Special Retreat Germany September 2010 | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Old Students' Special Retreat Germany September 2010

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Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Steve
3
1
Is it better Kamma to be reborn as a man?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.01
Written answer
Steve
3
2
Are plants living beings according to Buddhism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.02
Written answer
Steve
3
3
What can I give a friend to read who does not know anything about Buddhism and wants to know about it? What about a biography of the Buddha's life? Which ones would you recommend?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.03
Written answer
Steve
3
4
What helps to make good decisions when there is a lot of time pressure?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.04
Written answer
- Decisions
- Experience
Steve
3
5
Could you, please talk about balancing our natural tendency of Compassion towards our loved ones with Equanimity?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.05
Written answer
Steve
3
6
How can materialism in the West block one's spiritual development? How can we guard against the influence of materialism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.06
Written answer
Steve
3
7
Quite a few of my social worker friends/colleagues suffer from burn out. Could you please give hints on how to prevent oneself from it. Thank you.
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.07
Written answer
Steve
3
8
Is there a physical aspect to confidence/Saddha?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.08
Written answer
- Confidence
- Saddha
Steve
3
9
Can you give a bit of advice concerning wanting praise and how to deal with blame. As this world seems to deal with these motivations a lot, it is hard to work on this during the everyday life.
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.09
Written answer
Steve
3
10
Is it helpful for you to know who asked the question?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.10
Written answer
Steve
3
11
Do you think that illness with which you are born and which you have throughout your life is because of your Kamma? If so, would it mean we cannot do anything when we get severely sick?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.11
Written answer
Steve
3
12
Could you, please, talk to us about the importance of mindfulness in daily life?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.12
Written answer
- Feel your bum
- Mindfulness
Steve
3
13
My desire of wanting to be perfect causes so much Dukkha, how can I let go of it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.13
Written answer
Steve
4
1
I like the idea of ego being a statistical data-package to help lessen our self importance. But I don't see why this data-package exists, and even has a name. Can you explain?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.01
Written answer
Steve
4
2
Is there anything negative about proud, about having pride, being proud? If proud was having a good feeling for what someone has reached or obtained, e.g. good friends, a family, work that is good for other people, to be on a spiritual path. Can you be proud, feeling pride for a spiritual path and so on? If there is something negative about pride then maybe it is too much self-identification, how could it be or should it be dissolved?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.02
Written answer
Steve
4
3
Is it helpful in the D/D method to take a person I know for a certain age. I felt that the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish felt more sincere for the person I know.
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.03
Written answer
- D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
Steve
4
4
There is a very old and strong condition in my mind, thoughts of regret coming up, followed by feelings of self-hatred. Could you, please, say something about that?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.04
Written answer
Steve
4
5
If you have a partner who is friendly, drugfree, helpful, patient, but not interested in doing a meditation course or a retreat because he doesn't think he needs it for mental development, what would you do?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.05
Written answer
Steve
4
6
What can I do against greed regarding food?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.06
Written answer
Steve
4
7
I feel as though I don't have much Energy left in my every day life lately. How can I strengthen it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.07
Written answer
Steve
4
8
Where does shyness come from and how can I work with it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.08
Written answer
Steve
4
9
How can I try to be less of a perfectionist?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.09
Written answer
Steve
4
10
Concerning the Ten Paramis reflection, when Steve says "How much have you grown?", I am unsure how to qualify my growth and my mind answers to this with words like "a bit" or "there is some growth". Instead of figuring out how much we've grown, should we be thinking of examples of how we've grown.
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.10
Written answer
Steve
4
11
Would you, please, discuss competition in more detail. The drive for us for competition, if and when it's appropriate, and how to understand and manage the desire to compete when it arises.
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.11
Written answer
Steve
5
1
I have big problems in doing breath awareness, I used to do reflections, is it okay?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.01
Written answer
Steve
5
2
Can you give an example of a short Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, like the one we can do at the beginning of every formal sitting
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.02
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Short form
Steve
5
3
How do you know that you put in enough energy? One can always do more or less, when do you have a good feeling about your work?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.03
Written answer
Steve
5
4
What are with dreams according to Buddhism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.04
Written answer
Steve
5
5
In situations when we don't get what we think we should, how should we know how much we should endure or fight for our rights?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.05
Written answer
Steve
5
6
Could you please talk about Mara and how it could be useful to see challenges in our daily life as Mara.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.06
Written answer
Steve
5
7
Could you please talk about the value of work and how to find the right amount of work.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.07
Written answer
Steve
5
8
Do you recommend leaving the eyes open or closed during talks?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.08
Written answer
- Eyes open
- Talks
Steve
5
9
Do you recommend reading the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.09
Written answer
Steve
5
10
Do you believe everything that is written in the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.10
Written answer
Steve
5
11
How do you manage to tell people exactly the same for 20 or more years, it would drive me crazy.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.11
Written answer
- Sympathetic Joy
- Teaching
Steve
5
12
Could you please talk about beauty, humans everywhere try to create things that are beautiful to them. Sculpturers try to make nice Buddhas, cooks try to prepare dishes that look as good as they taste, musicians try to make beautiful music, dancers try to make movement graceful. Beauty seem to be a quality all humans seek, can you tell us more?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.12
Written answer
Steve
5
13
In Buddhist tradition there is no god, so can we view the Dhamma in the sense of a god?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.13
Written answer
Steve
5
14
I understood there is no proof of God, and Buddhism does not speak of a God. Buddhism speaks about Kamma and rebirth, is there proof of this?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.14
Written answer
Steve
5
15
According to Buddhism, can the living communicate to beings who have died?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.15
Written answer
Steve
5
16
How long does it take between death and rebirth?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.16
Written answer
Steve
5
17
The first Noble Truth describes everything as not really satisfying or unsatisfactory. If you walk the Buddhist path, will the experiences remain unsatisfactory or can you develop more lasting satisfaction?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.17
Written answer
Steve
5
18
Is it right to say that to have compassion or to care means to wish and try to help oneself or others to react more wisely in any situation that occurs with some understanding of the Law of Kamma.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.18
Written answer
Steve
5
19
How can we let go of the condemning mind, this comparing with others, judging them in order to feel superior?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.19
Written answer
Rosemary
6
1
I understand that Buddha said for becoming enlightened the human condition is best, is this right? Can you talk more about this.
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.01
Written answer
Rosemary
6
2
Is there something like a soul in Buddhism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.02
Written answer
Rosemary
6
3
Yesterday Rosemary guided us through the Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation, "You wake up today, but today is different". I was wondering if there is a difference between not accepting Dukkha and standing up for your rights as in justice. So if a family is starving, should they not try to act in some way or another like people demonstrating for lower food prices? And isn't it my duty as a very privileged person to help them to get justice, by at least trying to change the system?
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.03
Written answer
Rosemary
6
4
Can you please give a short form of a D/D for the daily life.
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.04
Written answer
Rosemary
6
5
Sometimes, especially in the morning my mind is very dreamy, and although I use a short wish during the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation and try to keep the Five Reflections short, it takes me at least twenty or thirty minutes to start with the breathing. Am I doing much Compassion/Lovingkindness reflection meditation and not enough breathing meditation?
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.05
Written answer
Rosemary
6
6
What is jealousy and how do we deal with it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.06
Written answer
Rosemary
6
7
Since I started meditation, I've lost more and more of my so called friends, because I don't like to drink alcohol anymore or talk about movies, music, etc. What I have now are some spiritual friends, but living far away from my home. A psychologist, a cousin, told me it is not good for a person's social life to be mainly alone, what do you think about this?
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.07
Written answer
Rosemary
6
8
Do you make plans for your dying and death? How would you like to die? What should happen to your body after death?
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.08
Written answer
- Death
- Rosemary's death
Rosemary
7
1
What does marriage mean in Buddhism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.01
Written answer
- Marriage
Rosemary
7
2
In regards of persons changing continuously and emotions being impermanent, what sense that lifelong commitment make? Are you married in that way?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.02
Written answer
- Commitment
- Marriage
Rosemary
7
3
Could you please talk about the aspects of a balanced practice?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.03
Written answer
Rosemary
7
4
Why don't you bow to the Buddha statue.?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.04
Written answer
Rosemary
7
5
In the talk yesterday evening Rosemary mentioned to substitute worldly pleasant/unpleasant/neutral feelings with spiritual feelings. Could you explain this? How does this work?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.05
Written answer
Rosemary
7
6
Could you please talk about the different states of mind? How many are there and is it helpful to know them all?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.06
Written answer
- Mental noting
- States of mind
Rosemary
7
7
Is it helpful to include my father and mother in a reflection in the following way: "May I be thankful for the good qualities and the conditioning my father and my mother gave me and my I be able to cope with and to overcome the difficulties and problems in my life"?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.07
Written answer
Rosemary
7
8
Is it wise in any situation to first help yourself and then help others? Like in a plane, where they recommend to first put on your own oxygen mask and then help a child with theirs? Are there situations where it should be different?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.08
Written answer
- Help ourselves
- Helping
Rosemary
7
9
How can you help people who have lost a close relative who died at 58 years old because of cancer? They are Christians not Buddhists and full of despair because they can't find any sense. What can you say to them to give them comfort?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.09
Written answer
Rosemary
7
10
Which is more important? The Seven Factors of Enlightenment? or the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.10
Written answer
- Seven Factors of Enlightenment
- Ten Paramis
Rosemary
7
11
Could you say that when one's heart is really open through Compassion and full of Lovingkindness that this is in itself is an act of giving? That it is a Lovingkind atmosphere and a willingness to help?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.11
Written answer
Rosemary
7
12
What are the four levels of Enlightenment?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.12
Written answer
- Four levels of Enlightenment
Steve
8
1
I have changed a lot in the past years - also because of what you taught me. I've not been much of a family person before and didn't like to go to family meetings much. I still don't like to go to them. I like these people but we just don't have much to share. Should I go there just because of some duty? Aren't my spiritual friends much more of a family? Is it egotistical to think like this because I am just a daughter or niece?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.01
Written answer
Steve
8
2
What is Sukkha compared to the normal joys of life. Is there a difference at all?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.02
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Sukkha
Steve
8
3
Is it right to say that the Compassionate wish, "May they free themselves from all Dukkha", indicates that they will be a Buddha or an Arahant? And on the way to the ending of all Dukkha, many others would benefit, as well?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.03
Written answer
Steve
8
4
Was the Buddha we are showing highest respect to in the bowing, the first being who was enlightened or only the first being that started teaching others to become enlightened? If the last point is correct, why didn't the other Buddhas start teaching?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.04
Written answer
Steve
8
5
Equanimity seems very important. It is in the Seven Factors of Enlightment, the Ten Paramis, and the Four Brahma Viharas. Whereas Compassion/Lovingkindness is only in the Ten Paramis and in the four Brahama Viharas. Is it right to conclude that Equanimity is more important than Compassion/Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.05
Written answer
Steve
8
6
Is the purpose of the practice just to be a good Compassionate person?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.06
Written answer
Steve
8
7
Rosemary gave a picture of a person who is ambitious and wants to climb a mountain constantly looking up to the peak with longing. If I compare myself with this picture, I get doubt. I almost never look up to the peak when I'm thinking of Enlightment. I am happy with my life, I am using methods to increase wisdom and to better prepare myself whenever Dukkha comes. Is this a wrong view if I am not being ambitious enough in my approach?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.07
Written answer
Steve
8
8
Could you talk about Euthanasia. Some people talk about putting a being out of its mystery. For example, killing an animal because it has greater suffering. Also in Europe there is now a growing trend of companies and doctors providing the services of assisted suicide. Helping other people end their own lives sometimes in the presence of loved ones and what they call "dying with dignity". Can you tell us what you think?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.08
Written answer
Steve
8
9
How literally should we take the scriptures? For example, did the Buddha really go on separate outings to see a sick man and a dying man. Isn't it more likely that he realized at age 29 that his body was also subject to sickness, decay and that he would die. And that he intensively felt the Dukkha and wished to find a solution to it.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.09
Written answer
- Dead leaves
- Scriptures
Steve
8
10
How do I let go of fear of speaking in public? Even facing a crowd without having to speak makes me feel uncomfortable.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.10
Written answer
Steve
8
11
There is so much cruelty in the world. Compassion, forgiveness, when considering that they will get the results of their cruelty - okay. But there will be more cruelty because of the Law of Kamma. This is never-ending. This depresses me, it makes me feel helpless. How do I balance the feeling of doubt. Reflecting on confidence inspiring objects helped, but there is still some doubt left.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.11
Written answer
Steve
8
12
Is the order in which we list the Ten Paramis important?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.12
Written answer
- Scriptures
- Ten Paramis
Steve
8
13
What happened to the woman to whom the Buddha was married to five hundred times according to the legend.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.13
Written answer
- Yasodhara
Steve
8
14
How much do you meditate formally per day?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.14
Written answer
Steve
8
15
Who have been your teachers?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.15
Written answer
- Teachers
Steve
8
16
Can you please give an example of how to do the short form of the Five Reflections.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.16
Written answer
- Five Reflections
- Short form
Rosemary
9
1
Do you think it's good for us to do small retreats, one to two days on our own?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.01
Written answer
- Meditation retreats
Rosemary
9
2
Can you give an example of gain and loss?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.02
Written answer
- Gain and loss
Rosemary
9
3
How can I increase faith in the Triple Gem?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.03
Written answer
- Faith
- Triple Gem
Rosemary
9
4
There are people with psychological problems that make them do harm to others without knowing or recognizing it. But they might not be able to change because of their ignorance. Are these people responsible for the Kamma they create?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.04
Written answer
Rosemary
9
5
How can I help a person who is so attached to suffering that she does not feel worthy to come and do a retreat although she read the book "Compassionate Understanding" and thinks it is very good?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.05
Written answer
- Attached to suffering
- Sympathetic Joy
Rosemary
9
6
Do you recommend using Wise Reflections during walking meditation?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.06
Written answer
- Walking meditation
- Wise reflection
Rosemary
9
7
Why is it important to do good actions?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.07
Written answer
Rosemary
9
8
During retreats I tend to sleep less. In the beginning the wake-up bell wakes me up, whereas later in the retreat I wake up one hour before the bell. Could you please explain this phenomenon?
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.08
Written answer
- Retreats
- Sleep
Rosemary
9
9
I get really stressed during working meditation. There is time pressure, and I feel people are watching and judging if I am slow or fast. If I am too slow, they have to help me and I feel sorry for causing them extra work. So I am noting tension in the body and trying to understand that stress is impermanent.
Ref: 2010.09.x.09.09
Written answer
- Mindfulness
- Working meditation