Dukkha | Rosemary & Steve Knowledgebase

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

5

6

What should we do if we feel we are getting tired of Reflection meditation and getting restless and agitated?

Ref: 2001.07.x.05.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

8

4

A Zen master once said, "In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind, there are few." Question: How can we avoid, break open routines in every day life in meditation?

Ref: 2001.07.x.08.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

6

5

Can you please talk more about doubt manifesting as feeling stuck and indecisive and having to move forward through it. Thanks.

Ref: 2001.07.x.06.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

4

12

Could you give some tips for some different systems for the Reflection meditations? I seem to be going over the same thoughts again and again.

Ref: 2001.07.x.04.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

9

5

I got to know physically handicapped people with a very negative opinion or attitude towards Buddhism, because Buddhism tells them that they are guilty or responsible for their handicap because of bad actions in a past life. What can I do in such a situation in order not to increase the negative attitude?

Ref: 2001.07.x.09.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

5

3

The Paramis of Patience and Equanimity. Could you speak more about them? Especially the qualities or characteristics of Equanimity and ways of developing both.

Ref: 2001.07.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

9

2

A few days ago you answered a question concerning Idealism and Morality. The example of the question was using a train instead of a plane because of pollution. In the answer you said something like you can't stop the circle of Samsara. Could you please say more about that?

Ref: 2001.07.x.09.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

3

8

Will you please talk further about looking at the Dukkha caused by attachment, in order to lessen attachment to things like entertainment, people, the eight worldly dhammas.

Ref: 2001.07.x.03.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

6

Can you talk about the Truthfulness Parami?

Ref: 2001.07.x.06.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

5

2

How important is it to have a teacher? In the meaning, to have something like a personal teacher. Lots of practitioners say this person, so and so, is my teacher, with a specific name.

Ref: 2001.07.x.05.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

7

1

Could you please discuss any techniques which are helpful for using with chronic pain and illness? Thank you.

Ref: 2001.07.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

2

6

Could you please talk about the balance between Compassion, Morality and Idealism. For example, for long distance travels taking a plane and not a train, although it causes much more pollution. Or buying items produced in other countries because you find them better or like them more.

Ref: 2001.07.x.02.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

4

7

What does it mean to respect Mara?

Ref: 2001.07.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

9

6

Can you talk more about doubt, not doubts about Dhamma or the practice, but doubt as it appears in decision making in life? Sometimes it can be so strong and cause much anxiety, wavering and confusion in the mind. It is hard to make decisions without stress in these cases. How can we de-condition this tendency, particularly if we don't have a Kalyanamitta around?

Ref: 2001.07.x.09.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

6

1

How can I strengthen the Resolution or Determination Parami?

Ref: 2001.07.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

4

Could you please talk about mind spins. How they arise, how to identify them as a spin and then stop them?

Ref: 2001.07.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Rosemary

2

4

Can you please give more advice on the need to be important and the fear of being obscure?

Ref: 2001.07.x.02.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2001

Steve

3

10

Can you talk more about these important moments when Mara switches the mind to unbeneficial ways, like the judging mind, envy, sloth and torpor. How can one more skillfully and quickly root out these thoughts?

Ref: 2001.07.x.03.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

5

In one of the Suttas, amongst others, "misconduct in sensual pleasures" is listed as wrong action, however as a lay person we still enjoy sense pleasures in varying degrees. How can we do it in a wise way and not get into misconduct?

Ref: 2005.09.x.05.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

5

10

A person who is close to me experiences a lot of Dukkha. This person is not a meditator. How can I help or sometimes even react to this person?

Ref: 2005.09.x.05.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

3

4

How do I find the balance between putting energy and effort into the practice and putting too much pressure and expectations on myself?

Ref: 2005.09.x.03.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

4

1

How can I cultivate Equanimity besides reflecting about, "that the world is as it is"?

Ref: 2005.09.x.04.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Rosemary

6

8

Please talk about Love compared to Compassion.

Ref: 2005.09.x.06.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Steve

4

5

Can you talk about Determination/Resolution, please? How do I get more determination to meditate in everyday life?

Ref: 2005.09.x.04.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2005

Rosemary

7

What Meditation is most helpful if one wants to quit drinking alcohol?

Ref: 2005.09.x.07.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Steve

4

10

I find my mind often getting excited about worldly things. Could you please explain some ways to redirect this energy?

Ref: 2003.07.x.04.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Rosemary

9

4

Adoption versus having your own child: Is it selfish to want your child biologically when there are so many children already alive in this world without parents? Is bringing another being into existence just more Dukkha? Or is it an opportunity for another being to choose wise (hopefully) parents?

Ref: 2003.07.x.09.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Steve

8

When Buddhism refers to the ending of all Dukkha, does this include physical Dukkha? Is it possible in the human realm to be free from physical Dukkha?

Ref: 2003.07.x.08.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Rosemary

6

2

Could you please talk about how to deal with thoughts in the mind that want to control things in other people's behavior.

Ref: 2003.07.x.06.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Rosemary

6

5

Can the wish for health or freedom from danger, war, cruelty, etc. for beings in extreme living conditions be a part of the Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, because they may experience such intense Dukkha which makes it impossible to develop methods or tools by themselves?

Ref: 2003.07.x.06.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2003

Steve

8

2

I've heard you and Rosemary talk about some of the heaven realms. Heavenly beings having so much happiness that they forget about Dukkha and death. It seems as though some Westerners also arrange their lives, homes etc. so that is also very little Dukkha present and they have more trouble accepting it when it does come. If one was thinking about building a home, could you mention some ways in which it would be possible to make things comfortable yet not so comfortable that Dukkha and impermanence are forgotten?

Ref: 2003.07.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

9

4

Sometimes I feel that my equanimity comes from a strong sense of confidence, and mostly from remembering the good luck, bad luck story. Sometimes I rather feel that my equanimity simply comes from the fact that I have a plan B, from preparedness to the eventuality of things going wrong, from experience. So, this is less an attitude I would say than having a certain control over the situation. Can this be seen as equanimity too? Independently as to where it comes from? Be it from confidence or control?

Ref: 2020.06.x.09.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

5

3

Why do we practice compassion with further people, I would use the one I know as there is enough Dukkha there. Is it ok?

Ref: 2020.06.x.05.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Steve

7

4

How to prepare ourselves to the death of our parents? Sadness will be but is there a way to prepare to deal with it?

Ref: 2020.06.x.07.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Steve

3

4

I have just done the day 13 evening meditation with Rosemary - "you wake up this morning, but today is difficult". From even before the first situation was properly described, I felt a lot of aversion come up, knowing that a difficult situation was likely to come. My expectations were confirmed with style (laughing as I write this). I found the meditation difficult, having had to stop it a few times to cry and allow myself to process enough to be able to come to a place of wishing compassion and loving kindness.

Ref: 2020.06.x.03.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

9

2

Like most people I do not wish to get sick, to lose my purse or stumble on the pathway. When this does happen, it does affect me only for a short while, as I have grown in equanimity. However, if any of those Dukkha are caused to me because of other people I still tend to struggle with intense aversion. Much more than if I cannot identify a human cause. Could you please help me see the conditions causing this difference?

Ref: 2020.06.x.09.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

9

3

In our society, we tend to see praise as an empowering, empathetic attitude, especially toward co-workers or children. How much responsibility do we bear in creating Dukkha when praising other people?

Ref: 2020.06.x.09.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

5

10

How to help a person who lost his child?

Ref: 2020.06.x.05.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

5

2

Is it true that most of our Dukkha comes from our selfish views and our isolation or separation from others? Coming closer to and understanding more the Dukkha of others I feel that my own Dukkha fades away.

Ref: 2020.06.x.05.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Steve

3

6

The D-D technique is extremely powerful indeed. However, while relativizing our suffering, thinking about situations worse than ours, isn’t there a risk to slip into relativizing the suffering of others too, and create a hierarchy of sufferings, some being more legitimate than others? Everyone has already heard phrases such as: You cannot suffer as much as I am suffering, since you don’t know what it is to be sick/have children/having depression etc. Or this person is too sensitive, no one should be upset about a broken nail etc.… I usually try to focus rather on the "amount" of suffering instead of the "cause" of that suffering, since the suffering is very real to that person independently of the cause – which may be, for others, much less harmful and intense (we know the example of loneliness) Should it be and if yes, how can this be avoided? That is: to hierarchies’ different causes of suffering?

Ref: 2020.06.x.03.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

5

In regards to restlessness, can you please remind us again of some techniques to work with restlessness in the everyday? This past year I have noticed myself having to multitask and manage a lot more and can see the restlessness building at times. Winding down is sometimes difficult.

Ref: 2020.06.x.05.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

9

5

The step from "I want what they have" to "I am glad that they have it" seems so difficult. Can you please help me with this?

Ref: 2020.06.x.09.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Rosemary

5

6

It is very hard to be able to hold some kind of equanimity or poise in the face of the difficult situations described. My "the animal side of my body" reacted to a few with intense anger and rage, or fear, or grief. While I understand this is part of the process, I have some concern I may be going too deeply into the feelings and maybe not being able to process/focus on compassion. Could you speak regarding this topic?

Ref: 2020.06.x.05.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany June 2020

Steve

7

1

Do you have a short DD form for daily life? Thank you.

Ref: 2020.06.x.07.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

15

8

Why are people so easily annoyed by small stuff?

Ref: 2014.09.x.15.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

14

8

Do you mean the same thing when referring to Compassion and Lovingkindness?

Ref: 2014.09.x.14.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

14

16

I experience Compassion almost always becomes Lovingkindness, Lovingkindness becomes Compassion, so what's the difference?

Ref: 2014.09.x.14.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

13

3

Why is it so difficult to be really tolerant with oneself and others? How can we lessen our tendencies for intolerance?

Ref: 2014.09.x.13.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

17

3

I'm not sure if I did the Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation right for myself in the past. Could you give an example?

Ref: 2014.09.x.17.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

18

11

In the going through life meditation we are supposed to do a Compassion/Lovingkindness wish for the person we were at a certain year, three times, for each of three different life situations. What is the reason for this?

Ref: 2014.09.x.18.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

17

14

Can you please talk about the effort to prevent?

Ref: 2014.09.x.17.14

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

18

6

Middle aged German men seem to be attracted by the stories of WW II. How can I bend these kinds of conversations into a fruitful, beneficial one?

Ref: 2014.09.x.18.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

13

7

How to let go of unfulfilled expectations?

Ref: 2014.09.x.13.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

15

14

Why do we tend to develop a strong sense of possession towards our close or loved ones, what is the thinking behind this, "They are mine, they have to behave as I want them to" attitude, and how do we let go?

Ref: 2014.09.x.15.14

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

12

8

What does letting go of the ego mean? Why is it important and why do we do it?

Ref: 2014.09.x.12.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Steve

18

3

I have a melody stuck in my head meanwhile more than five days. Which technique would you recommend for that, Compassion or Equanimity?

Ref: 2014.09.x.18.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2014

Rosemary

13

1

Could you please explain the fourth assurance the Buddha gives to the Kalamas in the Kalama Sutta, "If evil results do not befall an evil-doer, then I see myself purified in any case"?

Ref: 2014.09.x.13.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2004

Steve

4

5

Sometimes you can see somebody suffering due to unwise choices they've made. I'm inclined to hope that they're suffering deeply in order to help them in the long run and lead to greater awareness. This does not seem to be the compassionate thing to do, even though I am wishing for their growth.

Ref: 2004.04.x.04.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2004

Rosemary

6

3

On the one hand we wish ourselves and others to be free of Dukkha, on the other hand we must see Dukkha in the world to progress in the practice, how to reconcile?

Ref: 2004.04.x.06.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

5

3

Can you please talk about Determination? Where can we practice it in our daily life? How is it linked? Does it support the other Paramis? Are there any suitable meditation techniques?

Ref: 2007.01.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

3

During the D/D meditation yesterday evening, I reached a point where my mind just said, "Enough suffering, I don't want to do this any more." When I tried to go on, my body got very tight, and I got a strong headache. What exactly was going on, and how do I handle this skillfully next time?

Ref: 2007.01.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

4

6

With the D/D method, I find it helps me to think of a real person I know. With the "loneliness" example (last night) I could think of men and women close to the ages given, who have experienced some sort of loss or loneliness. When I don't think of people I know, I find it more difficult to keep the momentum going. Is that okay to use real examples, like that?

Ref: 2007.01.x.04.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

7

1

Could you please talk about the importance of the development of Lovingkindness, the difficulties we may have with it and the possible dangers?

Ref: 2007.01.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

3

2

During the "Groups of People" meditation on Day 1 evening, thinking of the many, many people around the world living under the harsh rule of a dictator, (military or otherwise), I felt sorrow with them. Later I tried to find Compassion for the dictator, in the Dukkha meditation. The phrase came to mind: "power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely". Can you relate to this in Dhamma terms - both the process of corruption of an individual, a state, a society, etc., and the nature of the negative to come to the forefront.

Ref: 2007.01.x.03.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

3

10

Can you please talk about the danger of conceit?

Ref: 2007.01.x.03.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

6

1

You've said the Noble Eightfold Path is like a spiral. Could you please explain this in a little bit more detail?

Ref: 2007.01.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

6

7

After the intense meditation like last night concerning refugees, prisoners, etc. I find my Dukkha petty, so little compared with some of the situations. Therefore I'm having difficulties having Compassion for myself.

Ref: 2007.01.x.06.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

5

4

I'm feeling sad about the ongoing large amount of aversive responses I have to the world around me. Could you please talk in more depth about what is going on in the "positive attachment to aversion" example mentioned in the "holding on to fire" talk, in the 10-day retreat. What is the process leading to that identity "it's me; it's mine" - feeling the right to be irritated, annoyed or angry. Is it just a way out of Dukkha, found when things went astray in youth, then conditioned in and by examples? Why do we sometimes find pleasure in pain - a true perversion? It seems like an addiction, giving a rush of excitement; making life exciting. It can seem like the whole personality is based on aversive responses and very difficult to get the necessary Compassionate-Loving kind reactions, before aversion pops in. Are there more insight methods? Or is it just continuing to lay down the conditioning via Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation and actions to recondition the mind? The intellect knows, but behavior doesn't.

Ref: 2007.01.x.05.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

2

3

Can you please talk about Truthfulness?

Ref: 2007.01.x.02.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

9

7

Please talk about the Brahma Viharas and how they interrelate with each other.

Ref: 2007.01.x.09.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

6

2

How possible is it to become a Stream Enterer as a layperson? Are there, at the moment, enlightened Buddhas in the world?

Ref: 2007.01.x.06.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

7

6

Can you please talk about the methods to deepen our experiential understanding of both Dukkha and Kamma? Also, regarding Dukkha, how to reflect on the Third and Fourth Noble Truth to keep a balance?

Ref: 2007.01.x.07.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

7

3

Sometimes I find out that I made wrong decisions. Then I feel upset and angry about it. When I reflect later on I see that it was quite obvious to decide correctly, but I did the opposite. Please, what can I do to avoid such situations in the future?'

Ref: 2007.01.x.07.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

7

2

Can you please talk about the importance of having Compassion for ourselves in situations where someone is doing something incorrect, but only mildly? Often I try to have Compassion and Lovingkindness for the other person, but really my aversion is the real problem. How to detect it sooner, and work with it?

Ref: 2007.01.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

2

Could you please talk about self-control?

Ref: 2007.01.x.02.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

2

1

Finding a balance between Compassion and Equanimity is sometimes too much of one, and not enough of the other.

Ref: 2007.01.x.02.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

3

6

How can we distinguish Dukkha we can do something about, from that which we must compassionately accept?

Ref: 2007.01.x.03.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Steve

3

1

Could you please talk about the importance of the "letting go of thoughts" practice, and the balance between letting go of thoughts and developing wise thoughts?

Ref: 2007.01.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2007

Rosemary

7

4

Imagine waking up today, but today isn't different. Can you share your thoughts of the Dukkha of a whole ordinary day, and how to be more Compassionately mindful and reflect what it is like to be alive, what our mind and body is doing, and what we do to satisfy our craving for existence, each ordinary day.

Ref: 2007.01.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

8

2

What is Sukkha compared to the normal joys of life. Is there a difference at all?

Ref: 2010.09.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

5

18

Is it right to say that to have compassion or to care means to wish and try to help oneself or others to react more wisely in any situation that occurs with some understanding of the Law of Kamma.

Ref: 2010.09.x.05.18

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Rosemary

6

3

Yesterday Rosemary guided us through the Compassion/Lovingkindness Meditation, "You wake up today, but today is different". I was wondering if there is a difference between not accepting Dukkha and standing up for your rights as in justice. So if a family is starving, should they not try to act in some way or another like people demonstrating for lower food prices? And isn't it my duty as a very privileged person to help them to get justice, by at least trying to change the system?

Ref: 2010.09.x.06.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

4

6

What can I do against greed regarding food?

Ref: 2010.09.x.04.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

5

17

The first Noble Truth describes everything as not really satisfying or unsatisfactory. If you walk the Buddhist path, will the experiences remain unsatisfactory or can you develop more lasting satisfaction?

Ref: 2010.09.x.05.17

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Rosemary

6

1

I understand that Buddha said for becoming enlightened the human condition is best, is this right? Can you talk more about this.

Ref: 2010.09.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

3

13

My desire of wanting to be perfect causes so much Dukkha, how can I let go of it?

Ref: 2010.09.x.03.13

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

4

1

I like the idea of ego being a statistical data-package to help lessen our self importance. But I don't see why this data-package exists, and even has a name. Can you explain?

Ref: 2010.09.x.04.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2010

Steve

5

In situations when we don't get what we think we should, how should we know how much we should endure or fight for our rights?

Ref: 2010.09.x.05.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

12

16

What is the difference, where is the line between compassion to ourselves and selfishness?

Ref: 2017.07.x.12.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

15

2

Is being happy overrated? For instance, with regards to quotes like, "May all beings be happy" or "Do more of what make you happy"?

Ref: 2017.07.x.15.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

11

9

Quote: Ignorance of the reality of life, is this ignorance of Kamma, Dukkha, impermanence, the impermanent nature of things or more?

Ref: 2017.07.x.11.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

14

11

Yesterday Rosemary mentioned the three characteristics of existence, not having power over things, please can you mention the others?

Ref: 2017.07.x.14.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

11

2

I know that Dukkha has diminished/disappeared in my life, yet other Dukkha appears, so the amount of Dukkha seems to be cancelled. I would be interested to hear your opinion about this.

Ref: 2017.07.x.11.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

11

If you do compassion/lovingkindness meditation start with yourself, do you think about your Dukkha that moment, or your big Dukkha, for example deceased family. Last one can end with a lot of tears, the other is more superficial.

Ref: 2017.07.x.11.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

14

10

The Satipatthana Sutta is at times very subtle and refined in the awareness level, for example Vedana and perception, how can we bring more of this level of awareness in our daily life? What is the mental formations level more where our work can we done?

Ref: 2017.07.x.14.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

11

4

How can we be mindful of focusing on problems, that arise dependent on the contact of the senses with their objects? Don't problems arise only through unwise thinking/unwise mental formations?

Ref: 2017.07.x.11.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

18

9

Please could you give some advice as how best to balance between the D/D Method, move the attention away from the I and Compassion/Lovingkindness for oneself, which is to focus the attention on the I. The above seen in the light of lessening the Dukkha depends on the eight worldly dhammas.

Ref: 2017.07.x.18.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

16

3

I understand the freedom from Dukkha is possible "no matter the circumstances". Yet it seems wise, if possible not to remain in abusive circumstances. Could you tell something about avoidance and confrontation or aversion and equanimity?

Ref: 2017.07.x.16.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

16

2

I really want to be more equanimous, but it is very difficult to believe, that all Dukkha is rooted in Kamma, every rape victim is only confronted with their own Kamma. Every cancer patient deserves this illness, war victims deserve a violent death, is there a way to open up to this thought that you can share with me?

Ref: 2017.07.x.16.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

17

4

I have a question about a quote from the Alavaka Sutta, "truth is the sweetest of all tastes", but the truth can be bitter sometimes, like being told we failed an exam, are there different types of truths?

Ref: 2017.07.x.17.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

13

6

Do you believe in star signs meanings your birthday somehow determines your character. If so, why and do you in consequence also believe that there is a personal destiny that can be foreseen? Thank you for your answer.

Ref: 2017.07.x.13.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

16

22

Is the concept of Mara always related to one person and one mind? Or is it mentioned on a collective level as well for the example for whole societies?

Ref: 2017.07.x.16.22

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

15

11

Is the amount of Dukkha in the world always on the same level? Example: ISIS fighters in Syria and many wars currently, or is it just the media information more?

Ref: 2017.07.x.15.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

17

8

"The world has its balance of pleasant or not", what do you mean by this?

Ref: 2017.07.x.17.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

12

15

I have heard the causes of Dukkha to be referred to as greed, hatred or ill-will and ignorance and craving, unwise reaction and ignorance. Can you please discuss greed vs craving and hatred vs unwise reaction?

Ref: 2017.07.x.12.15

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

13

7

I have a lot of unhelpful guilt, but I am attached to it, because of the belief that without it I would be a bad person. Can you recommend a practice for letting go of it, but not moral shame, or a practice to help convert guilt into moral shame?

Ref: 2017.07.x.13.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

15

5

What is jealousy? Aversion, wanting fame, under confidence? What antidote?

Ref: 2017.07.x.15.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

12

10

Watching the daily news on TV, in which ways can I use them as beneficial meditation objects instead of feeling disappointed and frustration about the actual political developments?

Ref: 2017.07.x.12.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

15

4

What does not self in the Three Characteristics of Existence mean, can you please explain?

Ref: 2017.07.x.15.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

17

2

I am not sure what to focus on when dying, the Buddha or the Compassion/Loving kind wish?

Ref: 2017.07.x.17.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

14

8

There is Dukkha everywhere, how, why should we consider life as a gift and not a mere fact to best deal with?

Ref: 2017.07.x.14.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Rosemary

13

1

The Four Assurances, a hate free mind, "at death shell I be reborn", I thought I you are purified, you are not getting reborn. The second, third and fourth assurance make sense to me, if I am purified, but I am not, and the Kalamas where not so, so why did the Buddha give that teaching?

Ref: 2017.07.x.13.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

14

12

With the compassion/lovingkindness meditation it sometimes feels like a heavy weight although it is a wish. I found out that there is a subtle or a lot of aversion against Dukkha. I do not feel acceptance with all that Dukkha and that influences the compassion/lovingkindness wish. How to work with it, even if this negative aspect is just subtle?

Ref: 2017.07.x.14.12

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2017

Steve

14

4

Can you explain the difference between delusion, as one of the three root poisons and ignorance as a cause for these three poisons? Where does the ignorance come from?

Ref: 2017.07.x.14.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

18

11

A family member speaks with the intention to hurt, and it does. Ideally should we have compassion for them, knowing that they act in ignorance and have equanimity for the Dukkha, knowing many speak to loved ones harshly every day? But often we are lost in reaction before we know it. Is suppression of our anger and silence, followed by sharp exit and reflection a skillful response at this stage?

Ref: 2015.07.x.18.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

13

4

When we do the D/D on other challenges as loneliness, greed, hatred, does the second part of the meditation, where we increase the intensity of Dukkha stay the same, crying, sitting for hours in a chair or in a room, thinking of committing suicide?

Ref: 2015.07.x.13.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

18

15

Equanimity feels so neutral, is that normal?

Ref: 2015.07.x.18.15

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

16

5

Could you please share some methods on how to reflect and accept impermanence?

Ref: 2015.07.x.16.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

15

5

Could you please explain Lovingkindness? In the Compassion/Lovingkind wish it says, "May so and so overcome difficulties and find peace of mind". Isn't there automatically peace of mind when there are no difficulties?

Ref: 2015.07.x.15.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

16

10

Can you please talk about unfulfilled expectations? Disappointment can be strong sometimes.

Ref: 2015.07.x.16.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

17

2

How to work with envy?

Ref: 2015.07.x.17.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

16

2

Could you please talk about how to do the Compassion/Lovingkindness going through life in a shorter version? It might be helpful in during non-retreat conditions.

Ref: 2015.07.x.16.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

15

3

When doing Compassion/Lovingkindness for people in extreme situations, like the refugees on the boats, I don't know what to do with my emotions, and so I shy away from these topics. What to should I do?

Ref: 2015.07.x.15.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

17

8

When talking with family and friends, is it always best to stick to neutral topics and respond with platitudes to stay, say little, ask questions and really express opinions?

Ref: 2015.07.x.17.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

12

Regarding the Noble Eightfold Path, what is meant by Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration?

Ref: 2015.07.x.12.12

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

14

8

What is the strongest wrong view humans have?

Ref: 2015.07.x.14.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

17

5

It became easier for me to wish difficult people Lovingkindness, because I think it's such a hard way to be freed from Dukkha, so it's no easy thing to do, what do you think about this?

Ref: 2015.07.x.17.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

15

8

Can you please give an example of how to increase the Dukkha of conceit in the second part of the D/D Meditation?

Ref: 2015.07.x.15.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

15

16

In yesterday’s meditation we said, that everything that happens to someone is the result of causes that preceded it, can you please elaborate on this? Does that mean that Dukkha you experience is caused by something you have done? That it's your own fault? And what about children, to explain and understand what happens to them based on previous actions?

Ref: 2015.07.x.15.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Rosemary

15

1

Can ignorance be a state of mind?

Ref: 2015.07.x.15.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

18

The wish to control others seems to be the cause of many difficulties, it taints beneficial qualities and states of mind. Can you talk about how this manifests and how to work with it?

Ref: 2015.07.x.18.18

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2015

Steve

14

2

Are there different intensities of let's say unpleasant Vedana?

Ref: 2015.07.x.14.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

7

8

Isn't the compassionate wish of wishing for the ending of all Dukkha unrealistic? Can we also wish for something that is easier to achieve? How do we tie this seemingly very far goal to our daily life practice?

Ref: 2006.01.x.07.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Steve

5

16

How do we tighten the strings?

Ref: 2006.01.x.05.16

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

7

1

It seems quite arrogant and uncomfortable to wish the animals less Dukkha and peace of mind, and then having them on the plate and eat them. Please, do you have any suggestion on how to bend or change this attitude?

Ref: 2006.01.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

6

What can I do to become less of a worrier?

Ref: 2006.01.x.06.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Steve

8

3

How can we open more to Dukkha in our daily, often speedy life in order to strengthen compassion for ourselves and others more?

Ref: 2006.01.x.08.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Steve

8

4

Can you go over impermanence as a separate reflection and how not being open to it leads to Dukkha?

Ref: 2006.01.x.08.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

6

1

Could you say a little about Renunciation and developing it? Same for Energy.

Ref: 2006.01.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Rosemary

2

3

It is often said that hindsight is 20-20, and we often see a better away after we have done or said something, which can easily fall into self-aversion. How do we prevent and let go of aversions coming from thoughts such as "you should have done it this way"?

Ref: 2006.01.x.02.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2006

Steve

5

3

How can we develop our energy for the practice, and how can we maintain that energy?

Ref: 2006.01.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

6

2

In the Satipattana Sutta, the Buddha said, "And how the hindrances do not arise in the future." For this we use Wise Reflection, right? Anything else?

Ref: 2008.01.x.06.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

6

7

Can you give me more hints on the achievement mind, please?

Ref: 2008.01.x.06.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Steve

8

3

I have a desire personality. In retreat I am quite good at balancing sense desires and bending them into wise desires, desires to learn and to grow. Out of retreat, where indulgence into sense desire is easier, I see myself struggling with this at times. Any suggestions?

Ref: 2008.01.x.08.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

7

2

Could you talk about the Seven Factors of Enlightenment, please? Do they need to be all the same strength and all be present at the same time for enlightenment? How can we strengthen these factors within ourselves?

Ref: 2008.01.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

6

3

Could you explain more why most of us like to hold onto self-pity type of thoughts?

Ref: 2008.01.x.06.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Steve

5

3

In the West, when I see old or disabled people, I try to remember the Buddha's heavenly messengers and think this could be right around the corner for me in order to get more Samvega. Could you please talk about the heavenly messengers including possible other examples besides disabled or old people?

Ref: 2008.01.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

9

1

Can you talk about the difference between pleasure that comes from the worldly dhammas, the Joy factor of enlightenment, and pleasure as the ending of Dukkha?

Ref: 2008.01.x.09.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Steve

3

9

What is more important? To feel the Dukkha of the individual or to universalize afterwards?

Ref: 2008.01.x.03.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Steve

4

The Four Great Efforts were mentioned recently. I think they are: to Prevent, to Let Go, to Develop and to Maintain. Could you talk a little about these, please?Perhaps give examples of how we can put them into our practice?

Ref: 2008.01.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

2

7

Could you please talk about the importance of developing the Unselfish Emotions in relation to the Wisdom practice?

Ref: 2008.01.x.02.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

9

3

Please give some common examples of Equanimity falling into indifference and how to avoid this, especially in relationships with those close to us, family and work?

Ref: 2008.01.x.09.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Steve

5

4

When I have some minor Dukkha, I see the inclination to get more desperate about the Dukkha in the world, like I feel it is myself. Is there a connection?

Ref: 2008.01.x.05.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

6

4

Could you please talk about how we can develop our experiential understanding of Dependent Origination and Kamma?

Ref: 2008.01.x.06.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

2

1

Could you please talk about which techniques to use when dealing with a headache?

Ref: 2008.01.x.02.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Rosemary

2

4

What is the antidote to anger and aversion, Compassion or Equanimity?

Ref: 2008.01.x.02.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2008

Steve

4

7

Can you please explain two Pali words, Metta and Karuna, their meanings and significance, as it seems other Buddhists seem to use Metta to only mean Lovingkindness? I'm confused.

Ref: 2008.01.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

15

9

Would somebody free from Dukkha never feel Embarrassment?

Ref: 2010.01.x.15.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

14

3

Could you please share with us a powerful method on how to cope with hearing music, or other people speaking during meditation, where the label "hearing" may not be effective at once?

Ref: 2010.01.x.14.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

15

7

If you are no longer in the cycle of life and death when you become enlightened, then what happens to you? Do you live forever? What did the Buddha describe enlightenment to be like?

Ref: 2010.01.x.15.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

12

5

Why are the retreats usually ten days long? Why not eight, or eleven, or twelve? Is that a tradition?

Ref: 2010.01.x.12.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

17

9

For some meditations you get us to imagine people who are suffering more than us, but what about the person who is suffering the most?

Ref: 2010.01.x.17.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

16

3

How can we react when we are looking for fame all the time?

Ref: 2010.01.x.16.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

13

1

Could you please talk about the role of impermanence with letting go of fear? Example: If I have a strong fear of a difficult event occurring in the future and I know, "You can't 100 percent prevent it from happening." It helps to think, "Well, if it does happen, it is impermanent, it is Dukkha, but it won't last forever." How does this relate to the D/D reflection? Which reflection should you do come first?

Ref: 2010.01.x.13.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

16

11

I find it very difficult to feel compassion for people who are conceited because it is hard to imagine their difficulties, since they may not feel that they actually have difficulties, as they already think they are perfect. They don't seem to feel the negative effects of it. They just feel good.

Ref: 2010.01.x.16.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

17

7

Why is the process of dying so important in Theravadin Buddhism What do you personally think will happen when you die? How would you handle this?

Ref: 2010.01.x.17.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

15

10

Can you please explain the difference between Equanimity as a Parami and Equanimity as a Brahma Vihara?

Ref: 2010.01.x.15.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

13

5

How important is Equanimity?

Ref: 2010.01.x.13.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

17

11

For the forgiveness meditation, is it more skillful to include reflection on our Kamma at that time, followed by reflection on Equanimity?

Ref: 2010.01.x.17.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

13

2

If one desires to teach children meditation, at what age should they start? Which techniques do you recommend? And how can we encourage them to reflect on Compassion and Dukkha?

Ref: 2010.01.x.13.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Steve

12

11

Perceptions, as far as I have observed, quite often arise without being conscious of them. Can I actually prevent the following chain reaction of mental formations from taking over, and even prevent perceptions by simply noting "seeing, seeing", "hearing, hearing", etc.?

Ref: 2010.01.x.12.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

15

3

Is grief a kind of non-accepting Dukkha? What kind of meditation can I use to avoid grief?

Ref: 2010.01.x.15.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

15

6

Is it worth trying to figure out what events or serious events led you to be a certain way? For example: how did I become such a jealous person? Or is that feeding the thought?

Ref: 2010.01.x.15.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2010

Rosemary

17

5

Is all suffering caused by ourselves?

Ref: 2010.01.x.17.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

8

15

How did the great masters get their knowledge, wisdom about subjects beyond our own levels of understanding?

Ref: 2003.01.x.08.15

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

2

5

If a person or any being is suffering very much, and there is no way to help or to cure, is it not a sort of Compassion to help to kill this being?

Ref: 2003.01.x.02.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

9

3

When I see Dukkha, death, or the grief of another, my mind reflects, sends out a compassionate wish, and then thinks, "What's for lunch?" or a similar thing. There seems to be an aversion to letting things get too heavy, perhaps from the fear of getting upset and crying. In our daily life, how long should we reflect on Dukkha when we see it, and what should we do to make sure our reflections are balanced, not overly sad, nor overly indifferent.

Ref: 2003.01.x.09.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

6

8

I live in a house full of spiders. Millions of daddy long legs. I don't mind the spiders, but it's the cobwebs I have a problem with. I have tried brushing away the cobwebs and relocating the spiders, but this is a lost cause because of their numbers. At times I want to get the house sprayed, but then I feel ashamed at the thought of willingly killing beings so that I can have a clean ceiling.

Ref: 2003.01.x.06.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

5

6

Can you please explain "Paticcasamuppada"?

Ref: 2003.01.x.05.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

7

10

Is it OK, if I reflect for example on Dukkha and a wise thought about impermanence is coming up, to change the subject, or should I let go of this thought and go back to the reflection on Dukkha?

Ref: 2003.01.x.07.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Rosemary

2

7

What can you suggest to cope with the feelings of guilt, for instance after inflicting mental Dukkha on someone else. This would have occurred through ignorance, not wrong intention. However, the guilty feeling remains strong.

Ref: 2003.01.x.02.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

4

Sometimes when I make a mistake, I feel Moral Shame, but then no Moral Dread. What can I do to open up to Moral Dread, so that in the future I will try harder to not make a similar mistake again?

Ref: 2003.01.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2003

Steve

3

In the scriptures there is a long list of defilements, impurities, hindrances, roots, nuts, corruptions etc. Is it important to know them all, or can we note them when they are there or when they are absent?

Ref: 2003.01.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

3

7

How to differentiate between desire and something that is really good for you, considering food, health, body exercise, friends, relatives, contacts and experiences? How to discriminate without aversion or desire?

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Rosemary

6

1

The Sabbasava Sutta talks about the dangers of becoming enmeshed in views, the jungle of views, the wilderness of views, the scuttling in views, the agitation of views, the fetters of views. Could you please give some examples of these?

Ref: 2009.01.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Rosemary

7

1

What is sadness, what is depression, in Dhamma terms? Why do you think they are treated as unavoidable diseases almost? Once established as a norm in our mind, do you think we can cure them with Vipassana practice? Thank you.

Ref: 2009.01.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

5

9

Can you tell me more about idealism towards others, in particular my colleagues at work?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

5

2

What is the use of wishing?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

8

10

I experienced again some strange mental phenomena. How can I react properly?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Rosemary

9

3

Out of compassion for the suffering of an animal, many people choose to euthanize the animal. Would you please discuss Compassionate Intention, Dukkha and Kamma of this action?

Ref: 2009.01.x.09.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

5

8

I can observe that my ability to watch the body mind process and the Five Aggregates is increasing. Can you give more hints on that?

Ref: 2009.01.x.05.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

3

Thinking in Dhamma terms: Is selfishness a form of greed or aversion or a mix or something else? Is it useful to try to quantify and define it in this way or is this just intellectualizing?

Ref: 2009.01.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2009

Steve

8

2

Do you have any tips for making resolutions, choosing what is appropriate for ourselves etc.?

Ref: 2009.01.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Steve

5

6

Could you please explain the difference between wise aversion and the hindrance of aversion. Does wise aversion result in Dukkha in any way?

Ref: 2011.07.x.05.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Steve

3

9

I recently had some spontaneous unexpected past life memories. These have proven disturbing and insightful on some of life’s challenges and relationship dynamics. Could you please discuss the role of Kamma and how to clear and purify bad past Kamma. Also, is everything a result of Kamma or is there also chance and chaos at work?

Ref: 2011.07.x.03.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

7

Although I know that it is very valuable to be here, I sometimes I have the thoughts coming up for the wish for the ending of the period or of the fear of the next period. Can you help me with this?

Ref: 2011.07.x.07.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

7

3

Could you please talk about transforming difficult emotions?

Ref: 2011.07.x.07.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

6

5

What are the benefits of keeping the body as still as possible?

Ref: 2011.07.x.06.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

6

4

How can we know and find out that we suppress unpleasant emotions instead of working with them?

Ref: 2011.07.x.06.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

9

1

Could you please speak about how to completely forgive.

Ref: 2011.07.x.09.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Rosemary

6

2

How can we grow more in energy, resolution and truthfulness?

Ref: 2011.07.x.06.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Steve

3

1

Can we use the Four Noble Truths as a formal meditation topic? If so do you have any suggestions on how to do it, particularly the 4th noble truth?

Ref: 2011.07.x.03.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Steve

4

7

I read a quote, “To acquire knowledge one must study, but to acquire wisdom one must observe”. What are your thoughts on this?

Ref: 2011.07.x.04.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2011

Steve

5

8

How can we learn to identify better with the Dukkha of others? Especially if it is a kind of Dukkha that we haven’t experienced yet?

Ref: 2011.07.x.05.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Rosemary

2

Can you please talk about self-pity and how we can recognize it in our practice and daily life?

Ref: 2010.07.x.02.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

5

10

Do we progress in our practice only as far as our Kamma permits us? What is the interconnection between Kamma and an individuals will and effort? What comes first?

Ref: 2010.07.x.05.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Rosemary

2

1

How can we react when selfish emotions arise? What reflections can we use?

Ref: 2010.07.x.02.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

4

1

Can you go over the Five Hindrances again, and give guidance on how to meditate, or not, on them.

Ref: 2010.07.x.04.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

5

12

We meditate so much on Dukkha and on all the pain that I am losing my equanimity and falling into despair, and confidence inspiring thoughts become too difficult to bring to mind. Can you please speak about positive uplifting qualities, and good things that we can get energy and inspiration from?

Ref: 2010.07.x.05.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

4

2

Other people and situations often put different demands upon us. Could you please explain how to investigate with wisdom, for example, is it a wanted demand? Is it an appropriate demand, etc.? Also does it make sense to apply the terms "fair" / "unfair" to demands. If yes, how to judge? If no, what is wrong about "fair" / "unfair" in this context?

Ref: 2010.07.x.04.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Rosemary

9

6

Please talk more about the process of stopping compassion from falling into aversion, especially regarding other people's actions?

Ref: 2010.07.x.09.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Rosemary

7

4

We're asked to meditate on the Ten Paramis. These are all rather complex, so it's hard to know where to start or end. For example, Renunciation, renunciation of what? What type of Morality, etc.? Can you go into more depth on each of the Paramis?

Ref: 2010.07.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

5

3

If a loved one, for example a family member, rejects our advice or help, then a negative result happens just as we said it would, but then they still don't agree with our suggested behavior, should we avoid them?

Ref: 2010.07.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

4

Sometimes I tend to be very idealistic towards others and I expect them to be perfect. That causes a lot of disappointment when I realize that they aren't perfect. What can I do?

Ref: 2010.07.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

5

8

Is it possible to indulge in one sense desire without letting it get out of control? As long as that sense desire is not unbeneficial, for example dancing, creating art, playing music, a game, admiring beautiful things... must we always think of Dukkha when we are enjoying life?

Ref: 2010.07.x.05.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2010

Steve

5

7

I recognize that my own Dukkha is small in comparison to the Dukkha of others. But I still find no resolution to the problem and it keeps returning in my mind, almost spinning out of control. I tried the techniques but still I cannot find peace of mind. What should I do?

Ref: 2010.07.x.05.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Rosemary

9

8

A walking track, too hot or too cold, boredom, unfriendliness and even minor pain; I tend to move on directly. Why should I stay?

Ref: 2003.04.x.09.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2003

Rosemary

7

4

We are continually reading about how the AIDS virus is decimating the population of Africa. We feel the utmost Compassion for them as they probably do not have the medical help to aid them. But how would we be able to combat our anger and despair if a loved one contracted the disease when they had been given contaminated blood during a supposedly life-saving blood transfusion, or as we read so often, the policeman contracts it doing his duty.

Ref: 2003.04.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

11

10

Can you please explain why you list Compassion before Lovingkindness in the Brahma Viharas, mostly they are listed the other way around?

Ref: 2019.07.x.11.10

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

14

11

If during Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation, Compassion changes into pity and suffering with someone, how can I strengthen Equanimity?

Ref: 2019.07.x.14.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Rosemary

17

7

What role does the development of powerful levels of concentration play it the development of selfless emotions?

Ref: 2019.07.x.17.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

12

13

I think you said once, that the best or most spiritual progress can be made between ages 45 - 65, can you elaborate?

Ref: 2019.07.x.12.13

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

11

3

How can I strengthen my Compassion/Lovingkindness wish, especially for difficult people?

Ref: 2019.07.x.11.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

12

1

Can you please talk about how it feels or looks like when you are generous, helpful, without being conceited about it?

Ref: 2019.07.x.12.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

11

12

What can I do when aversion against Dukkha comes up strongly?

Ref: 2019.07.x.11.12

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

18

22

I have let go of so much Dukkha since I started to practice, I sometimes feel there is not much left, at the moment. Can this be the reason for my slower growth, not enough Dukkha ? Or am I not seeing clearly?

Ref: 2019.07.x.18.22

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

18

7

How to avoid suppression of emotion and naturally occurring physical responses when cultivating equanimity?

Ref: 2019.07.x.18.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

18

16

Without Dukkha there would be no need for compassion/lovingkindness and no need for the Dhamma, right?

Ref: 2019.07.x.18.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Rosemary

13

1

Can you please explain how Compassion brings up courage?

Ref: 2019.07.x.13.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

16

12

The systematic ways of reflecting about Sympathetic Joy seem to be limited compare to Compassion/Lovingkindness reflections. Do I need to reflect more about Sympathetic Joy? What can I do, when I run out of systematic ways?

Ref: 2019.07.x.16.12

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

12

17

According to the scriptures, is there something like a final and global defeat of Mara by all beings or is it an eternal cycle were Mara can only be defeated individually by a person becoming enlightened?

Ref: 2019.07.x.12.17

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

11

9

What is meant with selfish views and opinions? Can you give examples?

Ref: 2019.07.x.11.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Rosemary

17

2

What is the antidote to self-pity?

Ref: 2019.07.x.17.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Rosemary

15

8

Please talk about Determination, what are its benefits? Why is it one of the last Paramis? What factors increase it?

Ref: 2019.07.x.15.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2019

Steve

12

What is the root of self-righteousness? And what is the best medicine against it?

Ref: 2019.07.x.12.12

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

3

1

Does all Dukkha come from ignorance, craving and unwise reactions? Or are there more causes? Can you explain more about the causes of Dukkha?

Ref: 2006.09.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

8

3

Please explain more about Anatta. How can I meditate deeper about Anatta? What benefits come from contemplation about Anatta?

Ref: 2006.09.x.08.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

5

3

Could you please explain the difference between ignorance and craving as causes for Dukkha?

Ref: 2006.09.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2006

Steve

3

8

Can you please talk about Dukkha and how to accept its existence better?

Ref: 2006.09.x.03.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Steve

8

11

How shall I handle the frequency of usage of all the techniques I was taught?

Ref: 2005.07.x.08.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Steve

3

8

In yesterday's guided meditation we were supposed to feel compassion for a lonely guy in the corner shooting smack. Fair enough. Then later we find out he has two kids who he decides to murder. Why should I feel compassion for him? If he has two kids he has no right to be shooting up with smack. He deserves a slap and being dragged to a rehabilitation center, that would be compassion. It might help if your comments on this would broaden in my understanding.

Ref: 2005.07.x.03.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Rosemary

2

5

Can you talk more about how idealism manifests in the practice and it's relationship with self-pity and self-hatred? I understand that excessive idealism can be the cause of self-pity. What are some other causes of self-pity?

Ref: 2005.07.x.02.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Rosemary

7

5

In last night's meditation, the subject was the importance of balancing compassion with equanimity. I understand compassion to be kind of a sympathy for someone's Dukkha, and a wish for the end of that Dukkha. I understand equanimity to be a balanced and unexcited mind. But I don't understand the phrase "the importance of balancing compassion with equanimity." Please explain.

Ref: 2005.07.x.07.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Rosemary

2

9

What does the statement, "You do not have enough Compassion for yourself" mean. Can you please give some examples?

Ref: 2005.07.x.02.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2005

Rosemary

6

7

Please can you give us some hints about how to balance compassion so that Dukkha in the world does not overwhelm us?

Ref: 2005.07.x.06.07

Written answer

Berlin QA September 2008

Rosemary

8

2

How can I develop more patience with myself and others?

Ref: 2008.09.x.08.02

Written answer

Berlin QA September 2008

Rosemary

7

2

How do you deal with the opposite of complacency; when you have too much self-criticism? For example when I'm too hard on myself, too critical that I'm still not that generous, that I'm still not that patient, etc.

Ref: 2008.09.x.07.02

Written answer

Berlin QA September 2008

Rosemary

8

4

Is having acceptance of Dukkha the same as having Compassion?

Ref: 2008.09.x.08.04

Written answer

Berlin QA September 2008

Rosemary

8

6

I believe we become wiser by getting older. What do you think about this?

Ref: 2008.09.x.08.06

Written answer

Singapore QA January 2005

Rosemary

1

6

What personal benefits or changes in your life have you personally experienced from meditation?

Ref: 2005.02.x.01.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Steve

8

12

What are the results of bad speech?

Ref: 2009.09.x.08.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Rosemary

6

4

Which kind of meditation would you recommend to get rid of grief?

Ref: 2009.09.x.06.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Rosemary

6

3

How did you come to deep confidence in the Dhamma? Were there certain moments that strengthened your confidence in a special way or did it simply grow gradually?

Ref: 2009.09.x.06.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Steve

8

3

How do conceit, pride and stubbornness relate to each other?

Ref: 2009.09.x.08.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Rosemary

6

2

How would you treat a drug-addicted friend?

Ref: 2009.09.x.06.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Steve

5

4

According to the Law of Kamma, good actions lead to a good rebirth. How can I do a lot of good Kamma and at the same time avoid getting reborn in the heaven realm, instead getting reborn human again?

Ref: 2009.09.x.05.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2009

Steve

4

6

Please can you explain the word "Sukkha" in more detail. Can we hold it or is it better to work on letting it go? Thanks.

Ref: 2009.09.x.04.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

3

To me, the goal of enlightenment is a bit abstract. How can we use it in a practical way in our daily practice? And, are there any enlightened people in the world, do you know any?

Ref: 2004.09.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Rosemary

7

4

Impermanence is the primary reason for Dukkha. Could you please expand on it especially with regards to wanting pleasure, fame, gain and praise to be permanent?

Ref: 2004.09.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

8

11

Can you explain determination?

Ref: 2004.09.x.08.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

4

8

What do you mean when you say we have to be aware of when a problem exists, and when it doesn't exist Dukkha doesn't exist?

Ref: 2004.09.x.04.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Rosemary

7

5

Often I feel your methods to develop Compassion and Lovingkindness are not appropriate, and instead of Compassion, I develop depression, aversion, fear and worry. What is that? What am I not able to?

Ref: 2004.09.x.07.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2004

Steve

5

7

When I face very uncomfortable feelings like mourning, I have a tendency to let myself fall into sloth and torpor. How can I try to prevent hiding myself from these feelings in a wise way?

Ref: 2004.09.x.05.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

13

19

Investigation into mental objects is a enlightenment factor, wise reflection is to develop right view. So, is investigating into mental objects, is not that wise reflection? When to apply what?

Ref: 2018.07.x.13.19

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

13

12

Is there always the same amount of Dukkha in the world? Is it possible to reduce it in the sense of the total amount?

Ref: 2018.07.x.13.12

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

15

11

I am struggling with the compassion/lovingkindness wish for the little creatures I might hurt with my walking meditation. Do not get me wrong, it is one of my favorites, so that it is a great reminder that in many ways I live this life at the cost of others, but this is making it about me again. What can I wish for a being that I am about to hurt?

Ref: 2018.07.x.15.11

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

14

16

With all this Dukkha in this world, I wondering if it is better to be a pessimist instead of an optimist, is this correct?

Ref: 2018.07.x.14.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

5

Could you give an example about how to use the Four Noble Truths for reflection, for example when you are in sorrow?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

15

4

How do we know that we have practiced in the right way?

Ref: 2018.07.x.15.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

13

21

Could you explain more about the light lovingkindness side of the meditation and the heavy compassion analytical side?

Ref: 2018.07.x.13.21

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

15

3

How can the general Dukkha of life, illness, decay, old age and death caused by greed or aversion?

Ref: 2018.07.x.15.03

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

16

1

If Metta and Compassion/Lovingkindness are the same, why do not you call it for example a guided Metta meditation?

Ref: 2018.07.x.16.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

16

5

May you please speak more about the Energy Parami? I would not consider myself particularly energetic in the formal meditation, especially when I am falling asleep after time.

Ref: 2018.07.x.16.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

14

6

Yesterday it was mentioned that it is not known what is superstition and what is really in the scriptures, how do we know that Buddha was 500 times physically reborn? How do we know that a rebirth in the scriptures does also can mean to wake up a next day with a new state if mind, so, one is mentally reborn?

Ref: 2018.07.x.14.06

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

15

7

Could you please talk about the Seven Factors of Enlightenment? How to develop them?

Ref: 2018.07.x.15.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

12

9

Does it make a difference when practicing on compassion and lovingkindness we affirm positives rather than denounce negatives: "May I be healthy" versus: "May I be free from illness"?

Ref: 2018.07.x.12.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

Would you tell us how you, Rosemary and Steve, find yourself on this path?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.17

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

7

What is said about committing suicide, when we with the biggest wish for any Dukkha in the world committed?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

13

9

How do I know if I have enough compassion for myself? Is there a feeling?

Ref: 2018.07.x.13.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

11

8

Can Compassion only exist when there is Dukkha?

Ref: 2018.07.x.11.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

24

I struggle with forgiving myself, the wish that I did not do what I did is very strong. How may I get around this?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.24

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

16

7

How to get rid of the judging mind?

Ref: 2018.07.x.16.07

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

12

8

What is ignorance? How does it manifest?

Ref: 2018.07.x.12.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

16

Could you give an example of the to care and not to care reflection on the personal level with ourselves, friends and family level, global level?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.16

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

14

1

Does a partnership have its own Dukkha or is it just the Dukkha of the individual partners?

Ref: 2018.07.x.14.01

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

14

9

Could you clarify compassion, is it the understanding that Dukkha exists, or is there more to it?

Ref: 2018.07.x.14.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

16

9

Could you please repeat the phrase you use in the Five Reflections concerning balancing Compassion and Equanimity and comment on it?

Ref: 2018.07.x.16.09

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

12

2

When is it good to react on Dukkha with compassion and when with equanimity?

Ref: 2018.07.x.12.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

17

2

Why is the Noble Eightfold Path so hard to work? In daily life wrong actions seem often more easy to do. Why is doing the right thing sometimes hard work? How to make it the obvious choice?

Ref: 2018.07.x.17.02

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Steve

13

20

What kind of ignorance are we typically not aware off? How to sharpen the awareness?

Ref: 2018.07.x.13.20

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

16

8

Could you please explain more about the quality of heedfulness and why our Buddha said in the last words: "Strive on with Heedfulness"?

Ref: 2018.07.x.16.08

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

18

4

What do you mean when you say to reflect that the eight worldly dhammas can block us from understanding reality, from seeing the three characteristics?

Ref: 2018.07.x.18.04

Audio answer

Special Retreat Germany July 2018

Rosemary

18

5

How to deal with unfulfilled expectations in a relationship?

Ref: 2018.07.x.18.05

Audio answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Steve

3

1

From the guided Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation yesterday, I could just arouse compassion for a suicide, but a murder is quite beyond me. Is it a case of separating the person from the deed?

Ref: 2005.04.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Steve

4

7

A teacher once told me that "if there ain't no Dukkha there ain't no practice". Now I thought this was a bit strong. What do you think?

Ref: 2005.04.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Australia April 2005

Steve

4

6

On my first trip to a monastery in Taiwan, I was told by a Monk, "You don't exist." As an attention grabber this was certainly powerful. I have never really got more than the most tenuous grip on the word Anatta, a Pali word in Buddhism, though I'm sure my anger feeds my ego and vice versa. Do you see non-self or not-self as being literally true at some level or do I really "not exist"?

Ref: 2005.04.x.04.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

4

1

Mara's many mirrors. It can be difficult to know whether we are really practicing non-attachment, and therefore following the Buddha's teachings, or just selfishly following our own wishes, without care for how others may feel about our actions/speech. The non-caring attitude being justified as "practicing correctly". Can you guide us through this web of good intention, ignorance and conceit? Please mention how selfishness and indifference can be avoided while Saddha can be increased, while maintaining a good Dhamma practice, especially important with our close Kalyanamittas.

Ref: 2007.07.x.04.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

3

1

Can you please talk about Wrong View, and give an example?

Ref: 2007.07.x.03.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

2

7

Remembering the application form here, and the questions describing how we feel about our relationship to our parents, I wondered about what particular importance or relevance you take from the answers? Also is there any link in your minds with the work of psychologists, particularly Freud, who based much of an adult's mind make-up on their reactions to early family life, e.g. mother/father complexes, etc.? Did you study psychology as well as the Buddha Dhamma? Do you think a healthy, balanced mind is reliant on having a specific relationship to one's parents/early carers?

Ref: 2007.07.x.02.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

9

8

I was having trouble having Compassion/Lovingkindness towards a situation maybe because I had the feeling of wanting someone to change their behavior. I then switched to just noting "It's their Kamma, I can't change it" and the Equanimity helped lessen my attachment. I was then able to have more Compassion/Lovingkindness again. Could you please talk about the role of Equanimity in developing Compassion and Lovingkindness including what are the signs that we need more of it?

Ref: 2007.07.x.09.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

6

14

Often when I do Compassionate/Lovingkindness meditation for myself, I think of my current challenges/Dukkha. How much should we bring up the old Dukkha from our past so we can remember and don't cling to it?

Ref: 2007.07.x.06.14

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

3

2

How Mara's many mirrors distort reality. Why is it so difficult just to see things as they are? A leaf as a leaf? A person as a fellow human being caught up in Samara? Is it because we are always looking for hidden meanings, a secret truth? In other words, not satisfied with bare reality; denying it, not wishing to acknowledge that Dukkha simply exists?

Ref: 2007.07.x.03.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

6

3

Could you please talk about the importance of opening up to unwanted emotions like envy, jealousy and such?

Ref: 2007.07.x.06.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

7

2

Sometimes when I reflect about Dukkha and do Compassionate/Lovingkindness, I feel a distance and separation. Mara then tries to tell me that's good and protecting me. How can we feel more confident, less afraid to open to Dukkha? How can we understand on a deeper level that the separation, rather than protecting, is actually causing us Dukkha?

Ref: 2007.07.x.07.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

8

12

Please talk about the habit of rushing, and the chronic "need" to feel "busy", so much a Western drive. I'm trying to overcome the seeming addiction to the adrenalin rush these unwholesome states provide. Could overdoing sport be seen similarly?

Ref: 2007.07.x.08.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

6

10

Please talk more about Mara, ignorance, and how to work with it in daily life.

Ref: 2007.07.x.06.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

2

10

In the Old Students talk you mentioned how meditators can get complacent and don't want to uncover the subtler forms of Dukkha in our practice. Can you give examples of what you mean by this, and how reflections help?

Ref: 2007.07.x.02.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

5

10

When you reflect about your past good actions, and have joy with them, is there also the danger to become conceited? How could you prevent this?

Ref: 2007.07.x.05.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

2

4

How does bowing help to develop courage?

Ref: 2007.07.x.02.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Rosemary

2

5

How does a meditator in this tradition balance Compassion and Equanimity in formal meditation and in everyday life?

Ref: 2007.07.x.02.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2007

Steve

4

7

I hear you both say "give without expecting anything in return". Isn't the good Kamma that comes to us our reward for giving?

Ref: 2007.07.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

4

How to let go of attachment to the 8 worldly dhammas?

Ref: 2007.09.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Rosemary

9

8

What do you think about connecting the concentration on the breathing with a little wish, for example, "I breath in confidence, I breath out my fears"?

Ref: 2007.09.x.09.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

4

7

How can we find the balance between right thinking, speech and action, and wrong thinking, speech and action? How can we recognize if we have right or wrong thinking, speech and actions?

Ref: 2007.09.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

8

7

Why is Mara so hard to defeat? How to recognize Mara?

Ref: 2007.09.x.08.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

5

8

How do we develop wisdom?

Ref: 2007.09.x.05.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Rosemary

7

4

How can we get more lightness in our practice, our normal daily life when it feels heavy?

Ref: 2007.09.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

8

2

If your partner is not a meditator, what is a good way to communicate with them about what you are doing and why it is important to you?

Ref: 2007.09.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Rosemary

9

10

Can you please talk more about the Noble Eightfold Path?

Ref: 2007.09.x.09.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Rosemary

9

4

When and why did you decide to live a Buddhist life?

Ref: 2007.09.x.09.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

8

6

What may be the Kammic result of killing the slugs and worms who are eating away the vegetables and crops I depend on?

Ref: 2007.09.x.08.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

5

6

Things don't change overnight. Even if I have made a strong resolution to change, which methods help me to resist in situations when confronted with temptation, for example being offered chocolates, alcohol or other people making unbeneficial jokes about other people?

Ref: 2007.09.x.05.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Rosemary

7

1

How can we separate guilt and Moral Shame in a more detailed kind of way?

Ref: 2007.09.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2007

Steve

3

Could you please explain some more about the relationship between Compassion and Lovingkindness, and why it is important to balance them in our Compassion/Lovingkindness meditation?

Ref: 2007.09.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Steve

5

2

My partner and I are trying to make up our mind whether to try to have children or not. Different ideas and thoughts arise. Shall we better spend our money or time for meditation, or will we deepen our compassion when having a child? Shall we give another being the chance to grow up with the Dhamma, or better to help those who are already alive? Maybe work at a meditation center or a Buddhist orphanage?

Ref: 2003.09.x.05.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Rosemary

6

What is an unpleasant spiritual feeling? Meditation pain? I guess Moral Shame? Could you please talk more about it?

Ref: 2003.09.x.06.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Germany September 2003

Steve

5

6

If Dukkha may manifest at any moment, (and it does for sure) how can I be responsible of my own Dukkha?

Ref: 2003.09.x.05.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Steve

5

9

If, for example, someone is a very fast and risky driver, and has no accident. I understand that they are using up their good Kamma, which protects them. What if someone drives very carefully and defensive, but doesn't use the seatbelt or a motorbike driver doesn't use a helmet, not bringing up the effort to prevent. Is that also using up good Kamma?

Ref: 2009.07.x.05.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Rosemary

2

6

Can you please talk about the nature of praise and blame, concern about others judgment of you and its relation to Dukkha, especially fear?

Ref: 2009.07.x.02.06

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Rosemary

2

5

I have the "you should/should not" attitude. Can you help me with this?

Ref: 2009.07.x.02.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Rosemary

2

1

Can you please give details of what the perfection of Renunciation entails.

Ref: 2009.07.x.02.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand July 2009

Rosemary

9

7

Please talk one more time about the step from Right Understanding to Right Intention.

Ref: 2009.07.x.09.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

3

5

Please can you explain the value of the Five and Eight Precepts?

Ref: 2000.01.x.03.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

4

14

Do Metta (Lovingkindness/Compassion) meditations work like a one-hundredth monkey effect? When we actually visualize someone we know in a meditation, can they be somehow lifted up kammicly by wishing them ease of suffering, are we praying?

Ref: 2000.01.x.04.14

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

4

8

I find it difficult to meditate on Equanimity. Could you please give some examples?

Ref: 2000.01.x.04.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

6

2

Please can you remind me of the pattern of Sympathetic Joy meditation or give another one?

Ref: 2000.01.x.06.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

4

2

It seems easy to wish Compassion and Lovingkindness for myself, yet the emphasis and wordings of this morning's meditation leaves me with some doubt that maybe it shouldn't be so easy to wish this for myself.

Ref: 2000.01.x.04.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

6

11

Could you please elaborate on the dependent arising nature of Dukkha, give an example, especially for Dukkha relating to Desire?

Ref: 2000.01.x.06.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

9

Sometimes while observing physical sensations in the body in a formal posture, as well as lying down to sleep, I have experienced a jolt in the body as if I were shot by an electrical current. I've learnt to become equanimous, just noting and bringing awareness back through the body, but still this equanimous mind remains curious about this phenomena. Any insight?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

1

What can I do if aversion arises against Compassion and Lovingkindness meditation?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

3

Sometimes a hindrance like planning comes up frequently, not all at once, but again and again, and most times I note it, then it disappears quickly. Is it enough just to note it, or does it still have an effect through it's coming up so often, and would I need a balancing Reflection at some point?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

18

What do I do if I can't seem to feel compassion for certain people?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.18

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

4

7

Can you talk about Right Concentration, and it's role in the practice? How it supports the other seven parts of the Noble Eightfold Path?

Ref: 2000.01.x.04.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

12

Is it important to confess unwise actions to others or is it enough to confess them inside ourselves?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

17

Rosemary talked about a story of a person who lost a child the other day. Can you tell us the story?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.17

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

7

15

What is attachment made of? Fear of loss or desire?

Ref: 2000.01.x.07.15

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

3

How do we work with the achieving mind, to balance it and to put it to good use?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

2

What kind of Reflection could help to lessen the self-pity mind?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

6

12

Please explain, can someone who has a big ego be a good teacher, and what is the problem with the ego, can you talk a little bit about the ego?

Ref: 2000.01.x.06.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

Do you have any suggestions about where I could hang out if I become fully enlightened in this lifetime? I thought that perhaps I could start by spending the winters at Wat Kow Tahm, roaming from beach to beach in the afternoons, talking to hung over tourists about Dukkha and unpleasant physical sensations.

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

9

Would you like to give a numbered list of the contents of the tool box?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Steve

4

10

Is the amount of Dukkha in the world or the universe constant, and does Buddhism see a chance to decrease it if more people would meditate harder?

Ref: 2000.01.x.04.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

5

13

What can you do if you see a certain warping of compassion towards somebody occurring? That is, a feeling of superiority/inferiority arises, the benevolent offerer of compassion, very unskillfully done, feeling perked up and above somehow the receiver. Obviously not a true compassionate heart, but if it should be tainted even to a slight degree with this feeling, what can be done?

Ref: 2000.01.x.05.13

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

3

9

I have been adding the phrase "may these _____ be free of..." at the end of my reflection of Compassion and then going into the Lovingkindness wish. The idea was to strengthen the short form of the Compassion and Lovingkindness. Do you see any troubles with this?

Ref: 2000.01.x.03.09

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

7

How can I find out that my practice is in balance?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

6

7

Rosemary talked about changing objects of meditation yesterday, say from the breathing to being aware of a sensation in the body, unpleasant sensation in the body leading to a reflection on impermanence and said that is ok. Was she only referring to this being ok while doing the breathing or is it ok for doing also with Reflection meditation?

Ref: 2000.01.x.06.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000

Rosemary

8

1

Please can you give some example(s) of how to make a short form of Compassion and Lovingkindness meditation?

Ref: 2000.01.x.08.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Rosemary

6

13

When I go back home, I'm surrounded by people with wrong views and wrong actions. How can I avoid: a) feeling superior, b) feeling depressed, or c) getting influenced by their behavior?

Ref: 2005.01.x.06.13

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Steve

5

What are the differences between Mahayana Buddhism and Theravadin Buddhism? How to keep our view in harmony with their view point.

Ref: 2005.01.x.05.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Steve

8

21

How can you develop Resolution?

Ref: 2005.01.x.08.21

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Steve

3

When we have deep conditioning for things and we know they're unbeneficial, how can we force a letting go?

Ref: 2005.01.x.03.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Steve

4

3

When we see what we perceive to be beautiful people and objects and desire and attachment arise. How can we reflect on this other than using Impermanence?

Ref: 2005.01.x.04.03

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Rosemary

2

Could you please explain investigation into mental objects?

Ref: 2005.01.x.02.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Steve

3

4

What are the benefits of investigating into the hindrances, how they arise? Is it just for attaining better concentration, how does it help understanding Dukkha and its causes?

Ref: 2005.01.x.03.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Steve

5

2

How to explain to a good friend that indulging sensual pleasure will lead to Dukkha? If he is not practicing awareness and also not seeing the outcome of it. (maybe to care and not to care).

Ref: 2005.01.x.05.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2005

Rosemary

2

1

How do we investigate deeper into the causes of our own Dukkha?

Ref: 2005.01.x.02.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Steve

5

1

Could you please expand on how to see Dukkha in the Western world and society? In Asia, it seems more visible with old age, decay, death, poverty and disease being part of everyday encounters. While in the West, old things are quickly replaced, death is being more hidden, old people often away in homes, etc.

Ref: 2002.01.x.05.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Rosemary

7

4

When the World Trade Center was attacked I was shocked, grieved. I read the newspaper, bought magazines, trying to understand what had happened. I opened myself to the Dukkha of all people involved and by reading the news and stories it helped. However after a while I began to wonder, has my motivation shifted from trying to understand and having compassion, to sinking into the drama of it all? When we open our sense doors in order to see Dukkha, how can we know when it's time to shut them, when we have learned enough?

Ref: 2002.01.x.07.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Rosemary

7

1

How can one better use their observations of Dukkha for cultivation of Compassion, rather than turning to judgement? Example: I see a person who sees another person pull out a cigarette. From seeing that they are smoking then another person does the same and so on. I think to myself "look what you have done, you shouldn't smoke it because it causes others to smoke. Dukkha is spreading because of what you are doing". Is this judgement?

Ref: 2002.01.x.07.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Steve

8

7

Much Dukkha seems to come from the misinterpretation of meditation experiences. For example, the different stages of concentration. Could you please talk about the dangers on the path of purification, and how we can protect ourselves from them?

Ref: 2002.01.x.08.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Steve

8

4

I have always had quite a strong view that much of the suffering in the world is preventable; for example, if food and wealth were equally distributed and people able to develop their potential to be kind, compassionate, etc. However, this brings up some conflict in me, when trying to accept Dukkha and the world as it is. How can I reconcile this, not wanting to lose hope and motivation to improve things, but being realistic about the way the world is and what I am able to do? The desire to alleviate suffering and aversion to it seem very closely linked.

Ref: 2002.01.x.08.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2002

Rosemary

6

2

Can you please explain the difference between ignorance, unwise reaction and clinging within the cycle of Dependent Origination since they all are different causes for Dukkha but seem to be very similar or interrelated?

Ref: 2002.01.x.06.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

2

1

I have a friend whose father recently had a heart attack and is trying to recover, but is still in a serious condition. I know that my friend is struggling to find balance inside, and with making time to visit his father, spend time with his three children, his job and so on. To help him find balance, I know that the D/D method and the other tools taught here could help him greatly. He hasn't asked for my help but is usually open and respects my opinions. My questions are: When is it appropriate to share the Dhamma? Is it better to wait to be asked, or is it better to offer advice, techniques, when we see that this may lessen someone's Dukkha?

Ref: 2004.01.x.02.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

7

10

Please can you talk more about the relationship between Dukkha, Anicca, and Anatta?

Ref: 2004.01.x.07.10

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

7

11

Am I correct in understanding that Dukkha includes severe suffering, such as starving to death, as well as a sore back or unfriendly spouse?

Ref: 2004.01.x.07.11

Written answer

Dukkha

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

8

2

What is the relationship between impermanence and "not self", or the Pali word, Anatta?

Ref: 2004.01.x.08.02

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

3

5

Why does walking the Noble Eightfold Path lead to the cessation of ignorance and craving?

Ref: 2004.01.x.03.05

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

9

7

How do we know the difference between contentment and complacency in the practice? And how can you work with complacency in our formal practice and in our daily life?

Ref: 2004.01.x.09.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

5

11

It is obvious that an unpleasant feeling, Vedana, is Dukkha. It is also clear why a pleasant feeling is Dukkha. But why is a neutral feeling Dukkha?

Ref: 2004.01.x.05.11

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

6

1

In your talks, appears the expression "the bliss of ignorance" and "resting in the not knowing". Could you please explain what you mean by this and what is the difference?

Ref: 2004.01.x.06.01

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

6

7

Unsatisfactoriness is the usual way to think of Dukkha, but what is the closest English translation for it?

Ref: 2004.01.x.06.07

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

4

Do you advise, for when you don't understand or misunderstand a guided meditation instruction by missing a word or not knowing a word, to do D/D, thinking that there are people who understand less than us, or are not taught at all?

Ref: 2004.01.x.04.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

6

8

Can you please suggest ways to strengthen Equanimity, in particular related to the eight worldly dhammas? I have been able to use and strengthen equanimity in relationship to small events but I feel I am not ready for when big events might happen. For example loss of health, loss of a loved one, etc.

Ref: 2004.01.x.06.08

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Steve

8

12

Is sadness or grief a type of self-pity? Would you advise to deal with each one in a different way? Can it be helpful to understand more about the causes for sadness and how to prevent going into self-pity at the same time?

Ref: 2004.01.x.08.12

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

2

4

Does the letting go of future thoughts stop the cycle of dependent arising, or what else is needed?

Ref: 2004.01.x.02.04

Written answer

Special Retreat Thailand January 2004

Rosemary

6

3

What helpful things can you say to someone who has severe depression if they are not Dhamma practitioners?

Ref: 2004.01.x.06.03

Written answer