Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

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Teachings from Steve Weissman

This page includes all of Steve's teachings in the database. They are sorted by their source, for example, which Special Retreat the question originated in. Within each retreat the entries are ordered according to day (Day 1, Day 2, etc.), and the order in which the entries were made (the index number).

Each entry has a unique reference, which can be used to find entries quickly.
To learn more about this, go to the "About the Reference Codes" page.

At present there are 1634 entries in this list.

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Day
Index
Question
4
1
Who is the person on the board outside and what is his story?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
It seems easy to wish Compassion and Lovingkindness for myself, yet the emphasis and wordings of this morning's meditation leaves me with some doubt that maybe it shouldn't be so easy to wish this for myself.
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
I have heard that in this practice we should be continually be coming back to the moment, with an open, curious, questioning mind, and not to hold our beliefs too rigidly, as they may narrow our vision. We are also taught that doubting is not beneficial. I find that the line between doubting and questioning very fine at times. Do you have any suggestions or insights regarding this.
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
In the moment of Death, ill from Alzheimer's disease, the mind is a wreck. What does the development of mind qualities help?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.04
Written answer
- Death
- Thai story
4
5
Could you please tell us about clear comprehension and wisdom, about cause and effect in daily life?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
What is meant by the word "right" as it is used in the Noble Eightfold Path, in regard to "Right Understanding, Right Thought" etc.?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Can you talk about Right Concentration, and it's role in the practice? How it supports the other seven parts of the Noble Eightfold Path?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
I find it difficult to meditate on Equanimity. Could you please give some examples?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
Did the Buddha or Buddhism say something about homosexuality?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.09
Written answer
- Buddha
4
10
Is the amount of Dukkha in the world or the universe constant, and does Buddhism see a chance to decrease it if more people would meditate harder?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
Are we humans trying to have a spiritual understanding, or are we spirits trying to have a human understanding?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.11
Written answer
- Human life
- No comment
4
12
When you reflect on the Five Reflections during one whole period, do you go through each one of them, and once this is done, pick one to meditate on, or can you go on to body awareness if no more ideas arise to reflect on?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.12
Written answer
4
13
What do you recommend to do for physical health? If not exercises, as is Prana Yoga, Tai Chi, Qui Gong, maybe some sort of sport?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.13
Written answer
- Sport
4
14
Do Metta (Lovingkindness/Compassion) meditations work like a one-hundredth monkey effect? When we actually visualize someone we know in a meditation, can they be somehow lifted up kammicly by wishing them ease of suffering, are we praying?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.14
Written answer
4
15
How soon after the Buddha's life were the Scriptures written and how accurate are they thought to record his teachings?
Ref: 2000.01.x.04.15
Written answer
- Buddha
7
1
How do the two ideas of not self and rebirth go together? If there is not a self, what is reborn?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.01
Written answer
- Rebirth
7
2
Is rebirth thought to occur immediately at the moment of death?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.02
Written answer
- Death
- Rebirth
7
3
Could you please remind us how to work with Unpleasant Physical Sensations?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.03
Written answer
- Unpleasant physical sensation
7
4
Can you please give some explanation about the Paramis Truthfulness and Morality? What do they mean in Buddhism, what is important to consider about them?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.04
Written answer
7
5
Why is it important to have a peaceful mind in our moment of death when you consider reincarnation is theory or belief, not a proven fact?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.05
Written answer
7
6
What is the difference between greed, craving and desire?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.06
Written answer
- Desire
7
7
Confidence inspiring objects. Rosemary mentioned reflecting on this when ill. Are they general things for example, Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, or did she use something more personal?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.07
Written answer
7
8
Usually as a child we can live in the present moment. But as we grow up we seem to lose this capability or capacity. Why?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.08
Written answer
7
9
Do you have questions sometimes? Do you try to find answers in yourself or do you have somebody you can ask?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.09
Written answer
- Questions
- Teachers
7
10
What to do when Compassion and Lovingkindness meditation creates too many emotions inside? Shall we let them manifest or try not to let them manifest?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.10
Written answer
7
11
Are fate and Kamma the same thing? If we know that we did very wrong and unbeneficial things in the past, can we improve it now in the present?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.11
Written answer
7
12
Is it important to confess unwise actions to others or is it enough to confess them inside ourselves?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.12
Written answer
7
13
My capacity for having compassion seems to be limited by the level of equanimity I have developed. Please teach us techniques to strengthen equanimity.
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.13
Written answer
- Compassion
- Equanimity
7
14
Can you explain the difference between "not to doubt" and "to believe"?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.14
Written answer
- Saddha
7
15
What is attachment made of? Fear of loss or desire?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.15
Written answer
7
16
When doing the walking I seem to have a similar thought coming again and again. I'm trying to use Reflections to let go but they do not seem to work. What do I do?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.16
Written answer
7
17
Rosemary talked about a story of a person who lost a child the other day. Can you tell us the story?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.17
Written answer
7
18
What do I do if I can't seem to feel compassion for certain people?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.18
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Can you talk more about how to work with the tendency to corner ourselves, the mind, and try to force it to change, holding up ideals of what we think it should be versus working with mind and its current and past conditioning.
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Sometimes I see people doing things that are just not proper or right. And I am in a position to say something to try to stop them, such as stopping a person killing a spider. I need to respond quickly to stop them, yet there is sometimes strong aversion which comes out in the response, so I'm reacting out of aversion, but if I don't, they kill the spider. I need to learn better how to react wisely and quickly, or perhaps when to let it go and get a grip on myself first.
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.02
Written answer
- Dhamma
- Kamma
3
3
Can you explain more about dealing with difficult mental states which persist after attempting objective observation, observing the body?
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What are some ways to deal with the desire for pleasure, which rather than fading away seems to change focus over time.
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Often I have strong fear and worry, which I think is connected to a deep sense of insecurity. On an ultimate level there is no security in anything, but on a relative level security does seem important. Can you comment on this balance?
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Could you please talk more about ways of asking ourselves Wise Questions, in order to lessen attachments and develop wisdom?
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Can you please explain more about the third Parami Renunciation?
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Will you please talk further about looking at the Dukkha caused by attachment, in order to lessen attachment to things like entertainment, people, the eight worldly dhammas.
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
Can you talk about wise attachments more? Also how to balance attachments to teachers and people.
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
Can you talk more about these important moments when Mara switches the mind to unbeneficial ways, like the judging mind, envy, sloth and torpor. How can one more skillfully and quickly root out these thoughts?
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.10
Written answer
4
1
Anicca (Pali word) is translated with the negative aspect of impermanence. Can you say something about the positive aspects of change, alteration, evolution, variation and transformation.
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.01
Written answer
- Impermanence
4
2
How can we be more accepting of our Kamma and not get stuck in difficult mind states such as anger and self-blame?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.02
Written answer
- Kamma
4
3
Can you please explain the Parami of Morality?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Could you please talk about mind spins. How they arise, how to identify them as a spin and then stop them?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Can you talk more about letting go of self-hatred when working with a strong sense of regret, particularly to 1) recent events, 2) taking others' affections and conditions for granted or 3) reacting to and working with regret skillfully.
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
Can you explain more about doubt? Because I never seem to have this hindrance.
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.06
Written answer
- Doubt
4
7
What does it mean to respect Mara?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
I saw an older man dying a very painful death. His children refused to see him, saying they don't want to have anything to do with him. I don't know what had happened between them, but I know he was imprisoned for a few years because of child abuse when he was young. Now Buddhism teaches to have respect and gratitude for your parents and to take care of them. How does this relate to cases like that?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
Could you please talk about envy, jealousy, and how to bend these mind states into beneficial ones.
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
Are all things that happen to us Kamma, or is there a concept of randomness? For example, a friend of mine was badly hurt in a car accident. Someone said, I wonder what he did to deserve that. Could it just be an accident and lessons are learned on how he copes with it, or are all accidents Kamma?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.10
Written answer
- Kamma
4
11
Could you talk more about fear? For example, a small fear that arises as a mosquito bite, versus a big fear like the fear of death? How can we work with these fears on a relative level?
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.11
Written answer
4
12
Could you give some tips for some different systems for the Reflection meditations? I seem to be going over the same thoughts again and again.
Ref: 2001.07.x.04.12
Written answer
5
1
Can you explain more about developing of the Parami of Energy?
Ref: 2001.07.x.05.01
Written answer
- Energy
5
2
How important is it to have a teacher? In the meaning, to have something like a personal teacher. Lots of practitioners say this person, so and so, is my teacher, with a specific name.
Ref: 2001.07.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
The Paramis of Patience and Equanimity. Could you speak more about them? Especially the qualities or characteristics of Equanimity and ways of developing both.
Ref: 2001.07.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Statement (this is Ananda here): One of the aims of our practice is the development of more and more unbroken Mindfulness throughout the day. Question: Is it possible to extend Mindfulness to the times of sleeping and dreaming? If yes, do you have any advice on how to practice Mindfulness in that way?
Ref: 2001.07.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Should we be reflecting during the day, like when we're washing our laundry, et cetera?
Ref: 2001.07.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
What should we do if we feel we are getting tired of Reflection meditation and getting restless and agitated?
Ref: 2001.07.x.05.06
Written answer
8
1
How can I be sure that I've let go of a hindrance, thought, or feeling, and do not suppress it?
Ref: 2001.07.x.08.01
Written answer
- Energy
8
2
We're taught to reflect on the various ways we are fortunate, and the precious opportunity we have with our life. Could you expand more on the second part of this Reflection, the precious opportunity we have with our life? I would like more clarity on this.
Ref: 2001.07.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Can you talk about the value of watching healing in one's practice?
Ref: 2001.07.x.08.03
Written answer
- Compassion
8
4
A Zen master once said, "In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind, there are few." Question: How can we avoid, break open routines in every day life in meditation?
Ref: 2001.07.x.08.04
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Last night during the D/D, I felt my view widen out to others' Dukkha, and away from my own stories. But this morning I noticed how quickly little VVs and irritations came. Could it be that I am not trying enough, or is this just normal? Could you please talk more about this?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.01
Written answer
- Canki Sutta
- Practice
3
2
When is the passing on of Kamma, at the time of birth or at conception? What about beings that have been cloned? Is their Kamma decided before they have been conceived?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.02
Written answer
- Birth
- Conception
3
3
In the scriptures there is a long list of defilements, impurities, hindrances, roots, nuts, corruptions etc. Is it important to know them all, or can we note them when they are there or when they are absent?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
How can I find a good standard to see the growth of some Paramis and to see which one needs to be developed more, so that I can avoid a competitive mind or comparing with others?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
I consider myself to be a generally peaceful person. Outwardly my speech and actions are normally non-violent. However, I am sometimes surprised by thoughts occurring in which violence is a theme. Perhaps I am observing events, or perhaps I am suffering at the hands of a violent person, or sometimes I am even the perpetrator of a violent act. Mahatma Ghandi has emphasized the need to redirect actions, speech and thoughts towards non-violence. Can you recommend any techniques to help achieve this, especially the violent thoughts?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How important is celibacy with regard to perfecting the Parami of Renunciation, and also in general with regards to one's spiritual practice?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.06
Written answer
- Celibacy
- Renunciation
3
7
Could you please talk about the following Paramis, and give examples of how to develop them more strongly in daily life situations and formal practice? Renunciation, Energy, Resolution/Determination, Truthfulness.
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Can you please talk a bit more about Right View and Right Intention?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
Is it OK to shift the focus in the walking, from the sensations in the legs, to for example, the arising and passing away of an insect bite?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.09
Written answer
- Walking
3
10
What to do at the moment when death suddenly seems very near? For example, during a big earthquake, and the mind is overcome by fear?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
When I see that someone is going to do a wrong action I can intervene so that the Kammic effect for that person will be different. What about animals? For example, a dog playing with a frog, a cat chasing a mouse. With what intention shall I intervene? What gives me the right to change the animal's Kamma, if there is one?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.11
Written answer
3
12
Is it natural, normal, that the heart sometimes feels wide open and compassionate, while at other times it feels totally closed, even if I do the same contemplation? Or do I have to use other techniques at that time to open up again? Or am I too impatient with myself?
Ref: 2003.01.x.03.12
Written answer
4
1
I once listened to a talk by a Theravadin monk who was talking about freedom. He told us that there is no free will because everything is conditioned. If that is so, why are we making all these efforts?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.01
Written answer
- Conditioning
- Free will
4
2
What are the techniques working with fear? Are there different techniques for fear of death, fear of heights, fear of being attacked by someone who is threatening you?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
I haven't heard much discussion by the Buddha about a creator God. While the emphasis on a practical way to lead oneself from suffering is refreshing and enormously helpful, did the Buddha say anything about this? In other words, is there a God?!
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.03
Written answer
- Creator
- God
4
4
Sometimes when I make a mistake, I feel Moral Shame, but then no Moral Dread. What can I do to open up to Moral Dread, so that in the future I will try harder to not make a similar mistake again?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Yesterday Steve talked about antidotes for certain hindrances, for example, Compassion/Lovingkindness for anger. With regard to fear/worry, the antidotes that I thought of were death, reflection on one's good past Kamma, and the Triple Gem, are there any more that you can think of?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
Is death reflection a good antidote for all underlying mental disease?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.06
Written answer
- Death reflection
4
7
Is it beneficial to try to find a partner who's also a Buddhist meditator as opposed to being single?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
Yesterday you talked about using awareness to learn about pain and how to cope with pain. There've been times for me when I had "real" pain, from a physical thing. And while I tried to use awareness the pain stayed strong, and my mind became exhausted trying to maintain awareness of the body and mind? What to do then? Can I just shift my posture? What about reflection?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.08
Written answer
- Pain
4
9
Where's the dividing line between the craving for the end of Dukkha and serious practice?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
What does the Dhamma mean?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.10
Written answer
- Dhamma
4
11
What are the dangers of attaching to the eight worldly dhammas and how can I avoid them?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.11
Written answer
4
12
What does enlightenment mean?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.12
Written answer
- Enlightenment
- Nibbana
4
13
Do you have any experience with other spiritual paths?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.13
Written answer
- Other spiritual paths
4
14
What is most important for correct posture for the formal meditation practice?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.14
Written answer
4
15
Do you believe in God as something as the essence of it all?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.15
Written answer
- God
4
16
What does death mean to you? Do you believe in reincarnation?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.16
Written answer
4
17
What does the Pali chanting have as an effect for those who do it?
Ref: 2003.01.x.04.17
Written answer
5
1
Can the Kamma being experienced in this life be the result of actions in this life? Can Kamma in this life be the result of the actions of many past lives? Is there instant Kamma?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
Can a person whose basic needs are not fulfilled really train the mind? Is it possible to wish a starving person to overcome their fear, anger, worries. Shouldn't I rather wish them a short, painless death, and being reborn in a better situation?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
How can I stimulate the "To care and not to care" reflection?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
What is the mind?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Could you please say a few more words about lifestyles and spiritual progress?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Can you please explain "Paticcasamuppada"?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
What kind of reflections can we use at or just before the moment of death? How to overcome the fear that may be present?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Can one dedicate good Kamma to somebody else? Does it really work, or is it just a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.08
Written answer
- Dedicate good Kamma
- Kamma
5
9
Can cats or dogs be reborn as humans and have a chance of getting enlightened? Can we help them to do good Kamma as they may not be aware of the necessity to do so, and seem to be driven by desire and hatred?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
Knowing that there's no concentration, knowing that the desire for it will prevent it, please remind me of the tools that can bring forth concentration.
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Last night during the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, the repeated thought came up that I feel quite fortunate regarding my health, or the environment, life circumstances I find myself in. I had doubts if these are the right thoughts, when I consider the extreme Dukkha that some people experience, especially during the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation. Can you please say something a bit about this?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
5
12
Is the way I'm going to die influenced by Kamma? Can I gain a peaceful painless death by trying to be a good person?
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.12
Written answer
5
13
Would you please tell the story of the Buddha's Enlightenment under the Bodhi tree? In particular about his battles with Mara, and how he overcame and became enlightened.
Ref: 2003.01.x.05.13
Written answer
8
1
I have problems with the reflection "Actions and the Results of Actions," with the inward and outward way. If I go through my life or the lives of others and consider these events as beneficial or unbeneficial, I often cannot find a result at all, or sometimes not a beneficial result to a beneficial action or vice versa. Can you please explain how this method works exactly?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.01
Written answer
- Actions and the Results of Actions
8
2
I've heard some people say that sexual energy is a very strong power that should not be suppressed but can be turned into energy for the path. What is sexual energy? Isn't it just another sense desire? How can I turn it into the path?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.02
Written answer
- Desire
- Sexual energy
8
3
Can you talk a little about how self-doubt hinders the practice?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Do you believe that someone can attain enlightenment without encountering the Buddha Dhamma in that particular lifetime, in other words, Hindus, Christians? Do you believe there are currently enlightened beings in Thailand or the wider Buddhist Sangha?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.04
Written answer
- Enlightenment
8
5
How unique are your teachings? In particular, is the practice of doing reflections for a whole period of sitting meditation encouraged by other teachers in this tradition? Is it recorded that the Buddha encouraged it? How sure are you that deeper states of concentration are not beneficial to come to understand reality?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
In opposition to the three unwholesome roots, we can use the three wholesome roots of our mind for the possibility to overcome Dukkha. Do lower levels of existence also have these roots to be able to free themselves of Dukkha one day?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.06
Written answer
- Animals
8
7
Reflecting on the relationship between confidence/faith and wisdom, I feel that I am stronger in confidence and find it more easy to develop. How can I perhaps use the quality of confidence to develop and support wisdom?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.07
Written answer
- Confidence
- Wisdom
8
8
There are times when I have to make some big decisions about my life. So, I reflect, consider and wait until the last moment to make it, to give myself time. But then after making the decision, there's this wavering nervous energy that doesn't want to let go, wanting to continue the feeling of doubt, a wavering kind of feeling about the decision. What's going on? How do I stop worrying about a decision that has already been made?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Decisions
- Doubt
8
9
Sometimes in Buddhism I hear about the dangers about the desire for "becoming". Can you talk about what this means? Is this something to watch for in our practice? If so how do we see it, and what is the best way to work with it?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
In the Sutta called "The Great Forty", the Buddha talks about the Noble Eightfold Path, and he explains what right view is and wrong view, what right thought is and wrong thought is etc. But he doesn't explain what wrong effort, wrong mindfulness and wrong concentration are. Is it to use effort, mindfulness and concentration for an unskillful action?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
When was the last time you were just a tiny little bit drunk? Do you have an opinion about this, and how about special occasions?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
How can we help to strengthen awareness of the Four Noble Truths in our practice and our daily life, especially the third and the fourth one?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Which methods, tools and techniques of mental development do you recommend to overcome the fetter of personality belief? How does this fetter manifest for western meditators?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.13
Written answer
8
14
Does Buddhist philosophy have a knowledge about chakras and such stuff?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.14
Written answer
- Chakras
- Psychic Energy
8
15
How did the great masters get their knowledge, wisdom about subjects beyond our own levels of understanding?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.15
Written answer
8
16
Do you believe in a higher law?
Ref: 2003.01.x.08.16
Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Day
Index
Question
3
1
I have been trying to develop balance in my Compassion/Lovingkindness and Equanimity, and seem to be progressing. But I have noticed an imbalance in "style." My Compassion tends to be passive/reactive, and I am unclear on how to balance it with proactive interest in people's wellbeing. Do you have any suggestions on how I might find that balance?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
I found that Right Speech is a major field for me to work on, as well when I am with our sitting group or Sangha. Can you give any more hints for that, please?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.02
Written answer
- Right Speech
3
3
How can we have a balance in not becoming too idealistic and not wanting to do too many mistakes, and wanting my parents to fully understand what I do or decided to do?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
I have some difficulties with a particular person here who sometimes does unbeneficial things. How can I react towards my inner prejudices and images of that person?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.04
Written answer
- Perception
- Prejudice
3
5
As I see that the eight worldly dhammas are becoming more and more obvious to me in my daily life, could you please give me brief explanation of them?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
When I leave the center soon, I would like to have some advice concerning using other meditation teachers and applying the Kalama Sutta accordingly?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
I'm having extreme difficulties with eating too much. With eating too much, stuffing myself up because I can't control my desire for the lovely food the nuns prepare us. How can I learn to get the balance right?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.07
Written answer
- Desire
- Eating
3
8
I face major challenges right now because my psoriasis caused a skin infection on my head due to scratching. It looks quite awful, and I am worried about other's opinions, likely disgust, likely others' disgust, because of it. How can we view it in a different light?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
I feel a little uncertain about returning back home to my old friends who may not share my interest in Dhamma at all. Some of them really do unbeneficial things which I do not want to join in anymore. How can I handle this situation?
Ref: 2003.04.x.03.09
Written answer
- Family
- Friends
4
1
I have a problem with alcohol I enjoy wine with dinner. It de-tenses me. Mentally I know I want to stop this habit, but I keep doing it. Everyone in my family drinks.
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
When going to sleep and the mind starts to 'busy itself', what is the best technique(s) to assist in entering a deep state of sleep?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.02
Written answer
- Sleep
- Worry
4
3
My friend, who has just died, became terrified of death. She had always been a gentle caring person. I pointed this out but it didn't seem to help. What could I have done to help ease her fears?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
How do we fit all of these meditations into our lives? Which do we use when?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Is "following the path" compatible with a Western lifestyle?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
I have great difficulty with balance in relationship; my marriage. I'm unhappy vs. being content with what I have.
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
I think I'm a fairly "good" person and I certainly wish my friends well. Yet a flash of jealousy can arise when I hear of their successes. How to combat this?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.07
Written answer
- Hat
- Jealousy
4
8
"Slow" and "Mindful" In the practice, are they close to synonymous? Can you be too slow, thus giving distractions time to sneak in?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
You say it took the Buddha 500 lifetimes to become enlightened. Was he born in each lifetime knowing what he had learnt before, or did he have to learn it all again but at a faster rate?
Ref: 2003.04.x.04.09
Written answer
5
1
Please can you expand on how to notice and counteract spiritual complacency?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
In Sydney we get regular visits from the Dalai Lama. Would it be beneficial to participate in these visits? I'm a bit concerned about the difference between the Tibetan and the Vipassana traditions.
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
I had a situation where there were a number of difficulties. Compassion was required to assist in this situation. I'm not sure I balanced Compassion with Equanimity. How do you know if you have that balance?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
"Countless eons, 500 lifetimes." Are we meant to take these expressions literally?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.04
Written answer
- '500'
- Eons
5
5
Intention. What is anger, and how does it affect the practice in daily life?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
The war. I'm against war and what is happening in Iraq, but I know that I would do anything, including killing if necessary to protect myself, my family and others. So I believe in my own wars, but not others. Would you please comment on this.
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
After about 10 months of traveling I feel homesick, how do I let go of and prevent this type of Dukkha?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.07
Written answer
- Desire
- Homesick
5
8
How can I react properly and skillfully concerning pain and sickness when I suffer from it in the moment?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
I have pain and tension in my shoulder, what can I do?
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
What would you recommend in general to me, or is important to keep in mind concerning my stay here or at Wat Kow Tahm and after Wat Kow Tahm.
Ref: 2003.04.x.05.10
Written answer
8
1
If you only have time for one meditation session per day, what is the best time, morning or evening, and for how long?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.01
Written answer
- Daily meditation practice
8
2
Perhaps I'm still thinking in terms of gain and loss, but I wonder is it better to concentrate Lovingkindness on people closer or try to be universal?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Please can you comment on how to select a Right Livelihood?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.03
Written answer
- Right Livelihood
- Oskar Schindler
8
4
How to give Compassion and Lovingkindness to persons perceived as considered vain, foolish, or even evil?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
I'm keenly interested in politics, the arts, sciences and technology. Does being a Buddhist mean that I should pay less or even no interest in these things?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.05
Written answer
- Arts
- Interest
8
6
How much does Wisdom contribute to Equanimity?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Why does the buzzing and the sight of mosquitoes arouse anger?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Can you give me any more practical hints with regard to keeping my meditation practice going at home?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.08
Written answer
- Daily meditation practice
- Special mindfulness activities
8
9
How can I get more into Death Reflection?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Can you tell me more about Morality please?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
What is important to keep in mind for my return to back home?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.11
Written answer
- Daily life
- Most important thing in life
8
12
My hand and/or fingers shiver from time to time. How can I work with that not exaggerating it unnecessarily?
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Because of the enormity of the days to come in this retreat I sometimes hang down and feel tired.
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.13
Written answer
- How fortunate you are
- Self-pity

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Day
Index
Question
4
1
What kind of Compassion/Lovingkindness wish would you direct towards somebody who is already dead? Would you also recommend doing Compassion/Lovingkindness towards people who have been dead for many years?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.01
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Death
4
2
How can I know whether I am enlightened or not?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.02
Written answer
- Enlightenment
4
3
Lately I feel as though rebirth could be true. However, this view must be based on speculation, right? And if it is based on speculation, then doesn't it go against the teaching given by the Buddha in the Kalama Sutta?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.03
Written answer
- Kalama Sutta
- Rebirth
4
4
Would it be wise in some situations to give up personal preferences?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Can you say something about the ten Paramittas or Ten Paramis in Theravadin Buddhism? How to develop in mind?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.05
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
4
6
At times when a sit etc. doesn't live up to my expectation, my mind gets quite agitated. Could you please give some tips here?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
I have heard you both speak of the importance of our thoughts at the moment of death. I find that I can become very worried or concerned about this, as when sudden or drastic things have happened to me, often the only thought I can recall is wanting to live.
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
How does Buddhism explain "déjà vu" and why does it happen?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.08
Written answer
- Deja vu
4
9
Do you know of any inspirational stories concerning near death experiences? I know a person who has had multiple near death experiences starting at age five. He is one of the most calm, loving and peaceful people I know, though he does not relate this to his close brushes with death. Do you think there is a relationship anyway?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.09
Written answer
- Near death experiences
4
10
I find my mind often getting excited about worldly things. Could you please explain some ways to redirect this energy?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
Could you explain rebirth and why the state of mind at the moment of death is so important?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.11
Written answer
- Rebirth
4
12
Could you please explain the difference between tranquility and equanimity ?
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.12
Written answer
- Equanimity
- Tranquility
4
13
"What does the word wif mean?"
Ref: 2003.07.x.04.13
Written answer
- Wif
8
1
Does personality belief fully vanish for one who becomes a Stream-Enterer or is that only a short moment of insight for that person? Is that person free from attachment to the eight worldly dhammas as they may not be so much concerned about what others think of them or do they still have to work on that one?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
I've heard you and Rosemary talk about some of the heaven realms. Heavenly beings having so much happiness that they forget about Dukkha and death. It seems as though some Westerners also arrange their lives, homes etc. so that is also very little Dukkha present and they have more trouble accepting it when it does come. If one was thinking about building a home, could you mention some ways in which it would be possible to make things comfortable yet not so comfortable that Dukkha and impermanence are forgotten?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Where does an Enlightened person go when they die?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.03
Written answer
- Enlightened people
- Kalama Sutta
8
4
Is an Enlightened person free from rebirths in any realms forever?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.04
Written answer
- Enlightened people
8
5
Seeing my mind often wander into unmeaningful memories of movies I've seen, I can see some of the Dukkha coming from having seen them. Could you please point out some other short memories and as well if we can use these other short memories in some beneficial way when they come up?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
Do you think it is helpful to use pictures for brief reflections as there may be no time to do it intellectually?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.06
Written answer
- Pictures for brief reflections
- Visualization
8
7
I often have difficulty reflecting on the Energy Parami. How do we distinguish sloth and torpor from actually being tired and then maybe pushing myself too far?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
When Buddhism refers to the ending of all Dukkha, does this include physical Dukkha? Is it possible in the human realm to be free from physical Dukkha?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.08
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Paranibbana
8
9
Would you please express some of your thoughts about the following words of the Buddha which go a bit like this: "Whoever sees the Dhamma, sees me, whoever sees me sees the Dhamma"? Does this mean we actually reflect about a double gem?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.09
Written answer
- Triple Gem
8
10
I find it often hard to relax and to give myself a break. Could you please give some hints on the importance of relaxing and some helpful ways of relaxing?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
The other day, Steve spoke about moral shame and moral regret in life. What about feeling moral shame about something you did, said, or thought in a dream? Is it useful to add such actions etc. to your moral shame database, so they may not occur in waking life later on?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
Could you talk more about Renunciation?
Ref: 2003.07.x.08.12
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Day
Index
Question
3
1
While reading the last newsletter thoughts came up that perhaps I don't practice in the right way. There were deep doubts about what and how I am doing my work and so on. What can I do?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Is it possible to develop generosity giving to beggars even if I know or assume that they are drug addicts or alcoholics? How much do we have to consider the receiver as well, and how does Right View and Intention apply here?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
What is the best reaction, what shall I do, if somebody I like and respect a lot gets lost in aggressive speech and thoughts? Is it ok to tell them how I feel, that I get afraid and angry too, and ask them to stop? Or should I just leave them alone and not judge their behavior?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
When we die, and if rebirth is true, what part of us is actually reborn?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
In our normal lives, is it advisable to do Wise Reflection in informal situations where we can't necessarily get into a formal meditation posture; car, bus, train, waiting in line, etc.? Also what do you think about including the people around us in the reflections?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.05
Written answer
- Outward Meditation
- Wise reflection
3
6
Usually it takes some time to understand the necessity of rules and requirements that protect Morality and other Buddhist principles in a community, in other words selflessness. But sometimes it is also necessary to break or relax a certain rule or precept to avoid greater damage or harm, as is illustrated in the story of the two monks who came to a ford where one decides to carry an elder woman to the other side because she couldn't cross the river by herself. Question, could you please give some advice how I can decide whether it is appropriate to follow a rule or relax it? Does the fetter "attachment to rites and rituals" also mean attachment to blind obedience of rules and requirements?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Do you recommend your students to eat no meat? What did the Buddha teach about this?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Sometimes I find it difficult to have Compassion and Determination present at the same time. Can you please give some advice how to develop them so that they can balance each other and they can work more together in the same situation?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
Could you please explain the concept of preference in Buddhism?
Ref: 2003.09.x.03.09
Written answer
4
1
Could you please tell us something about the relationship between Citta, heartmind, and the Five Aggregates.
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
I have a mentor at work, he is about 60 years old. He taught me a lot, and he was always very kind. Then I found out he is not kind to most other people, and after years he also turned against me. Intrigues, power, fighting, some also physical. I tried to establish a distance, but he will not allow this. What can I do besides Compassion/Lovingkindness? This is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Do you think insight is possible without suffering? I don't feel I have aversion and I don't suffer very much. Even when there is pain, I don't really suffer. Do I avoid suffering?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Steve's answer about the question regarding relaxing the rules and his advice "when in doubt keep the rule or ask other people", from the women's liberation movement I can tell a lot of examples where it is very important not to keep rules and to fight for a change. In other words, until the late 1960s in Germany, a wife needed the signature of her husband to allow her to go working. To be politically active for women's rights is very important in my life, not thinkable without changing rules or laws, and doubt about rules and laws is very important. So what is a wise dealing with doubts about rules and laws?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Why are your retreats absolutely identical, I mean your talks?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.05
Written answer
- Change
- Retreats
4
6
What are some methods we can use for dealing with feelings of self-righteousness?
Ref: 2003.09.x.04.06
Written answer
5
1
How can I react wisely when I discover that friends don't take the initiative to keep in touch with me and hardly ever reply to my emails? They all have fairly busy lives, some are Dhamma friends, one from times of high school. Even by working with the eight worldly dhammas and reflecting on death it's hard to keep equanimous after some time.
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.01
Written answer
- Friends
- Friendship
5
2
My partner and I are trying to make up our mind whether to try to have children or not. Different ideas and thoughts arise. Shall we better spend our money or time for meditation, or will we deepen our compassion when having a child? Shall we give another being the chance to grow up with the Dhamma, or better to help those who are already alive? Maybe work at a meditation center or a Buddhist orphanage?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
If I have the choice between making one retreat in winter at Wat Kow Tahm and one at Waldhaus next year or making the 20-day retreat next year what would you recommend?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.03
Written answer
- 20-day retreat
5
4
Please tell the story about The Keeper of Patience.
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Yesterday you talked about the Five Aggregates and how Dukkha arises at the point where Mental Formations are "born". At which point is our Kamma made? Is it the mental formations also? If so can we have more analytic thoughts without making, causing, Kamma? In other words, say when we try to understand how something works like a process, a machine?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.05
Written answer
- Kamma
- Mental formations
5
6
If Dukkha may manifest at any moment, (and it does for sure) how can I be responsible of my own Dukkha?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
Please explain in more detail how the mind process works when we try to increase beneficial qualities and try to decrease unbeneficial ones? How does sense contact, thought, work in-between? Are beneficial qualities processed in-between right thinking and some wise reactions and mental formations? Is consciousness just guiding this process?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Please speak about Stream-Entry, the conditions for it and the effects of it. What are the steps on the way and how do you recognize that you have achieved stream-entry? How possible is it for lay people in the West to become a Stream-Enterer?
Ref: 2003.09.x.05.08
Written answer
8
1
Please talk about the Dedication of Merits, what happens in doing so, does our good Kamma flow over to others like good energy? Or do we only use this as a technique for our own determination? Do my parents automatically share my good Kamma even though they might not agree with my way of living?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
I read in a book that you can "grow into" the virtues which are included in the Five Precepts. It was described that if you start feeling resistance within, to break any of them gradually. Is this comparable to Moral Dread?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Can you please talk about the Salt in the Water and the Wif word?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Can you say something about the letting go of the Ego?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.04
Written answer
- Ego
- Happiness
8
5
When using the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish in daily life, I realized the wish is coming sometimes without the warmth and heart feeling. What to do so that the wish is not just a phrase?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
What did Yasodhara do with her life after Siddhattha left her?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Could you talk about Right Speech, and how it is supported by body awareness. And also how do we practice Right Speech when giving information and giving directions, as well as in our humor?
Ref: 2003.09.x.08.07
Written answer

Singapore QA December 2003

Day
Index
Question
1
1
Is it true that humans cannot be angry with Buddha, but humans can be angry with others?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.01
Written answer
- Anger
1
2
Is Buddhism only for male adults?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.02
Written answer
- Buddhism for everyone
1
4
To train one's mind to "beginningless." What does "beginningless" mean?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.04
Written answer
1
5
The forces of hindrances in our life are plenty. How do we get rid of these?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.05
Written answer
1
6
When we begin to understand that things are impermanent, does this make things less competitive and unwilling to take challenges in life?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.06
Written answer
1
8
I've been trying to meditate for a while now, but I haven't been able to concentrate. When I do, I don't in the state of meditation. I need to know it I'm doing it right.
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.08
Written answer
1
10
When meditating, must I close my eyes?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.10
Written answer
- Balance
- Eyes
1
11
Can I change my crossing leg when I meditate?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.11
Written answer
1
14
How will we know when we have reached the full meditative state, what will it feel like?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.14
Written answer
1
16
The definition of meditation is a consciously directing our attention to alter our state of consciousness.
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.16
Written answer
- Control
1
18
Sometimes I see vibrant colors, not knowing if it is a form of meditation.
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.18
Written answer
1
19
How does one get to know whether their meditation is right or wrong?
Ref: 2003.12.x.01.19
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Day
Index
Question
3
1
I get confused sometimes around the way you use sympathy, as in sympathy with people experiencing severe Dukkha. Would you be willing to explain the difference between sympathy and empathy from your understanding and teaching of compassionate understanding? I'm hopeful of getting a clear distinction of terms here, my need for clarity and deeper understanding.
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.01
Written answer
- Empathy
- Sympathy
3
2
In the busy day's life I feel like in the formal sitting practice just to sit and watch the breath and relax. It is very difficult to think more, reflect. So what do you suggest?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Why do the Christians have a concept of heaven? Why not Nirvana?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Do you have any advice for how to deal with difficult people in daily life? Should we give them extra attention and extra time in our Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Why does walking the Noble Eightfold Path lead to the cessation of ignorance and craving?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.05
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Noble Eightfold Path
3
6
Sometimes I find myself feeling strong feelings of self-pity. Although I am aware of them, I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed and find it difficult to let them go. What are some techniques that I could use?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.06
Written answer
- How fortunate you are
- Self-pity
3
7
Please, when or how do we know what is Right View and what is wrong view? Sometimes I think the view I have is right, but it turns out to be wrong, and opposite too.
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Can you please explain what is meant by choiceless awareness?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.08
Written answer
- Four Great Efforts
- Choiceless awareness
3
9
How can you wish Compassion/Lovingkindness to someone who died already? Do you mean it for their next life?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
Please, what is your opinion, is it better to stop a cat if we see him or her to hunt or play with the mouse which is still living? Is it good to save a life? Is it not against the nature?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
Could you please talk about how to investigate or reflect on the Noble Eightfold Path in a formal or informal way?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.11
Written answer
- Noble Eightfold Path
3
12
I'm feeling more and more detached from the West these days and cannot relate to the common citizen. I thought I would feel more at home here, but I don't. Nothing seems to be penetrating through to me, can't smell, can't taste, can't feel, feels like my senses have been eroded. Any advice?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.12
Written answer
- Odd ones
4
1
Please can you give us some advice how to develop morality in our daily life.
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.01
Written answer
- Compassion
- Morality
4
2
Could you please give few words of explanation to your statement "having the Patience Parami perfected is almost the same as being enlightened."
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.02
Written answer
- Patience
4
3
Could you please explain the difference between patience and equanimity?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.03
Written answer
- Equanimity
- Patience
4
4
Do you advise, for when you don't understand or misunderstand a guided meditation instruction by missing a word or not knowing a word, to do D/D, thinking that there are people who understand less than us, or are not taught at all?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.04
Written answer
- D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Dukkha
4
5
Please, what is the most beneficial thought we can have at the time of our death? If the process is fast, by an accident, or if we have time to see our death coming. If my doctor tells me next week "you have bad cancer and you have three months before dying," what is the most beneficial thing to do during those three months?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
How can we know what is bad and what is good? For example, a young girl is working as a prostitute. We don't know why she is doing such a job. Maybe forced to do it. Is she bad?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
How can we learn to abstain, or stop from judgment, judging others in our mind? How to start?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
I think I heard you once say that self-pity is a form of self-hatred, could you please explain this a little more?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.08
Written answer
- Self-hatred
- Self-pity
4
9
I still feel quite hesitant to talk with people interested in Dhamma, due to my missionary tendencies. Any hints for me to deal with that?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.09
Written answer
- Friends
- Missionary
5
1
Why do we do standing meditation? What for? Why shall we do at least 30/40 minutes even if it is not comfortable, what is the reason for it?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.01
Written answer
- Sport
- Standing meditation
5
2
In some situations I feel strong determination, but in some there is just the energy at the beginning but slowly the energy dissipates. So how can I know where to put more effort and energy, and where not? Is it sometimes with all the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Last night, after the evening meditation I felt deep compassion and enormous sorrow. This morning when I recall all these various people, I feel powerless and angry. I hope that some deeper understanding of the Compassion and Equanimity Reflection would support my being able to stay with the compassion and let go of the helplessness and anger. Would you be willing to speak again about the compassion and equanimity reflection? And maybe about ten more times after that? I really want to understand this valuable reflection.
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
In the past I did damage my body and mind a lot as a neurotic workaholic, always wanting to do more than I can, afraid to be not good enough. I see the same happening in meditation. Many times I feel ill after a retreat, doubting about if I do too much or too little makes me very tired. How to balance, how to become more natural?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Why do we stop at the end of each walking track?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.05
Written answer
- Walking meditation
5
6
Yesterday evening in Rosemary's meditation she said that seeing someone's inner potential was the balancing of Compassion with Lovingkindness. Can you talk more about this and other ways to balance these, too?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
Please, sometimes while I am doing reflections my mind starts to crave different stories or stupid thoughts, totally drift away. What is good to do in such a situation?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Mental noting
- Reflection
5
8
What is the relationship between Generosity and Equanimity? And between Morality and Equanimity?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
Please, if at the time of death if we have not the Kamma for a human rebirth or even for an animal's rebirth, what are the other possibilities? And can we help somebody who is dying to get a good rebirth even if his Kamma is not so good? Can we influence his or her mind in a beneficial way?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
In Thailand there are a lot of spirit houses in the gardens. Is this for some "people's minds" look on a way from one life to another? If it is something like that, is it possible for us to help these spirits to get out from this state?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
It is obvious that an unpleasant feeling, Vedana, is Dukkha. It is also clear why a pleasant feeling is Dukkha. But why is a neutral feeling Dukkha?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Vedana
5
12
If something is known by heart, what does this imply for the person that knows by heart?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.12
Written answer
5
13
Should I integrate those feelings of bliss, calm, which are side effects on the path and not an end in itself, into the Sympathetic Joy meditation?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.13
Written answer
5
14
I observe scratching my head quite often and regularly during the retreat. What can I do?
Ref: 2004.01.x.05.14
Written answer
8
1
How can we keep the awareness of the mental Dukkha in our daily life more awake?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
What is the relationship between impermanence and "not self", or the Pali word, Anatta?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Can you please translate Wat Kow Tahm?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.03
Written answer
- Wat Kow Tahm
8
4
What do you think of the following three events: the first step on the moon, the Fall of the Berlin wall, and three, the leaving of his palace by the Buddha to be on his search for deeper peace and happiness?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Always I forget to do Compassion/Lovingkindness reflection while entering a room, but I remember later. Any advice how to make my mindfulness faster?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
How to forgive someone who committed suicide? I work on this but inside I recognize a lot of anger. And where do those buddies go? What is the Kamma?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.06
Written answer
- Suicide
8
7
Please what is the relationship between Honesty, Truthfulness, and Sincerity?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Humility. I have heard both Steve and Rosemary speak several times about humility yet never use the word. At least that is what my interpretation of what Steve and Rosemary were speaking about. It is not one of the Paramis either, so what is the place of humility in the overall picture of compassionate understanding?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
So all of our possessions, our body, our relatives and friends, all of this is impermanent and not ours. But how about the mind? Maybe it is also impermanent, not ours. Does it matter if we know the answer or not? In any case our good and efforts will benefit the world and make ourselves a happier person less affected by Dukkha. Can one practice the Dhamma from such a perspective?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.09
Written answer
- Actual practice
- Intellectual
8
10
Petty judgments arise all the time, such as I don't like the color of those pants or the way her hair curls. Is it valuable to work on these as aversion?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
Regarding fame and obscurity, can there be a beneficial type of getting attention which is different than just craving for fame? How important is it that others get our attention as well as praise? How to deal with people who want a lot of attention and sometimes give one the feeling of guilt if one is not always giving it?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
Is sadness or grief a type of self-pity? Would you advise to deal with each one in a different way? Can it be helpful to understand more about the causes for sadness and how to prevent going into self-pity at the same time?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Is development of our Paramis depending on Right Understanding and Right Attitude, Right Effort, or what else? Is it not when one is practicing meditation for long times it comes automatically with? What can we do and focus on?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.13
Written answer
- Noble Eightfold Path
- Paramis
8
14
Ever since you asked the question, cut your legs off or renounce the Dhamma, no lying, I felt perplexed by the question. We know that we are not what we think, what we think we will do in the future seems to have little bearing on what we will do in that moment. Nobody knows what we will do in a future moment, we can have a present intention to do something in the future, what we think we will do is just thoughts. Correct? So, I know you do not toy with people and your questions are usually intended to inspire us to look inside ourselves, what is your intention behind this question? What learning do you hope to inspire in us?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.14
Written answer
8
15
What are the Seven Suitables for practice? And how can we realize them if we are living in the West?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.15
Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2004

Day
Index
Question
3
1
I find great difficulty arousing compassion for those who have food and shelter, even those driven to desperation and suicide.
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
When I did walking meditation recently I managed to let go of all thought easily. However when restlessness arose again, I changed to close-up awareness in order to let go again. It seemed to work. Do you think this is a suitable method to use in this situation?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Having observed various unbeneficial conditioning, like the eight worldly dhammas, achievement mind, the competitive drive and comparing myself with others during my second 20-day retreat, even on the spiritual level, can I have some more hints for returning to the West?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Can you please give me a proper technique to work with conceit?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
What is there to keep in mind wif I return home?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
This is not really a Dhamma question, this is a physical question. I have tensions in my shoulder and knee area. Could you please comment on the sitting posture.
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
I observe that my mind worries and plans a lot about the future. Is this maybe due to doing too much death reflection?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
The sitting posture makes problems, I become a little impatient with it. Can you help?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.08
Written answer
- Broken back
- Sitting posture
3
9
Sometimes I wonder what I am going to do in my life with all these insights into the Dhamma.
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
How should I react towards cruel, raw, immoral actions which I would never ever commit, let alone intend to do, thought of it or dreamt of, yet which seemed to overflow my mind?
Ref: 2004.04.x.03.10
Written answer
4
1
Can I be a Buddhist and not believe in rebirth?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Rosemary explained equanimity very clearly yesterday. How can we apply it when suddenly everything seems to happen at once, all of equal importance, and one becomes almost overwhelmed?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Being brought up Christian, I wondered what happened to God?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
I can't help recalling my first retreat - the monk's hut and path that I used to sweep (this is at Wat Kow Tahm for those of you who haven't been there yet), the term "once-returner" and "go forth with heedfulness", these sorts of things, they all give me a lot of energy. They are a refuge for me also. And on this retreat, once again, they are from time to time inspiration. The energy that I got on the first retreat I can always savor. What other energy should I concentrate and build on? Should I put effort in simple and subtle things that give one energy?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Sometimes you can see somebody suffering due to unwise choices they've made. I'm inclined to hope that they're suffering deeply in order to help them in the long run and lead to greater awareness. This does not seem to be the compassionate thing to do, even though I am wishing for their growth.
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
When one looks back on one's life, there's a feeling of inevitability about it all. Or to put it another way, that it was meant to happen. Is this by chance or was it really meant to happen? Does this take away freedom of choice in what we do?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
For a Westerner, non-attachment to material objects is an area of the practice I am developing without major difficulties. However, non-attachment to family, friends, and my daughter in particular, is extremely difficult. How can I work on this?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
Evil triumphs when good people do nothing. By staying detached from world events such as war and politics, are we doing nothing?
Ref: 2004.04.x.04.08
Written answer
5
1
When in a hall with a Buddhist statue, before and after a formal meditation we bow to the Triple Gem. We're not bowing to the manmade statue, why then do we not bow to the Triple Gem when meditating in rooms with no statue?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
One thing has always puzzled me, and Steve saying that if we don't ask questions we'll be reborn stupid in the next life has brought it up again. If we are reborn stupid, we, who we are now, won't know about it, so why should we worry about the next life?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
One can't help reading about breaking up of relationships, divorce, etc. If one loses one's trust in a person, can it ever be regained? Is there a special technique which would help?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Can you please explain intuition, and how this differs from wisdom? Is this an innate thing to be developed in everyone, or something to be developed in practice?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Why doesn't the body want to sit still?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Are there any living people today who have perfected all the Paramis?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.06
Written answer
- Arahant
- Teachers
5
7
Is tidiness seen as a Buddhist virtue, how about other Protestant virtues like hard work, thrift, abstinence, etc.?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Once again I experience different kinds of concentration phenomena, especially a strong pain in the heart area. How can I react properly?
Ref: 2004.04.x.05.08
Written answer
8
1
In the 20 Suttas that you prepare and email out to old students, if they want it, why did you choose those specific Suttas apart from other Suttas?
Ref: 2004.04.x.08.01
Written answer
- Twenty Suttas
- Sutta reading
8
2
What can we do to not be lonely?
Ref: 2004.04.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
When somebody confronts me angrily, aggressively, it seems my own anger flares instantly. Even though I am conscious of the body and of not wishing to have this mind-state, it is there. Usually in these situations, it is not possible to excuse oneself and go to the bathroom for a few minutes. Help!
Ref: 2004.04.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Sometimes at home I feel a little bit isolated, considering that within the Sangha, there are not people I can talk to about certain aspects of the practice, as they're not as experienced as I am. How can I work with this situation?
Ref: 2004.04.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Sometimes my reflections don't go deeply into my mind, they seem to be rather shallow, what is there to consider?
Ref: 2004.04.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
I feel quite a bit of pressure sometimes coming from expectations of the family, in particular my parents. How can I deal with this?
Ref: 2004.04.x.08.06
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Day
Index
Question
3
1
If one knows one is going to die how to prepare yourself? When death is really close, what type of meditation is best to use?
Ref: 2004.09.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Recently I met a person who wouldn't be alive anymore without a liver transplant 9 years ago. It made me aware of my indecisive attitude towards transplants. On one hand it could be an act of Compassion and Generosity, on the other hand some Buddhist traditions say that touching a body right after becoming brain-dead could have a negative effect on a possible rebirth. "If in doubt, don't," right?
Ref: 2004.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
To me, the goal of enlightenment is a bit abstract. How can we use it in a practical way in our daily practice? And, are there any enlightened people in the world, do you know any?
Ref: 2004.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Can you please define the Parami of Morality in a positive way? By this I mean, I often see Morality as a list of things not to do, don't steal, don't lie. How do we look at Morality as a positive list, in other words, being truthful or being generous and so on?
Ref: 2004.09.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Are there doubts which are beneficial and support the reflective and investigative quality of the mind regarding one's habits, self images, etc.? And how to distinguish between them and self-doubt, which is harmful. When do I know which doubt I shall give my attention to and which not?
Ref: 2004.09.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Concerning doing Compassion/Lovingkindness before walking - the special mindfulness activity - could you please explain how to balance Compassion for the insects which might die when I walk in the need to walk, because sometimes as a response to the Compassion/ Lovingkindness comes the feeling that I shouldn't walk?
Ref: 2004.09.x.03.06
Written answer
4
1
Can we ever be free from physical Dukkha?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.01
Written answer
- Doctors
- Physical Dukkha
4
2
Please, do explain why it is beneficial for the meditation practice not to have any alcohol?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Can flowers, stones experience pain?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Can animals somehow, some day escape from their Dukkha, get out of their conditions?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Can you, please, describe the Four Levels of Enlightenment?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
How can we best help a dying relative?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
What benefits can died loved ones have from our doing Compassion/ Lovingkindness for them?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
What do you mean when you say we have to be aware of when a problem exists, and when it doesn't exist Dukkha doesn't exist?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
What do you mean by settling back? Is it the same as stepping back?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
Among scientists it is said that a good relationship between parents and child needs deep attachment, yet Buddhism teaches an attitude of non-attachment. How to combine this as a Buddhist parent in the relationship with one's child?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
Is the sequence of The Ten Paramis purely coincidental? Does strengthening the first automatically help in strengthening the second? In other words, how are they related?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.11
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
- Generosity
4
12
How can we let go of the eight worldly dhammas in daily life?
Ref: 2004.09.x.04.12
Written answer
5
1
How can you teach children how to deal with aversion and desire?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
What would Buddhists say about marriage? What about adultery?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
What is reborn? Is it the ego, the mind, the consciousness or the personality?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Are there any enlightened people in other religious ways?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Can you, please, give an example of a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish to animals?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.05
Written answer
- Animals
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
5
6
Is being gay based on wrong understanding?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.06
Written answer
- Gay
- Homosexuality
5
7
When I face very uncomfortable feelings like mourning, I have a tendency to let myself fall into sloth and torpor. How can I try to prevent hiding myself from these feelings in a wise way?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Can you please explain what the Jhanas are? Is it important to have them and to recognize them?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
In the very early days of Christianity, reincarnation was not rejected. Could it be that the reincarnation of a soul is in fact the same as reincarnation of Kamma?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
How does Buddhism define ego and where receives the ego its energy from?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
The Tibetan Buddhists call the Theravadin Buddhism the "Small Car" or the "Small Way," yet they consider physical exercises as most important. Do you know how it came to such a different view according to the scriptures?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.11
Written answer
5
12
I wonder why there are quite a few lists of beneficial qualities, Paramis, 7 Factors of Enlightenment, Brahma Viharas, 5 Spiritual Powers. Do you know why the Buddha created these and whether he preferred one of these to the others?
Ref: 2004.09.x.05.12
Written answer
8
1
In general, is it wise to share insights in a retreat, or with non-meditators?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
My eight year old child needs glasses and some of her girl friends take fun on this and say bad things about it. She got strong reactions. Could you, please, help me suggesting some wise reflections which will enable her to avoid some unwise reactions and heal her pain?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Could you, please, explain the Five Precepts and what is their importance?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Is it from a Buddhist point of view better to bury or to burn human corpses?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.04
Written answer
- To bury or to burn
8
5
Reflecting on "How Fortunate I Am" very often turns into a "May I be able to enjoy all my fortunes." Often I find it difficult to take joy from them when I compare myself to most people in the world. The feeling of injustice arises accompanied by the desire to give up my practice. The thought arises, isn't it unkind - towards all the sufferings in the world, spending one's life seeking such a lofty state as happiness, liberation?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
When I think of the Buddha and that he perfected the Ten Paramis, I don't feel I have that same human potential. How to have more trust in my human potential?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
I have a friend who's had abortions in the past. The remorse that they feel helps them in reflecting of the dangers of unawareness and it renews their resolution to be mindful of their actions, thoughts and speech throughout the day. It also strengthens their confidence in the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha. What else can they do?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.07
Written answer
- Abortion
- Giving
8
8
The Tibetan book of death and life has a detailed description of what happens when one dies. Do you know if this is true and based on the scriptures? Does Theravada have a similar book or description of the process of dying?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
How does experiential understanding of reality and transcendental wisdom relate to each other?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.09
Written answer
- Experiential understanding
- Wisdom
8
10
How can I balance using all the techniques?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
Can you explain determination?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
What is important to keep in mind when meeting other meditation teachers?
Ref: 2004.09.x.08.12
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Day
Index
Question
3
1
When we have deep regret about blamable actions that we have done or been part of, how can we learn to skillfully let go of them? Particularly if we have not perceived any blame for these actions we may even receive respect, as others assume you have not been involved in blamable actions.
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
When we find that we are being judgmental and critical of other people in the mind, not vocally, how can we deal with it? Can we bend that energy to help us to reflect deeper? What is the cause?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
When we have deep conditioning for things and we know they're unbeneficial, how can we force a letting go?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What are the benefits of investigating into the hindrances, how they arise? Is it just for attaining better concentration, how does it help understanding Dukkha and its causes?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
While having Compassion for somebody, you just look from the outside or is it more beneficial to try and see with this person's eyes?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Could you talk a little bit more about the Parami of Renunciation?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
When the Tsunami occurred I was already in Thailand. I felt not as shocked and surprised as many of the people back home though I see a lot of Compassion for those people's families. Maybe I seem cold to some people because I don't react as they do.
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Would you kindly explain Dependent Origination?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
I heard Compassion is the flower of meditation. Is there a difference between cultivating Compassion and the Compassion that arises naturally after flowering in meditation?
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
Please can you explain what "intention is Kamma" means. Thank you.
Ref: 2005.01.x.03.10
Written answer
4
1
Please what can we do with laziness, any advice?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
What about if the intention is right but the action goes wrong, what would be the Kamma?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
When we see what we perceive to be beautiful people and objects and desire and attachment arise. How can we reflect on this other than using Impermanence?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
I have received many benefits from meditation, like being able to relate to other people and help them. I also stopped smoking and drink very little, but sometimes I feel like I used to have more fun back then. Am I turning into a vegetable?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
What is the cause for attachment to fame? How can we let go of it?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
If you are respected by someone because of ideas or impressions they have of you which are incorrect because they do not have the full facts, should you correct this wrong view by being truthful even if it would cause them suffering?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Sometimes I get the impression that louder people often get what they want while quiet people miss out. Could you please talk about that?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
It seems that at times my anger is stronger than previously. Am I just more aware of it or am I doing something wrong?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.08
Written answer
- Anger
- Cleaning a big house
4
9
Could you please talk about the wrong view that tranquility is boring.
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
I see Compassion/Lovingkindness as a unity. What is the special quality in each?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
Do you believe that chanting can help our mental development? How?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.11
Written answer
4
12
There seems no end to desires. How do we cut the root of desire?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.12
Written answer
- Desire
4
13
Is it possible to substitute formal practice with reflections in daily life?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.13
Written answer
4
14
In Herman Hesse, Siddhartha dives deep into the life, like gambling and games and other things. How important is this ride or niche to the Buddhist practice. To live the desire does Buddha quote on this experience in his teachings?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.14
Written answer
4
15
Could you please explain the desire for existence and becoming?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.15
Written answer
- Desire for existence and becoming
4
16
I have heard some people say that Buddha relics give some sort of protection. Also that it is good to practice meditation close to them. Do you think this is true?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.16
Written answer
- Buddha relics
4
17
What is the relationship between awareness and self-consciousness?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.17
Written answer
- Awareness
- Self-consciousness
4
18
Could you talk about Mara please.
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.18
Written answer
- Ignorance
- Mara
4
19
Would you elaborate more on how to balance compassion with equanimity?
Ref: 2005.01.x.04.19
Written answer
5
1
What is Samata tranquility meditation? Does lovingkindness and compassion meditation and the Five Reflections belong to Samata or Vipassana meditation?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
How to explain to a good friend that indulging sensual pleasure will lead to Dukkha? If he is not practicing awareness and also not seeing the outcome of it. (maybe to care and not to care).
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Through observing the mind, I sometimes find that I miss being in the moment more than observing. I observe myself, observe myself, but, I miss life and the moment. For example, I sit and laugh with others, but can not enjoy the moment because I am observing all the time. It becomes an obsession. Can you help?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
What is the best way to increase our energy and strength when we feel that Mara is getting too strong for us?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
What are the differences between Mahayana Buddhism and Theravadin Buddhism? How to keep our view in harmony with their view point.
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
What about the following reason to help others: Their pain is worse than mine, so I can forget my own pain. Feeling useful and important makes me feel better, as well as having a strong desire to make others happy. If other people are happy, I can be happy. If I don't want or cannot help others, I feel guilty. Sometimes helping others seems like an addiction, causing harm to myself. How can I stop asking too much of myself?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
Could you kindly list the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
5
8
Poverty and disease equals bad Kamma. Health and wealth equals good Kamma. Is that right?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
What can I do if I see an animal heavily injured, maybe only living for a couple of hours and suffering a lot?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
What is the concept of rebirth in Theravadin Buddhism?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.10
Written answer
- Moment-to-moment rebirth
- Rebirth
5
11
I realize that in Buddhism we have to take the Five Precepts. The first precept is not to kill. What is the right view of war and when a country is defending themselves from the invader?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.11
Written answer
5
12
What is the meaning of the animals surrounding some Buddha statues?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.12
Written answer
- Deer
5
13
Concerning walking meditation, when is it more appropriate to develop a focused awareness and when is it more appropriate to develop a broader awareness?
Ref: 2005.01.x.05.13
Written answer
- Walking meditation
6
8
What is the best way to cultivate patience and how do we balance patience with the urgency that arises from death reflection?
Ref: 2005.01.x.06.08
Written answer
8
1
There are two parts to this question. First part; is unsatisfactoriness a curse or blessing? It keeps us on the search, keeps us meditating.
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.01
Written answer
- Unsatisfactoriness
8
2
There is no body, no mind and everything is constantly changing. Who am I? And who is conditioned, and who is the conditioner?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.02
Written answer
- Who am I?
8
3
Referring to the intention being Kamma, what if parents beat their children, scaring them to death with a good intention to raise them to be good people?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.03
Written answer
- Intention
- Mixed Kamma
8
4
My legs keep falling asleep when I sit cross legged. Should I bend the torso back more?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.04
Written answer
- Legs going to sleep
8
5
When we accept life as it is, why do we save a millipede only for it to die in peace later but create Dukkha for the ants?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.05
Written answer
- Ants
- Millipedes
8
6
Is there a special Compassion/Lovingkindness wish if we know close friends or relatives are going to die or have just died. How can we help them and us?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
When I greet a monk or a nun, how high do I wai? Or for a normal person?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.07
Written answer
- Thai tradition
8
8
What could be the reason if you lose money or if money just won't come to you?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Law of Kamma
- Money
8
9
What did the Buddha say about the equality of men and women, are nuns and monks equal?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.09
Written answer
- Equality
- Monks and Nuns
8
10
Can you explain about child monks?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.10
Written answer
- Novice monks
8
11
How can we try to prevent becoming caught up in the stories of the past when reflecting on Kamma?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.11
Written answer
- Caught up in the stories
- Mental noting
8
12
Steve has mentioned before that the Buddha had no opinion on certain things. May I know what these things are and why?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.12
Written answer
- Opinions
8
13
If someone is born as an animal, has he or she any chance to develop their Paramis?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.13
Written answer
8
14
How do you advise sending a feeling of Lovingkindness or thought formulated wish?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.14
Written answer
- Sending Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Wishing Compassion/Lovingkindness
8
15
When I do the reflections, sometimes my head gets very tired. What is the best thing to do? Naming the feeling, concentrating on it, when it doesn't go away see aversion arise as well as doubt? Reflect on death, Lovingkindness or just relax?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.15
Written answer
8
16
What can I do with insects in the garden? Especially if they are over breeding, too many, eating all the vegetables and fruit. Is it not right to use any chemicals to kill them? What about fleas, lice and scabies, etc?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.16
Written answer
8
17
Please, how can I develop the Energy Parami?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.17
Written answer
- Death reflection
- Energy
8
18
How can mental and body awareness in sitting be balanced?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.18
Written answer
- Balance
- Hammer story
8
19
Considering the hindrance of Doubt from a different angle. How do you deal with people who have no doubt about their actions, speech and thought and their abilities?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.19
Written answer
- Doubt
- Wrong View
8
20
Please how can Patience be practiced in our daily life?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.20
Written answer
- Patience
- Waiting
8
21
How can you develop Resolution?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.21
Written answer
8
22
What do you think about a meditator who visits prostitutes every once in a while? What can you say if you are discussing it with them?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.22
Written answer
- Prostitution
8
23
What is the difference between reflecting and concentrated thinking about a subject in order to write about it for example?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.23
Written answer
- Concentrated thinking
- Reflection
8
24
My understanding will have to progress a lot further and science also, before I can comprehend Kamma. Something like genes and DNA that hang in there for generations. That everyone in the past for example, Pol Pot or Hitler or the Chinese deserve what they got. This is possible of course, but this leads to the fact that we are all sinners especially since our mind stream has been accumulated forever. How is this useful?
Ref: 2005.01.x.08.24
Written answer

Singapore QA January 2005

Day
Index
Question
1
2
Should I forgive someone who keeps repeating the same mistake? Especially when the person has asked for forgiveness and promised not to repeat that mistake?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.02
Written answer
1
4
I have a tendency to control the breath during meditation. Teachers often ask me to relax, but I find it difficult to relax and to relieve the tension in my body. Any tips on how to relax?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.04
Written answer
1
5
How do you know you are practicing correctly?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.05
Written answer
1
7
Is meditation linked to a religion and are the benefits mainly spiritual and mental? Does it benefit one's health?
Ref: 2005.02.x.01.07
Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Day
Index
Question
3
1
From the guided Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation yesterday, I could just arouse compassion for a suicide, but a murder is quite beyond me. Is it a case of separating the person from the deed?
Ref: 2005.04.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Please can you explain the levels of attainment (i.e. stream enterer, once returner, non-returner)?
Ref: 2005.04.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
I'm a little confused about the Parami of Energy. I used to think it was the same as Determination but now I noticed that resolution is also called Determination.
Ref: 2005.04.x.03.03
Written answer
- Determination
- Energy
3
4
In the retreat we should avoid communication. Sometimes I see someone in trouble and wish I could help a person, and this is not possible without any communication. So, what is your advice for these situations?
Ref: 2005.04.x.03.04
Written answer
4
1
With observation, I have found it quite easy to see that the comfort of a person's material circumstances does not result in peace and wealth in the mind. I have met wealthy people who have poverty in the mind. But how is it then that the Buddha said that such poverty in the mind will result in poor circumstances upon rebirth. Shouldn't there be few poor people with wealth in the mind as a result and few rich people with poverty in the mind. In my experience this is not the case. Have such people changed dramatically in youth for either better or worse?
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
A friend is so in the moment, but I find he's not there. I feel like I'm talking to no one. Depersonalized, I'm sure he's missing the point somehow.
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Did the Buddha ever give precise teachings about dying and the after-death states similar to the Tibetan teachings?
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Are there any enlightened people living that we can see as opposed to having as teachers, or do they stay quiet to avoid attention?
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.04
Written answer
- Enlightened people
4
5
Would it be beneficial to skip the evening meal? In other words, no food after midday during the retreat.
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.05
Written answer
- Food after midday
4
6
On my first trip to a monastery in Taiwan, I was told by a Monk, "You don't exist." As an attention grabber this was certainly powerful. I have never really got more than the most tenuous grip on the word Anatta, a Pali word in Buddhism, though I'm sure my anger feeds my ego and vice versa. Do you see non-self or not-self as being literally true at some level or do I really "not exist"?
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
A teacher once told me that "if there ain't no Dukkha there ain't no practice". Now I thought this was a bit strong. What do you think?
Ref: 2005.04.x.04.07
Written answer
5
1
Recently I have become interested in "lucid dreaming". That is becoming aware of what one is dreaming and then taking control of what happens in the dream. Do you see any benefit or harm from my practice of doing this?
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.01
Written answer
- Dreams
- Lucid dreaming
5
2
Should we avoid coffee and tea during the retreat?
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Can you suggest any tips on working with subtle boredom? I have a lot of trouble catching it.
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
How does one get the balance between how fortunate I am to have what I have and being depressed because my needs are not being met?
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
I fear I'm not deadly serious about death reflection. Is " We'll all go some times, so let's get on with it" quite sufficient?
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Can you please tell me something about the balance between Compassion and Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.06
Written answer
- Compassion
- Lovingkindness
5
7
Regarding the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for all the beings that will die during our walking meditation: is this for all beings who will die anywhere in the whole world during this time or is it for beings who will die as a result of our walking?
Ref: 2005.04.x.05.07
Written answer
8
1
Yesterday Rosemary said that some people may be attached to pleasant sound, and on reflection I realized that I may be one of them, and equally to pleasant sights, smells, touch and thoughts. Other than going to live in an industrial slum, what can I do about it?
Ref: 2005.04.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
Is compassion to animals wild and domestic different to compassion to humans, what about insects and plants?
Ref: 2005.04.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
How can we grow in resolution?
Ref: 2005.04.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Sometime I play the same painful story over and over again in my head. I know intellectually it is a ridiculous thing to do as it causes me great suffering. I go to the breath - I get settled and next thing I know I'm doing it again. There's got to be some way to get out of it but I can't see it.
Ref: 2005.04.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
When I saw that even by dumping water I have to kill living beings, I started to get worried about taking other lives. How can I work with that?
Ref: 2005.04.x.08.05
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Day
Index
Question
3
1
What are the dangers why we're going to refuge to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
In the Kalama Sutta the Buddha gives 10 reasons on which not to base religious beliefs. Could you please give an example for the following reflecting on reasons, grounds for the reliability of a person, point of view or inference, reasons or arguments.
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
When doing the D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation in full on a topic, for example loneliness, do we make a general Compassion/Lovingkindness wish or one specific to loneliness as we go through different people at different ages?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.03
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness wish
- Short Compassion/Lovingkindness wish
3
4
If, after meditating on Death, there's a heavy feeling in the mind, what would be a good follow up meditation so that we deepen the reflection yet also lighten the mind?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Some teachers have public interviews and confessions with their students. I've also heard that the Monks in some monasteries have a monthly confession ceremony for when they break their precepts. Did the Buddha encourage public confessions? Can it be beneficial to publicly confess one's misjudgments in morality?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Courage seems quite essential to walk the path. Can you please say something about courage and how we can cultivate it?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Please could you say something about the letting go of fixed self-images, especially negative ones.
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
In yesterday's guided meditation we were supposed to feel compassion for a lonely guy in the corner shooting smack. Fair enough. Then later we find out he has two kids who he decides to murder. Why should I feel compassion for him? If he has two kids he has no right to be shooting up with smack. He deserves a slap and being dragged to a rehabilitation center, that would be compassion. It might help if your comments on this would broaden in my understanding.
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
I am afraid of making mistakes like saying or doing something wrong. How can I change this?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
What is the difference between reincarnation and rebirth?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.10
Written answer
- Rebirth
- Reincarnation
3
11
Can you talk about the mind and the soul. How close are they to each other, can they get separated from each other?
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.11
Written answer
- Citta
- Soul
3
12
In yesterday's meditation we were asked to imagine someone age 65, same sex, someone age 55, same sex, someone age 50, opposite sex, and so on. I don't know anyone those ages. How can I imagine someone if I don't know what they look like? I guess I need some suggestions for visualization.
Ref: 2005.07.x.03.12
Written answer
4
1
Can you please tell us what the Buddha says about Right and wrong livelihood?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Please could you say more about wise spiritual friends and how they help our practice?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
What is your favorite simile from the scriptures at the moment, and why?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Yesterday Steve spoke about courage and not drinking beer. Could you please explain in more detail the benefits of not drinking, even just a little bit?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Can you please talk about Vedana?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
Can you please talk about sharing good Kamma?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Concerning self-pity, often when I'm not feeling well, I have the urge to talk about it. Yet I also know that I need to avoid indulging in self-pity. Sometimes I think it is better to say nothing, yet I know that not feeling well affects my mood and interactions. So I do think it's better that my friends around me know I'm having some challenges. I also know talking about it sometimes brings some relief. What are your thoughts on this?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
How does one prevent Equanimity turning/changing/sliding/falling into indifference?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.08
Written answer
- Equanimity
- Indifference
4
9
Yesterday you mentioned a ritual with the monks where they apologize for anything they may have done which hurt another. I think learning how to apologize is very important, yet when an apology is so general it doesn't seem to have any reflection on actual unskillful actions or speech. Is it more an exercise in humility?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
If we respect the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha when we're a Buddhist, can we also believe in God at the same time?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
We own not our body, we don't have a soul, we own not our mind, what is it that is being reborn?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.11
Written answer
- Consciousness
- Vinnana
4
12
How big a role does food play in Buddhism? Do you have to be a vegetarian to be a true Buddhist? Is it more beneficial to your mental development if you're a vegetarian?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.12
Written answer
5
1
What does Compassion feel like?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
In my mind I create what I think others are thinking of me or what they're expecting of me. This gives me negative thoughts about myself and it feels like a burden. How can I let go of these thoughts?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Could you please explain the difference between a view, a belief, an opinion and a theory?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Does Compassion for oneself mean never falling in love (as the end of love is pain and suffering)? Does Compassion mean not trying skydiving, just in case?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
What is the difference between the Buddhist Ego and the Western Ego? Are they the same or different? You are famous meditation teachers, how has that affected your ego?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
I'm not sure if I may ask this, but can you please tell us something about yourself? If my questions are inappropriate then please just put them aside. Thank you.
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.06
Written answer
- Left foot, right foot
5
7
Does eating meat contribute to wrong livelihood?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.07
Written answer
- Eating meat
- Vegetarian
5
8
Steve talked yesterday about most of the world not caring about the poverty in Africa. I also feel people who do care are confused about what they can do to help. So this lack of wisdom can limit Generosity. For example, in India I witnessed the effect of inappropriate giving where rich children actually quit school for the day to beg off tourists. Even fake schools being set up just to get money from the tourists. Sometimes it's difficult to know how and when best to help. Please comment.
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
Please could you advise on how to work with competition on a spiritual path, especially between partners, and the fear of being the foot dragging behind.
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
What do you think is the most important quality to have for yourself and others, and why?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
What is the difference between Theravadin Buddhism and other forms of Buddhism? Are there many forms of Buddhism?
Ref: 2005.07.x.05.11
Written answer
8
1
When the mind is neutral and not really interested in or not really grabbing onto a meditation subject that one has planned to reflect on, how does one arouse interest and coax the mind to become interested in the subject without making it feel forced into it?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
Do you have any tips for keeping mindfulness going during the turns in the walking meditation?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Outside the temple by the upper walking tracks is a beautiful statue of the Buddha. The Buddha is walking and holding his hand in a very strange position. The baby finger, ring finger and the middle finger are pointed towards the sky, but the index finger is curled and touches the top of the thumb. (I believe this is called a Mudra, if you can't picture it ask me and I can show you) - and his palm is forward. Well, we all know the Buddha was a very smart kind of person. So there's no way he would walk around with his hands in such a strange position without a very good reason. So I gave it a try during walking meditation last night and I found myself in a much deeper level of concentration than usual. So two questions: 1) Why did the Buddha walk around and sometimes had his hands in this position, and 2) If it helps my concentration is there any reason I shouldn't also practice walking like this?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.03
Written answer
- Buddha statue
- Concentration
8
4
Please could you give more systems for doing the Dukkha reflection?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.04
Written answer
- Broong Dtang
- Dukkha reflection
8
5
I see the aversion arise in my response to the first signs of aging. How can I let go of this fear?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
What happens if we don't have any questions to ask?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
How much sports training (body strength and body control) is helpful for mental development. What could be a wrong motivation to train the body?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
I'm having problems getting the meaning of some of the expressions used in the Pali chanting for the qualities of the Buddha. Can you please explain these: 1) well gone, 2) knower of the worlds, 3) accomplished, 4) upright conduct, and 5) field of merit.
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
Is the perfection of the Ten Paramis more an accumulative practice or an attempt for moment to moment to keep them all high?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Can you tell me more about renunciation please?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
How shall I handle the frequency of usage of all the techniques I was taught?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
Does having or rather wanting long hair have any unbeneficial effect?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.12
Written answer
- Long hair
8
13
Can you tell me more about determination, please?
Ref: 2005.07.x.08.13
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Day
Index
Question
3
1
The death of a beloved one is often such a shock, emotions of grief are so overwhelming. How can one prepare for this?
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Can you, please, talk about Truthfulness?
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
How do I learn to have more Patience? I have the feeling I have become less patient since I started meditating.
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
How do I find the balance between putting energy and effort into the practice and putting too much pressure and expectations on myself?
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Can you, please, talk about morality?
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How does Equanimity relate to Determination or Resolution and to Truthfulness?
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Can any of the methods and techniques of mental development help someone with long-term clinical depression?
Ref: 2005.09.x.03.07
Written answer
- Clinical depression
- Depression
4
1
How can I cultivate Equanimity besides reflecting about, "that the world is as it is"?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Please, talk about Renunciation.
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Would you please repeat all the different tools we were taught and what tool for what kind of work on the mind?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.03
Written answer
- Meditation tools
4
4
In this retreat and in formal meditation, I use a longer phrase for the Lovingkindness wish. In daily life I think this phrase is too long. Is it possible to use a shorter form like, "May you find inner Peace"?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.04
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness wish
- Short form reflections
4
5
Can you talk about Determination/Resolution, please? How do I get more determination to meditate in everyday life?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
Each time I try to figure out how much money I could afford to give as a donation I wonder if the Buddha gave advice concerning this, and financial matters in general?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
What happens in the moment of death according to Buddhism?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
Is time real? I've heard that people who got enlightened see, feel and experience past, present and future in the same moment.
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.08
Written answer
- Reality
- Time
4
9
What kind of reflection or Meditation can help you make right decisions about the things you want to do or change in your life, e.g. partners, jobs etc.?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
Could you, please, talk more about the importance of the Triple Gem for balance in the practice and when to use it in daily life?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
I heard that some Buddhists make a difference between eating fish and eating meat. What do you think?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.11
Written answer
- Food views
- Theravadin Buddhism
4
12
If you know you are to die very soon, e.g. one is in a crashing plane, what reflection would you try to use?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.12
Written answer
4
13
Can you, please, talk about wanting power and the opposite?
Ref: 2005.09.x.04.13
Written answer
5
1
Yesterday Rosemary said during the Death Reflection - if I remember correctly - "May so and so have done good deeds to depend upon". Could you please explain this more in detail?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
Can you talk about love between a man and a woman?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Can you please talk about conceit?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Can you please talk about the main difference between Theravadin and Tibetan Buddhism?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
In one of the Suttas, amongst others, "misconduct in sensual pleasures" is listed as wrong action, however as a lay person we still enjoy sense pleasures in varying degrees. How can we do it in a wise way and not get into misconduct?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
How can I become more independent from other people's judgements and opinions?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
Can you please talk about fear?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Do Buddhists eat sugar, sweets?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.08
Written answer
- Sugar, sweets
5
9
If you are aware that you are to die in an accident, for most people fear would be the dominant emotion, I imagine. How do you deal with this fear?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
A person who is close to me experiences a lot of Dukkha. This person is not a meditator. How can I help or sometimes even react to this person?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.10
Written answer
8
1
What about your daily formal Meditation practice?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
Can you please talk about ignorance?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
How can someone communicate with ghosts (of deaths)?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.03
Written answer
- Ghosts
8
4
Concerning truthfulness: Would you tell somebody a "not pleasant truth" when you don't have the permission?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.04
Written answer
- Truthfulness
8
5
When your words would cause more harm than your silence would it be better to remain silent?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
The Buddha left his wife and child. This makes it difficult for me to explain to my wife and children how special he was. Can you help?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Children seem to be obsessed with either liking or disliking food and accordingly wanting or not wanting to eat. Is it wise and possible to teach children the food reflection?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
If someone is dead for a long time, say 5 years, does it still make sense doing Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation and wish them well in a possible other existence?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
Could you, please, say something about Integrity?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Can you, please, talk about complacency?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
Why do we separate death and impermanence in the reflection? Don't they go together?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.11
Written answer
- Death
- Impermanence
8
12
Sometimes people commit awful cruelties so it is hard to raise compassion for them. How to do this?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Could you, please, explain the phrase, "Changing everything into the Path," more in detail?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.13
Written answer
- Changing everything into the Path
- Unpleasant physical sensation
8
14
I feel there is sometimes just a small step from feeling Equanimity to indifference. How can we prevent falling into indifference instead of Equanimity?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.14
Written answer
8
15
What are the two causes for Wisdom?
Ref: 2005.09.x.08.15
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Day
Index
Question
3
1
What are some practical ways to develop generosity?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.01
Written answer
- Generosity
3
2
What do we do with our minds during the rest periods in the retreat or outside the retreat? Automatically the mind goes back to its old conditioning: things about the past, future, having desires, etc. Any tips for what to do when I'm just taking a break?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Could you please give some tips for staying awake during the evening guided meditations?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.03
Written answer
- Sleepiness
- Staying awake
3
4
Can there be right understanding and yet wrong action? For example: I understand that eating French fries after a meal is just an indulgence, and yet I still do it after struggling with the idea for some time. Or, many people understand that smoking is bad and yet they still do it. What kind of understanding is that? Intellectual understanding, or it may be it also has to do with intentions and mindfulness?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
In a retreat many students are very serious about their practice. In one's more active life, how does one balance this when relating with people who do not share or understand the practice, and who even may disapprove or be threatened by it (for example by the silence during meals)? And how does one balance "light living" with serious practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How can I tell if a teacher is a good teacher or a bad teacher?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Is it necessary to believe that the Buddha attained perfect enlightenment? Who knows? Does it not create an unrealistic goal? Like the words of a god, for example Jesus if you are a Christian. Is it not easier just to think of watering the plants? How then, can we take refuge and feel part of a community of people who do believe that?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
What are these 16 states of mind? Can you elaborate on them?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
How can I cope with the self-aversion that I feel. When I can't think of any questions?
Ref: 2006.01.x.03.09
Written answer
4
1
Do you think the Monk who set himself on fire in protest to the war in Vietnam showed Right Action? Did he balance Compassion and Equanimity?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Sometimes big paper tigers can't throw me off balance (for example falling into aversions) as easily as small paper tigers (for example if I meet a clearly mentally unwell person my compassion is strong and I don't take things personally). But if I meet the taxi driver who is being greedy today...
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
What does D/D stand for?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.03
Written answer
- Defuse the bomb
- Defusing/Diffusing
4
4
How to practice patience, both formally and informally?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
I have a good spiritual friend who has helped me over the last few years, and I grow stronger and more aware. I realize that I came to judge myself by his standards thereby seeking his approval for my actions. What should I do? How do I keep this friendship, yet grow in my own confidence. How does one develop confidence?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
In the Satipattana Sutta (Four Foundations of Mindfulness) the Buddha talked about the "fetters" that arises from our sense contacts (eyes, ears, nose, etc.). Can you please explain what is meant with "fetters" and how we can use this teaching in our practice.
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.06
Written answer
- Fetters
- Sense doors
4
7
What is the cause or what are the causes of restlessness? What is the relationship between restlessness and impatience?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
You have taught that if you want to have nice grass you must pull some weeds. The best conditions for pulling weeds are after a rain and before the weeds start to seed. With relationships, what is the best conditions for pulling weeds? How do we know which weeds to pull and which weeds to leave and not worry about?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
I have heard you give a teaching about the aggregates in their relationships with others: the '5-10-20' teaching. I don't really understand it. Can you explain this process more deeply, breaking it down into how it works on the individual aggregates level?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
What kind of meditation do you suggest for a when I am really tired, for instance, after coming home late at night after work, and all I want to do is sleep?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.10
Written answer
- Walking meditation
4
11
Is it possible that the Buddhist tradition of reincarnation has just been borrowed from the Hindu background that it was growing up in? It is one of the few ideas that doesn't sit comfortably with the verifiable experiential teachings for this life. Should we study the reincarnation via the Scriptures, or are just not bother?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.11
Written answer
- Moment-to-moment rebirth
- Rebirth
4
12
What balance of breathing awareness and reflection would you encourage in our sitting and standing meditation, assuming walking is not a time for reflection?
Ref: 2006.01.x.04.12
Written answer
- Fifty-fifty
- Balance
5
1
Are your teachings also inspired by Jesus Christ? Your teachings seem the perfect middle way between Buddhism and Christianity in practice.
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.01
Written answer
- Christianity
- Jesus
5
2
Does laughter have a role in the practice?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
How can we develop our energy for the practice, and how can we maintain that energy?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
What questions do you ask of teachers when testing their abilities and wisdom?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.04
Written answer
- Questions
- Teachers
5
5
How important is it to have a partner who is also a serious Dhamma practitioner?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.05
Written answer
- Dhamma partners
- Partners
5
6
Could you please explain the difference between faith and devotion. And also what role they should play in our practice.
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
After death is there still Dukkha for the one who died? If there is, is it something like the hell that is taught in Christianity?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Hell
5
8
Yesterday you talked about hoping for the best but expecting the worst in our relationships. If we deal a lot with difficult people, how do we guard against becoming jaded, just believing everyone is out to get us, or just cynical about people and their motivations in general?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.08
Written answer
- Kind people
- Relationships
5
9
The question yesterday about grass and weeds, asked about when is a good time when to pull the weeds, such as after rain. Could you please give some ideas on how we can determine when is the appropriate time to pull out the weeds in our relationships.
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
In relationship to someone's feelings of increased contentment, morality and Samvega, I heard them say, "I feel a deep intuitive sense that seems to have come from more body awareness practice." What do you think about this quote?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Is there a special Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation for pregnant women and the baby in the womb?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- People who have died
5
12
Could you please tell us the story of the man wanting to learn fencing as an analogy to learn to always be on the guard for paper tigers?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.12
Written answer
5
13
Is the death reflection about future fears also Compassion/Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.13
Written answer
- Broong Dtang
- Combine reflections
5
14
Is all Dukkha meditation part of Compassion/Lovingkindness. Is a session of Dukkha reflection also one of Compassion/Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.14
Written answer
5
15
Is it ok to have one Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for all beings for one whole session?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.15
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness wish
5
16
How do we tighten the strings?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.16
Written answer
5
17
How do we loosen the strings?
Ref: 2006.01.x.05.17
Written answer
8
1
The word "aggregate", what does it mean? Can you explain some more about the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
What is the relationship between energy and resolution? Does the increase in one necessarily mean an increase in the other?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.02
Written answer
- Energy
- Resolution
8
3
How can we open more to Dukkha in our daily, often speedy life in order to strengthen compassion for ourselves and others more?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Can you go over impermanence as a separate reflection and how not being open to it leads to Dukkha?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Do you have some suggestions for doing the Compassion/ Lovingkindness meditation before going to sleep? When doing this reflection I tend to fall asleep and then wake up remembering I meant to be reflecting, then fall asleep again, then wake up again. As a result it turns out to be quite unpleasant, because I am trying to reflect half asleep.
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.05
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Sleep
8
6
When in the meditation hall meditating before the big bell rings, and then the bell rings, what would you recommend us doing while the bell is ringing. Should I carry on with whatever mediation subject I am doing, or note "hearing, hearing', or listen to the bell and reflect on the impermanence of this sound as it arises and passes while it is ringing?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.06
Written answer
- Hearing
- Meditation
8
7
How does one learn to let go of wanting to hide one's imperfections?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
On the extra requirements for old students is says the systems from A to Z of mental Dukkha, lists of professions, etc. Can this be used for Compassion/Lovingkindness? Can you give examples?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Systematic reflections
8
9
What is the Imposter Syndrome?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Is sex between consenting unmarried adults contrary to the precepts?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.10
Written answer
- Sex
8
11
Is the use of responsible modern forms of birth control and prevention contrary to the precepts?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.11
Written answer
- Abortion
- Birth control
8
12
What about prostitution?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.12
Written answer
- Compassion
- Prostitution
8
13
What is the Buddhist view on abortion?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.13
Written answer
- Abortion
8
14
How often do you recommend to do intensive death reflection on loved ones in a daily life?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.14
Written answer
- Death reflection
- Loved ones
8
15
Can you please talk more about forgiving oneself and others?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.15
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Forgiveness
8
16
How can we recognize the border between working with Unpleasant Physical Sensations and pushing pain? What is the danger of working with pushing pain?
Ref: 2006.01.x.08.16
Written answer

Singapore QA January 2006

Day
Index
Question
1
1
For a person who is new or has limited experience in meditation is your retreat suitable or should he start by doing longer sitting, shorter retreats etc?
Ref: 2006.02.x.01.01
Written answer
- Limited experience in meditation
- Retreats
1
2
What does Buddhism say about romantic love and marriage?
Ref: 2006.02.x.01.02
Written answer
1
4
How can the Dhamma help children, how can we teach the Dhamma to children?
Ref: 2006.02.x.01.04
Written answer
1
6
What are the Buddhist views on abortion and on teenage pregnancy?
Ref: 2006.02.x.01.06
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Does all Dukkha come from ignorance, craving and unwise reactions? Or are there more causes? Can you explain more about the causes of Dukkha?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Why do you stress so much the importance of the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Could you please talk about the difference between doubt and ignorance?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Can you please talk about how to deal better with the fear of death and disease of oneself and of loved ones?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
How can I find out if my inner direction in life, my vision and motivation for doing things is helpful and making good Kamma. How can I realize when wanting and desire, for instance to be good or to get praised are working against this?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
What about people who were born in poor conditions, concerning Kamma, is it their own fault to be poor?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Could you please speak about the benefit of doing the short Compassion/Lovingkindness wish in the short way like you gave it to us yesterday, before doing the walking meditation. I am wondering why the mental Dukkha comes before the physical?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Can you please talk about Dukkha and how to accept its existence better?
Ref: 2006.09.x.03.08
Written answer
4
1
If intention is Kamma, what about killing with a good intention. I read a story about a Bodhisattva who killed someone in order to save many others. How do we know what is good intention?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Can you explain more about the compassionate wish before starting the walking. It feels strange to wish peace and happiness when I know that I might cause is pain and death of small creatures.
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.02
Written answer
- Attitude
- Compassionate wish
4
3
Can you please talk about ignorance?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Concerning Kamma - without me or mine what is Kamma attached to, if there is no-self - whose Kamma is it?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Does it mean bad Kamma if my work is selling things that are harmless, but people don't need?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
In what respect are the last thoughts before death important for rebirth?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
What technique do you use to bring up some questions, but you kind of want them to come up, because by asking them you might discover some deeper wisdom?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
Can you please talk about Equanimity?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
Please can you explain the 16 states of mind?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
What is the connection between the Noble Eightfold Path and the Ten Paramis? Is the development of the Paramis an effect of walking the Noble Eightfold Path? Can you please explain more about it?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.10
Written answer
- Noble Eightfold Path
- Ten Paramis
4
11
You emphasize to reflect on the Ten Paramis, could you repeat the way of asking the three questions and maybe other ways to do reflection on the Paramis?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.11
Written answer
- Questions
- Ten Paramis
4
12
How to deal with feelings of being guilty or being ashamed of things you have done wrong?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.12
Written answer
4
13
What does morality mean in Buddhism?
Ref: 2006.09.x.04.13
Written answer
5
1
Can you talk more about how to reflect on "everyone is the owner of his or her Kamma" in formal meditation?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.01
Written answer
- Kamma
- Owners of their own Kamma
5
2
How important is Saddha and what is the difference with faith, in regards say to the Christian religion?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Could you please explain the difference between ignorance and craving as causes for Dukkha?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
How do we increase wisdom?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Please can you explain how Right Livelihood looks like for a householder. What are the main priorities?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.05
Written answer
- Harm
- Right Livelihood
5
6
For example when I think about the future, what is the best way to note? Just, "thinking, thinking", or "planning, planning", or "wanting, wanting" or "future, future"?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
During walking meditation I try to use a part of the awareness to note the hindrance that could arise next, or has already arisen. In some other words I try to find one or two Paramis that could stop this hindrance to arise. For example, Energy and Determination, when sloth tends to arise. Is this appropriate, can you please explain other techniques to develop the Ten Paramis.
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.07
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
- Walking meditation
5
8
How can beneficial mind states just before and after death be supported by oneself and perhaps through others?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
How can I work with lack of confidence?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
On my first day after a retreat I often have difficulties, at work, with friends, my partner. How can I prepare myself better, or how can I deal better with the situation?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Why do Buddhists not oppose actively against a bad regime, for example Tibet or Burma. What is the advantage of such behavior?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.11
Written answer
5
12
Have you met a Bodhisattva? Are there Bodhisattvas in other religions?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.12
Written answer
- Bodhisattva
5
13
How to deal with the desire to get fame and be someone important?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.13
Written answer
8
1
How to recognize Mara in daily life?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
The Buddha teaches us to learn through our own experience, books can teach us additionally. Could you please talk about the worth of book knowledge, for example philosophy and science?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Please explain more about Anatta. How can I meditate deeper about Anatta? What benefits come from contemplation about Anatta?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Is there any indication that purification in the mind has an effect of better health to the body, so it may extend one's life span, so death is not coming that soon, compared to if this person would not have practiced in a beneficial way? Does Kamma change in that way that death comes later?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
If I am imprisoned or captured within Mara, how can I come out of this? It is difficult when I think I am part of Mara, because of wrong view.
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
Where does your techniques come from? Is there a version or did you bring it up by yourself?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
How can we work better with boredom and laziness in our mind?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Could you explain the main differences between Theravadin Buddhism and Mahayana?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
How can I work with fear?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
The other day Rosemary said she sees death as an opportunity - to what exactly?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.10
Written answer
- Death
8
11
How can we deal better with difficult people? People we have to deal with like colleagues or relatives. How to show them friendly but firmly that they have to respect you?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
What is for you (Steve) personally the main reason to practice meditation?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
How did you become a meditation teacher?
Ref: 2006.09.x.08.13
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Could you please talk about the importance of the "letting go of thoughts" practice, and the balance between letting go of thoughts and developing wise thoughts?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
During the "Groups of People" meditation on Day 1 evening, thinking of the many, many people around the world living under the harsh rule of a dictator, (military or otherwise), I felt sorrow with them. Later I tried to find Compassion for the dictator, in the Dukkha meditation. The phrase came to mind: "power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely". Can you relate to this in Dhamma terms - both the process of corruption of an individual, a state, a society, etc., and the nature of the negative to come to the forefront.
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
During the D/D meditation yesterday evening, I reached a point where my mind just said, "Enough suffering, I don't want to do this any more." When I tried to go on, my body got very tight, and I got a strong headache. What exactly was going on, and how do I handle this skillfully next time?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What can I truly wish an old person, who is very closed up inside; suffering from his stubbornness, not willing to even think that their might be a way to get out of Dukkha? It feels so totally hopeless and depressing, knowing that they will just be reborn with all their bad Kamma.
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.04
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Old people
3
5
Why is it that it is easier to feel Compassion for strangers, and the world, than for those who are closer to me?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How can we distinguish Dukkha we can do something about, from that which we must compassionately accept?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
How are emotions created? Is it completely by our Perception, or is there anything else supporting or suppressing the creation of them?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
When I see an insect being carried alive by ants, I often try to save it. However, sometimes I've noticed that the ants have stung it already, and it dies anyway. So I wonder whether it would have been best to leave it, as when it gets taken away, the ants probably look for another one, and then two beings die instead of one.
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.08
Written answer
- Ants
- Insects
3
9
Sometimes I feel like there are so many topics I would like to reflect upon; plus new things in the talks, and Questions and Answers, that I would also like to reflect upon, that it can seem a bit overwhelming. Any advice on keeping things simple?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
Can you please talk about the danger of conceit?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
Comparing the "Two Virtues that Protect the World" - Moral Shame and Moral Dread - with heedfulness: how are they similar, and how are they different, in our daily life practice?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.11
Written answer
3
12
How does one develop Right View?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.12
Written answer
- Right View
3
13
Can you please explain the difference between "Mindfulness" and "Awareness"?
Ref: 2007.01.x.03.13
Written answer
4
1
What did the Buddha say about marriage?
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.01
Written answer
- Marriage
4
2
I'm having awareness of aversion arising due to a consistently late person in this retreat. Please explain how being late for formal meditation, especially the talks, affects both the late person and the others, and my own reactions.
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
At work I often have to deal with people who see themselves as victims, not able to change anything they dislike in their life, constantly blaming others. Often they act in a very aggressive way. How do I best deal with such people.
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Could you please give some recommendations on how to deal with conflicts skillfully, e.g., when one has to say something unpleasant to someone else. I find this sometimes easier when I have a feeling of Compassion/Lovingkindness and/or friendship towards someone, but if I'm still feeling aversion, I usually avoid saying something, which doesn't always help solve a conflict.
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Can you help me to disassociate Renunciation with loss of freedom?
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
With the D/D method, I find it helps me to think of a real person I know. With the "loneliness" example (last night) I could think of men and women close to the ages given, who have experienced some sort of loss or loneliness. When I don't think of people I know, I find it more difficult to keep the momentum going. Is that okay to use real examples, like that?
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Lately I've gotten in the habit of considering how dependant on my sense contacts I am for happiness. Sometimes the thought arises that thought, too, is a sense contact, and if we didn't experience and appreciate pleasure, life would be a pretty dismal existence. Please elaborate on how to reflect skillfully on this topic.'
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
The Buddha said, it is by talking with someone that we can see if they are wise or not wise. What are examples of a wise person's speech and an unwise person's speech?
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.08
Written answer
5
1
How do we work with feelings of guilt?
Ref: 2007.01.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
If I notice that I am off-balance in a certain area, is it better to deal with it straight away, or make a note of it for my next formal meditation. For example, at the beginning of the working meditation I do a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for the beings during my sweeping. However, I notice I am still a bit indifferent towards the ants on the ground. Knowing that I will try anyway to not be cruel towards them, should I do some Compassion/Lovingkindness towards them right there, or plan to do a longer session for all animals later?
Ref: 2007.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Can you please talk about Determination? Where can we practice it in our daily life? How is it linked? Does it support the other Paramis? Are there any suitable meditation techniques?
Ref: 2007.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
I'm feeling sad about the ongoing large amount of aversive responses I have to the world around me. Could you please talk in more depth about what is going on in the "positive attachment to aversion" example mentioned in the "holding on to fire" talk, in the 10-day retreat. What is the process leading to that identity "it's me; it's mine" - feeling the right to be irritated, annoyed or angry. Is it just a way out of Dukkha, found when things went astray in youth, then conditioned in and by examples? Why do we sometimes find pleasure in pain - a true perversion? It seems like an addiction, giving a rush of excitement; making life exciting. It can seem like the whole personality is based on aversive responses and very difficult to get the necessary Compassionate-Loving kind reactions, before aversion pops in. Are there more insight methods? Or is it just continuing to lay down the conditioning via Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation and actions to recondition the mind? The intellect knows, but behavior doesn't.
Ref: 2007.01.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
How do you know you take Kamma from one life to another if you don't remember past lives?
Ref: 2007.01.x.05.05
Written answer
- Kamma
8
1
Do the reflections "work better" when the mind is more concentrated?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
If a person needs a certain amount of Virtue and good Kamma to get in contact with the Dhamma, how do they get those without the Dhamma? How can a really messed-up person ever get out of their bad Kamma without it and how long will that take?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
I noticed that I had some Joy coming from a good intention about something I could do in the future. This was followed by thoughts of "fame," "praise," etc., which would come if the future action was successful. Sometimes, my reaction to this is, "Well, I shouldn't do it, because my intention isn't pure", or "I don't think that fame and praise would be good for me". How to know whether one needs to give up something, and wait for a pure good intention, or go ahead and do something good anyway, knowing that I'm not enlightened and still have attachments to the 8 worldly dhammas, but have methods and will hopefully work with the attachments.
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
The Brahma Viharas are called the "unselfish emotions." Could you please talk about Equanimity as an unselfish emotion?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
During the meditation on Forgiveness, I found I could compassionately understand from another's view, and genuinely give forgiveness. The next day, I am brooding over the same event. How can I move on from there?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
Please talk about the relationship between concentration and pain.
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
How do you feel about Euthanasia of a pet, when its days are numbered?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.07
Written answer
- Euthanasia
- Euthanasia of animals
8
8
Can you please explain "abode" and "environment" from the 7 Suitables?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
Could you talk about ways to reflect on Kamma?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
What do you think about expressing feelings, positive and negative, e.g., such as crying, loud laughing, etc. if you don't hurt anybody with it?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
Could you please talk about the possibility to help people with mental problems. Addicted people, the possibility to help these people through meditation? Is it possible to combine psychotherapy with the meditation?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
What happens when you don't ask questions of your teachers?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Can you please explain about chanting? What is it, and why do you do it?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.13
Written answer
8
14
How is your (Steve/Rosemary) daily formal meditation practice?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.14
Written answer
- Daily meditation practice
8
15
What is the best meditation practice if we have bad dreams?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.15
Written answer
- Bad dreams
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
8
16
Can I use the breathing in the walking meditation?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.16
Written answer
- Walking meditation
8
17
How can I keep inspiration going while on travels?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.17
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Day
Index
Question
3
1
What kind of Kamma does exist? Which one leads us out of Samsara?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.01
Written answer
- Kamma
- Ten Paramis
3
2
I'm a vegetarian because I don't want animals to be killed for me. But if I eat cheese also animals have to be killed because the animals only give milk if they are pregnant and because of wanting cheese there are too many female animals so they will be killed. So is it senseless to be a vegetarian?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Could you please explain some more about the relationship between Compassion and Lovingkindness, and why it is important to balance them in our Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Why is it necessary to get up so early?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.04
Written answer
- Morning
3
5
How to deal with fear of pain?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How to deal with fear of making mistakes, fear of blame?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Can you please talk about how to deal better with fear of death and which meditations help to overcome it?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Is it possible to develop the mind while playing an instrument? I often indulge in emotions while playing it.
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.08
Written answer
- Music
3
9
What happens after an abortion to the unborn child and to the women in their next life? Is it a murder? How can they change it for better Kamma?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
Does death in one's life happen at a set time?
Ref: 2007.09.x.03.10
Written answer
4
1
In what ways can Buddhism help in raising children?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
When aversion against an action is very strong, and you can't avoid the person and the action the person is doing, what would you try to do?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Why is it important to reflect daily about one's morality and generosity?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.03
Written answer
- Generosity
- Morality
4
4
How to let go of attachment to the 8 worldly dhammas?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Is there a difference between concentration and awareness?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
If everybody is the owner of their Kamma, is it my own fault when I am born in Bangladesh, for example, and have to suffer hunger and thirst?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
How can we find the balance between right thinking, speech and action, and wrong thinking, speech and action? How can we recognize if we have right or wrong thinking, speech and actions?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
I have read that there are 6 elements. Besides earth, water, wind and fire, there is the empty space and mind. I thought the mind is dependent on the others.
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.08
Written answer
- Elements
- Four Elements
4
9
How detailed should we make our mental noting?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
Is there a point when we don't need mental noting? any more?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
What is "wif"?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.11
Written answer
4
12
How can I better deal with self-doubt. Which methods can I use?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.12
Written answer
4
13
You once told us don't limit your view of Compassion. Can you please give us a broader idea of what Compassion can mean in our practice?
Ref: 2007.09.x.04.13
Written answer
- Compassion
5
1
Can you give some more examples for the reflection on the relationship between Compassion and Equanimity?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
What is the best order to choose for doing Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation? Myself first, people I like, dislike first, etc.?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.02
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Systems
5
3
Why don't we practice awareness in fast motion also?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Can you please talk some more about talking refuge, meditating on the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha. I often have difficulties reflecting on the Dhamma because I can't picture it as easily as I can picture a Buddha Statue or people I connect with the Sangha.
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Can you please talk some more about the relationship between mind and body, and why strong body awareness is so important.
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.05
Written answer
- Body awareness
- Mind and body
5
6
Things don't change overnight. Even if I have made a strong resolution to change, which methods help me to resist in situations when confronted with temptation, for example being offered chocolates, alcohol or other people making unbeneficial jokes about other people?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
What is the difference between contentment and inner peace?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.07
Written answer
- Contentment
- Inner peace
5
8
How do we develop wisdom?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
How can I tell the difference between exhaustion and having a hindrance?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
Why does a Buddhist country like Thailand have the death sentence? What does Buddhism say about capital punishment?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Is it basically correct to think of the goal of the practice to let go of all thoughts except those needed to respond accurately and appropriately to the needs of the moment?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.11
Written answer
5
12
How to teach one's own children the Ten Paramis?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.12
Written answer
5
13
Could you please speak in more detail about why when we are dying, we can depend upon the good actions that we have done. Is there anything else except practicing the Paramis that makes good Kamma?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.13
Written answer
5
14
Is there anything to find in the scriptures about what happens between the moment of death and rebirth. In Tibetan Buddhism they speak about Bardos. Is there a belief in Theravadin Buddhism on that subject and what could be an appropriate way to think about this?
Ref: 2007.09.x.05.14
Written answer
8
1
Can you talk more about how to prevent ourselves from falling into complacency and laziness, and how to get out of it again?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
If your partner is not a meditator, what is a good way to communicate with them about what you are doing and why it is important to you?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Why does consciousness in some translations of the Five Aggregates come last? Does it make any difference then?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.03
Written answer
- Consciousness
- Five Aggregates
8
4
Do you have special methods or techniques for sadness?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Please give an example for a balanced meditation practice. For example, if someone has one hour each day for formal practice, how can they organize the different methods?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
What may be the Kammic result of killing the slugs and worms who are eating away the vegetables and crops I depend on?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Why is Mara so hard to defeat? How to recognize Mara?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Would you please talk more about wisdom?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
Why did you give us the Compassion/Lovingkindness phrase in three different forms?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.09
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Phrases
8
10
Can we change from one Compassion/Lovingkindness phrase to another from time to time, or is it better to stay with our favorite one?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
Could you please speak about the pairs of Ten Paramis, which balances which best?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
How to free oneself from the dependence on fame?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
What does Buddhism say about gifts, especially in a partnership which is not directly in relationship to the inner growth, for example clothes, sweets, an evening out in a nice restaurants, lovely things for the home, etc.?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.13
Written answer
- Gifts
- Partnership
8
14
Why do we have to forget our past lives? Isn't that a quite unfair part of this game?
Ref: 2007.09.x.08.14
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Could you please talk about reacting to noticing that one is wandering in the meditation? I find myself getting cross and thinking, "Ahh, not again!" etc. before remembering to just note "wandering, thinking" and trying to observe cause and effect.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
There is a Buddhist story which talks about two acrobats. I can't remember the story exactly. It's about being mindful of one's own actions and how, in doing so, we can be in the best position to take care of others. Could you please talk a little about this in relation to the Kalyanamittas? For example, my partner and I have both noticed we could use this principle more. He's a nighttime person. I find myself saying, "I stayed up late last night because you did," instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and going to bed early. Or my partner says, "We didn't sit this morning because I waited for you." We also noticed that if we just do our own thing, then the other will follow in the good habit.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Yesterday, we got the special mindfulness activity to give a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish to all beings we will injure or kill during our walking meditation. I now struggle a bit with getting the motivation going to do walking meditation since it is not an activity that is essential. I understand it is kinda essential for developing mindfulness and my inner growth. But, still, it is a dilemma.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What is important to keep in mind when meeting meditation teachers?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
I regularly, once in a while, feel that I experience short depressive periods and tendencies. How can I work with that?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Regarding reflecting, is it important to always use the same Compassion/Lovingkindness wish or format, as I've been using the two I know from the 10 day retreat? I usually use the same one for each person and not vary it for the whole session. Sometimes Steve's seems more appropriate than Rosemary's or vice versa to the Dukkha contemplated. Also I should like to start using the one from this retreat.
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Regarding closing the eyes, I had another Vipassana teacher who taught it's fine to open the eyes during meditation and said "Most people don't really see with their eyes open anyway." I sometimes find it useful. Any comments? Why do you recommend closing the eyes all the time except in sleepiness?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
How do I choose the meditation techniques which I use each day for sitting?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
What is more important? To feel the Dukkha of the individual or to universalize afterwards?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.09
Written answer
- D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Dukkha
3
10
By the action of the human body, many living beings are hurt or get killed. Even if you're mindful, there seems no escape out of it. What is a wise reaction to it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
When going back to the West, what is necessary for future growth?
Ref: 2008.01.x.03.11
Written answer
4
1
Regarding moaning, could you please talk about moaning in Dhamma terms? How to skillfully deal with others who indulge in this as a pastime? And how to avoid joining in while remaining friendly with the person and not appearing uppity or condescending?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Rosemary mentioned on Day 2 that wise desire was called "Chanda" in Pali. What is wise aversion and could you please give some examples of it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Part of the death reflection wish on the board says: "May they use their precious opportunity to develop the mind." Does this refer to the moment of death? If so, how do we use the moment of death to develop our mind, particularly if death comes very suddenly or we are in a coma and unaware of anything?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
The Four Great Efforts were mentioned recently. I think they are: to Prevent, to Let Go, to Develop and to Maintain. Could you talk a little about these, please?Perhaps give examples of how we can put them into our practice?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
The Buddha mentioned the Four Qualities of Faith, Generosity, Wisdom and Morality concerning successful relationships. I can see how these and walking the same path are important. But how important are personality issues when faced with a decision to enter a relationship or not with someone? Are these as important as the qualities the Buddha spoke about? How much importance should we give to actually liking the person?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
What is more important to do at a certain moment: reflecting or being in the moment?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Can you please explain two Pali words, Metta and Karuna, their meanings and significance, as it seems other Buddhists seem to use Metta to only mean Lovingkindness? I'm confused.
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
I have heard the Thai expression "Tamachat" as an explanation. If you can, please explain this term and its effects on people's lives here, society, as a way of looking at life.
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.08
Written answer
- Nature of things
4
9
Could you please talk about the value and benefits of walking meditation?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
When we meet a meditation practitioner, it's easy to assume they have a similar basis to our own if they're in a Vipassana group, especially when they have a Thai teacher in the Theravadin tradition. Could you please advise good questions to ask them to ascertain their understanding regarding intentions, level of practice, compassion, etc., while not appearing challenging or too personal?
Ref: 2008.01.x.04.10
Written answer
5
1
Could you talk a bit about one of the Paramis: Energy? How does one develop Energy?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
I notice I get much less irritated when I have to be with conditions I don't want to be with, am separated from what I want to be with, or don't get what I want. But, still, irritation does arise sometimes. Does this indicate I need to reflect even more on Dukkha, which I already do a lot? Or is it just idealism?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
In the West, when I see old or disabled people, I try to remember the Buddha's heavenly messengers and think this could be right around the corner for me in order to get more Samvega. Could you please talk about the heavenly messengers including possible other examples besides disabled or old people?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
When I have some minor Dukkha, I see the inclination to get more desperate about the Dukkha in the world, like I feel it is myself. Is there a connection?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.04
Written answer
- Compassion
- Dukkha
5
5
How to work on Moral Shame and Moral Dread?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
What is the difference between wisdom and insight? The word "insight" sounds very deep and profound. Could you please talk about the different levels or types of insight? For example, if I watch a leaf fall and consider that everything is impermanent, is this insight?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
After the "Waking Up in the Morning" meditation last night, it took me a long time to get to sleep thinking of more examples. How can I tell if or where the off-balance lies? Maybe not enough Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Off-balance
- Waking up meditation
5
8
Two days ago Steve said it is not necessarily a bad sit when the mind wanders off 40 times. One has 40 opportunities to react wisely. But what about when the mind wanders off only twice and stays lost for 20 minutes each time?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
Could you please talk about dealing with the loss of praise and fame that accompanies the ending of relationships?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
Yesterday, Steve spoke about the importance of having Equanimity with people who always complain. How can we grow in Equanimity? Is it just to expect it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
What aspects should be considered if you think about starting a family?
Ref: 2008.01.x.05.11
Written answer
- Children
- Family
8
1
Can you relate to or explain "beauty" in Dhamma terms? For example, our feeling for it, and finding it in people or objects. Seeking it as art practice and in poetry, etc.
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
If there is "no-self", then what is "it" that cycles around in various lives?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.02
Written answer
- Consciousness
- No-Self
8
3
I have a desire personality. In retreat I am quite good at balancing sense desires and bending them into wise desires, desires to learn and to grow. Out of retreat, where indulgence into sense desire is easier, I see myself struggling with this at times. Any suggestions?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Could you please give examples of confidence inspiring objects one might reflect on?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Is not getting swept away with emotion whether positive or negative, equal to having Equanimity? Is this the aim?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.05
Written answer
- Equanimity
8
6
Sometimes I feel that I don't have any expectations towards an experience. But when the experience happens, I find Dukkha arising and can only then see that, yes, I did actually have some expectations I wasn't conscious of. Is it realistic to have absolutely no expectations regarding a future experience?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Before starting meditation practice I used to watch movies and enjoy getting lost in the story. Empathizing with the characters, etc. Now I see how easy it was to "sit still" for one and a half hours.. Is it right to say, doing reflection meditation, visualizing situations could be like movies in the mind?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Do you recommend or have personal examples of using "mind movies".
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.08
Written answer
- Reflection meditation
- Stories
8
9
Could you talk about the Five Spiritual Powers please?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Could you please talk about the difference between self-confidence in worldly things, and self-confidence based on Parami growth? Do you think having too much or too little confidence in worldly achievements can be a hindrance on the spiritual path?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.10
Written answer
- Parami development
- Self-confidence
8
11
Sometimes it seems to me that I am not progressing much and even stagnate at times. How can I judge others or my own personal growth in Dhamma.
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
Refuge can be found within myself, does not necessarily mean outer Sangha does it?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Watching them more and more closely I'd like to know more about the Five Khandas, which is also called the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2008.01.x.08.13
Written answer

Bangkok QA May 2008

Berlin QA September 2008

Day
Index
Question
7
1
How do you avoid complacency in the practice?
Ref: 2008.09.x.07.01
Written answer
7
3
Could you say something about self-doubt in the practice, about not believing that you have the potential to open to difficulties.
Ref: 2008.09.x.07.03
Written answer
7
6
Sometimes I have no problems meditating when I am keeping with a regular routine. I realize that I am much more centered when I do that, much more content with myself and with the world. But then, every other month, something happens that totally draws my attention to external sense stimuli. And then sometimes I drop my practice for weeks or months at a time. It's almost like I enjoy the rollercoaster ride. It's like I'm addicted to the feeling it evokes and I realize that, if I meditate, I get into this quiet calm, which is much better. But once I'm on the rollercoaster, I feel like I can't think about that.
Ref: 2008.09.x.07.06
Written answer
8
1
How can I balance restlessness in everyday life?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
3
Please, can you say something about how to skillfully let go of worry?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.03
Written answer
8
5
Sometimes I hate all beings. What can I do then?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
8
How do we ensure the use of reflections in meditation does not lead us to a mantra-style type of practice?
Ref: 2008.09.x.08.08
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Day
Index
Question
3
1
By strengthening the "how fortunate I am" reflection we let go of self-pity. What would be the result or having little or even no self-pity.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Doubt seems to be a frequently occurring hindrance for me. Now I find it creeping in to my practice, after feeling my practice steadily improved. Is it common to fall into doubt with the practice? When this happens what do you suggest to help understand and overcome the doubt?
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Thinking in Dhamma terms: Is selfishness a form of greed or aversion or a mix or something else? Is it useful to try to quantify and define it in this way or is this just intellectualizing?
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Regarding developing sympathetic joy: though I seem to be able to easily find examples of others' good qualities and actions for reflection, I still find it hard to come up with examples of my own, though I volunteer for a charity and give to the needy as I can.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Could you please explain what is meant by the phrase: feelings of unworthiness.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
I recently listened to the life-changing positive effects that a friend found through prayer. They were advised, by a Greek Orthodox Christian monk, to ask Jesus for mercy. After a three month retreat, with almost constant prayer repeating the words, "Jesus Christ have mercy for me." They found that they have let go of the anger and unhappiness, and found forgiveness for their former marriage partner, which has changed their life. It all sounded similar to the effects and practice of Compassion/Lovingkindness that you teach, if one ignores the God or Jesus aspect. Can you talk about mercy and Compassion, the similarities and/ or differences.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
How to differentiate between desire and something that is really good for you, considering food, health, body exercise, friends, relatives, contacts and experiences? How to discriminate without aversion or desire?
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Please advice on how to deal with bullies.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.08
Written answer
5
1
Our Compassion/Lovingkindness wish is that we and others may reach the ending of all Dukkha. How exactly do we achieve this?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
What is the use of wishing?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
Doubt is very sneaky. It can be in my mind undetected for a long time! What tips do you have for spotting signs it may be present?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.03
Written answer
- Doubt
5
4
Is the Dhamma impermanent?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Do you have any advice for bringing up children with Right View, that will help them in later life to find more peace without expecting them to become Dhamma practitioners? For example still allowing them to be the willful people they are, testing their limits and having their natural rebellious stages.
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Yesterday, Steve briefly discussed abortion. On reflection I realized I had not fully considered this issue. Would you please explain how I might consider abortion in cases of rape, incest or danger to the mother. Is their any time when abortion would be justified considering Kamma, Dukkha and right understanding.
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
In daily life I often encounter selfish behavior such as cutting in line. In such instances is it reasonable or advisable to mention this to the person. If so how do you recommend us to do so?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.07
Written answer
- Malaysia border story
- Taxi driver story
5
8
I can observe that my ability to watch the body mind process and the Five Aggregates is increasing. Can you give more hints on that?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
Can you tell me more about idealism towards others, in particular my colleagues at work?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
Not wanting blame is still a big one for me. What do you suggest with regard to how to work with it?
Ref: 2009.01.x.05.10
Written answer
8
1
How can we learn to be more truthful to ourselves?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
Do you have any tips for making resolutions, choosing what is appropriate for ourselves etc.?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
What is the role of emotions in our practice and how can we use them skillfully for growth?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Could you please talk about the relationship of Compassion, Lovingkindness and Sympathetic Joy in a bit more detail.
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Last evening during the Forgiveness guided meditation, I revisited an event that had been a previous focus of another Forgiveness meditation. I was surprised to become aware of depth and complexity of conditioning linked to this event. Would you discuss the importance of the Forgiveness meditation and the potential need to revisit events several times?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
As my practice grows I find my understanding of love is shifting, sometimes raising doubts about how I love and how I feel loved. Would you discuss your experience of this and how your understanding of love has shifted.
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
What do you feel are the most important aspects of Morality and Truthfulness? Anything more than not lying, killing, stealing and other things against human laws, respecting laws of nature?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
I am eager to start studying the Suttas. What can you recommend with regards to Suttas from the Pali Canon.
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
Do you have any advice for long-term travels?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
I experienced again some strange mental phenomena. How can I react properly?
Ref: 2009.01.x.08.10
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Day
Index
Question
3
1
I understand how when we want somebody to change a certain behavior, we often become the one with the problem. But if the other person is in the position to influence us with their sometimes negative behaviors, attitudes and choices, how can we find a balance in these types of situations?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Can you talk about how to separate love from attachment?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
I have noticed at times if you are asked a question one day and then asked the same question again at a later date, your answers can vary. Sometimes these answers even conflict with each other. Still I find both answers helpful and beneficial, what do you recommend in trying to reconcile these differences?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Please talk about the Truthfulness Parami. I'm finding it challenging to go beyond "don't lie."
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
Do you recommend looking at a teacher during a talk or keeping your eyes closed? Do you see a particular benefit in one or the other?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How can one deal best with laziness and indulging?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Regarding equality, I heard you say "we are not equal, we are not different" or something similar. Can you please give some examples of how the strong western conditioning to expect and look for equality is unbeneficial, or not following the Dhamma as I find I look for equality without realizing it.
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Uncertainty often arises when my reflections turn to people of other major religions. Is it possible to have some confidence and/or joy in their abilities to offer some tools, methods and techniques to help them develop beneficial qualities and lessen their greed, hatred and ignorance?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.08
Written answer
3
9
Rosemary was talking about the usefulness of memorizing a Triple Gem short form to use while bowing. Is it better to have just one short form for bowing to the Triple Gem? I often do three different short reflections. Is it better to do one to aid in strengthening the internal refuge?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
With the Five Reflections, are they in a specific order? If so could you please explain?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.10
Written answer
- Five Reflections
3
11
If you find yourself in the middle of a hindrance attack, yet you can't locate it in the body, what should you do then?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.11
Written answer
3
12
Can you please tell us how the four relationship qualities can help us find the right partner?
Ref: 2009.07.x.03.12
Written answer
4
1
When investigating into intentions behind actions, it sometimes seems there are layers. One intention hidden behind another. Maybe I am creating more than there is. How are we sure what our intentions truly are?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
I found myself in the situation recently in a conversation with two others. One person related a situation where they swore at their mother. The other person laughed. I said nothing. Would it be helpful to speak up in situations like that, although I think in this situation the person relating the story would tell by my silence that I didn't agree with them?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
In what ways does death reflection help us with Equanimity?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
How can we understand Equanimity as an Unselfish Emotion?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.04
Written answer
- Equanimity
- Unselfish Emotions
4
5
Why do you think some people enjoy violence? Watching violent movies, violent video games, violent sports, what do you think makes people enjoy these things?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
In the Sabbasava Sutta and in your latest newsletter, 7 ways of letting go and preventing anxieties and troubles are listed. They are insight, restraint, use, endurance, avoidance, dispersal and development. Could you please talk about one or more of these ways in letting go of our anxieties and troubles?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Regarding social norms of a particular country, such as body odor, foods, pressed clothes, etc., would you please discuss right intention (us versus others) and our compassionate intention towards ourselves and others in determining whether or not to respect the social norm of a particular country.
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
Please advise how often we should use guided meditations, how to judge if we are balanced. Can one do too much forgiveness?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
What is the difference or similarity of Sati-Sampajano and Yonisomanasikara?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
It appears to me that the mental noting is a major tool for the prevention of the unbeneficial mental formations. Can you say more about this?
Ref: 2009.07.x.04.10
Written answer
- Mental noting
- Rotten apples
5
1
Is it possible for a serious meditator to obtain peace of mind and make a living as a bartender. When does right livelihood usually dawn on people when they are not taught the Five Precepts?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
In the poem posted on the board, it mentions that people do not go and visit those who suffer - cancer patients, old people, etc. - because they do not know what to do or say. Can you provide some suggestions on what one may do or say in those situations, so they no longer avoid them?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
How can we spark reflection when the mind is resisting doing anything?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
Could you please explain the Anapanasati practice, its benefits and its limitations?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
Looking at causality, is it also your experience that a subtle holding the breath can occur when we react with unpleasant disturbances? In other words, hearing a sound while meditation meditating, this leads to a higher heart rate, uncomfortable feelings in the body and then we react with anger or frustration. Please talk more about mind/body interactions with every day examples if possible, please.
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Do we all have equal potential?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.06
Written answer
- Equality
- Potential
5
7
When I observe my mind and sensations I can find out what I am not, but how can I find out about what I am, my personality?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
How do Resolution and Truthfulness relate to each other?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
If, for example, someone is a very fast and risky driver, and has no accident. I understand that they are using up their good Kamma, which protects them. What if someone drives very carefully and defensive, but doesn't use the seatbelt or a motorbike driver doesn't use a helmet, not bringing up the effort to prevent. Is that also using up good Kamma?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
How does activism, speaking up about unjust, wrong or unethical things in the world, fit in our practice? It seems to be a potential trap for aversion, yet possibly so beneficial for the world. Why does activism so often turn into aversion? How to find balance within ourselves?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Instinctual reactions or actions, things like the sex drive, love between parents and child, does one receive the Kamma of these actions, reactions? Do you feel these actions, reactions can be changed?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.11
Written answer
5
12
Can you please talk about the difference between men and women? Why Theravadin Buddhism discriminates women and why only a man can become a Buddha?
Ref: 2009.07.x.05.12
Written answer
8
1
Regarding the Forgiveness meditation, can you explain more in depth about being blinded by our defilements.
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.01
Written answer
- Blinded by your defilements
- Forgiveness meditation
8
2
Regarding idealism and development. Please talk more about the problems with setting rules for ourselves and other ways unbalanced expectations hinders development.
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.02
Written answer
8
3
Sometimes it can feel awkward when we have more equanimity than others towards a situation. It can feel as though we are being judged as someone who doesn't really care. How can we show them our caring without sacrificing our equanimity?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Can you please discuss suitable conversation. How does one assess what is beneficial and appropriate?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
As part of the practice I have stopped listening to music and singing as a past time for some years, I now find some Western melodies spontaneously bringing tears to my eyes. Why can this be?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
I once read a statement said to a meditation teacher: "If people are too loving kind they will be taken advantage of." The teacher replied something like: "It is impossible to take advantage of a loving kind person." Would you agree with that answer? Can you guess what it means, how would you respond to such a statement?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Can you please discuss the challenges people have in overcoming serious depression? In what ways does Western societies contribute to the causes of depression?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.07
Written answer
- Depression
- Kamma
8
8
People often talk about world peace. What is you perspective on this?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
In the scriptures, is there a specific order given on how to develop the four Brahma Viharas. If so, why do you think there is a specific order?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.09
Written answer
8
10
Please explain what is having too much ego in Buddha/Dhamma terms, and how this hinders development on the path.
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
What are some techniques to use when it is challenging to generate joy during the Sympathetic Joy meditation?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
Last sitting I noticed a sort of restlessness that is new to me. When I had my eyes open, such as during the walking meditation, I don't have a chain of thoughts constantly passing by and I don't feel restless at all. However, when I was sitting, my mind felt like a dynamic cyclone with high-speed wind and I was an observer in the eye of it. But when I tried to reflect, I wasn't able to totally concentrate on the words I used, the phrases of the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation. The cyclone would catch the words instantly and I wasn't able to find the phrase when I was interrupted. Sometimes there was also foggy pictures of scenes with violence, women and such which came and went. How can I deal with this phenomenon in the most appropriate way?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Concerning the Satipattana Sutta quote where mindfulness is established with the thoughts just for knowledge and mindfulness, what does this mean?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.13
Written answer
8
14
For some reason I feel quite nervous before interviews, most likely due to my fear of getting blamed. How can we work on that?
Ref: 2009.07.x.08.14
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Day
Index
Question
3
1
You never talked about something like hell. In Buddhism do Buddhists believe in this kind of concept?
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
How to deal with the selfish attitude of children/teenagers? They just want to do their own thing and dislike helping in the household.
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Is it beneficial for my practice at home to set goals when, how often and how long I should meditate? Sometimes it helps me and sometimes I feel bad when I could not fulfill my plan.
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What is the main difference between Theravadin Buddhism and Mahayana Buddhism?
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.04
Written answer
3
5
How to overcome fear of speaking in public?
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
Should a Buddhist try to be vegan or vegetarian? What do you eat?
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
I was in an Internet cafe recently, looking up examples for a Dukkha reflection and saw pictures of a partial birth abortion on the screen. My neighbor paused from his online football and beer drinking to peer over and ask me what I was doing. After I explained he was repelled and asked why I wanted to look at such things? How would you answer them assuming they seem genuinely interested, but with no Dhamma practice?
Ref: 2009.09.x.03.07
Written answer
4
1
If one farmer kills an animal for its meat and another farmer kills a mouse while ploughing, isn't there a difference in the intention? Shouldn't I buy vegetables then?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.01
Written answer
- Intention
- Meat
4
2
Can you name the Paramis and explain what they mean.
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Concerning the Compassion/Lovingkindnesswish, is it true to say "you get what you give" or is this point of view too simple to explain the Law of Cause and Effect behind the Compassion/Lovingkindness quality.
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Many Western spiritual people believe that every one of us has an individual task for his life, an inner destination or master plan, which we will find when we live our full potential and serve other beings. Does Theravadin Buddhism share this common view or is there no master plan?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.04
Written answer
- Master plan
4
5
Walking meditation would be easier for me without labeling. Why do you recommend labeling?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
Please can you explain the word "Sukkha" in more detail. Can we hold it or is it better to work on letting it go? Thanks.
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
Why do we consider 4,000 abortions a day in the US to be very bad, but consider one billion slaughtered pigs, cows, chickens to be quite normal? Why is there made such a difference between beings?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.07
Written answer
- Abortion
4
8
Is selfishness the root cause of depression?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
Yesterday Steve talked about abortion. What do you think about the claim of some women to have the right to be the boss over their own body, and that it is up to them to decide whether to abort or not. What about the Kammic consequences for the women who do abort and the doctor who does it?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
What do you personally think about psychology concerning treating with the aim of healing the soul and the mind?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.10
Written answer
- Middle Way
- Psychology
4
11
Could you please speak about the way materialism affects the mind?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.11
Written answer
- Materialism
- Mental noting
4
12
Did you hear of any care of Alzheimer's from nuns or monks? How would Buddhism care for people with Alzheimer's?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.12
Written answer
- Alzheimer's
- Senility
4
13
If I understand rightly, consciousness is linked to sense experience. How then can you explain the stories of people who have experience of "near death"?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.13
Written answer
- Consciousness
- Near death experiences
4
14
How do you get over shyness?
Ref: 2009.09.x.04.14
Written answer
5
1
Could you please say something about humility in the meditation practice and in everyday life. How to develop it?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
What would you say is the difference between practicing meditation as we try to do and practicing Theravadin Buddhism as, for example, Thai people do.
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
I have had a lot of pain in my life and often felt others' pain very much. After working with myself and practicing meditation regularly, now I don't feel anything when hearing about terrible situations, don't even remember my own ones from the past. Is this normal? Of course I have compassion for others but I can't feel it like before.
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
According to the Law of Kamma, good actions lead to a good rebirth. How can I do a lot of good Kamma and at the same time avoid getting reborn in the heaven realm, instead getting reborn human again?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
In the Satipattana Sutta the contemplation of the body comes two times. How should we contemplate the body as a part of the Five Aggregates? Is there a difference to the first contemplation at the beginning?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Is there a teacher or other authority in Theravadin Buddhism you respect most. What do you think about the Dalai Lama?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.06
Written answer
- Dalai Lama
- Teachers
5
7
Is it good to have an organ donor pass and to donate your organs if you are dying? How is the process of dying influenced?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Would you recommend to read the scriptures in order to deepen the practice and to get a more full understanding of the Buddha's teachings? Or is this teaching on the wrong path of book and thinking knowledge.
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
If a person is dying, say from cancer, and has a lot of pain, what are the Kammic results when the person takes Morphine? Would you recommend it?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
When exactly does sexual misconduct begin?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Do you believe in a higher power that if found gives one strength in one's life?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.11
Written answer
- Higher power
- Inner power
5
12
The Buddha said that confidence is the best wealth for a person in this world. Could you please explain more about this?
Ref: 2009.09.x.05.12
Written answer
8
1
There are four Brahma Viharas but Compassion and Lovingkindness are always taught together, why? It doesn't make sense to me.
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
When reflecting on the Ten Paramis, could it be helpful to make a distinction between how much they seem to be developed in different areas in life, like with family, at work, with friends?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.02
Written answer
- Ten Paramis
8
3
How do conceit, pride and stubbornness relate to each other?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Is it possible to teach children a simple form of food reflection? They seem quite absorbed by liking and even more by disliking.
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
If doubt is very strong, what kind of meditation can you recommend as a first aid?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
What does it mean being half enlightened or being fully enlightened? At which point is it good to become a part of the noble Sangha?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Do you know what kind of medicine system the Buddha used to cure physical problems. Ayurveda?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.07
Written answer
- Buddha
- Medicine
8
8
Before I got here I saw photos of thousands of people, adults and children, starving to death in Guatemala. Although there is enough food, they just can't afford it. How can I feel equanamous about it? Doesn't this stop me from helping, like sending money there or becoming a development worker?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
Is enlightenment impermanent?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.09
Written answer
- Enlightenment
8
10
If a couple wants to have children but it is not possible in a natural way and they use modern medicine and "invetro fertility", do they collect bad Kamma, because of being greedy, especially if the woman has a miscarriage?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
The Seven Factors of Enlightenment and the Ten Paramis are contained in the Noble Eightfold Path. Please could you explain this in more detail?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
What are the results of bad speech?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.12
Written answer
8
13
Please can you talk a bit about the Book of Ones, and the relationships between wise reflection (Yonisomanasikara), a wise spiritual friend (Kalyanamitta), and heedfulness (Appamada)?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.13
Written answer
8
14
In Buddhist countries there are actions you should do with the right hand, not with the left hand, for example giving someone a present or using a fork and spoon when eating. Is there any reason in the teachings? What about left handed people?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.14
Written answer
- Right hand
8
15
You said sometimes it could be helpful listening to chants. How can you learn it?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.15
Written answer
- Chanting
8
16
Could you please teach more techniques on how to develop more Equanimity in daily life?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.16
Written answer
8
17
Do I understand right that there is a changing self, consisting of the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2009.09.x.08.17
Written answer
- Five Aggregates

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Day
Index
Question
12
1
Can you explain in more depth what the Buddha meant with "If, however, evil (results) do not befall an evil-doer, then I see myself purified in any case"?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.01
Written answer
- Four Assurances
- Kalama Sutta
12
2
What did the Buddha mean when he said, "By confidence one crosses the cycle of birth and death?"
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.02
Written answer
12
3
When someone in the West asks you what meditation is, how do you explain this in a few sentences that is easy to understand for someone who has never thought of mental development before?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.03
Written answer
- Meditation
- Mental Development
12
4
How can we deal wisely with the urge to compete and "be someone" in our work life?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.04
Written answer
12
5
Why are the retreats usually ten days long? Why not eight, or eleven, or twelve? Is that a tradition?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.05
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Retreats
12
6
Regarding the situation of many Afghan village women. I have read in the news about women who are widowed, forced to leave their country due to war, and have to find a way to earn a livelihood to support themselves and their families as refugees in Pakistan. Many of these women can't find jobs and resort to begging or prostitution. How can they "do the right thing?" Is prostitution wrong livelihood? How can we reflect on this skillfully?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.06
Written answer
12
7
What role did the wife of the Buddha, Yasodhara, play before and after his Enlightenment? Is it better for the path of liberation to be in a relationship? If yes, then why do monks live without a wife?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.07
Written answer
12
8
Is Mara male or female?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.08
Written answer
- Ignorance
- Mara
12
9
Does every cloud have a silver lining?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.09
Written answer
12
10
Should the Sympathetic Joy meditation also be done with the difficult and so-called bad people, where it is hard to see their potential? If yes, then how?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.10
Written answer
- Sympathetic Joy
12
11
Perceptions, as far as I have observed, quite often arise without being conscious of them. Can I actually prevent the following chain reaction of mental formations from taking over, and even prevent perceptions by simply noting "seeing, seeing", "hearing, hearing", etc.?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.11
Written answer
12
12
What about progress and patience, concerning neutral feelings and boredom?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.12
Written answer
12
13
Do you have any recommendations about meditation centers in Malaysia.
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.13
Written answer
- Thailand
- Theravadin Buddhism
12
14
Is there one or more Suttas regarding the Ten Annusati in the 20 Suttas e-book by you?
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.14
Written answer
12
15
While watching over the sense doors, I started wondering whether it was important to become aware, generally, of the function of "seeing", "hearing", etc. or to note it mentally "seeing", "hearing", etc. when I note particular sounds smells, etc.;
Ref: 2010.01.x.12.15
Written answer
- Mental noting
14
1
When reflecting on the starving people in the world, who have nothing to eat, I have negative feelings of guilt come up. Especially, because I enjoy food so much. How can I get this right in my practice?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.01
Written answer
14
2
After much effort, years in my case, finally pleasant mind states arise fairly often and persist for some time. How best to deal with the attachment to these pleasant states? How not to drift into pride? And when they pass, how to deal with grief and loss at their passing? And any self-condemnation at their passing?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.02
Written answer
14
3
Could you please share with us a powerful method on how to cope with hearing music, or other people speaking during meditation, where the label "hearing" may not be effective at once?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.03
Written answer
14
4
What did the Buddha say about eating meat?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.04
Written answer
14
5
What is Right Livelihood?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.05
Written answer
14
6
How to practice letting go of our attachment to the body?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.06
Written answer
14
7
When do we really become Buddhists?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.07
Written answer
14
8
Is being in the moment considered meditating? For example, if you find yourself bored so you start to meditate, is that the same as just being in the present moment?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.08
Written answer
14
9
When in a relationship with another person, how can you prevent yourself from getting caught up in being attached, fearing losing them, and from entering possessive states of mind.
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.09
Written answer
14
10
Will an ignorant criminal, who has killed a good person, be punished in this life or in a future life?
Ref: 2010.01.x.14.10
Written answer
16
1
When someone good, young, and healthy dies, a victim of violence, is it his Kamma? Is it his destiny? What is the difference between destiny and Kamma?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.01
Written answer
- Destiny
- Kamma
16
2
What will happen to the Wat if the head nun dies one day? Do you plan such cases? What will you do?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.02
Written answer
16
3
How can we react when we are looking for fame all the time?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.03
Written answer
16
4
If the hindrance "sleepiness" comes very often during meditation, would you recommend to sleep more during the breaks?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.04
Written answer
16
5
If you find yourself reminiscing, remembering pleasant things from the past at a time you don't need to be concentrating, such as a long bus ride, is this considered bad, as you are not experiencing the present moment?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.05
Written answer
16
6
As I have grown in the Dhamma, I find that more people approach me for advice and guidance. Please discuss the benefits and pitfalls of giving advice. Also, is it ever advisable to give unsolicited advice?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.06
Written answer
16
7
"Trying hard" brings up a lot of energy, but I have found that its brutal; or tight, quality can produce some unwholesome results. "Trying gently" has, overall, produced more wholesome results, but it can often lack energy. How can I bring up the right amount of effort and energy while still keeping a gentle quality to my efforts.
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.07
Written answer
16
8
Is the universe friendly?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.08
Written answer
- Friendly
- Universe
16
9
Could you please explain why the Paramis or Paramitas are not identical in Theravadin and Mahayana traditions. In the Mahayana tradition, Renunciation, Truthfulness, Determination, Compassion/Lovingkindness and Equanimity are missing. But instead, they have concentration, which is considered a tool in the Theravadin tradition. Is there any deviation in interpreting the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.09
Written answer
- Pali
- Theravadin scriptures
16
10
What if someone doesn't ask a question out of the fear of not finding the right words. Will he/she still be reborn stupid?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.10
Written answer
16
11
I find it very difficult to feel compassion for people who are conceited because it is hard to imagine their difficulties, since they may not feel that they actually have difficulties, as they already think they are perfect. They don't seem to feel the negative effects of it. They just feel good.
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.11
Written answer
16
12
Is there any benefit to the meditation practice by being able to sit in full or half-lotus positions?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.12
Written answer
16
13
What are the differences between the four types of Buddhism, why did you and Rosemary choose this type?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.13
Written answer
16
14
Do you know of any techniques besides noting "worry, worry" or reflection on death and impermanence to deal with anxiety before an event, with high pressure, and many people watching, judging you, say a competition?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.14
Written answer
16
15
Is it right view to believe that each of us has the ability to change the future results of past negative Kamma, or is it more skillful to be open to the possibility that some results can't be changed.
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.15
Written answer
16
16
Please give your Dhamma thoughts on the Western belief "Bad luck comes in threes" still held by many people.
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.16
Written answer
- Bad luck comes in threes
16
17
When I don't want to reflect on a certain topic, for example Compassion/Lovingkindness, the Triple Gem, or Kamma, etc., do you think it is then that I need it the most?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.17
Written answer
16
18
Is it important or helpful to have knowledge of path moments, nanas, etc. as a road map; as some people say?
Ref: 2010.01.x.16.18
Written answer
18
1
Is there a Kamma kitty? In other words if I want to ensure fertility in this life or the next, should I work with bettering the lives of children? If I work with the elderly, am I ensuring I will be taken care of in my old age in every life?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.01
Written answer
18
2
When we find ourselves at the edge of death, what are the recommendations and techniques to maintain a peaceful mind?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.02
Written answer
18
3
Is there any teaching on instant Kamma? Can you burn off bad Kamma, and see the results of good Kamma in this life manifest?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.03
Written answer
- Good Kamma
- Kamma
18
4
What exactly are Devas? What is their role in Buddhism and in the practice?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.04
Written answer
- Devas
18
5
Could you please explain the relationship between compassion and forgiveness for ourselves and for others?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.05
Written answer
18
6
Could you please talk about different tools and techniques to help strengthen and develop Samvega?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.06
Written answer
18
7
Would the Buddha, if he was still alive, consider life in the Western world as wrong livelihood?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.07
Written answer
18
8
If rebirth is true, I would like to be reborn with more energy. How can I do that?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.08
Written answer
18
9
What are the benefits of self-discipline? How to develop self-discipline?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.09
Written answer
18
10
Is there ever a good reason for killing other living beings, such as cockroaches? For example, if your house becomes infested, or if you or your pet gets fleas.
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.10
Written answer
- Intention
- Killing
18
11
Can you feel compassion for very evil people, like mass murderers?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.11
Written answer
- Compassion
- Mass murderers
18
12
I have friends who often like to eat at restaurants with live seafood displayed, which later becomes one's dinner. When accompanying these friends, can you suggest how to wisely handle this situation, or is it more skillful to avoid those restaurants?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.12
Written answer
18
13
Would you please explain what a Bodhisattva is?
Ref: 2010.01.x.18.13
Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Rosemary said something about unbeneficial conceit yesterday. Does this mean there can be beneficial conceit?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.01
Written answer
- Beneficial conceit
- Conceit
3
2
How to deal with sleepiness that arises because of boredom and a lack of motivation?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
Why might letting the mind be entertained by such things as movies, books and following sports teams be harmful to our practice ?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
Compassion is the desire to help and to be useful to one's self and others. Could you please speak more about Lovingkindness and how it is to be expressed?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.04
Written answer
- Compassion
- Lovingkindness
3
5
When making bigger life decisions, I try to walk around the elephant, shifting through all the possible gains and losses, etc. to try to choose the one which will bring the most benefit and happiness and the least amount of regret. What else can we do to help with making bigger life decisions?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
I am a person with lots of desires. Many of them are sense desires; luckily some are spiritual desires. Could you please talk about how to work with worldly desires in a balanced, not idealistic way?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Do you advise people who are very much restless, attached to thinking, and have bad concentration, to do a retreat elsewhere to work on that?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
What does "Kow Tahm" mean and who was the founder of the Wat?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.08
Written answer
- Wat Kow Tahm
3
9
When we die and have to let go of everything in an instant, what will help us to let go? What tools and techniques are helpful in our daily life to help us prepare for letting go at death?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
According to the scriptures, who or what is deciding on Kammic deeds? For example, what human deeds lead towards rebirth as an animal in a nice home with caretakers, or what human deeds lead to be rebirth as an animal on the streets riddled with disease and suffering?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
By constantly observing the sense doors and noting the impermanence of the sense contacts, I started developing a headache. What have I done wrong?
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.11
Written answer
3
12
I feel a little embarrassed, and even anxious, because I don't have any particular questions for you now.
Ref: 2010.07.x.03.12
Written answer
4
1
Can you go over the Five Hindrances again, and give guidance on how to meditate, or not, on them.
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Other people and situations often put different demands upon us. Could you please explain how to investigate with wisdom, for example, is it a wanted demand? Is it an appropriate demand, etc.? Also does it make sense to apply the terms "fair" / "unfair" to demands. If yes, how to judge? If no, what is wrong about "fair" / "unfair" in this context?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Why is it that some people can be alone for long periods of time and not feel lonely. While at other times be in a large social gathering and feel lonely?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.03
Written answer
4
4
Sometimes I tend to be very idealistic towards others and I expect them to be perfect. That causes a lot of disappointment when I realize that they aren't perfect. What can I do?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
Could you speak a little about the process of death according to Theravadin Buddhism. Why is it important what we think before we die? More questions: Why is giving one's organs after death not permitted. What happens, for example, to people who die doing extreme sports at the moment of highest excitement or concentration?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
I try to develop generosity by giving things that I like to others but I then still catch myself regretting doing these things. Or giving away money without having any income and then feeling bad about it. How to overcome this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
The compassion meditation wishes good things, in other words, peace of mind to others. Yet he or she is not obliged to accept, or even acknowledge that they might want or need peace of mind. What should a Buddhist do in this circumstance?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.07
Written answer
- Compassion meditation
4
8
Are there beneficial desires?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.08
Written answer
- Beneficial desire
4
9
The Buddha is recorded to have said, "Kamma, I say, is intention." Could you please talk a little bit more about this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
Is there a systematic way for finding the best solution to a problem?
Ref: 2010.07.x.04.10
Written answer
- Solutions
- Systems
5
1
When under pressure in a rush, whether self-created or not, mistakes seem to increase exponentially in relationship to the amount of pressure/rush we're in. How do we work with decreasing the pressure/rush factor in our life, so we will make less mistakes?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
I can be very generous to friends and even total strangers with my time, money, and attention. But to two people in my family, whom I ought to be close to, I cannot muster up any generosity at all. Of course there are reasons behind this, but my intent is to get over the "historical wrongs" and consider these two people with as much generosity, and Metta or Compassion/Lovingkindness as I consider with others. How do I do this?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.02
Written answer
5
3
If a loved one, for example a family member, rejects our advice or help, then a negative result happens just as we said it would, but then they still don't agree with our suggested behavior, should we avoid them?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
We often talk about wisdom. How do you define wisdom, say in contrast to intelligence? And how is there a way to deepen this wisdom?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
What is your attitude and reaction when you read about people possessing magical powers in the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
What is Nibbana?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.06
Written answer
- Nibbana
5
7
I recognize that my own Dukkha is small in comparison to the Dukkha of others. But I still find no resolution to the problem and it keeps returning in my mind, almost spinning out of control. I tried the techniques but still I cannot find peace of mind. What should I do?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Is it possible to indulge in one sense desire without letting it get out of control? As long as that sense desire is not unbeneficial, for example dancing, creating art, playing music, a game, admiring beautiful things... must we always think of Dukkha when we are enjoying life?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.08
Written answer
5
9
Concerning the example with the millipede from yesterday. You said the person stepping on the millipede would receive no bad Kamma since they had no intention of killing. But isn't the act of killing in itself due to a lack of mindfulness and unbeneficial actions, which will bring unbeneficial results?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.09
Written answer
- Kamma
- Mindfulness
5
10
Do we progress in our practice only as far as our Kamma permits us? What is the interconnection between Kamma and an individuals will and effort? What comes first?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
Please talk about humility, its importance, how we can develop it, and let go of the hindrances to its arising?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.11
Written answer
5
12
We meditate so much on Dukkha and on all the pain that I am losing my equanimity and falling into despair, and confidence inspiring thoughts become too difficult to bring to mind. Can you please speak about positive uplifting qualities, and good things that we can get energy and inspiration from?
Ref: 2010.07.x.05.12
Written answer
8
1
I can't see much difference between, "What can I learn from this?" and "Can I change this into the path?", can you please explain?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.01
Written answer
- Differences
- Scholars
8
2
Why do the beneficial actions from enlightened people not get reborn following cause and effect?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.02
Written answer
- Poisoned arrow
- Wrong questions
8
3
Trust once lost is hard to regain; could you please talk about different ways of how to regain a person's trust?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
It is hard for me to say goodbye to people I like. The fact that I might never see them again makes it even harder. Now I really don't like to have to say goodbye. Please help.
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
The Satipattana Sutta mentions to watch the body within the body and the mind within the mind. Could you please explain this a bit more, especially in regards to our mindfulness practice?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
How can I increase my trust in a person or a partner?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
How can I become ever more confident in myself?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Reading and writing. I recently read that the Pali language and the language that the Buddha spoke were not written languages. For a long time only oral communication was used. Please talk about the importance or relevance of "speaking and listening" versus "reading and writing" regarding our Dharma practice.
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
The reflection when bowing to the Sangha goes similar to this: "On the highest level the Sangha is of good, upright, correct, dutiful conduct." Would you know what the different words mean?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.09
Written answer
- Language
- Translations
8
10
What can we do if we have difficulty accepting the help of others?
Ref: 2010.07.x.08.10
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Is it better Kamma to be reborn as a man?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.01
Written answer
3
2
Are plants living beings according to Buddhism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.02
Written answer
3
3
What can I give a friend to read who does not know anything about Buddhism and wants to know about it? What about a biography of the Buddha's life? Which ones would you recommend?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.03
Written answer
3
4
What helps to make good decisions when there is a lot of time pressure?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.04
Written answer
- Decisions
- Experience
3
5
Could you, please talk about balancing our natural tendency of Compassion towards our loved ones with Equanimity?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.05
Written answer
3
6
How can materialism in the West block one's spiritual development? How can we guard against the influence of materialism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.06
Written answer
3
7
Quite a few of my social worker friends/colleagues suffer from burn out. Could you please give hints on how to prevent oneself from it. Thank you.
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.07
Written answer
3
8
Is there a physical aspect to confidence/Saddha?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.08
Written answer
- Confidence
- Saddha
3
9
Can you give a bit of advice concerning wanting praise and how to deal with blame. As this world seems to deal with these motivations a lot, it is hard to work on this during the everyday life.
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.09
Written answer
3
10
Is it helpful for you to know who asked the question?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.10
Written answer
3
11
Do you think that illness with which you are born and which you have throughout your life is because of your Kamma? If so, would it mean we cannot do anything when we get severely sick?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.11
Written answer
3
12
Could you, please, talk to us about the importance of mindfulness in daily life?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.12
Written answer
- Feel your bum
- Mindfulness
3
13
My desire of wanting to be perfect causes so much Dukkha, how can I let go of it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.03.13
Written answer
4
1
I like the idea of ego being a statistical data-package to help lessen our self importance. But I don't see why this data-package exists, and even has a name. Can you explain?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.01
Written answer
4
2
Is there anything negative about proud, about having pride, being proud? If proud was having a good feeling for what someone has reached or obtained, e.g. good friends, a family, work that is good for other people, to be on a spiritual path. Can you be proud, feeling pride for a spiritual path and so on? If there is something negative about pride then maybe it is too much self-identification, how could it be or should it be dissolved?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.02
Written answer
4
3
Is it helpful in the D/D method to take a person I know for a certain age. I felt that the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish felt more sincere for the person I know.
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.03
Written answer
- D/D Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
4
4
There is a very old and strong condition in my mind, thoughts of regret coming up, followed by feelings of self-hatred. Could you, please, say something about that?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.04
Written answer
4
5
If you have a partner who is friendly, drugfree, helpful, patient, but not interested in doing a meditation course or a retreat because he doesn't think he needs it for mental development, what would you do?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.05
Written answer
4
6
What can I do against greed regarding food?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.06
Written answer
4
7
I feel as though I don't have much Energy left in my every day life lately. How can I strengthen it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.07
Written answer
4
8
Where does shyness come from and how can I work with it?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.08
Written answer
4
9
How can I try to be less of a perfectionist?
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.09
Written answer
4
10
Concerning the Ten Paramis reflection, when Steve says "How much have you grown?", I am unsure how to qualify my growth and my mind answers to this with words like "a bit" or "there is some growth". Instead of figuring out how much we've grown, should we be thinking of examples of how we've grown.
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.10
Written answer
4
11
Would you, please, discuss competition in more detail. The drive for us for competition, if and when it's appropriate, and how to understand and manage the desire to compete when it arises.
Ref: 2010.09.x.04.11
Written answer
5
1
I have big problems in doing breath awareness, I used to do reflections, is it okay?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.01
Written answer
5
2
Can you give an example of a short Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, like the one we can do at the beginning of every formal sitting
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.02
Written answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Short form
5
3
How do you know that you put in enough energy? One can always do more or less, when do you have a good feeling about your work?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.03
Written answer
5
4
What are with dreams according to Buddhism?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.04
Written answer
5
5
In situations when we don't get what we think we should, how should we know how much we should endure or fight for our rights?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.05
Written answer
5
6
Could you please talk about Mara and how it could be useful to see challenges in our daily life as Mara.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.06
Written answer
5
7
Could you please talk about the value of work and how to find the right amount of work.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.07
Written answer
5
8
Do you recommend leaving the eyes open or closed during talks?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.08
Written answer
- Eyes open
- Talks
5
9
Do you recommend reading the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.09
Written answer
5
10
Do you believe everything that is written in the scriptures?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.10
Written answer
5
11
How do you manage to tell people exactly the same for 20 or more years, it would drive me crazy.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.11
Written answer
- Sympathetic Joy
- Teaching
5
12
Could you please talk about beauty, humans everywhere try to create things that are beautiful to them. Sculpturers try to make nice Buddhas, cooks try to prepare dishes that look as good as they taste, musicians try to make beautiful music, dancers try to make movement graceful. Beauty seem to be a quality all humans seek, can you tell us more?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.12
Written answer
5
13
In Buddhist tradition there is no god, so can we view the Dhamma in the sense of a god?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.13
Written answer
5
14
I understood there is no proof of God, and Buddhism does not speak of a God. Buddhism speaks about Kamma and rebirth, is there proof of this?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.14
Written answer
5
15
According to Buddhism, can the living communicate to beings who have died?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.15
Written answer
5
16
How long does it take between death and rebirth?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.16
Written answer
5
17
The first Noble Truth describes everything as not really satisfying or unsatisfactory. If you walk the Buddhist path, will the experiences remain unsatisfactory or can you develop more lasting satisfaction?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.17
Written answer
5
18
Is it right to say that to have compassion or to care means to wish and try to help oneself or others to react more wisely in any situation that occurs with some understanding of the Law of Kamma.
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.18
Written answer
5
19
How can we let go of the condemning mind, this comparing with others, judging them in order to feel superior?
Ref: 2010.09.x.05.19
Written answer
8
1
I have changed a lot in the past years - also because of what you taught me. I've not been much of a family person before and didn't like to go to family meetings much. I still don't like to go to them. I like these people but we just don't have much to share. Should I go there just because of some duty? Aren't my spiritual friends much more of a family? Is it egotistical to think like this because I am just a daughter or niece?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.01
Written answer
8
2
What is Sukkha compared to the normal joys of life. Is there a difference at all?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.02
Written answer
- Dukkha
- Sukkha
8
3
Is it right to say that the Compassionate wish, "May they free themselves from all Dukkha", indicates that they will be a Buddha or an Arahant? And on the way to the ending of all Dukkha, many others would benefit, as well?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.03
Written answer
8
4
Was the Buddha we are showing highest respect to in the bowing, the first being who was enlightened or only the first being that started teaching others to become enlightened? If the last point is correct, why didn't the other Buddhas start teaching?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.04
Written answer
8
5
Equanimity seems very important. It is in the Seven Factors of Enlightment, the Ten Paramis, and the Four Brahma Viharas. Whereas Compassion/Lovingkindness is only in the Ten Paramis and in the four Brahama Viharas. Is it right to conclude that Equanimity is more important than Compassion/Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.05
Written answer
8
6
Is the purpose of the practice just to be a good Compassionate person?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.06
Written answer
8
7
Rosemary gave a picture of a person who is ambitious and wants to climb a mountain constantly looking up to the peak with longing. If I compare myself with this picture, I get doubt. I almost never look up to the peak when I'm thinking of Enlightment. I am happy with my life, I am using methods to increase wisdom and to better prepare myself whenever Dukkha comes. Is this a wrong view if I am not being ambitious enough in my approach?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.07
Written answer
8
8
Could you talk about Euthanasia. Some people talk about putting a being out of its mystery. For example, killing an animal because it has greater suffering. Also in Europe there is now a growing trend of companies and doctors providing the services of assisted suicide. Helping other people end their own lives sometimes in the presence of loved ones and what they call "dying with dignity". Can you tell us what you think?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.08
Written answer
8
9
How literally should we take the scriptures? For example, did the Buddha really go on separate outings to see a sick man and a dying man. Isn't it more likely that he realized at age 29 that his body was also subject to sickness, decay and that he would die. And that he intensively felt the Dukkha and wished to find a solution to it.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.09
Written answer
- Dead leaves
- Scriptures
8
10
How do I let go of fear of speaking in public? Even facing a crowd without having to speak makes me feel uncomfortable.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.10
Written answer
8
11
There is so much cruelty in the world. Compassion, forgiveness, when considering that they will get the results of their cruelty - okay. But there will be more cruelty because of the Law of Kamma. This is never-ending. This depresses me, it makes me feel helpless. How do I balance the feeling of doubt. Reflecting on confidence inspiring objects helped, but there is still some doubt left.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.11
Written answer
8
12
Is the order in which we list the Ten Paramis important?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.12
Written answer
- Scriptures
- Ten Paramis
8
13
What happened to the woman to whom the Buddha was married to five hundred times according to the legend.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.13
Written answer
- Yasodhara
8
14
How much do you meditate formally per day?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.14
Written answer
8
15
Who have been your teachers?
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.15
Written answer
- Teachers
8
16
Can you please give an example of how to do the short form of the Five Reflections.
Ref: 2010.09.x.08.16
Written answer
- Five Reflections
- Short form

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Day
Index
Question
3
1
Can we use the Four Noble Truths as a formal meditation topic? If so do you have any suggestions on how to do it, particularly the 4th noble truth?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.01
Audio answer
3
2
The Buddha taught rebirth. Did he also teach why we can’t remember our past lives?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.02
Audio answer
3
3
How can we learn to distinguish whether giving advice versus giving an ear is the most beneficial response when people require our attention?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.03
Audio answer
3
4
How can we take praise in a skillful and beneficial way?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.04
Audio answer
3
5
At times I find myself expecting more of myself. Expecting that I should have or could have developed more in my practice. At other times I feel the opposite, I feel that I am pushing too much. Can you please discuss ways to be more objective about our own view of our development in the practice?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.05
Audio answer
3
6
Would you please discuss more about the personification of our ignorance as Mara. Why this is beneficial for example with self-hatred etc. and if there are any dangers to our practice from this practice.
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.06
Audio answer
3
7
Some spiritual traditions, for example the great enlightened Sufi poets Rumi and Gibsan talk about trying to see the joy within suffering. What do they mean? Do Buddhists agree with that? Please comment.
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.07
Audio answer
3
8
In the dung beetle Sutta the Buddha talks about the terribleness of attachment to gain, honor and fame. In my opinion the attachment to pleasure can also be quite terrible. Do you know why he didn’t mention it in this list?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.08
Audio answer
3
9
I recently had some spontaneous unexpected past life memories. These have proven disturbing and insightful on some of life’s challenges and relationship dynamics. Could you please discuss the role of Kamma and how to clear and purify bad past Kamma. Also, is everything a result of Kamma or is there also chance and chaos at work?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.09
Audio answer
3
10
I am able to have compassion for people who are no longer alive, but I have difficulties giving them a loving kind wish. Do you have any suggestions?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.10
Audio answer
3
11
Could you please share a story from the Buddha’s life or from a previous life that you find particular inspiring?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.11
Audio answer
3
12
What is enlightenment? How can we get there without wanting to get there? Is the wish to become enlightened wrong? Desire
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.12
Audio answer
4
1
Could you please discuss if it's possible to clear bad Kamma for others, for example can we by clearing our own Kamma also work to clear generational Kamma in our families? Can we also help to heal the bad Kamma of human kind from the many unwise actions of people against others, themselves and the earth?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.01
Audio answer
4
2
Could you please talk about tolerance, is it a beneficial or an unbeneficial quality, or both? When is it beneficial to be tolerant, when is it not?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.02
Audio answer
4
3
My family is very arrogant, dishonest and often ignorant. I vowed to be different, but in my self-righteous way also have also often been arrogant and ignorant, Noticing this has brought on self-hatred. Could you please discuss how to work towards acceptance of difficult qualities in ourselves and in others with equanimity and compassion?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.03
Audio answer
4
4
How come that some new students think that the assistants are unfriendly?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.04
Audio answer
4
5
Concerning Jim and Tom and the guided Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, the self-hatred Jim must be feeling, must be vast. Could you please share, what processes and what techniques and tools Jim would need in order to one day find peace of mind? I would think, that there would always be some level of self-aversion when Jim brings up this memory.
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.05
Audio answer
4
6
How can we strengthen our patience? What did the “Keeper of Patience” do to reach this high level?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.06
Audio answer
4
7
I read a quote, “To acquire knowledge one must study, but to acquire wisdom one must observe”. What are your thoughts on this?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.07
Audio answer
4
8
Many times dancing was good for me to get over depression, get myself doing something I really like and it helped me a lot. Do you call this looking for worldly pleasure?
Ref: 2011.07.x.04.08
Audio answer
5
1
How can we reflect on the Four Foundations of Mindfulness?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.01
Audio answer
- Four Foundations of Mindfulness
5
2
How can understanding of the Law of Kamma be developed?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.02
Audio answer
5
3
Can you please talk a bit about loneliness. Particularly about which of the eight worldly dhammas bring it about.
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.03
Audio answer
5
4
How can equanimity help us with working with unpleasant physical sensations? Equanimity Mosquitoes Sensation
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.04
Audio answer
- Unpleasant physical sensation
5
5
I regularly have difficulties sleeping through the night. I fall asleep quickly but often wake up for a couple of hours in the night, which results in fatigue the next day. Could you please discuss techniques to get back to sleep or meditations which are restful for the mind and body. I once heard that some meditations are as valuable as sleep. Is this true?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.05
Audio answer
5
6
Could you please explain the difference between wise aversion and the hindrance of aversion. Does wise aversion result in Dukkha in any way?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.06
Audio answer
5
7
I’m having difficulties dealing with the following contradiction: Being in the present moment, making the most out of it, versus planning and thinking about life’s decisions like changing my job, partner, home, having children or not, etcetera. How can we do this when we are constantly in the present moment, taking life the way it comes? Could you please discuss this?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.07
Audio answer
5
8
How can we learn to identify better with the Dukkha of others? Especially if it is a kind of Dukkha that we haven’t experienced yet?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.08
Audio answer
5
9
How do you avoid feeling burned out after teaching a retreat, where all these retreatants ask all these questions?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.09
Audio answer
- Sympathetic Joy
- Growth
5
10
Could you please talk about the interdependent nature of life and how we can apply this teaching in our formal practice?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.10
Audio answer
5
11
Could you please discuss the “not to care” part of “to care and not to care”? How can we balance our compassion with equanimity and not get overwhelmed by the many injustices and sufferings of the world? How do we know when it’s best to act or to be quiet?
Ref: 2011.07.x.05.11
Audio answer
8
1
Can renunciation help to strengthen our resolutions?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.01
Audio answer
8
2
What are defilements?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.02
Audio answer
- Defilement
- Kilesa
8
3
Suppose we get blame that is partly deserved and partly undeserved. How can we learn to skillfully reject that part that is undeserved, without getting upset with the other person, and accept only the part that is deserved, which can help us in our own personal development?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.03
Audio answer
8
4
Could you please share some of your experiences with helping close loved ones, for example parents and grandparents with the difficulties they may be experiencing while growing old?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.04
Audio answer
8
5
Could you please speak about how to calm the mind and body from restlessness and worry when we need to work or study and to be able to create focus and energy for concentration at this time?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.05
Audio answer
8
6
Could you please share the little Buddhist story about what can happen when we can't let go of our job at the end of the day?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.06
Audio answer
8
7
Is it possible to match or value a relationship by comparing the Ten Paramis? Something like that was mentioned in one of the questions yesterday, well is there another way to find out if a person is a beneficial match with you or not, how can you really tell?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.07
Audio answer
8
8
I had sincere compassion arising and I forgave the person and I understood all their difficulties and ignorance and all my difficulties and ignorance in relationship to this conflict, but I still don't respect them. Is it still aversion to work on or it / if became beneficial aversion?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.08
Audio answer
8
9
Regarding the urge to have to go to the bathroom when it may not be the best time like on a bus, during a Dharma talk etc., what techniques do you advise we work with for the hindrances that arise?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.09
Audio answer
8
10
Can you please talk about jealousy, how to define it and how to overcome it?
Ref: 2011.07.x.08.10
Audio answer

Singapore QA August 2011

Day
Index
Question
6
2
I wish to ask any suggestions if I could not sleep after I did meditation before sleeping.
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.02
Written answer
6
3
How to teach children to meditate, the ages are five to seven?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.03
Written answer
- Children
- Parents
6
5
For old people and sick people, can they do meditation also?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.05
Written answer
6
7
After many years of mental training, do you guys still dream when you sleep?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.07
Written answer
6
9
You talk about mindfulness when we wake up in the morning. For example, you can get out of bed quite mindful of the movement. I don't understand what it is you mean by mindfulness. Is it just telling myself, "Okay, I'm moving my body now. I'm moving my leg now. I'm getting out of bed now." Is it something like the thoughts that go through our mind?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.09
Written answer
6
11
If I cannot sit and meditate, but choose to do things in a more mindful state, does this count as meditation?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.11
Written answer
6
13
When we're doing the Lovingkindness meditation, for beginners like me it isn't easy to have this feeling of Lovingkindness. Is it right to just recite the phrases?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.13
Written answer
6
14
Are there any differences between being mindful and focused?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.14
Written answer
- Concentration
- Mindfulness
6
16
My question is how do you handle someone who always needs to take out their anger on some others. In a house, maybe one person says something wrong and the whole house knows. Maybe it's a female problem, I don't really know, but with this one person, anything goes wrong and the whole house is in a tension. I recognize that she always needs to take it out on something. My question is how do you handle such a person?
Ref: 2011.08.x.06.16
Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Day
Index
Question
12
1
Could you please talk about the benefits of renunciation?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.01
Audio answer
12
2
Since Vedana also arises when the thought comes in contact with the mind, does there also arise a Vedana while or after mental formations?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.02
Audio answer
12
3
Theravada Buddhism has a different source than the Mahayana school and contains therefore the ultimate truth, so Steve said. Could you please explain?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.03
Audio answer
- Theravadin Buddhism
- Buddha
12
4
Is asking a teacher personal questions being too nosy? When is it appropriate?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.04
Audio answer
12
5
Would you please talk more about systematic ways for Compassion/Lovingkindness.
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.05
Audio answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness
- Systematic reflections
12
6
How do I find the balance between Compassion and Equanimity?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.06
Audio answer
12
7
Can we truly have Compassion for someone who stole something from us, insulted us, hurt us in any way, before we let go of our “lost within ourselves”? If so, don't we need to focus on our lost first, before we can effectively have Compassion for that person?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.07
Audio answer
12
8
What does letting go of the ego mean? Why is it important and why do we do it?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.08
Audio answer
12
9
Is it helpful for the daily practice at home to get up early and have fixed times for formal meditation in order to prevent resistance and excuses from arising? And can this be seen as an act of Compassion towards oneself?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.09
Audio answer
12
10
How do we come to a permanent, strong self-confidence?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.10
Audio answer
12
11
What are the possible reasons for resistance against feeling Compassion? And how can I handle this resistance if I can't feel?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.11
Audio answer
12
12
I understand that everything is impermanent and I try to develop equanimity in order to deepen the understanding that we can not control everything. I also understand that the wish to control and to master is selfish and it is desirable to let it go. Departing from this reflection I have a question. If we can not identify a stable self (non-self) then I shouldn't try to master myself? Although mindfulness rarely focuses on letting go, Buddhism teaches to be aware of feelings, mindsets etc. in order to gradually transform them. My question is, if this is actually not a form of mastering myself, do I understand mindfulness wrongly or is this a contradiction with which we have to deal with in our practice? Dealing with it by, for example, accepting that we will not fully understand ourselves as we change constantly and will not fully control ourselves but try to explore ourselves as good as possible in order to allow ourselves transformation.
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.12
Audio answer
12
13
When we have to work with strong physical pain, when is it time to take a pain-killer?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.13
Audio answer
12
14
Do you know something about panic attacks? I have read that a person who has panic attacks should not watch how the fear manifests in the body. I thought that's not what I have learned to be helpful. Would you recommend that method for somebody who has a panic attack?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.14
Audio answer
12
15
What is reincarnation? What kind of our body-mind process is reincarnated? Do I have to believe in reincarnation to be a Buddhist?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.15
Audio answer
12
16
We are taught that every living being has the potential to free its mind, does that mean that an ant has free choice to make good Kamma or not?
Ref: 2014.09.x.12.16
Audio answer
14
1
What if your child dies, how can you support it?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.01
Audio answer
14
2
What formal practice would you suggest to those unable to do walking meditation? Chair bound, infirmed, balance problems and so on.
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.02
Audio answer
14
3
Could you give an example for the difference between mindfulness and concentration?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.03
Audio answer
14
4
Please can you talk about the kilesas? Are they opponents of the Brahma Viharas?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.04
Audio answer
14
5
How can the Parami of Wisdom be reborn? To me it seems to be the Parami that has the strongest foundation in the experiences of the actual life. How can this be available in the next life?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.05
Audio answer
14
6
In the past I often tried to fulfill someone else’s expectations, I didn't consider my own needs. Now I feel tired of doing what others want me to do. How can I deal with this aversion?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.06
Audio answer
14
7
How can we deal with fear of blame and wanting praise?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.07
Audio answer
14
8
Do you mean the same thing when referring to Compassion and Lovingkindness?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.08
Audio answer
14
9
Would you please talk about how to deal with fear about the way one may die?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.09
Audio answer
14
10
In former retreats, I have learned to build up concentration and energy. This helps me to be mindful. Mindful equals seeing what's happening, no acting person. With reflections, I need to be very active, how can it help to be more mindful?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.10
Audio answer
14
11
Can the battle against Mara be won by developing Compassion for Mara? What is the right way to deal with Mara? Fighting against or developing Compassion for him or her?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.11
Audio answer
14
12
I never really understood why should familiarity breed contempt?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.12
Audio answer
14
13
How can I recognize ignorance/Mara better in a busy daily life?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.13
Audio answer
14
14
We are encouraged to have Compassion for the living beings that might be killed due to our walking meditation and to do a Lovingkind wish for them. Concerning the potential of small animals, insects again, if I don't think they have the potential to walk the path, how can I wish for their Dukkha to end? Seems to me as if there is no realistic chance for them to end there Dukkha if they do not have the potential to make choices. What do you think?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.14
Audio answer
14
15
What are mental formations, how do they differ from thoughts or feelings?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.15
Audio answer
14
16
I experience Compassion almost always becomes Lovingkindness, Lovingkindness becomes Compassion, so what's the difference?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.16
Audio answer
14
17
Can you please talk about how negative self images affect you, and how to let go of them?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.17
Audio answer
14
18
The Buddha reflected upon “dependent arising” when he became enlightened, what is this?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.18
Audio answer
14
19
I am afraid to become too depressed if I really open to Compassion. I know theoretically I should balance it with equanimity, but I don't manage, what to do?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.19
Audio answer
14
20
Please can you share your phrasing for the short for Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation?
Ref: 2014.09.x.14.20
Audio answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Short form
16
1
Are you always doing a body scan during the walking meditation? What else?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.01
Audio answer
- Body scan
- Walking meditation
16
2
Our Buddha wasn't a Stream-enterer before he became enlightened. The stages to enlightenment say that you return seven times, once or no times, how does this work together?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.02
Audio answer
16
3
Is it true that as we get older we get stuck in our ways? If so, what helps to stay open and to get stuck only on the beneficial things?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.03
Audio answer
16
4
"May it be of some help to benefit _all_ beings", the all is underlined, can you please tell us how this would come about?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.04
Audio answer
16
5
Please talk about the difference between sympathetic joy and conceit?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.05
Audio answer
16
6
When I think about a future situation, I create a fixed image in the mind, the same for a thought about the past or when thinking about myself or other people. These fixed images aren't objective and depend on my perception and opinions, is the only objective place in the present moment?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.06
Audio answer
16
7
The other day Rosemary mentioned a word that you invented, bad-relationship-Kamma, it had something to do with not wanting to find a partner with beneficial qualities, being single again you certainly got my interest on this topic. Could you please explain a little further?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.07
Audio answer
16
8
Can you please maybe tell a little bit more about what it was that made you believe in the process of rebirth. Was it an understanding that came after a certain experience or teaching or did it come gradually to you?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.08
Audio answer
16
9
How does a Buddhist behave in times of war? Become a murderer in order to protect innocent people, or watch innocent people die without interfering?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.09
Audio answer
- War
- Army
16
10
What does “dependent arising” mean?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.10
Audio answer
16
11
Is it possible to open a sitting group, meditation-style similar to me and Rosemary’s with only two meditators?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.11
Audio answer
- Sitting group
16
12
What is the wrong view behind jealousy?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.12
Audio answer
- Jealousy
- Fear
16
13
Is it important for a Western Buddhist to visit the places were the Buddha was born, became enlightened, started teaching and died?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.13
Audio answer
- Western Buddhism
- India
16
14
Can you explain the difference between Vedana and Mental Formations?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.14
Audio answer
16
15
If someone organizes a meditation group with different backgrounds, Zen, Tibetan Buddhism, etc. and the meditators are not very open and/or have not much Wisdom practice, would you join them? Then try to do questions and answers and/or talk about topics in your books?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.15
Audio answer
16
16
Could you please talk about some of the uses and benefits of letting go of thoughts in everyday life?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.16
Audio answer
16
17
When you find yourself bent over while sitting meditation, how long would you hold that posture in average for feeling what it’s like before you sit up straight again?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.17
Audio answer
16
18
What are your advices on developing Renunciation? Is it more helpful to set smaller goals, or would you recommend to be more idealistic and set higher goals? For example, concerning drinking alcohol.
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.18
Audio answer
16
19
What would be the antidote to conceit?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.19
Audio answer
16
20
Do we need self hatred to develop? Is self hatred similar to shame? Is it beneficial to skip that and to feel Compassionate right away?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.20
Audio answer
16
21
What is our greatest wealth, our "capital"? Is it our mind, the Dhamma, our good past Kamma?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.21
Audio answer
16
22
Walking meditation, letting go of thoughts, the sense of the "I” disappears, where here is the Wisdom practice?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.22
Audio answer
16
23
Buddhism says, only a man can become a Buddha, isn't that discriminating?
Ref: 2014.09.x.16.23
Audio answer
- Buddha
- Scriptures
18
1
What do you think about the statement in the scriptures that a woman can not become a Buddha? What about Terra, she became enlightened without a teacher as well in Tibetan Buddhism?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.01
Audio answer
18
2
Please give some hints on skilful "Broong Dtanging"?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.02
Audio answer
18
3
I have a melody stuck in my head meanwhile more than five days. Which technique would you recommend for that, Compassion or Equanimity?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.03
Audio answer
18
4
In a biography of the Buddha I read that he left his wife and son and family to seek Wisdom and enlightenment. For a normal person that would be considered blamable, why not for the Buddha?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.04
Audio answer
18
5
When would you advise to use breath awareness, which techniques or awareness are appropriate? Just the two you taught us?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.05
Audio answer
18
6
Middle aged German men seem to be attracted by the stories of WW II. How can I bend these kinds of conversations into a fruitful, beneficial one?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.06
Audio answer
18
7
How do you answer the question, "How much have I grown in such and such...?"
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.07
Audio answer
18
8
When I think I am fine, I don't suffer. It is good to remember that I am not free of greed, hatred or ignorance. Is that reflection on one's negative qualities?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.08
Audio answer
18
9
Could you please share your thoughts on how to help others? If we react with equanimity toward other people's problems, trying to see them objectively, there might be a risk of them mistaking our equanimity with indifference, thinking we do not really care. How do we show other people that we do care without engaging our feelings in their problems, but instead try to react wiser?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.09
Audio answer
18
10
Can you please talk about the beauty of the Dana practice, compared to teachers who charge for their teaching?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.10
Audio answer
18
11
In the going through life meditation we are supposed to do a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for the person we were at a certain year, three times, for each of three different life situations. What is the reason for this?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.11
Audio answer
18
12
Please let us know what the Buddha taught about donation?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.12
Audio answer
18
13
Could you tell us more about right speech please? Are there occasions when you might correct the wrong speech of others?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.13
Audio answer
18
14
Could you please tell a little story from the scriptures that you especially like?
Ref: 2014.09.x.18.14
Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Day
Index
Question
12
1
What does heedfulness mean? As in Alavaka's question to the Buddha, when he says "one crosses the seas of existence by heedfulness".
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.01
Audio answer
12
2
Greed? I seem to be always hungry during a retreat, eating lots, also in between the normal meals, and I also gain weight during retreats. Do you know what kind of effect is this? Is it some kind of compensation for working so hard on myself?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.02
Audio answer
12
3
How can the Brahma Viharas help us to practice forgiveness?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.03
Audio answer
12
4
Is the “four assurances teaching” for enlightened people, for us is it a motivation to get become enlightened, because we then have this these four assurances?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.04
Audio answer
12
5
When being aware of the hindrances in the body it can be quite clear if aversion or restlessness are present because of the agitation. How can we be more aware of hindrances like doubt or desire arising in the body?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.05
Audio answer
12
6
How to deal with unbeneficial, sticky thoughts? Before I came to the retreat I bought a new pair of shoes, but unfortunately I went for the wrong size, they happen to be too small. Wisdom helps me realize that it's not important, I am fortunate to at least have shoes and a pair of shoes are impermanent. But, every time we do walking meditation I am yet reminded that I got the wrong size and start blaming myself and get aversion towards the shoes. What can I do to deal more wisely with the shoes? How do can I handle the sticky self blame?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.06
Audio answer
12
7
What is the difference between states of mind and hindrances? In other words, can a greedy mind state be present with the hindrance of desire?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.07
Audio answer
12
8
What brings the most happiness?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.08
Audio answer
12
9
Please explain what is kingly giving?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.09
Audio answer
12
10
Shall I bow, when I understand mentally the meaning of bowing, but not by an inner feeling, I mean in my heart?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.10
Audio answer
12
11
I am encouraged to be aware of my body, my feelings, my mental states and all these mental objects. At the same time I am encouraged to be compassionate and act appropriately to the situation. I feel overwhelmed, what to do?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.11
Audio answer
12
12
Regarding the Noble Eightfold Path, what is meant by Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.12
Audio answer
12
13
What prevents the effort to prevent? How do we prevent this?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.13
Audio answer
12
14
Which way do you actually show us up the mountain?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.14
Audio answer
- Mountain
- Toolbox
12
15
To what extent do we practice suppression? In other words of anger, without it having adverse effects on ourselves? In other words, blowing up with more force later on?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.15
Audio answer
12
16
"Fake it til you make it", should we be doing that at all? When it comes to good qualities like patience and generosity, even when we really don't feel like doing it, as aversion is in the way?
Ref: 2015.07.x.12.16
Audio answer
14
1
Walking Meditation. I have a hard time concentrating during the walking meditation, I am restless and have lots of thoughts. I have been told to be more aware of the sensations in the feet and legs and to walk more slowly, but my mind keeps wandering. Any ideas on what I can do? I get so restless during the walking meditations.
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.01
Audio answer
14
2
Are there different intensities of let's say unpleasant Vedana?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.02
Audio answer
14
3
I think I understand transforming pleasant worldly feelings into pleasant spiritual ones, like the Brahma Viharas, but could you explain about attachment to unpleasant worldly feelings and attachment to unpleasant spiritual ones?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.03
Audio answer
14
4
You were talking about the judging, condemning, analytical mind, etc., what do you mean by this? Are those states of mind? How to react when noticing them?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.04
Audio answer
14
5
What does Right Livelihood mean in the present?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.05
Audio answer
14
6
How to deal with boredom during meditation?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.06
Audio answer
14
7
When you decided to go to a Buddhist country, why Thailand?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.07
Audio answer
- Thailand
- Theravadin tradition
14
8
What is the strongest wrong view humans have?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.08
Audio answer
14
9
What do you think of someone who asks the same questions to both of you in the interviews? Would you encourage it, and when?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.09
Audio answer
14
10
Could you please talk about Right Action.
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.10
Audio answer
14
11
Why does the mind need so much distraction?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.11
Audio answer
14
12
Which parts of the Dhamma do you relate to most? There are differences between people, why?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.12
Audio answer
14
13
How do you think you would be today without the Dhamma?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.13
Audio answer
- Dhamma
- Swimming
14
14
If the hindrance disappears, observe it's characteristic of impermanence. When I try to watch the hindrance how it goes away, it stays. Do you say, when it's gone, to be aware that it's gone?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.14
Audio answer
14
15
Children. Please tell us how they influence our path of mental development.
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.15
Audio answer
- Children
- Influence
14
16
How can we make sure we practice Sati-Sampajanna, not just Sati? Are there questions we can ask ourselves?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.16
Audio answer
14
17
Can you please explain what it means to contemplate different topics in meditation? How to do it? Just thinking about the topic or is there a methodical way?
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.17
Audio answer
14
18
While doing the breathing meditation, when emotions like sadness or neediness for someone arise, what to do? Note desire, desire? It feels cold to me.
Ref: 2015.07.x.14.18
Audio answer
16
1
Going through life meditation is heavy and takes "ages", can it be split into various sessions? Is there a short form? How often do you recommend doing it?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.01
Audio answer
16
2
Could you please talk about how to do the Compassion/Lovingkindness going through life in a shorter version? It might be helpful in during non-retreat conditions.
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.02
Audio answer
16
3
In the going through your life meditation there are many years, especially my childhood where I cannot seem to remember anything, what shall I do? Just bring up scenes that must have happened, like sitting in geography class in school or having dinner with my mother?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.03
Audio answer
- Going through life meditation
- Child
16
4
Should we keep the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation wish the same, or change it for each person?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.04
Audio answer
- Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation
- Universal wish
16
5
Could you please share some methods on how to reflect and accept impermanence?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.05
Audio answer
16
6
Capital punishment was not unusual in the time of the Buddha, did he speak of it? What are your views on the subject?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.06
Audio answer
16
7
If there was a famine in the days of the Buddha, how did the Sangha deal with that considering food?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.07
Audio answer
16
8
How important is Saddha?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.08
Audio answer
16
9
GREED! I often find myself being and acting greedy, often at the expense of others, I want the biggest piece of watermelon, I want the best bed in the dorm and I try to make other people pay for me, for example when we go out of eat, I pretend not to have a lot of money and see if others are generous and offer to pay. I really do not like this thought and hindrance, how to work with it?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.09
Audio answer
16
10
Can you please talk about unfulfilled expectations? Disappointment can be strong sometimes.
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.10
Audio answer
16
11
If our friends or family actually are interested in meditation, how do we give it to them?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.11
Audio answer
- Interest
- Example
16
12
If I heard Rosemary right, she said third stage of enlightenment for non-returners, so what's happening if a person dies in the third stage? They are not fully enlightened and aren't returning?
Ref: 2015.07.x.16.12
Audio answer
18
1
I do have Saddha, Confidence in the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, in everyday life although confidence is missing sometimes. Are there confidence inspiring objects that are useful to reflect on for everyday life situations?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.01
Audio answer
18
2
How do you decide when to change the world, and when to change the inside?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.02
Audio answer
18
3
Could you please talk about chanting benefits, things to be aware of, how and when?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.03
Audio answer
18
4
Did you ever consider becoming a monk or a nun?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.04
Audio answer
18
5
Could you say something about sport in Buddhism, what kind, intensity, how often? A meditator friend of mine is doing intensive power training, weight lifting, etc., because he says a strong fit body is important to use your potential have more energy to develop yourself. But isn't it difficult not getting attached to your body when you do intensive sports?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.05
Audio answer
18
6
What do you think are the main reasons for people to hold on to self aversion?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.06
Audio answer
18
7
How would you explain a ten year old children about meditation?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.07
Audio answer
18
8
Why does the Buddha give the Kalamas the Four Assurances?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.08
Audio answer
18
9
Sometimes when the mind wanders and I am aware of it, I immediately go back to the breath and forget to label. How important is it to do the mental noting?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.09
Audio answer
- Mental noting
- Wander
18
10
How does one know for yourself whether one is a stream-enterer, or is it some authority who has to determine it, like a monk?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.10
Audio answer
- Stream-Enterer
18
11
A family member speaks with the intention to hurt, and it does. Ideally should we have compassion for them, knowing that they act in ignorance and have equanimity for the Dukkha, knowing many speak to loved ones harshly every day? But often we are lost in reaction before we know it. Is suppression of our anger and silence, followed by sharp exit and reflection a skillful response at this stage?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.11
Audio answer
18
12
Please can you talk about the importance of having courage within our practice. I have never seen it in a Sutta or listed somewhere, what do you think is the reason for that?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.12
Audio answer
18
13
Can you please talk about the role or importance of Yoga in the mind-body process?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.13
Audio answer
18
14
May you please explain how strenuous effort, sounds like a lot of strain, transcends unhappiness?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.14
Audio answer
18
15
Equanimity feels so neutral, is that normal?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.15
Audio answer
18
16
Emotions are impermanent, so they seem to be not so important. On the other hand the Brahma Viharas are connected to strong emotions, can you talk about that?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.16
Audio answer
18
17
If I remember correctly, Steve once said not to give to beggars when it seems clear that they are able to work and/or will spend the money they get in un-useful ways, but sometimes a person like this asked me for money and I get struck by their lonely appearance and I give them something anyway, just to show that I see them and give them a chance to talk to me if they wish. What do you think? Right Intention or getting out of my feelings of helplessness toward their Dukkha is an easy way and give them the ability to cause more harm?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.17
Audio answer
- Beggars
- Money
18
18
The wish to control others seems to be the cause of many difficulties, it taints beneficial qualities and states of mind. Can you talk about how this manifests and how to work with it?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.18
Audio answer
18
19
You said that there are formal practices that make you peaceful and your life peaceful. Practices that are not so peaceful, but that make your life peaceful. Those that are peaceful, but not your life. Those that are neither your practice or your life are peaceful. I can attribute some of the techniques we learn to those categories, could you discuss each briefly, specifically the later two, thanks.
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.19
Audio answer
18
20
Rosemary mentioned yesterday the sinking mind, could you please talk more about it?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.20
Audio answer
18
21
May you please explain the appeal of mindless activities, in other words scrolling through facebook, starring at the TV, finishing a bag of popcorn, why do we do it? Why do some see it as a way to unwind after a long day?
Ref: 2015.07.x.18.21
Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Day
Index
Question
11
1
Which reflection or reflections can I use, when I find myself perpetually discontented with the present moment, especially when it is unpleasant?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.01
Audio answer
11
2
I know that Dukkha has diminished/disappeared in my life, yet other Dukkha appears, so the amount of Dukkha seems to be cancelled. I would be interested to hear your opinion about this.
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.02
Audio answer
11
3
I find it difficult to work with an itch, as I react to it very quickly with aversion, even if I can bear with an itch for a few seconds, all I am doing is bitterly enduring it, then scratching to make the itch go away. Might you have any tips and advice for this?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.03
Audio answer
11
4
How can we be mindful of focusing on problems, that arise dependent on the contact of the senses with their objects? Don't problems arise only through unwise thinking/unwise mental formations?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.04
Audio answer
11
5
Who was the teacher that told you, "you do not have enough compassion for yourself"?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.05
Audio answer
- Ajahn Jumnien
11
6
If you realize during your meditation practice that you were sleeping, with the little shock of your head and you were dreaming thoughts, conversation and images, how do you label this? Dreaming, dreaming; thinking, thinking; sleeping, sleeping or sloth and torpor, sloth and torpor?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.06
Audio answer
11
7
Aversions and resistance come up very quickly if someone invades my personal space. How best to deal with this?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.07
Audio answer
11
8
Can you please explain what is Kamma?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.08
Audio answer
- Actions
- Law of Kamma
11
9
Quote: Ignorance of the reality of life, is this ignorance of Kamma, Dukkha, impermanence, the impermanent nature of things or more?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.09
Audio answer
11
10
I was raised Catholic, that means that you were taught that you are guilty, even being born. I find it hard to feel compassion for myself if I make a mistake or have bad thoughts, is it harder for people from a Christian or western society to feel compassion for themselves?
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.10
Audio answer
11
11
If you do compassion/lovingkindness meditation start with yourself, do you think about your Dukkha that moment, or your big Dukkha, for example deceased family. Last one can end with a lot of tears, the other is more superficial.
Ref: 2017.07.x.11.11
Audio answer
12
1
Aversion coming up in a discussion with a difficult person, how can you handle the aversion in this moment, when it is not possible to sit on a pillow and meditating?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.01
Audio answer
12
2
I do reflections on death and impermanence daily, it helps me to feel how fortunate I am to be alive, but it does not lessen my fear of death/dying, what can I do?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.02
Audio answer
12
3
There is a story in the scriptures and then a quote here "you have been kidnapped with three others, a good friend, someone you don't like and a total stranger, you were ordered to pick one of the three to die" The Buddha says, if your mind moves towards anyone of them, you don't understand my teaching. The first few times I thought of this, my mind always did move to one of the three, but yesterday I went instead to the kidnapper, compassion for him came up, for they were the source of the Dukkha in the story, they were suffering. Is there more to the story/to the teaching then this?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.03
Audio answer
12
4
Do you think or know, are there enlightened beings in the world now?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.04
Audio answer
12
5
How to balance compassion for others and myself? I can often understand the other one’s reaction and even get angry or disappointed.
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.05
Audio answer
12
6
There are such beautiful English and Pali Metta chants, what do you think about evening metta chanting?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.06
Audio answer
12
7
What is the eight-week course into Buddhism that we offer in Australia about?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.07
Audio answer
12
8
Of the body we reflect, it is of the nature to age, decay and die, but what of the mind? At work, bright young people have sharp minds and are quick witted. I have noticed I am slower than before, forget things etc. My parents even more so and some even older people often have very simple repetitive thoughts or preoccupations. Is this aging or decay of the mind? Can you discuss.
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.08
Audio answer
12
9
Could you please explain how sympathetic joy for myself can be unselfish?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.09
Audio answer
12
10
Watching the daily news on TV, in which ways can I use them as beneficial meditation objects instead of feeling disappointed and frustration about the actual political developments?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.10
Audio answer
12
11
What would you say to people, who say that all the teachings are universal truths, that can be understood without Buddhism?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.11
Audio answer
12
12
If I understood Steve correctly on the first Q&A day, he said that the practice has stages when we develop, stages when we plateau and stages where we fall back, what are the causes of this falling back, in other words to old conditioning and how can this be reduced or prevented?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.12
Audio answer
12
13
What can I do in a situation of strong grief and there is no time for a longer, deeper equanimity reflection? The five daily recollections help to cut the strong peaks, but for the moment it's not enough, and on the other hand not to fall into indifference.
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.13
Audio answer
- Grief
- Trained
12
14
Could you explain the differences and similarities between sympathetic joy as to the Brahma Viharas, joy, as to the factor of enlightenment and joy/confidence inspiring object of meditation?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.14
Audio answer
12
15
I have heard the causes of Dukkha to be referred to as greed, hatred or ill-will and ignorance and craving, unwise reaction and ignorance. Can you please discuss greed vs craving and hatred vs unwise reaction?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.15
Audio answer
12
16
What is the difference, where is the line between compassion to ourselves and selfishness?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.16
Audio answer
12
17
Is there such a thing as guilt?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.17
Audio answer
12
18
Occasionally during the walking before dinner or in the early morning I notice aversion arising without really knowing where it comes from. I wonder whether the reason could be hunger, respectively the aversion coming from the unfulfilled desire to eat. Referring to what you said the other morning, could I hinder the aversion from coming up, by being aware of and noting the unpleasant feelings in my stomach earlier?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.18
Audio answer
12
19
Does Right Understanding assume there is one objective truth? What happens when Right Intention comes from wrong understanding?
Ref: 2017.07.x.12.19
Audio answer
14
1
Is mental development the hardest thing to do in the world, because it takes a long time to see the results?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.01
Audio answer
14
2
Observing the breath through the nose vs the belly, some say that the noise easier to concentrate on and so can help those really struggling with keeping the mind attracted, may I please know your thoughts on this?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.02
Audio answer
- Breath
- Meditation
14
3
What are the different levels of the Paramis, can you give examples?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.03
Audio answer
- Paramis
- Stronger
14
4
Can you explain the difference between delusion, as one of the three root poisons and ignorance as a cause for these three poisons? Where does the ignorance come from?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.04
Audio answer
14
5
Many Eastern and Western Buddhist teachers find it important to stress that Enlightenment is possible in this very lifetime. The Buddha also stressed that especially in the Satipatthana practice, for example. I find this to be motivating and empowering, why do you disagree? Would you say that all teachers and practitioners who claim stages of Enlightenment or do not experience suffering anymore are deluded?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.05
Audio answer
14
6
What can you say to a dying person who is non-Buddhist, who says "it is not the time, I don't feel like dying"?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.06
Audio answer
14
7
Practicing martial arts in a competition, where you try to knock out the other person, is that bad Kamma? Especially when both agree to the rules?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.07
Audio answer
14
8
There is Dukkha everywhere, how, why should we consider life as a gift and not a mere fact to best deal with?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.08
Audio answer
14
9
I struggle with the Special Mindfulness Activity compassion/lovingkindness before walking. Opening up to the possibility or likeliness that I will harm beings makes me not want to do the walking. I realized this would not be a satisfying solution as I would be doing something else and most likely less mindful and therefore harm maybe even more beings, so, can I do the following, and there are four choices here: Ask forgiveness from the beings I may harm, in the sense while doing the compassion/lovingkindness reflection. Another choice is express the wish, that my walking will bring more positive results then will cause harm. And another choice is dedicating the merit of the walking to be shared, especially with these beings.
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.09
Audio answer
14
10
The Satipatthana Sutta is at times very subtle and refined in the awareness level, for example Vedana and perception, how can we bring more of this level of awareness in our daily life? What is the mental formations level more where our work can we done?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.10
Audio answer
14
11
Yesterday Rosemary mentioned the three characteristics of existence, not having power over things, please can you mention the others?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.11
Audio answer
14
12
With the compassion/lovingkindness meditation it sometimes feels like a heavy weight although it is a wish. I found out that there is a subtle or a lot of aversion against Dukkha. I do not feel acceptance with all that Dukkha and that influences the compassion/lovingkindness wish. How to work with it, even if this negative aspect is just subtle?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.12
Audio answer
14
13
It is said, that it took the Buddha 500 lives to become enlightened, how do we know that he remembered them, do you remember one of your past lives?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.13
Audio answer
14
14
Can mental formations be helpful in some ways or are they wrong thinking?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.14
Audio answer
14
15
Regarding dedications of merits, in which way can someone benefit now from us sitting here and listening to you?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.15
Audio answer
- Benefits
- Dedication of merits
14
16
How to reflect on the Buddha, when dying and only minutes or seconds are left before blanking out?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.16
Audio answer
- Buddha
- Bowing
14
17
Would you please talk about friendship?
Ref: 2017.07.x.14.17
Audio answer
16
1
How can I develop more Saddha, Confidence or Faith and in consequence more Equanimity? Which techniques help to grow in Confidence?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.01
Audio answer
16
2
I really want to be more equanimous, but it is very difficult to believe, that all Dukkha is rooted in Kamma, every rape victim is only confronted with their own Kamma. Every cancer patient deserves this illness, war victims deserve a violent death, is there a way to open up to this thought that you can share with me?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.02
Audio answer
16
3
I understand the freedom from Dukkha is possible "no matter the circumstances". Yet it seems wise, if possible not to remain in abusive circumstances. Could you tell something about avoidance and confrontation or aversion and equanimity?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.03
Audio answer
16
4
If you are in bad Kamma in one life, there are billions of options to be reborn in the next one, for example as a blood sucking tick, -imagination, I created that- with little hope of working on good Kamma for the next life, but at least not having enough brain to realize it "I guess". Were as Jim, who did something horrible to somebody and has to live with the guilt, who decides, is it coincidence or a creator besides the law of cause and effect, who decides?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.04
Audio answer
16
5
Do you have an idea of how one can be enlightened and unable to teach?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.05
Audio answer
16
6
The second hindrance is sometimes translated into ill-will, you use the term aversion. In my understanding the meaning of this words are not the same, so who is right?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.06
Audio answer
16
7
Does an equanimous mind have no preference?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.07
Audio answer
16
8
When I think of the possibility that we might have met in the past and the law of Kamma, can this reflection be used as Sympathetic Joy meditation or confidence inspiring object?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.08
Audio answer
16
9
How to reflect on equanimity, when standing in line waiting, and why not reflect on patience?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.09
Audio answer
- Patience
- Equanimity
16
10
Could you please say something about the ego, Rosemary said that there exists a positive ego also.
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.10
Audio answer
- Ego
- Nice ego
16
11
Could you please give an example for a wish regarding yesterday’s meditation back through our life’s, mine always gets too long.
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.11
Audio answer
16
12
I believe I have heard you mention, that you ended up choosing Theravadin Buddhism, because it has fewer blind beliefs, compared to other traditions. Please could you give a few examples of blind beliefs?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.12
Audio answer
16
13
How important is humor in our practice?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.13
Audio answer
16
14
Is it Mara that keeps us away from the practice, when many things seem to be more important than a deeper meditation practice?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.14
Audio answer
16
15
Many people around the world play video games and so-called Ego-Shooter-Games, you have to kill a lot of people. Does the intention of killing produce bad Kamma even if it is just a game?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.15
Audio answer
16
16
What is the difference between Patience and Equanimity and why do we need Patience when we can have Equanimity?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.16
Audio answer
16
17
In the evening shortly before sleeping and also in the night, especially here in the retreat I am having wild dreams or strong fears. Does Mara prefer coming at that time? What’s best to do? Thank you!
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.17
Audio answer
16
18
Once I heard about different realms, for example an animal realm, what does this mean according to the scriptures?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.18
Audio answer
16
19
Regarding the sixth sense, the mind, depending on what makes those thoughts arise, when it is not contact between one of the other sense doors and their objects and also not other mental formations, what leads to the thought?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.19
Audio answer
16
20
Emotions arise depending on mental formations, does emotions also arise not depending on mental formations?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.20
Audio answer
- Emotions
- Mental formations
16
21
Can you please talk a bit more about the Seven Factors of Enlightenment?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.21
Audio answer
16
22
Is the concept of Mara always related to one person and one mind? Or is it mentioned on a collective level as well for the example for whole societies?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.22
Audio answer
- Mara
- Dukkha
16
23
How can we be more aware of how much you are doing and doing for us (Gifts)?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.23
Audio answer
- Gifts
- Think
16
24
When standing in the sun I have at least two options: Savor the moment, really appreciate it, note how good it makes me feel or think of times when I was cold, think about all the people who are cold now and have Compassion for them. Is all the above considered Wise Reflection?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.24
Audio answer
16
25
If my mind drifts off when giving someone a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish, not because of a resistance, just because it drifts, should I repeat the wish or move to the next person?
Ref: 2017.07.x.16.25
Audio answer
18
1
How may I develop a strong firm Compassion as opposed to a soft fuzzy warm one, or is Compassion both?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.01
Audio answer
18
2
Is there a specific reason to the length of the retreats, 9 or 18 days?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.02
Audio answer
- 9-day retreat
- Burma
18
3
Why is wanting fame so big for all of us?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.03
Audio answer
18
4
Please give some examples how to express Compassion to a person in words.
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.04
Audio answer
18
5
Can you describe the difference between Morality and Wisdom? You sometimes seem to use these qualities interchangeably.
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.05
Audio answer
18
6
So, what am I doing with the understanding of not-self, not taking everything so personally?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.06
Audio answer
18
7
When a dying person gets strong drugs for the relieve of pain and fear, how does that affect the state of mind? There is no pain, but less consciousness. How about dying during sleep?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.07
Audio answer
18
8
Could you talk about unconditional love, what is meant by this in a worldly sense and in a spiritual sense? If love can be expressed, felt or perceived, surely it is conditional or conditioned. So, when people talk of unconditional love, what are they referring to?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.08
Audio answer
- Unconditional love
- Teaching
18
9
Please could you give some advice as how best to balance between the D/D Method, move the attention away from the I and Compassion/Lovingkindness for oneself, which is to focus the attention on the I. The above seen in the light of lessening the Dukkha depends on the eight worldly dhammas.
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.09
Audio answer
18
10
Can you explain how mental noting works? The ear hears a sound, consciousness arises, perception labels it a dog, Vedana arises and then we note "hearing, hearing" and thus there are no mental formations.
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.10
Audio answer
18
11
Could you please explain the difference between peace of mind and tranquility?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.11
Audio answer
- Peace of mind
- Tranquility
18
12
Does Truthfulness to ourselves also include the ability to see our beneficial qualities and actions in order to get the full pictures of ourselves?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.12
Audio answer
- Truthfulness
- Direction
18
13
What other systematic ways are there to reflect on the relationship between the Brahma Viharas and the Paramis?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.13
Audio answer
18
14
When you do a reflection on the Buddha, do you use standard phrases or do you sort of freestyle in the moment? Could you give examples of wording, when you reflect on the Buddha?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.14
Audio answer
18
15
Could you please say a bit more of how to do the Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation, when choosing a particular age in your life. How to combine the Going Through Your Life meditation with the D/D Method? As mentioned on the chart "many Compassion/Lovingkindness techniques."
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.15
Audio answer
18
16
More often I reflect about the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish than compare to reflect on the Buddha. Is it better to do the Compassion/Lovingkindness wish when dying?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.16
Audio answer
18
17
The reflection on the Paramis also seems to work in the way: How does sense-desire threaten the development of Generosity, Morality, Renunciation, etc. (Yes! very good) Is it a good practice to work on the hindrances or for the matter by crossing any of the list, to see how they work or work against each other?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.17
Audio answer
18
18
As by definition a Buddha must uncover the ultimate truth by himself without having received the Dhamma teachings, what kind of teachings did the last Buddha receive then?
Ref: 2017.07.x.18.18
Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Day
Index
Question
11
1
Is it helpful to reflect on the legacy we might leave?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.01
Audio answer
- Legacy
- Memories
11
2
What is the source of restlessness? Is it always fear related?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.02
Audio answer
11
3
What does perfect Equanimity look like?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.03
Audio answer
11
4
If someone who knows just a little about meditation, and they would ask you what kind of meditation you practice, and what for, what would you answer?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.04
Audio answer
11
5
When a good friend of yours would be sick, and you think you could help, but your friend is skeptical and/or refuses your help, would you try it again? What would you say?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.05
Audio answer
- Skepticism
- Doubt
11
6
What is the difference between objective awareness and investigation into mental objects?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.06
Audio answer
11
7
How can I get better at objective awareness?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.07
Audio answer
11
8
Can Compassion only exist when there is Dukkha?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.08
Audio answer
- Compassion
- Dukkha
11
9
How to work with the competitive, achieving mind in formal and informal meditation?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.09
Audio answer
11
10
What if a Bodhisattva breaks his vow and becomes an Arahant, would he or she know about this and what could be a possible result?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.10
Audio answer
11
11
What is meant by ignorance and craving?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.11
Audio answer
11
12
How can we differentiate between compassion and understanding? It seems to be two sides of one coin. Is it important to see the difference?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.12
Audio answer
11
13
How can we develop humility?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.13
Audio answer
11
14
It is said that the whole teaching is included in the Four Noble Truths. Is it possible to figure out how to come from the Four Noble Truths to, let us say the Ten Paramis or the Brahma Viharas?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.14
Audio answer
11
15
Can you explain the difference between fear and worry please?
Ref: 2018.07.x.11.15
Audio answer
13
1
Are there ways of enlightenment in the meaning of as much individuals in the world as much ways of enlightenment there are? Or is there only one way which one has to go each step in the same alignment as everybody?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.01
Audio answer
- Enlightenment
- Purification
13
2
Can you explain in which ways a purified mind can be of benefit to all beings?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.02
Audio answer
13
3
Is there a role for understanding or working with our subconscious mind in the Dhamma practice?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.03
Audio answer
13
4
How should we relate to dreams?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.04
Audio answer
13
5
If one has difficulties to make decisions and when they have decided they do not stick to it, is it too much doubt behind it or not wanting the consequences? What would you recommend to practice or to reflect on?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.05
Audio answer
13
6
Yesterday there was the question if the legacy should or can be left behind, you agreed. Can you explain what is meant by legacy and give example of it?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.06
Audio answer
13
7
What is the difference between Enlightenment and Buddhahood? Can one be awakened without necessarily being a Buddha?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.07
Audio answer
13
8
Of how much benefit would a daily practice of the five wise reflections be for someone who has little understanding of meditation, but is a least curious enough to want to alleviate suffering resulting from work and family relationships?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.08
Audio answer
13
9
How do I know if I have enough compassion for myself? Is there a feeling?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.09
Audio answer
13
10
Is it wise to be generous to those who have acted unskillfully and yet to show remorse?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.10
Audio answer
13
11
Where do we find patience in the Noble Eightfold Path?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.11
Audio answer
13
12
Is there always the same amount of Dukkha in the world? Is it possible to reduce it in the sense of the total amount?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.12
Audio answer
- Dukkha
- Here
13
13
What to do regarding autopilot during the walking meditation?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.13
Audio answer
13
14
What for is it important what other people think of us? Should not only be important what we think of ourselves?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.14
Audio answer
13
15
What is the difference between wise aversion and the regular type of aversion?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.15
Audio answer
13
16
My mind is very creative and coming up with mental formations and hindrances, but it requires a lot of effort when reflecting wisely. Is it just a matter of practice, do wise thoughts ever flow so easily and diversely as unwise thoughts?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.16
Audio answer
13
17
Wrong view seems to be everywhere and seems so pervasive, how to deal with it?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.17
Audio answer
- Wrong View
- Right View
13
18
What if scientists find a cure for every illness and may also find something to stop the process of aging, so people will not die from diseases anymore and have eternal life if they do not die in accidents, what would that mean for the law of Kamma?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.18
Audio answer
13
19
Investigation into mental objects is a enlightenment factor, wise reflection is to develop right view. So, is investigating into mental objects, is not that wise reflection? When to apply what?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.19
Audio answer
13
20
What kind of ignorance are we typically not aware off? How to sharpen the awareness?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.20
Audio answer
13
21
Could you explain more about the light lovingkindness side of the meditation and the heavy compassion analytical side?
Ref: 2018.07.x.13.21
Audio answer
14
1
Does a partnership have its own Dukkha or is it just the Dukkha of the individual partners?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.01
Audio answer
14
2
If we are the owners, heir, born, related, abide supported by our own Kamma and whatever Kamma we do, we will be the heir. If this is so, can we ever be the victim of injustice or can it only appear so?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.02
Audio answer
14
3
What is a good technic to reflect on equanimity in formal practice?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.03
Audio answer
14
4
For me there is an attempt to overanalyze in deepening the practice, how to balance this?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.04
Audio answer
14
5
Can you please talk a bit about Samvega and how we can work with it?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.05
Audio answer
14
6
Yesterday it was mentioned that it is not known what is superstition and what is really in the scriptures, how do we know that Buddha was 500 times physically reborn? How do we know that a rebirth in the scriptures does also can mean to wake up a next day with a new state if mind, so, one is mentally reborn?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.06
Audio answer
14
7
Even if we share it and inspire others, is not there a lot of ego expressing itself in joy? Can there be joy without ego, even sympathetic joy?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.07
Audio answer
14
8
Are there any scriptures about the Buddha teaching to children? Do you have any experience on the inside of how to teach meditation to children, for example at schools?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.08
Audio answer
14
9
Could you clarify compassion, is it the understanding that Dukkha exists, or is there more to it?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.09
Audio answer
- Compassion
- Dukkha
14
10
Is there a difference between compassion and empathy?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.10
Audio answer
- Compassion
- Empathy
14
11
One subject of morality is: "Do not lie", what is the reason that there is another Parami truthfulness as well? What is the difference between these two?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.11
Audio answer
14
12
Can you share a personal experience that shows how you acquired wisdom?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.12
Audio answer
14
13
How can we balance effort to do the meditation and striving for good meditation? Or maybe just simply prevent the latter?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.13
Audio answer
14
14
Would you please talk about what a higher level of truthfulness and determination is?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.14
Audio answer
14
15
If you would meet a men or women who was enlightened, would you recognize him or her as an enlightened person?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.15
Audio answer
14
16
With all this Dukkha in this world, I wondering if it is better to be a pessimist instead of an optimist, is this correct?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.16
Audio answer
14
17
How do we know that we are ready for death?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.17
Audio answer
14
18
What is moral dread versus moral shame?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.18
Audio answer
17
1
How to cope with aversion, for example a bad smell (a small one), or a difficult person (a big one)?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.01
Audio answer
17
2
Why is the Noble Eightfold Path so hard to work? In daily life wrong actions seem often more easy to do. Why is doing the right thing sometimes hard work? How to make it the obvious choice?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.02
Audio answer
17
3
Can you explain how a balance of Compassion and Equanimity is important for the relationship to ourselves?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.03
Audio answer
17
4
How important is it to be slow during walking meditation? If I understand it correctly, the walking is like sharpening the axe to clear the field etc. wise reflection. Does slower walking may get a sharper axe?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.04
Audio answer
17
5
Could you give an example about how to use the Four Noble Truths for reflection, for example when you are in sorrow?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.05
Audio answer
17
6
Can there be such a thing as too much faith in the Buddha and his teachings? If so, what can that look like and how can we balance it?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.06
Audio answer
17
7
What is said about committing suicide, when we with the biggest wish for any Dukkha in the world committed?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.07
Audio answer
17
8
Do you recommend following the Eight Precepts? If yes, why? If no, why?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.08
Audio answer
17
9
Does the order of the Paramis have any meaning?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.09
Audio answer
- Paramis
- Generosity
17
10
In the moment of death is it important of what issue we are thinking, or is it important what kind of thinking we have, positive or pessimistic thoughts?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.10
Audio answer
17
11
When your partner behaves amoral in minor things and you are involved indirectly, would you talk about it? If this behavior is continued, how would you react?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.11
Audio answer
17
12
To what extent does romantic love come from selfishness?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.12
Audio answer
17
13
Is a thought in a communication based on a lower level of Truthfulness affecting the communication in the way that this may lead to a different result or maybe to resistance in the communication partner?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.13
Audio answer
17
14
Although I feel like my mind should be most clear in the morning, I find that that is where my mind wanders the most. Is there a reason and anything to be done about it, or just be compassionate, aware of the wandering mind and come back to the intention I set for the practice?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.14
Audio answer
17
15
Is it good to reflect at the end of the day about good Kamma done and forgive yourself for possible wrong actions or speech?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.15
Audio answer
17
16
Could you give an example of the to care and not to care reflection on the personal level with ourselves, friends and family level, global level?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.16
Audio answer
17
17
Would you tell us how you, Rosemary and Steve, find yourself on this path?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.17
Audio answer
17
18
Mutual unspoken expectations can lead to problems in a relationship, how to deal with them?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.18
Audio answer
17
19
Would you go and see the Dalai Lama if he would come next to your home town?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.19
Audio answer
- Dalai Lama
- Theravadin Buddhism
17
20
What is the reason for using 7 instead of 5 wise reflections and for separating death and impermanence in guided meditation? Which form would you recommend us to use in our daily reflection?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.20
Audio answer
17
21
"Body Mindfulness is the death of the ego", is that true? If so, is that why I resist it so much?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.21
Audio answer
17
22
Could an unspoken thought take an effect in a conversation as it might infect it, and can this lead to a different result, as if without this particular thought?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.22
Audio answer
17
23
Could you please explain worldly happiness and its´ relationship to the Dhamma? It was mentioned in an answer about sexuality yesterday.
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.23
Audio answer
17
24
I struggle with forgiving myself, the wish that I did not do what I did is very strong. How may I get around this?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.24
Audio answer
17
25
Can you talk about the difference between attention, awareness and mindfulness?
Ref: 2018.07.x.17.25
Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Day
Index
Question
11
1
How can I make the practice at home more interesting? And would you please talk more about the effort to maintain.
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.01
Audio answer
11
2
I am neither vegetarian nor vegan, do I have to feel bad about it?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.02
Audio answer
11
3
How can I strengthen my Compassion/Lovingkindness wish, especially for difficult people?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.03
Audio answer
11
4
Could you explain the difference between Theravada, Mahayana and Vajrayana?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.04
Audio answer
11
5
It is difficult for me to understand where attachment to honor and fame starts. I like my job and want to be good at it, I put a lot of effort in it, is that attachment to honor and fame?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.05
Audio answer
11
6
How do you recognize neutral worldly feeling?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.06
Audio answer
11
7
How do you deal with the initial resistance to get started with something?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.07
Audio answer
11
8
Is it helpful to apply Sympathetic Joy for oneself and if yes, how does it differ from self-attachment?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.08
Audio answer
11
9
What is meant with selfish views and opinions? Can you give examples?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.09
Audio answer
11
10
Can you please explain why you list Compassion before Lovingkindness in the Brahma Viharas, mostly they are listed the other way around?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.10
Audio answer
11
11
The chorus of the Satipatthana Sutta speaks of observing things inwardly and outwardly, what does this mean?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.11
Audio answer
11
12
What can I do when aversion against Dukkha comes up strongly?
Ref: 2019.07.x.11.12
Audio answer
12
1
Can you please talk about how it feels or looks like when you are generous, helpful, without being conceited about it?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.01
Audio answer
12
2
When we try to be aware of the breathing, the Five Hindrances hinder us to do so. When I hear a sound and that sound reminds me of a car (neutral Vedana) which hindrance pulls me away from the breath?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.02
Audio answer
- Five Hindrances
- Restlessness
12
3
How do we or should we teach meditation to kids? Our own, our students etc.?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.03
Audio answer
12
4
Could you please tell about your view on listening to music?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.04
Audio answer
- Music
- Lay people
12
5
The chorus of the Satipatthana Sutta urges us to observe the coming and going of things, with constant awareness and clear comprehension without identification and attachment, is this correctly understood?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.05
Audio answer
12
6
What do you think your life would have looked like if you had not found meditation? What effects do you think meditation has had on your life?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.06
Audio answer
- Steve's life
12
7
How can I learn to plan more wisely?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.07
Audio answer
12
8
What would you suggest, how to deal with strong doubt in daily life?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.08
Audio answer
12
9
Why is revenge such a powerful emotion in the world?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.09
Audio answer
12
10
The arising of aversion or desire after Vedana is so fast, that makes it hard to observe objectively, any advice?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.10
Audio answer
12
11
Vedana is the second Satipatthana section. It is also part of the fourth section. What is the difference?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.11
Audio answer
12
12
What is the root of self-righteousness? And what is the best medicine against it?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.12
Audio answer
12
13
I think you said once, that the best or most spiritual progress can be made between ages 45 - 65, can you elaborate?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.13
Audio answer
12
14
How to heal a huge, unsolvable problem with a friend with equanimity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.14
Audio answer
12
15
How to prevent unbeneficial qualities from arising and the effort?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.15
Audio answer
- Prevention
- Unbeneficial Qualities
12
16
Is there a special way for dedicating merits to the recently deceased?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.16
Audio answer
12
17
According to the scriptures, is there something like a final and global defeat of Mara by all beings or is it an eternal cycle were Mara can only be defeated individually by a person becoming enlightened?
Ref: 2019.07.x.12.17
Audio answer
14
1
When someone talks ironic, is it wrong speech, why or not?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.01
Audio answer
- Wrong speech
- Right Speech
14
2
Why is jealousy such a powerful emotion?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.02
Audio answer
14
3
Please, explain the desire for non-existence.
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.03
Audio answer
14
4
Is it good to use the technique of mental noting in normal daily life?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.04
Audio answer
- Mental noting
- Daily life
14
5
Could you please outline the difference between mind states and mental objects from the Satipatthana Sutta.
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.05
Audio answer
14
6
Is it good to compare ourselves with others, to see we are actually not so brilliant as we think, to lessen conceit, to be more humble?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.06
Audio answer
14
7
Could you tell your story of connecting to the Waldhaus? How did you decide to come here every year?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.07
Audio answer
- Waldhaus
14
8
What can I do if a loved one believes someone else’s lies and then starts hating me?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.08
Audio answer
14
9
How do you define Sangha?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.09
Audio answer
- Triple Gem
- Sangha
14
10
I am experiencing a lot of desire, desire for this, that and the other. What I have even more of is the desire to be free from desire.
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.10
Audio answer
14
11
If during Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, Compassion changes into pity and suffering with someone, how can I strengthen Equanimity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.11
Audio answer
14
12
If you see somebody doing something harmful, when would you say something? I once read, that the Buddha advised against saying something to a person who is not open minded.
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.12
Audio answer
- Buddha story
- Not Speaking
14
13
What is the difference between Vedana and emotions? How to deal with emotions?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.13
Audio answer
14
14
Yesterday Rosemary spoke about honesty causing hurt feelings and disruptions of trust. In my experience honest words spoken with Compassion are like medicine, even if they cause pain to begin with. What is the balance between maintaining integrity and being honest, versus not causing pain and keep the peace?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.14
Audio answer
14
15
How do you count Five Daily Recollections? Does Kamma count as one?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.15
Audio answer
14
16
Is it recorded which of the Ten Paramis our Buddha had to perfect last? Could it have been Wisdom or Equanimity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.16
Audio answer
14
17
A balance between Compassion and Equanimity could be a deep and sincere wish for all beings to find inner peace and happiness, and at the same time knowing that this might not happen.
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.17
Audio answer
14
18
I read the explanation that fear is the strongest impulse to do things, what do you think?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.18
Audio answer
- Fear
- Compassion
14
19
Would you please talk about the differences between mental formations, mental states, mental qualities or objects?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.19
Audio answer
14
20
What do you think about medically assisted suicide, especially if a person is terminal ill and they are suffering because of heavy pain?
Ref: 2019.07.x.14.20
Audio answer
16
1
Is it useful to reflect on the Seven Factors of Enlightenment, the Ten Paramis or the eight worldly dhammas?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.01
Audio answer
16
2
Do the Seven Factors of Enlightenment describe the whole practice?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.02
Audio answer
- Seven Factors of Enlightenment
16
3
Can you please talk about the relationship between heedfulness and Samvega.
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.03
Audio answer
16
4
In your opinion, what is the mind?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.04
Audio answer
16
5
Regularly one sees selfish or rude behavior in traffic, trains, at work, at home: Should one act and try to correct the selfishness one sees or practice Equanimity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.05
Audio answer
16
6
Which elements of the western culture conditioning make it hard for us to have faith in the path?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.06
Audio answer
16
7
I see many similarities between Patience and Equanimity, could you please point out the differences.
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.07
Audio answer
16
8
What are the differences between praise, especially self-praise, joy and sympathetic joy?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.08
Audio answer
16
9
In your experience, does the difficulty of the practice reach some sort of peak or hump after which it becomes easier, like the effortless grace of this sportsperson?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.09
Audio answer
16
10
Did the Buddha say something about how much to take care for the body?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.10
Audio answer
16
11
I struggle a lot with the right wording for a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish suitable for all the different meditations and situations, especially the one from last night for myself and others in long gone situations in the past, can your advice?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.11
Audio answer
16
12
The systematic ways of reflecting about Sympathetic Joy seem to be limited compare to Compassion/Lovingkindness reflections. Do I need to reflect more about Sympathetic Joy? What can I do, when I run out of systematic ways?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.12
Audio answer
16
13
Could you please explain Renunciation in more detail, reasons for, benefits, examples and relevance in lay life?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.13
Audio answer
16
14
In the Five Daily Recollections, there is the line: Abide supported by my Kamma. Could you please elaborate. Kamma
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.14
Audio answer
- Five Daily Recollections
- Abide supported by my Kamma
16
15
A close family member thinks it is okay to express aversions and anger. I think this is wrong view; shall I try to correct this or practice Equanimity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.15
Audio answer
16
16
What are some things we can do at the moment of death to ensure a beneficial rebirth? And what are some things that we can do for others at their last moments?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.16
Audio answer
16
17
Kamma itself has no Morality, is that true?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.17
Audio answer
16
18
Finding it hard to avoid self-centeredness while taking the necessary solitude for inner work in the practice. Sometimes being alone can seem a refuge from the possible pitfalls of relating to others. Equanimity is hard! How to remain generous to oneself and share with others, especially when you live with other people?
Ref: 2019.07.x.16.18
Audio answer
18
1
When Siddhartha Gautama almost starved himself, he decided to eat again, a crucial moment. The person who gave him the food did some pretty good Kamma. Could you elaborate on this please?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.01
Audio answer
- Stories
- Kamma
18
2
How can we identify the difference between striving for something and clinging in everyday life?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.02
Audio answer
18
3
Could you please explain Mental Formations and Consciousness from the Five Aggregates?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.03
Audio answer
18
4
Why is Kamma not listed in the Three Characteristics? Surely it is also a Characteristic of Existence?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.04
Audio answer
18
5
What is the higher level of each Parami?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.05
Audio answer
- Ten Paramis
18
6
Why is truth "the sweetest of all tastes"?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.06
Audio answer
18
7
How to avoid suppression of emotion and naturally occurring physical responses when cultivating equanimity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.07
Audio answer
18
8
To get food, even if it is vegetarian, many creatures have to suffer, but eating meat means even more suffering, how to find a balance?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.08
Audio answer
18
9
Did the Buddha ever comment on the Hindu religion, on the Hindi gods? I am interested since he was born into a Hindi society.
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.09
Audio answer
- Hindu Religion
- Brahman Religion
18
10
What is the Buddhist meaning of the word emptiness?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.10
Audio answer
- Emptiness
18
11
Do you know what happens to monks, when they got sick? After hospital, can they get back to the monastery? What, if they are old and cannot care for themselves?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.11
Audio answer
- Monks
18
12
Is one a better meditator if one tells a deliberate lie with shame, compared to if they tell a deliberate lie without shame?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.12
Audio answer
- Lies
- Moral Shame
18
13
What is meant by a saying: "Speak softly, but carry a big stick"?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.13
Audio answer
18
14
How does being courageous and being gentle go together?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.14
Audio answer
18
15
Do the Ten Paramis and the Brahma Viharas belong or refer to Right Intention? Is there a difference between Morality as the middle part of the Noble Eightfold Path and the Morality as the second Parami?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.15
Audio answer
18
16
Without Dukkha there would be no need for compassion/lovingkindness and no need for the Dhamma, right?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.16
Audio answer
18
17
You talked about wise fear and wise anger. Is there also a wise doubt? And if yes, how can we work with that in our practice?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.17
Audio answer
18
18
Is it okay to phrase the compassion/lovingkindness wish in second person singular pronoun instead of third person? I feel none comfortable addressing the person directly.
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.18
Audio answer
18
19
In my compassion/lovingkindness meditation, I give the wish to a hundred and more people. To myself, I give it only once in that time. Should I consider myself more often, as I have more problems with self-compassion, compare to compassion with others. Would that create more of a balance?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.19
Audio answer
18
20
In mental development, we are working hard to let go, while out there in our careers we are working hard to gain: knowledge, prestige, experience, etc. It feels difficult to get these two movements together, can you help?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.20
Audio answer
18
21
I think, this retreat would not have been as insightful as it was, had not Mara been around. Do you consider Mara as part of the learning experience, or is it rather our wisdom that helps disguise Mara?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.21
Audio answer
- Mara
- Ignorance
18
22
I have let go of so much Dukkha since I started to practice, I sometimes feel there is not much left, at the moment. Can this be the reason for my slower growth, not enough Dukkha ? Or am I not seeing clearly?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.22
Audio answer
- Dukkha
- Muscles
18
23
If I recall correctly, Jesus said, that if someone hits you on your left cheek, you should present your right cheek, so he can hit you on that one, too. Would not that be an unskilful action according to the Dhamma?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.23
Audio answer
18
24
If I calculate how many people got enlightened since the Buddha taught, and how many people were on earth since then, the wish for all beings to become enlightened seems completely unrealistic. How to deal with that? Is it only a trick in the mind?
Ref: 2019.07.x.18.24
Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020