Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

A collection of wisdom and inspiration

Comforting

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At present there are 2 entries in this list.

Source / Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Special Retreat Germany September 2010
Rosemary
7
9
How can you help people who have lost a close relative who died at 58 years old because of cancer? They are Christians not Buddhists and full of despair because they can't find any sense. What can you say to them to give them comfort?
Ref: 2010.09.x.07.09
Audio answer
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2007
Steve
4
8
Reading the newspaper clipping about the two young children who starved to death, following their mother's death, and imagining being the father returning to find such a tragic scene, I found it difficult to imagine what I would actually do and say to give Compassionate/Lovingkindness to the father. Obviously one can say, "May you find peace of mind" inside oneself for them, but its sounds rather trite out loud. Then, what about saying, "It wasn't your fault? Or, "Try not to upset yourself"? These standard comments leave a lot short, or by physically comforting them - taking their hand, etc. One risks acting as a shoulder to cry on, where the other person indulges in grief rather than overcoming it. What would you do or say?
Ref: 2007.07.x.04.08
Written answer