily Reflections. Please explain what's going on.
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.05
Written answer
Rosemary
9
6
I was recently a bit unnerved when an acquaintance asked, "Are you going to get a normal job again?" referring to the fact of being an assistant here at Wat Kow Tahm. Though I did reply something about this being normal for me, I felt a bit at a loss to explain better. Help.
Ref: 2008.01.x.09.06
Written answer