Self-pity

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At present there are 37 entries in this list.

Source / Teacher
Day
Index
Question
Special Retreat Thailand July 2001
Rosemary
6
6
Can you talk about the Truthfulness Parami?
Ref: 2001.07.x.06.06
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2001
Rosemary
7
1
Could you please discuss any techniques which are helpful for using with chronic pain and illness? Thank you.
Ref: 2001.07.x.07.01
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2001
Steve
3
10
Can you talk more about these important moments when Mara switches the mind to unbeneficial ways, like the judging mind, envy, sloth and torpor. How can one more skillfully and quickly root out these thoughts?
Ref: 2001.07.x.03.10
Written answer
Special Retreat Germany September 2005
Steve
5
1
Yesterday Rosemary said during the Death Reflection - if I remember correctly - "May so and so have done good deeds to depend upon". Could you please explain this more in detail?
Ref: 2005.09.x.05.01
Written answer
Special Retreat Germany June 2020
Rosemary
5
2
Is it true that most of our Dukkha comes from our selfish views and our isolation or separation from others? Coming closer to and understanding more the Dukkha of others I feel that my own Dukkha fades away.
Ref: 2020.06.x.05.02
Audio answer
Special Retreat Australia April 2004
Rosemary
7
5
Could you please discuss any techniques that are helpful with chronic pain and illnesses?
Ref: 2004.04.x.07.05
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2007
Steve
8
10
What do you think about expressing feelings, positive and negative, e.g., such as crying, loud laughing, etc. if you don't hurt anybody with it?
Ref: 2007.01.x.08.10
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2007
Steve
4
3
At work I often have to deal with people who see themselves as victims, not able to change anything they dislike in their life, constantly blaming others. Often they act in a very aggressive way. How do I best deal with such people.
Ref: 2007.01.x.04.03
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2007
Rosemary
9
1
Are there any types of aversion the D/D method is not appropriate for? E.g., having aversion to someone like Saddam Hussein.
Ref: 2007.01.x.09.01
Written answer
Special Retreat Germany September 2010
Rosemary
6
4
Can you please give a short form of a D/D for the daily life.
Ref: 2010.09.x.06.04
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2008
Rosemary
6
3
Could you explain more why most of us like to hold onto self-pity type of thoughts?
Ref: 2008.01.x.06.03
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2008
Rosemary
2
1
Could you please talk about which techniques to use when dealing with a headache?
Ref: 2008.01.x.02.01
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2008
Rosemary
7
8
Could you please define or give an example of self-pity? I am sure I have plenty of it, but sometimes when I hear you talk about it, it seems like every unwholesome thought could be self-pity. This seems a bit broad, so maybe I am missing something or maybe all my thoughts are self-pity.
Ref: 2008.01.x.07.08
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2010
Rosemary
17
15
Why do people want to feel like their problems were the worst and no one else feels like they do? Why do we want to feel sorry for ourselves? Self-pity? Is it because it gives us a sense of identity? And what are we seeking at that moment, is it Compassion from somebody?
Ref: 2010.01.x.17.15
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2003
Rosemary
6
8
I live in a house full of spiders. Millions of daddy long legs. I don't mind the spiders, but it's the cobwebs I have a problem with. I have tried brushing away the cobwebs and relocating the spiders, but this is a lost cause because of their numbers. At times I want to get the house sprayed, but then I feel ashamed at the thought of willingly killing beings so that I can have a clean ceiling.
Ref: 2003.01.x.06.08
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2009
Steve
3
1
By strengthening the "how fortunate I am" reflection we let go of self-pity. What would be the result or having little or even no self-pity.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.01
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2009
Steve
3
5
Could you please explain what is meant by the phrase: feelings of unworthiness.
Ref: 2009.01.x.03.05
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2011
Steve
3
3
How can we learn to distinguish whether giving advice versus giving an ear is the most beneficial response when people require our attention?
Ref: 2011.07.x.03.03
Audio answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2010
Rosemary
2
2
Can you please talk about self-pity and how we can recognize it in our practice and daily life?
Ref: 2010.07.x.02.02
Written answer
Special Retreat Australia April 2003
Steve
8
13
Because of the enormity of the days to come in this retreat I sometimes hang down and feel tired.
Ref: 2003.04.x.08.13
Written answer
- How fortunate you are
- Self-pity
Special Retreat Australia April 2003
Rosemary
6
2
Thank you for your teachings on Compassion. I'm coming to realize that it's a central teaching of Buddhism. One thing that kept me from this, and may be an excuse for indifference, was the fear Compassion could be one step from pity, and two steps from indulgence, especially with middle class Dukkha, for example mild alcoholism, obesity, and stress. How to avoid taking these steps, when to be compassionate, and when to be firm?
Ref: 2003.04.x.06.02
Written answer
Special Retreat Germany July 2019
Rosemary
17
2
What is the antidote to self-pity?
Ref: 2019.07.x.17.02
Audio answer
Special Retreat Germany September 2006
Steve
5
9
How can I work with lack of confidence?
Ref: 2006.09.x.05.09
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2005
Rosemary
2
5
Can you talk more about how idealism manifests in the practice and it's relationship with self-pity and self-hatred? I understand that excessive idealism can be the cause of self-pity. What are some other causes of self-pity?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.05
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2005
Rosemary
2
2
To help me recognize self-pity more easily could you please give some examples of behaviors which shows self-pity? Could you also please give some antidotes to self-pity?
Ref: 2005.07.x.02.02
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand July 2005
Steve
4
7
Concerning self-pity, often when I'm not feeling well, I have the urge to talk about it. Yet I also know that I need to avoid indulging in self-pity. Sometimes I think it is better to say nothing, yet I know that not feeling well affects my mood and interactions. So I do think it's better that my friends around me know I'm having some challenges. I also know talking about it sometimes brings some relief. What are your thoughts on this?
Ref: 2005.07.x.04.07
Written answer
Special Retreat Germany September 2009
Rosemary
7
6
Yesterday evening you talked about mindfulness of states of mind. What can help depressed people who have depressed states of mind for a very long period, maybe for months?
Ref: 2009.09.x.07.06
Written answer
Special Retreat Germany July 2018
Steve
14
12
Can you share a personal experience that shows how you acquired wisdom?
Ref: 2018.07.x.14.12
Audio answer
Special Retreat Germany July 2018
Rosemary
15
9
When I am physically exhausted and tired, I tend to self-pity myself, trying the wise reflection sounds like how fortunate, yawn, I am sigh. How to think wisely when the mind is blurred?
Ref: 2018.07.x.15.09
Audio answer
Special Retreat Germany September 2007
Rosemary
7
8
Could you please speak about the influence TV has on the mind. Are there any beneficial effects possible? Is it ok to relax the mind by watching TV?
Ref: 2007.09.x.07.08
Written answer
- Self-pity
- TV
Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000
Steve
7
15
What is attachment made of? Fear of loss or desire?
Ref: 2000.01.x.07.15
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand 1999-2000
Rosemary
8
2
What kind of Reflection could help to lessen the self-pity mind?
Ref: 2000.01.x.08.02
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2004
Steve
4
8
I think I heard you once say that self-pity is a form of self-hatred, could you please explain this a little more?
Ref: 2004.01.x.04.08
Written answer
- Self-hatred
- Self-pity
Special Retreat Thailand January 2004
Rosemary
2
6
What else can I do, apart from the methods you have taught us so far during the retreat, in order to react towards growing tiredness and fatigue?
Ref: 2004.01.x.02.06
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2004
Steve
8
12
Is sadness or grief a type of self-pity? Would you advise to deal with each one in a different way? Can it be helpful to understand more about the causes for sadness and how to prevent going into self-pity at the same time?
Ref: 2004.01.x.08.12
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2004
Rosemary
6
10
What is the intention of using D/D? That is how can it support the growth and deepening of my practice?
Ref: 2004.01.x.06.10
Written answer
Special Retreat Thailand January 2004
Steve
3
6
Sometimes I find myself feeling strong feelings of self-pity. Although I am aware of them, I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed and find it difficult to let them go. What are some techniques that I could use?
Ref: 2004.01.x.03.06
Written answer
- How fortunate you are
- Self-pity