Special Retreat Thailand July 2010 | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Old Students' Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

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Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Rosemary
2
1
How can we react when selfish emotions arise? What reflections can we use?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.01
Written answer
Rosemary
2
2
Can you please talk about self-pity and how we can recognize it in our practice and daily life?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.02
Written answer
Rosemary
2
3
During last night's meditation, the idea that we are interconnected with all living beings came up. Can you please talk more about this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.03
Written answer
Rosemary
2
4
During the regular retreats, Steve talked about separating the person from the action. Could it also be beneficial to do this with ourselves?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.04
Written answer
Rosemary
2
5
My mind and senses are cloudy, perhaps from jetlag and a few sleepless nights, from the World Cup, and from fatigue. I'm having difficulty focusing on and retaining the teachings. How do I open and sharpen my focus so that I can "fully-internalize" the talks?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.05
Written answer
Steve
3
1
Rosemary said something about unbeneficial conceit yesterday. Does this mean there can be beneficial conceit?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.01
Written answer
- Beneficial conceit
- Conceit
Steve
3
2
How to deal with sleepiness that arises because of boredom and a lack of motivation?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.02
Written answer
Steve
3
3
Why might letting the mind be entertained by such things as movies, books and following sports teams be harmful to our practice ?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.03
Written answer
Steve
3
4
Compassion is the desire to help and to be useful to one's self and others. Could you please speak more about Lovingkindness and how it is to be expressed?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.04
Written answer
- Compassion
- Lovingkindness
Steve
3
5
When making bigger life decisions, I try to walk around the elephant, shifting through all the possible gains and losses, etc. to try to choose the one which will bring the most benefit and happiness and the least amount of regret. What else can we do to help with making bigger life decisions?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.05
Written answer
Steve
3
6
I am a person with lots of desires. Many of them are sense desires; luckily some are spiritual desires. Could you please talk about how to work with worldly desires in a balanced, not idealistic way?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.06
Written answer
Steve
3
7
Do you advise people who are very much restless, attached to thinking, and have bad concentration, to do a retreat elsewhere to work on that?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.07
Written answer
Steve
3
8
What does "Kow Tahm" mean and who was the founder of the Wat?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.08
Written answer
- Wat Kow Tahm
Steve
3
9
When we die and have to let go of everything in an instant, what will help us to let go? What tools and techniques are helpful in our daily life to help us prepare for letting go at death?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.09
Written answer
Steve
3
10
According to the scriptures, who or what is deciding on Kammic deeds? For example, what human deeds lead towards rebirth as an animal in a nice home with caretakers, or what human deeds lead to be rebirth as an animal on the streets riddled with disease and suffering?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.10
Written answer
Steve
3
11
By constantly observing the sense doors and noting the impermanence of the sense contacts, I started developing a headache. What have I done wrong?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.11
Written answer
Steve
3
12
I feel a little embarrassed, and even anxious, because I don't have any particular questions for you now.
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.12
Written answer
Steve
4
1
Can you go over the Five Hindrances again, and give guidance on how to meditate, or not, on them.
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.01
Written answer
Steve
4
2
Other people and situations often put different demands upon us. Could you please explain how to investigate with wisdom, for example, is it a wanted demand? Is it an appropriate demand, etc.? Also does it make sense to apply the terms "fair" / "unfair" to demands. If yes, how to judge? If no, what is wrong about "fair" / "unfair" in this context?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.02
Written answer
Steve
4
3
Why is it that some people can be alone for long periods of time and not feel lonely. While at other times be in a large social gathering and feel lonely?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.03
Written answer
Steve
4
4
Sometimes I tend to be very idealistic towards others and I expect them to be perfect. That causes a lot of disappointment when I realize that they aren't perfect. What can I do?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.04
Written answer
Steve
4
5
Could you speak a little about the process of death according to Theravadin Buddhism. Why is it important what we think before we die? More questions: Why is giving one's organs after death not permitted. What happens, for example, to people who die doing extreme sports at the moment of highest excitement or concentration?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.05
Written answer
Steve
4
6
I try to develop generosity by giving things that I like to others but I then still catch myself regretting doing these things. Or giving away money without having any income and then feeling bad about it. How to overcome this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.06
Written answer
Steve
4
7
The compassion meditation wishes good things, in other words, peace of mind to others. Yet he or she is not obliged to accept, or even acknowledge that they might want or need peace of mind. What should a Buddhist do in this circumstance?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.07
Written answer
- Compassion meditation
Steve
4
8
Are there beneficial desires?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.08
Written answer
- Beneficial desire
Steve
4
9
The Buddha is recorded to have said, "Kamma, I say, is intention." Could you please talk a little bit more about this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.09
Written answer
Steve
4
10
Is there a systematic way for finding the best solution to a problem?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.10
Written answer
- Solutions
- Systems
Steve
5
1
When under pressure in a rush, whether self-created or not, mistakes seem to increase exponentially in relationship to the amount of pressure/rush we're in. How do we work with decreasing the pressure/rush factor in our life, so we will make less mistakes?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.01
Written answer
Steve
5
2
I can be very generous to friends and even total strangers with my time, money, and attention. But to two people in my family, whom I ought to be close to, I cannot muster up any generosity at all. Of course there are reasons behind this, but my intent is to get over the "historical wrongs" and consider these two people with as much generosity, and Metta or Compassion/Lovingkindness as I consider with others. How do I do this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.02
Written answer
Steve
5
3
If a loved one, for example a family member, rejects our advice or help, then a negative result happens just as we said it would, but then they still don't agree with our suggested behavior, should we avoid them?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.03
Written answer
Steve
5
4
We often talk about wisdom. How do you define wisdom, say in contrast to intelligence? And how is there a way to deepen this wisdom?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.04
Written answer
Steve
5
5
What is your attitude and reaction when you read about people possessing magical powers in the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.05
Written answer
Steve
5
6
What is Nibbana?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.06
Written answer
- Nibbana
Steve
5
7
I recognize that my own Dukkha is small in comparison to the Dukkha of others. But I still find no resolution to the problem and it keeps returning in my mind, almost spinning out of control. I tried the techniques but still I cannot find peace of mind. What should I do?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.07
Written answer
Steve
5
8
Is it possible to indulge in one sense desire without letting it get out of control? As long as that sense desire is not unbeneficial, for example dancing, creating art, playing music, a game, admiring beautiful things... must we always think of Dukkha when we are enjoying life?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.08
Written answer
Steve
5
9
Concerning the example with the millipede from yesterday. You said the person stepping on the millipede would receive no bad Kamma since they had no intention of killing. But isn't the act of killing in itself due to a lack of mindfulness and unbeneficial actions, which will bring unbeneficial results?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.09
Written answer
- Kamma
- Mindfulness
Steve
5
10
Do we progress in our practice only as far as our Kamma permits us? What is the interconnection between Kamma and an individuals will and effort? What comes first?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.10
Written answer
Steve
5
11
Please talk about humility, its importance, how we can develop it, and let go of the hindrances to its arising?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.11
Written answer
Steve
5
12
We meditate so much on Dukkha and on all the pain that I am losing my equanimity and falling into despair, and confidence inspiring thoughts become too difficult to bring to mind. Can you please speak about positive uplifting qualities, and good things that we can get energy and inspiration from?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.12
Written answer
Rosemary
6
1
Please talk about humility, especially as I seem to have a wrong view that if we are happy and confident then we are not quiet and obscure.
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.01
Written answer
Rosemary
6
2
Is there a short form of Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation? I find it a challenge to remember and enunciate in my mind each and every word, "Learn, practice and develop methods, techniques and tools...", or am I being lazy by wanting to say/think simply "Metta"?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.02
Written answer
Rosemary
6
3
Do you consider any Paramis more important than others?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.03
Written answer
Rosemary
6
4
In one of the 10-day talks you mention that in order to let go of attachment to worldly pleasant feeling you need to develop spiritual pleasant feeling. Could you please talk about this with an example?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.04
Written answer
- Pleasant worldly feeling
- Pleasant spiritual feeling
Rosemary
6
5
I have seen the unbeneficial effects of planning on my body. Can you give us advice on how to plan for the future wisely?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.05
Written answer
Rosemary
6
6
Could you please talk about the relationship between Truthfulness, Right Intention and the eight worldly dhammas?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.06
Written answer
Rosemary
6
7
What are some things that I can do in my life to help my level of Equanimity to grow?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.07
Written answer
Rosemary
6
8
How does one let go of attachment to wanting obscurity when it arises?
Ref: 2010.07.x.06.08
Written answer
Rosemary
7
1
Irena Sendler, a Polish social worker who saved 2,500 Jewish children from the Warsaw ghetto during World War II, risked her life many times; she was caught in the end, tortured and barely escaped being killed. Many years later, she wrote in a letter to the Polish government that said, "Every child saved with my help is the justification of my existence on this earth and not a title of glory". Could you please talk about the justification of our existence on the earth and about our duty?
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.01
Written answer
Rosemary
7
2
Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with a partner who tends to make others, especially me, responsible for his feelings? It's so hard to stay mindful and not feel bad when somebody constantly blames you, "You are so...", "I feel miserable because of you..." Thanks.
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.02
Written answer
Rosemary
7
3
Could you speak more about Morality please, and give examples of how we can improve it?
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.03
Written answer
Rosemary
7
4
We're asked to meditate on the Ten Paramis. These are all rather complex, so it's hard to know where to start or end. For example, Renunciation, renunciation of what? What type of Morality, etc.? Can you go into more depth on each of the Paramis?
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.04
Written answer
Rosemary
7
5
The Buddha mentions Four Qualities that need to match to have a good relationship: wisdom, morality, generosity and faith. Could you please talk about their importance and also are there any other qualities you find essential for a harmonious relationship?
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.05
Written answer
Rosemary
7
6
How often can we do the breath-watching method? How do I know when I am doing it too little?
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.06
Written answer
- Breath meditation
- Letting go
Rosemary
7
7
Another person or animal walks by and a superficial, not spoken, judgment arises from time-to-time. I'm not attached to the judgment, so it passes very quickly, though I'd still like to add a reflection to change the view. I think normally you advise Compassion/Lovingkindness for myself, for the being, and for anybody else judging. The question is, "Is there a short form for this?", as the above can be rather long when we are just walking along.
Ref: 2010.07.x.07.07
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Mental noting
Steve
8
1
I can't see much difference between, "What can I learn from this?" and "Can I change this into the path?", can you please explain?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.01
Written answer
- Differences
- Scholars
Steve
8
2
Why do the beneficial actions from enlightened people not get reborn following cause and effect?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.02
Written answer
- Poisoned arrow
- Wrong questions
Steve
8
3
Trust once lost is hard to regain; could you please talk about different ways of how to regain a person's trust?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.03
Written answer
Steve
8
4
It is hard for me to say goodbye to people I like. The fact that I might never see them again makes it even harder. Now I really don't like to have to say goodbye. Please help.
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.04
Written answer
Steve
8
5
The Satipattana Sutta mentions to watch the body within the body and the mind within the mind. Could you please explain this a bit more, especially in regards to our mindfulness practice?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.05
Written answer
Steve
8
6
How can I increase my trust in a person or a partner?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.06
Written answer
Steve
8
7
How can I become ever more confident in myself?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.07
Written answer
Steve
8
8
Reading and writing. I recently read that the Pali language and the language that the Buddha spoke were not written languages. For a long time only oral communication was used. Please talk about the importance or relevance of "speaking and listening" versus "reading and writing" regarding our Dharma practice.
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.08
Written answer
Steve
8
9
The reflection when bowing to the Sangha goes similar to this: "On the highest level the Sangha is of good, upright, correct, dutiful conduct." Would you know what the different words mean?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.09
Written answer
- Language
- Translations
Steve
8
10
What can we do if we have difficulty accepting the help of others?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.10
Written answer
Rosemary
9
1
Please tell us more about Anatta.
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.01
Written answer
Rosemary
9
2
Rosemary, yesterday, said that trust is the foundation of love. Could you please talk more about this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.02
Written answer
- Love
- Trust
Rosemary
9
3
Can you please talk about tranquility, one of the 7 Factors of Enlightenment? How important is it in our practice?
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.03
Written answer
Rosemary
9
4
What are the benefits of the reflection on "I don't exist"?
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.04
Written answer
Rosemary
9
5
Could you please talk more about how to develop the Four Unselfish Emotions and the role of the Brahma Viharas?
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.05
Written answer
Rosemary
9
6
Please talk more about the process of stopping compassion from falling into aversion, especially regarding other people's actions?
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.06
Written answer
Rosemary
9
7
If we did something selfish and afterwards reflect about it with the wish to be more humble, and develop Moral Shame and Moral Dread, but had difficulty feeling them, what could be the reason please?
Ref: 2010.07.x.09.07
Written answer