Special Retreat Thailand January 2009 | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Rosemary

2

1

How can I try to be less of a perfectionist?

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.01

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Rosemary

2

How does an understanding of the relationship between Compassion and Equanimity help me in my relationship with myself?

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.02

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Rosemary

2

3

What helps to let go of prejudices towards other people?

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.03

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Rosemary

2

4

In the Day 1 Evening Talk in the regular Retreat, Steve talks about the different stages of Mindfulness exampled before, during and after a situation has happened. Concerning before, he refers to being aware of the causes and conditions that bring about certain reactions in us. Could you please talk about the causes and conditions stage of Mindfulness.

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.04

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Rosemary

2

5

Regarding walking with awareness, do you have further instructions how to bring what we learn in formal sessions to our everyday walking?

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.05

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Rosemary

2

6

Someone I know, has for many years not been entirely honest in their financial affairs. This was with good intentions to help the family and nobody directly is hurt by it. This is now causing them a lot of mental Dukkha. They asked for help from a friend but this person is concerned about compromising their precepts particularly if their advice is not followed. Please comment.

Ref: 2009.01.x.02.06

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Steve

3

1

By strengthening the "how fortunate I am" reflection we let go of self-pity. What would be the result or having little or even no self-pity.

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.01

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Steve

3

2

Doubt seems to be a frequently occurring hindrance for me. Now I find it creeping in to my practice, after feeling my practice steadily improved. Is it common to fall into doubt with the practice? When this happens what do you suggest to help understand and overcome the doubt?

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.02

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Steve

3

Thinking in Dhamma terms: Is selfishness a form of greed or aversion or a mix or something else? Is it useful to try to quantify and define it in this way or is this just intellectualizing?

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.03

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Steve

3

4

Regarding developing sympathetic joy: though I seem to be able to easily find examples of others' good qualities and actions for reflection, I still find it hard to come up with examples of my own, though I volunteer for a charity and give to the needy as I can.

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.04

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Steve

3

5

Could you please explain what is meant by the phrase: feelings of unworthiness.

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.05

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Steve

3

6

I recently listened to the life-changing positive effects that a friend found through prayer. They were advised, by a Greek Orthodox Christian monk, to ask Jesus for mercy. After a three month retreat, with almost constant prayer repeating the words, "Jesus Christ have mercy for me." They found that they have let go of the anger and unhappiness, and found forgiveness for their former marriage partner, which has changed their life. It all sounded similar to the effects and practice of Compassion/Lovingkindness that you teach, if one ignores the God or Jesus aspect. Can you talk about mercy and Compassion, the similarities and/ or differences.

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.06

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Steve

3

7

How to differentiate between desire and something that is really good for you, considering food, health, body exercise, friends, relatives, contacts and experiences? How to discriminate without aversion or desire?

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.07

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Steve

3

8

Please advice on how to deal with bullies.

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.08

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Steve

5

1

Our Compassion/Lovingkindness wish is that we and others may reach the ending of all Dukkha. How exactly do we achieve this?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.01

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Steve

5

2

What is the use of wishing?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.02

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Steve

5

3

Doubt is very sneaky. It can be in my mind undetected for a long time! What tips do you have for spotting signs it may be present?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.03

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Doubt

Steve

5

4

Is the Dhamma impermanent?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.04

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Steve

5

Do you have any advice for bringing up children with Right View, that will help them in later life to find more peace without expecting them to become Dhamma practitioners? For example still allowing them to be the willful people they are, testing their limits and having their natural rebellious stages.

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.05

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Steve

5

6

Yesterday, Steve briefly discussed abortion. On reflection I realized I had not fully considered this issue. Would you please explain how I might consider abortion in cases of rape, incest or danger to the mother. Is their any time when abortion would be justified considering Kamma, Dukkha and right understanding.

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.06

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Steve

5

7

In daily life I often encounter selfish behavior such as cutting in line. In such instances is it reasonable or advisable to mention this to the person. If so how do you recommend us to do so?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.07

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Steve

5

8

I can observe that my ability to watch the body mind process and the Five Aggregates is increasing. Can you give more hints on that?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.08

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Steve

5

9

Can you tell me more about idealism towards others, in particular my colleagues at work?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.09

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Steve

5

10

Not wanting blame is still a big one for me. What do you suggest with regard to how to work with it?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.10

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Rosemary

6

1

The Sabbasava Sutta talks about the dangers of becoming enmeshed in views, the jungle of views, the wilderness of views, the scuttling in views, the agitation of views, the fetters of views. Could you please give some examples of these?

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.01

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Rosemary

6

2

I reflect rather on what I can do for other people to have peace of mind, etc. than wishing them to have it, the same for world peace. Your comments please.

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.02

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Rosemary

6

3

Last night's sleep was full of dreams, some pleasant, some unpleasant, some potentially embarrassing if I happen to talk in my sleep, some almost mindful feeling my body moving in a dream. Then I awoke and thought of Mara. Could you please discuss dreams and how they relate to the practice. Do unbeneficial thoughts, speech and actions in dreams affect Kamma?

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.03

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Rosemary

6

4

I prefer saying "I allow myself to have peace of mind etc." instead of wishing in the future and not now.

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.04

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Rosemary

6

5

I find the Ten Paramis reflection the most difficult, often struggling to assess how much I've grown and how I feel about my development, even for those where I have developed significantly. Would you please suggest ways for me to keep track of Parami development so I don't struggle during the reflections.

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.05

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Rosemary

6

Of the Ten Paramis, Renunciation is the most easily forgotten for me. Please give advice on developing this quality.

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.06

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Rosemary

6

7

How do I work with a mind that is restlessly wandering to stories? Not stories that seem to be connected with fears, plans, doubts, etc. but rather just bubbles floating by.

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.07

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Rosemary

6

8

Can you tell me please how can I create Sympathetic Joy in my mind?

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.08

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Rosemary

7

1

What is sadness, what is depression, in Dhamma terms? Why do you think they are treated as unavoidable diseases almost? Once established as a norm in our mind, do you think we can cure them with Vipassana practice? Thank you.

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.01

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Rosemary

7

2

Yesterday's mindfulness activity was to reflect on Patience and Equanimity while waiting in line. Could you explain the subtle difference between the two?

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.02

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Rosemary

7

3

My mother is now 72 and has increasing problems with the body - arthritis, heart condition, asthma and has developed depression and other mental problems. I believe it may be related to the lack of a spiritual practice. She has recently talked of how she intends to take a pill to end her life when the suffering gets too much. Please can you give a Buddhist view on this and talk about how to deal with this wisely.

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.03

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Rosemary

7

4

Could you please outline and talk about the Buddha's perspective of human life as it seems quite different to modern science. I mean at what point does a human start. Is it when the sperm joins the ovum? Also the ending of life, how do we talk about what happens? I only have an idea of Christian soul and heaven and hell or science nothing but matter and energy.

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.04

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Rosemary

7

5

I was raised with the Western idea of marriage, that it is a union "till death do us part". Considering relationships and spiritual compatibility, can you discuss how, or if the concept of marriage is appropriate to our practice? Also assuming we have not yet met a person who follows the same path, should we still date or is this just increasing Dukkha?

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.05

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Rosemary

7

6

I heard another Dhamma teacher say that if we feel superior to another person, because we have followed the path and they don't, we immediately lose our merit gained from practicing the Dhamma. Do you agree?

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.06

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Rosemary

7

Can you explain how not to feel better than others who may be acting unskillfully?

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.07

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Steve

8

1

How can we learn to be more truthful to ourselves?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.01

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Steve

8

2

Do you have any tips for making resolutions, choosing what is appropriate for ourselves etc.?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.02

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Steve

8

3

What is the role of emotions in our practice and how can we use them skillfully for growth?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.03

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Steve

8

4

Could you please talk about the relationship of Compassion, Lovingkindness and Sympathetic Joy in a bit more detail.

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.04

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Steve

8

5

Last evening during the Forgiveness guided meditation, I revisited an event that had been a previous focus of another Forgiveness meditation. I was surprised to become aware of depth and complexity of conditioning linked to this event. Would you discuss the importance of the Forgiveness meditation and the potential need to revisit events several times?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.05

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Steve

8

6

As my practice grows I find my understanding of love is shifting, sometimes raising doubts about how I love and how I feel loved. Would you discuss your experience of this and how your understanding of love has shifted.

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.06

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Steve

8

7

What do you feel are the most important aspects of Morality and Truthfulness? Anything more than not lying, killing, stealing and other things against human laws, respecting laws of nature?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.07

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Steve

8

I am eager to start studying the Suttas. What can you recommend with regards to Suttas from the Pali Canon.

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.08

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Steve

8

9

Do you have any advice for long-term travels?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.09

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Steve

8

10

I experienced again some strange mental phenomena. How can I react properly?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.10

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Rosemary

9

1

When somebody did a lot of harm to you, but later you realized you did learn a lot by all your suffering and about the inner motivations of the other person, so you understand more of life, can that influence the other's Kamma?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.01

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Kamma

Rosemary

9

2

Do people who are partially enlightened have a desire for becoming, a desire to exist?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.02

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Rosemary

9

3

Out of compassion for the suffering of an animal, many people choose to euthanize the animal. Would you please discuss Compassionate Intention, Dukkha and Kamma of this action?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.03

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Rosemary

9

4

In the Sabbasava Sutta it says, "When they reflect wisely in this manner the three fetters the false view of self, doubt and attachment to rites and rituals fall away from them." What does it mean, the false view of self? Would one have a perfected view of the false view of self?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.04

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Rosemary

9

5

What techniques do you advise for working with letting go of feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, self-hatred, feeling guilty, blaming oneself? Balancing these with good actions I know already.

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.05

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Rosemary

9

6

The long eight worldly dhammas meditation last night, though an avid story maker, daydreamer, I found my imagination lacking when trying to find some of the examples to reflect on, What do you think this is?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.06

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Rosemary

9

7

Please help with examples when reflecting on wanting blame, loss, pain and obscurity?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.07

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Rosemary

9

8

Can you give me some examples and explain why it's so hard to work with the eight worldly conditions?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.08

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Old Students' Special Retreat Thailand January 2009